Are bisexuals considered LGBT people? Or how was I wrong in this?

[Anonymous22]

I have a friend who I've been friends with since 5. Growing up I thought she was straight she is straight acting very femme type until later in our junior year she became friends with this girl. We were 16. She never had boyfriend's really at that point and was a virgin. But she would talk about guys. The girl she became friends with in junior year was self identifying as straight and my friend would perform oral sex on her. She would always talk about this and it went on for months very often and she would talk about not receiving anything in return because the girl was straight. She never said she was gay then but implying that the girl wouldn't go down on her because she was straight implied my friend didn't see herself as straight considering she was performing oral sex on a female very often and seemed to look forward to it. It appeared that to her straight girls don't go down on other girls. Which obviously we don't. So clearly implied she was a either bi or lesbian. I assumed bi because she talked about guys at that point. Just not dated them. After that her friend got a boyfriend and they stopped having sexual contact. But my friend didn't even stop there she ended up having some kind of encounter with another female later which was just last year. She always claimed it was a threesome and she was more attracted to the guy but obvious considering the conversation since almost two years ago it seemed like she never saw herself as straight? Now she's dated guys been intimate with them by now I assumed she was bisexual. She wasn't even secretive about the whole lesbian stuff all our friends knew. The other day I said something along the fact that my best friend is a member of the LGBT community. And she got upset. Saying she's not lgbt in any shape or form. This was less than 2 years ago that she had been openly participating in lesbian acts. She's 18 now. I don't get how being bisexual isn't apart of the LGBT community or what I said wrong?

[DallasSucker]

The B part of LGBT means bisexual. And in your friends case the L means lesbian

[Anonymous22]

The B part of LGBT means bisexual. And in your friends case the L means lesbian

Yeah before she started dating guys I thought she was just a femme lesbian I was surprised she was dating a guy but i have to admit even during these days with this girl she did talk about guys and which one she thought was attractive


I didn't mean to offend though that's why I don't get why it was wrong to say this. Bisexuals are apart of the LGBT community no matter who they are dating. So I don't get why she thought I was rude and insensitive it's not a big issue anyway now I just didn't know I wasn't supposed to view her as an LGBT person.

[mike r]

It's like the old joke: "happily married for 30 years; 4 kids. But suck one cock and suddenly I'm bi?"

[Anonymous22]

It's like the old joke: "happily married for 30 years; 4 kids. But suck one cock and suddenly I'm bi?"

Well it's not just that but she kind of implied she wasn't because she implied straight don't perform oral sex on other women.... It's not just what she did that's what I was trying to point out

[tenni]

"I don't get how being bisexual isn't apart of the LGBT community or what I said wrong?

I think that a lot of bisexuals do not identify with the LBGT community. Fluidity in bisexuals does not usually make them accept the political aspects of the "LBGT community".

Some bisexuals adapt and identify with the political aspects of labels placed on them. Some bisexuals do not have "coming out" as essential to being bisexuals like many /most gays and lesbians do.

[csreef]

Yes I am Bisexual:flag3:, and Yes I am part of the LGBT Community ! :grouphug:

If someone wishes to "Self-Segregate " fine, and does not wish to identify as being part of the LGBT Family, let them go on their own path.

[CurEUs_Male]

Yes, Bi is part of LGBT, or LGBTQIA+.... but...

how your friend identifies themself is what really matters. If they are not comfortable with Lesbian or Gay, a lot of society will demand they 'pick a side' and so Straight is the default. Bi's do not have the visibility of L & G, which is troubling since many of those that initiated Pride itself were Bi.

I see a lot of 'straight' identifying men looking for male sexual partners. There is a 'no label' attitude as well. I meet a lot of guys that wont use a label ... and so there are few solid, healthy, bisexual, icons for those that are younger to follow...

Don't worry about her identity so much. If you are Bi, (assumed since you are here), be out and be supportive of her choices.

[playful808]

Many gays and lesbians do not believe bisexuality exists.
Us so-called bisexuals are just sitting on the fence, or fooling ourselves, etc.
Some of us have been made unwelcome in the queer community, and the straight community.
There is no reasoning with some folks.

[KDaddy23]

Sometimes, people will behave in a certain fashion that identifies with something that's very well known but to them, they're not the duck they've be quacking like. It's not like they don't get around to figuring out what they've been doing is and what it could be called - lesbianism or bisexual - but in their minds, nope, that's not them at all so when you ask what appears to be an innocent question based upon what you know about them, they sometimes get offended and it seems so strange that they do. It's almost classic denial and like how a lot of guys believe that if they get blown by another guy - but they don't return the favor, it doesn't mean that they're gay or bi.

