burned out.

[NjbiGuy01]

I've started closing my accounts on these adult websites. I'm 61, turning 62 in December. My kids are grown and out, the wife and I are focusing on growing and running our business, raising our new puppy and frankly the nonsense of finding people for this has taken it's toll on my soul and emotion.

I met what might very-well be my last encounter last week. He wasn't able to get hard, it was pretty clear his cock wasn't the one in his pictures..he sucked me off so rough I had to put fucking Neosporin on my cock and foreskin when I got home to make sure I didn't get infected and to quell the pain....jeez.

I met a woman the week before from AFF. She was a good 20 years older than her profile pics and a good 50 lbs heavier...she just wanted to suck me (which I knew going in) , and nothing else (which was fine) but she reeked of booze and I got turned off by the whole experience and left without doing a thing.

I'm on Adam and realized a couple of guys in my immediate town and I have been writing back and forth for over 6 weeks and nobody can seem to coordinate finding time to grab coffee or a beer let alone having sex. One guy was all set to have a regular thing and his girlfriend moved in and now he's basically a prisoner in his own home and has zero time without her attached to him. Who knows if that's even true.

I met one MF couple and had a great relationship until we realized she knew my wife from HS and it ruined things for her...suddenly my faceless, nameless wife was a real person and she couldn't "fuck another man's wife"....so much for that.

Maybe it's time to just take a break from this fun and see if I feel even the slightest twinge to return to this lifestyle. Thanks for letting me rant....

[KDaddy23]

Wow, talk about a string of "bad" luck! I've had such moments in my life and I've thought that "walking away" from it would be the right thing to do... then changed my mind or had it changed for me. I'll be 64 in a couple of weeks... and I don't lose any sleep over finding people or how crazy that can be. Sometimes I run into "poor performers" - disappointing but still part of that occupational hazard when you're looking for sex; you're either gonna shake it off, chalk it up to experience, and move on or you're gonna let it bother you.

I'd rather shrug and keep it moving. I'm on Adam and my string of bad luck is having young 20-somethings looking for a daddy, guys demanding that you gotta have a job before you can get with them as well as the usual guys who leave a message, I answer it, and that's that. Totally fucked up... but still pretty much the nature of the beast so shrug it off - makes no sense to get bent out of shape about it since you can't control what other people do.

Hopefully, things will get better for ya!

[new day]

Your rant brings up a lot of good topics. The main point seems to be that there are pluses and minuses when meeting people online. The biggest positive is that you can screen people and know what they like and don't like ahead of time. That's something you might not bring up in face to face conversation upon meeting someone in person. You have anonymity online until you choose to give it up. On the down side, you can miss the accurate picture of someone who wants to fake it. You miss out on tone of voice and the nuance that phone and in person conversation bring.

You also mention the no shows and the under-performers. There's a lot of that in life both on and offline. We've all been stood up and we've all be disappointed by sex partners.

I think your idea of taking a break is good. Clear your head. Think about priorities. Take time to appreciate the main part of your life with your wife. I don't think it will take long to assess your situation and figure out whether or not you will go back to your searches.

[csreef]

Njbiguy01 - No you weren't ranting, you are telling the truth. It is very hard to meet people. Plain, pure and simple, it is just a numbers game to find someone.

Just trying to meet someone for a cup of coffee is nearly impossible. I too am not looking, and guess what, my life is a lot smoother. :)

[dowmass]

So I am 60 too. My story is very different. I realized I loved cocks, when I was in my 8th grade - by sheer accident. I and a friend were talking dirty and the next thing we were playing with dicks. You wouldn't believe it, but we didn't know that we could suck each other's dick. All we did was frottage, and once I suggested that he fuck me. He did. He was big and it hurt a bit... and like all childhood stories, I moved to another town

Fast forward 20 plus years I got married and after 15 years of married life, got interested in dicks. I have bottomed only twice in 7 years - the same sob story of fakes, flakes, married guys who can't make it because his wife wanted him home (some emergency) or because she had to go out of town urgently... all that bullshit. Then the ones that were suddenly allergic to latex at the 11th hour and wanted to bareback... the story continues. Double list, Adam4Adam, Squirt - the usual nonsense. Not one honest guy (so far).... the saga continues.....

