Confused

[MissFancyPants25]

I'm just so confused right now and I don't really know what's going on with me. So many of my feelings have changed in the past couple of days and I don't know what to think of it. My boyfriend is bi (which didn't bother me when i found out) and wants to be active with other people (which DID bother me A LOT). It was something that has been bothering me for months, I didn't want him to want anyone else, I wanted him to want me. I was extremely jealous and scared. My boyfriend and I have talked so much lately just about everything and all of a sudden I'm becoming much more open about trying things with other people.
I had never really thought of girls before all of this so when I found out he was bi I tried to think of girls in a sexual way, but it just didn't do anything for me. So I told him that if we were ever to do anything with another person I was willing to consider doing it with a guy, but I told him that I'm just not interested in girls. The next day I was thinking about being with two guys at the same time and I was starting to get very curious about what it would be like and kind of looking forward to it and I realized that I wasn't just willing to "consider" doing something involving another guy, but that I wanted to.
Later that night we got to talking about how looking at a girl doesn't bring on any sexual feelings but maybe I would eventually be able to consider (there's that word again) trying something involving another girl just to see if touching would trigger some feelings. We kept talking about that and how if we were friends with the girl and she was attracted to me I might be willing to give her some sexual attention to make her happy because she'd be my friend and I'd want her to feel good.
And then I have NO idea how this next part happened because like I said before I had even TRIED to think of a girl sexually to see what would happen and nothing did, but all of a sudden I started imagining how a girls smooth skin would feel to touch (my boyfriend is very hairy but i love smooth textures). And I guess it was just thinking of all that smoothness that turned me on, but I got so crazy and couldn't stop imagining a girl and how I wanted to see what it felt like to hold someone and feel her smooth skin all over me. Just thinking about it was making me so excited and I started shaking and my body and face got all hot. my boyfriend started wispering things to me like how it would feel to touch and what we'd do to eachother and I felt like I wanted a girl so bad...like I NEEEDED a girl.
I have never felt like this before and I'm just really confused about everything. I don't know what it means or if I'd even like it, but I want to try it. I forgot to mention that while I wasn't attracted to a womans body I always did think that they were pretty, not in a sexual way, but in the way that someone might admire a painting and I especially thought boobs were pretty, but all of a sudden they're more than "pretty" to me.

[miamiuu]

As long as you do what makes you happy and this whole idea hasn't been influenced by your spouse you should go for it. Have you ever asked him exactly what these other people can do for him that you can't at this time? If so I would be curious in hearing what he said.

[open2both]

Miss,
It's healthy and natural for humans to ponder and explore our sexuality and you're no exception. Try things. They may or may not be to your liking and over time, who knows? Don't let the predominately hetero/judgmental world define you or dictate to you what your TRUE nature is! It's your life.
I'm in L.A. and if you want to talk it over with somebody, I'm willing.
D.

[Rhuth]

Congratulations! What a fun and exciting time for you! Lol Yes, it is confusing but the whirlwind you are caught up in right now will calm down soon. I always look back on the times when I came to such realizations fondly.

Maybe you can enjoy things you never considered before. Maybe it is just the deviant excitement of bedroom talk. Miamiuu did make a good point. Sometimes a person we love can get us caught up in sexual exploration that might cause regret later.

I would suggest going slowly with involving another person, but go hog wild with the conversation and fantasies that drove you to post this. Didn’t it feel great?!? *giggles* Do it again! Come up with more ideas. Play! Fantasize! Talk dirty! All this playing can safely help you cement your own feelings and newfound boundaries.

When it comes to moving on to the next step once you have established your new boundaries, I’ve got tons of advice (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1818)! Lol Then your biggest problem is shutting me up! Not that I am competing with open2both or anything! *gooses open2both*

[Mrs.F]

[QUOTE=Rhuth]
Maybe you can enjoy things you never considered before. Maybe it is just the deviant excitement of bedroom talk. Miamiuu did make a good point. Sometimes a person we love can get us caught up in sexual exploration that might cause regret later.

I've done alot of fantasizing and daydreaming about 3somes and thinking about my husband with another male in this past yr. I even thought about women :eek: ....but that is not something I want. I am not sexually attracted to woman at all. And I have days where I think I am ready for a 3some and then there are days I'm not. There are days I'm ready to let Flounder go find a male friend and then I have days I am not. The one thing that I know for sure is that I will not do anything until I know I am ready because I don't want the regret later..as Rhuth said! I want it to be something I want and can handle and am mentally/emotionally ready for. No one should make you think or push you into anything. It should be what you want. I wonder sometimes if I will ever know what I want. But what's the rush....take your time and really think things through! ;)

[Tynary]

I think its normal for a woman to feel interested in women at some point. It doesn't make them one thing or the other but many of the girls I know have thought about girls in a sexual way before. Just try things out and see what makes you happy.