Some folks are of a mind to "divorce" themselves from the LGBT community even though the "B" is for bisexual and I think this happens because they're actually not an active participant in LGBT stuff even though one could say that if you're bisexual, you're a part of the community just the same... but the perception that LGBT is mainly for gay folks, well, bisexuals aren't gay so there's a disconnect from what LBGT is and does and what the individual does and/or goes about doing it. That and it's been reported that the LGBT community treats bisexuals like red-headed stepchildren and, often, act as if we, as bisexuals, don't belong to their clique because, you know, bisexuality doesn't really exist.

Personally, I'm all for people being bisexual... or whatever they identify as. I write a blog about being bisexual and I write about the pros and cons of bisexuality including all the dumb shit people are still spouting. But the one thing you'd never see me is attending an LGBT event; if I went to one, they'd kick me out in a hurry because I'd be the one to point out how stupid they're acting when it comes to bisexuals and more so when a lot of the angst against bisexuals comes from the LGBT community. Still, it's just "natural" for one to assume that if you're bisexual (or whatever), you're a part of the community - think of it as being guilty by association.

So I'd say you didn't do anything wrong by asking the question; it's just that this person's perception of self is different; she's not lesbian or bi - she's just who she is and she does what she likes to do.

[nu2curious]

Sometimes, people will behave in a certain fashion that identifies with something that's very well known but to them, they're not the duck they've be quacking like. It's not like they don't get around to figuring out what they've been doing is and what it could be called - lesbianism or bisexual - but in their minds, nope, that's not them at all so when you ask what appears to be an innocent question based upon what you know about them, they sometimes get offended and it seems so strange that they do. It's almost classic denial and like how a lot of guys believe that if they get blown by another guy - but they don't return the favor, it doesn't mean that they're gay or bi.

Some folks are of a mind to "divorce" themselves from the LGBT community even though the "B" is for bisexual and I think this happens because they're actually not an active participant in LGBT stuff even though one could say that if you're bisexual, you're a part of the community just the same... but the perception that LGBT is mainly for gay folks, well, bisexuals aren't gay so there's a disconnect from what LBGT is and does and what the individual does and/or goes about doing it. That and it's been reported that the LGBT community treats bisexuals like red-headed stepchildren and, often, act as if we, as bisexuals, don't belong to their clique because, you know, bisexuality doesn't really exist.

Personally, I'm all for people being bisexual... or whatever they identify as. I write a blog about being bisexual and I write about the pros and cons of bisexuality including all the dumb shit people are still spouting. But the one thing you'd never see me is attending an LGBT event; if I went to one, they'd kick me out in a hurry because I'd be the one to point out how stupid they're acting when it comes to bisexuals and more so when a lot of the angst against bisexuals comes from the LGBT community. Still, it's just "natural" for one to assume that if you're bisexual (or whatever), you're a part of the community - think of it as being guilty by association.

So I'd say you didn't do anything wrong by asking the question; it's just that this person's perception of self is different; she's not lesbian or bi - she's just who she is and she does what she likes to do.
Personally I've a certain degree of disdain for the LGBTQ groups out there with all the in your face antics and militant tactics.

In truth most BI people male or female do not identify with this and most likely never will.

[tenni]

To add to my above comment. If you are bisexual, you are neither gay or lesbian. The LGBTQ is mainly a political organization for LG. The Trans community is not a sexuality as it is gender based group. Trans may be heterosexual, gay, or lesbian or other sexualities .

Bisexuals seem to want to be part of the heterosexuality community but also with same gender people whether they are bisexual themselves or accepting Gay people who accept our interests with both genders. If you are bisexual, you are part of the bisexual community...not the LGBTQ community. We do not "divorce" ourselves from the LGBTQ. We were never part of the LGBQT. Unfortunately, the bisexual community is a rather weak political group and our visibility and publicity suffers.

I wonder if it best to see bisexuality as the opposite to mono sexuality (gays, lesbians and heterosexuals)? We should not be trying to be part of monosexuals. Discuss what makes us different from monosexuals. For one thing, we are not in a closet. It is none of anyone else's business who we have sex with. We will let you know if we are interested in you as a partner.

[csreef]

Many gays and lesbians do not believe bisexuality exists.
Us so-called bisexuals are just sitting on the fence, or fooling ourselves, etc.
Some of us have been made unwelcome in the queer community, and the straight community.
There is no reasoning with some folks.