[playful808]

Re: burned out, closing accounts, etc.

Man, I get it. I am a straight arrow, boy-scout type. Integrity matters.
My my standards, 95% of guys online are unsafe, dishonest, secretive, paranoid, risky, desperate, unstable, …
Yes, it is discouraging. It does not make me proud of other men.

My 2 cents:
Don’t quit, just set clear boundaries.
Look for friendship and easy conversation before getting sexual.
Meet first for coffee or a walk in the park.
Put that right in your profile, it eliminates a LOT of opportunistic bottom-feeders.

PS: if someone is damaging your dick giving you a blowjob, make them stop.
Tell them what is wrong. Don’t just endure in pain.

[DD788Snipe]

I hear where you're coming from. I've been leaning the same way. I just haven't been in the mood lately. I have a couple of regulars. Young guys. They hit me up from time to time but I just can't seem to get motivated. Wife is always around lately so that puts a damper on things too. So I guess I'm in a quandary so to speak like you. I haven't been on the forum for a while. Hey Kdaddy and playful. Good to see you guys are still here.

[Coastocoast]

I am at the point where I have taken a break from looking as well which may or may not be long term. I am looking for something different than most, am single and prefer someone who is also and looking for something exclusive I am not a bug chaser. I get tired of the BS and people answering an ad with a situation completely different than I am looking for expecting me to just go along with it. No, I said I am looking for someone single playing safe I am not looking to bareback on 5 minutes notice before your wife gets home from work. Also, this site has become a big issue. Over the last 6-9 months (the death of SBG one bug issue) it has deteriorated to the point where the forum often looks like a bunch of 9th graders talking the same low level sex crap daily. How may times can they rehash the same bullshit on how hard many times can you play hit and run in a week and how hard they try to get AIDS? The death of Drew has left the site on life support and whoever is now running it needs to seriously consider pulling the plug.

[dowmass]

You have a valid point. Probably some of us are sick of the excess - be it entertainment, sex, booze or food. We might have reached a "saturation" point, and it makes sense to back off - become quiet, meditate, and come back when we miss the stuff that was so common place before.
I work in IT myself, but the main villain in this case is the internet.

On a different note, does anyone remember how men met men and men met women before internet took over our lives?



I am at the point where I have taken a break from looking as well which may or may not be long term. I am looking for something different than most, am single and prefer someone who is also and looking for something exclusive I am not a bug chaser. I get tired of the BS and people answering an ad with a situation completely different than I am looking for expecting me to just go along with it. No, I said I am looking for someone single playing safe I am not looking to bareback on 5 minutes notice before your wife gets home from work. Also, this site has become a big issue. Over the last 6-9 months (the death of SBG one bug issue) it has deteriorated to the point where the forum often looks like a bunch of 9th graders talking the same low level sex crap daily. How may times can they rehash the same bullshit on how hard many times can you play hit and run in a week and how hard they try to get AIDS? The death of Drew has left the site on life support and whoever is now running it needs to seriously consider pulling the plug.

[DD788Snipe]

Exactly Coastocoast. I miss the SBGs site. I'm surprised papasmurf has weighed in on this subject. Thats of course if he's still on the site.

[Coastocoast]

Part of the problem is this site is NOT SBG. I never went there, am not sure but suspect that what you see now is what was talked about there. Also, Posting personals in the forum here is expressly prohibited. Most that ignore it and it is now consistent joined in 2019. Many who have been here for a while recall a time when there was intelligent conversations in the forum and discussion on the community as a whole and issues impacting it. Those days are gone and it sounds like a 9th grade locker room.

[DD788Snipe]

SBGs was a great site. A lot of conversations just like this one. Guys helping guys out in dealing with everyday issues that most of us deal with. A bunch of us moved here when it went dark and believe me it's not the same. I miss the comradrie and mature conversations there.

