Advice for Coming Out

[sxylibra03]

I'm in an akward space in my life. I'm a recent divorcee from a woman (no cheating, just grew apart). After spending time with myself and reflecting on my life, I realized I'm Bi. I've only told one friend and a cousin. I come from a Black Christian family and I can already feel some backlash. My question is should I tell them or cross that bridge when I have to (meet a guy I could date)?

[zbi73]

I think for each person it's different, whether you want to deal with it now or in the future is entirely up to you. The only advice I can really give (as I haven't come out) is do it in your own time, when ready and on your own terms.

[csreef]

Being out , is a personal preference. I am only out to a handful of people that I feel comfortable with.

I always believe in Honesty, and when I've dated guys, and told them I was Bi, they looked at me with not a totally positive manner.

When I've dated women, and told them I was Bi, I've gotten reactions of being super supportive, reactions of being that they could have cared less, To one

woman, who when I told her I was Bi, the look on her face was like a cat that had just swallowed a sour mouse.

I would say, just go with how comfortable you feel at the time. Its your life, please be comfortable in it. :flag1::bibounce:

[playful808]

I can’t help you with the Black Christian thing, but I know for sure that secrets, dishonesty, sneaking, hiding, … are all corrosive to the soul.

Remember that you are informing them, not asking for permission. Some people need to be reminded that they don’t get to vote on your orientation. (Hell, you don’t even get to vote on that.)

Be prepared to hear strong opinions about your sex life. If they get personal, try tp take the high road. Don’t burn bridges.

Good luck.

[sysper]

it's interesting that in ur experiance women have been more supportive of male bisexuality than men. it doesn't confirm anything for me nor does it surprise me because i really didn't know what to expect.
how does this break down to the orientation of these folks? i imagine other bi guys have had no problem.
Being out , is a personal preference. I am only out to a handful of people that I feel comfortable with.

I always believe in Honesty, and when I've dated guys, and told them I was Bi, they looked at me with not a totally positive manner.

When I've dated women, and told them I was Bi, I've gotten reactions of being super supportive, reactions of being that they could have cared less, To one

woman, who when I told her I was Bi, the look on her face was like a cat that had just swallowed a sour mouse.

I would say, just go with how comfortable you feel at the time. Its your life, please be comfortable in it. :flag1::bibounce:

[Long Duck Dong]

I am openly out but that is a mixture of being out and having people out me to others. Its also opened me up to assumptions and judgement by others that decided what bi means for me, IE I am wanting open and free relationships with lots of casual sex which is actually very far from the truth.

so here is some pointers I can share

1) being bi / gay and having sex with men, is against god ? thats between me and god, its a personal thing, just like a relationship and communication. The bible tells people not to judge others and that its a personal walk with christ..... if people really care about others, they would read their bible first and abide by it, not cherry pick the parts they want to use against others.

2) Whom you date, is whom you date, you have to be comfortable with them, other people do not have to like them but they also are not dating them...

3) You are advising people about aspects of your life, not asking their permission to be who you are....

4) Outing yourself to others is not the same as posting links to your amateur home made porn vids for them to view.... people need to learn the difference....

5) Saying you are bi, is disclosing your sexuality as part of whom you are, you are still you, it does not mean that you are suddenly changing jobs, cars, houses etc....

6) saying you are bi, is not the same as working out boundaries and compromises in relationships..... its saying you are attracted to males and females, not saying I want open, poly, casual sex 3 nights a week and thats a non negotiable situation....

7) people are going to judge you.... often they are the same people that will say do not judge me....