I have been at an LGBT Center and the amount of "Bi Erasure" and Bi - Phobia " that I experience is amazing ! I know what I like, please don't tell me that I'm deluding myself,ect.

I can't believe (unfortunately, I did experience it. ) the open discrimination in a place ( an LGBT Center ) that is supposedly open and accepting to all walks of life. :banghead:

[sysper]

ur title & post ask slightly different things. the title asks if bi's (really ur friend) is lgbt, the post asks if ur friend is part of the lgbt community. if she has willingly been with both sexes & enjoyed it i have no doubt in my mind she is either lesbian or bi. lgbt covers that. (also i believe if her friend willingly let her eat her out & she enjoyed it she's also lgbt but in denial but that's another story) but just because ur lgbt doesn't necessarily mean ur part of the lgbt community. some lgbt people find value in being with other lgbt people as a political or social etc. force. they show up to events as lgbt people, they make sure there treated fairly in law etc. but other lgbt people wanna keep on the dl about it, not necessarily in the closet but they do there thing with there preferred gender, if they have 1 lol. & not make a big deal about it. there not gonna make a point to society there lgbt, just hookup or fall in love or anything in between, with whoever comes along that's right.

[Jazminedress]

I have been at an LGBT Center and the amount of "Bi Erasure" and Bi - Phobia " that I experience is amazing ! I know what I like, please don't tell me that I'm deluding myself,ect.

I can't believe (unfortunately, I did experience it. ) the open discrimination in a place ( an LGBT Center ) that is supposedly open and accepting to all walks of life. :banghead:

people are who they are, I think for some, the fact you have a choice, and dont lock yourself into one position, it probably bothers some. Same with if you are conservative but socially liberal, or liberal but conservative financially....................people want you to be one or the other, not open minded

[csreef]

people are who they are, I think for some, the fact you have a choice, and dont lock yourself into one position, it probably bothers some. Same with if you are conservative but socially liberal, or liberal but conservative financially....................people want you to be one or the other, not open minded

Well said Sdbrit. Thank you.

[Coastocoast]

In reality there is no LGBT community. There is an LGT community but the B Bisexual community is outside of that scope. Gay and lesbians do accept Transsexuals but bisexuals to most gays / lesbians are just those who have not excepted who they are. Straight people say having sex with the same sex is a homosexual act, you are homosexual. I am attracted to both women and men. I am capable of monogamy with either sex I am with. I do not argue the point with anyone I move on. Be who you are and screw those who cannot accept you on face value

[marine20]

i don't feel that i belong to any community. i love women , but i like having sex with men on occasion. call me what you want , but that's simply who i am.

[tenni]

Good points coastotoast

"Straight people say having sex with the same sex is a homosexual act, you are homosexual."

Language choice can be important when writing about sexualities. It can reflect where your identity really is at.

Homosexual acts are done by homosexuals. Bisexuals have same sex acts when having sex with the same gender. When a bisexual is having sex with the opposite gender they are not having straight sex. You can sometimes read posts on sexuality and bisexuals on this site who refer to gay sex when having sex with the same gender.

It may help to keep conversations clearer when discussing things with non bisexuals and some bisexuals. Gay sex may be used to describe gay people but not if one is bisexual. You are not just bisexual when you have sex with another bisexual.

[cbb83]

It's a weird thing... you can be considered LGB, but you're not necessarily a part of the community.

The LGBT community tend to be a toxic cesspool of polarized activists who exemplify all the worst and most flamboyant "look at me!" attention grabbing behaviors.

The rampant social-justice-warrioring drives me insane, as does the entitlement and the stereotypical behavior.

That said... squeaky wheels get the grease. They make the noise and take the spot light, while the silent majority just votes with them and continues on being typical people.

Obviously, I am in the LGBA group, but not a part of the community.

What's A? Asexual. All the alphabet soup after LGBA is actually not sexual orientation related at all and is in fact an entirely separate gender-issue thing. I'm not sure why they got lumped with the sexual orientations. Probably part of why there is so much confusion about it.

[sysper]

The LGBT community tend to be a toxic cesspool of polarized activists who exemplify all the worst and most flamboyant "look at me!" attention grabbing behaviors.

The rampant social-justice-warrioring drives me insane, as does the entitlement and the stereotypical behavior.
sounds like something the homophobes want everyone to believe. i'm not disputing u just looking at this from another angle.

[querty]

I\
What's A? Asexual. All the alphabet soup after LGBA is actually not sexual orientation related at all and is in fact an entirely separate gender-issue thing. I'm not sure why they got lumped with the sexual orientations. Probably part of why there is so much confusion about it.

Spot on