[xdoorb]

So who has some free time and wants to start a new site? I, unfortunately, do not have the time.

[dowmass]

The fact is putting up
a site and maintaining it is a lot of work, First off, why do you want to this?
So who has some free time and wants to start a new site?

I, unfortunately, do not have the time.

[SilkyHoseLover]

Re: burned out, closing accounts, etc.

Man, I get it. I am a straight arrow, boy-scout type. Integrity matters.
My my standards, 95% of guys online are unsafe, dishonest, secretive, paranoid, risky, desperate, unstable, …
Yes, it is discouraging. It does not make me proud of other men.


Hear! Hear! I'm with you all the way on this. Every word of it. Could've written it, myself!

I've has so many false-starts, no-shows, and ghosting that it sometimes gets me down. But I have met a small number of very decent guys who have been communicative and dependable, who do show up and are friendly and fun to be with. Haven't yet met someone who's very close to what I'm really looking for, but I'm not being totally shut out.

My frustration is double these days. I run into the same type of response to a Craigslist ad I ran looking for someone to enjoy playing music with. First one to respond sounded interested and, because I was out-of-town when his response came in, we exchanged a couple of emails discussing the subject, and I told him I'd give him a call when we got back home. He told me the best time to call, and I gave him a ring at the time he suggested. He didn't answer, nor did he return my call.

And I heard from another guy who lives within walking distance from me, and appeared enthusiastic to get together. We exchanged song ideas, I gave him some mp3 files to work with and talked to him on the phone. We seemed to be on the same wavelength for songs to start with. After I sent him some work files for a song HE wanted to play -- nothing! He didn't even acknowledge that I'd sent the files for him to practice with.

Two others have asked for more information about what I have in mind. I send them a good description and that's it. I can understand someone deciding that it's not something they're interested in, but I would appreciate a 'Thanks, but no thanks' note for the (considerable) effort I put into trying to set something up.

It's frustrating...

[lancer525]

Could someone please explain what "SBG" is or was? I've never seen that acronym anywhere else.

[csreef]

Lancer - SBG stands for Shy Bi Guys, a site that dissolved about a year ago.

[lancer525]

Thanks. Not all of us know all the acronyms and lingo...

Much appreciated.

[cbxer66]

I've been on and off this forum, LPSG, ManHunt, and Adam4Adam. I've met at least one from every site since 2013. Met one guy from here, who no longer seems to be here. Had a couple nice times with him. Met one guy from LPSG one time and it was good. Met one from MH and it was good. Met too many to remember from A4A, and usually had a good time. Yeah, some were overweight, and most didn't resemble their pictures. Or the pics were of them a lot younger than they really are. I still tried to have a good time, even if I knew I wouldn't invite them back. I don't know why I even stay on this forum any more, there are only two other people in my local area that are members. Just the classy conservation I suppose. That and I sometimes get off on the pictures here. ;-)

Reality is I'm totally happy to use my hand or one of my Fleshlights. Anything else that happens is just icing-on-the-cake.

Some dude from California pmed me last night. Yeah Right, like that's really going to happen when I live in Oklahoma. LMAO!!

[MAcpl69]

Yeah it seems pretty discouraging, I have to get my wife's approval before anything could happen, but it dosen't change how I feel. I'm going to keep a positive attitude and hope things will fall in place. If I give up then it will definitely not happen.

[NjbiGuy01]

Thanks for everyone's feedback and understanding. I've taken a deep breath and am taking things one day at a time. It's obvious that that local guy in my town I was waiting-on is a zero. No answer or response all weekend. I've basically stopped aggressively searching and hopefully things will start looking up. Focusing on life itself and seeing what it sends me. Wife has a potential medical issue, so I need to focus on seeing what her tests bring and a dealing with that. Thanks again all.

[by~his~side]

@NJbiGuy01
I hope the medical issue with the Mrs. is nothing serious.
Please drop me a line and let me know if you think about it.
Thanks-
Dee