less sex

[papasmurph]

I caught an article from "the Hill" that the frequency of people having sex has dropped significantly, per a recent study...
It seems that young men, age 20-29 report having less sex than a generation ago... some men reporting they have gone as long as a year without having sex...
The study contributed factors such as technology and people getting married later in life...

So, my question is - what is sex? Are young men finding it easier to jerk off on the internet? And getting married later? Since when is getting married a significant factor in having sex?

interesting article...

All these young guys are wasting their youth, in my opinion (sarcasm)

[KDaddy23]

One of the things that was inferred and insisted upon when I was growing up was to not have sex before you got married but when you did, the sex would flow freely until death did you part. The reality, of course, is very different in either case. These days, women are being even more careful than ever before about having sex which, it seems to me, is just part of their long battle to gain empowerment and not continuing to be treated as second-class citizens in all things, like the equal pay issues... and this includes not being seen and/or treated as sexual objects. So if it's a fact that this generation of 20-somethings are having less sex, it's kinda not surprising but would probably also speak to why there seems to be more bisexual men than at any other time in the past as well.

It begs the question of whether or not masturbation is "really sex" and I'm thinking that most people think it isn't since we hold true that it takes two people to have sex and then sex in the form of intercourse; it's this "explanation" that speaks to why so many people insist that giving/receiving head isn't having sex. I even know guys who firmly believe that even if they got with another guy, if they didn't ejaculate in a mouth or an ass, they really didn't have sex. I'm thinking that if they didn't, what was it that they did do prior to busting a nut? Further, masturbation is also known as autoeroticism - pleasing yourself - so I suppose that this can be seen as not being "real sex" since you're doing it solo... but if it causes you to ejaculate, um, did you not kinda/sorta just have sex with yourself?

Some might say yes, others would say no. It seems that picking up a dictionary and reading how sex is being defined doesn't mean a whole lot since we tend to make our own decisions of what sex means and what it is. It's like another question: If a woman puts on a strap-on and fucks a guy in the ass, is the guy gay? Most people would say that he is because only gay men get fucked in the ass - but we know that isn't true either.

[Jazminedress]

Because we all have bills to pay, and if you live someplace like California, they will want to tax you per sperm you shoot out

[playful808]

Yes, I read that article, Papa. My take:
millenials grow up with a lot of sex-negative messages.
Females especially get bombed with nightmares about failed contraception, date rape, unplanned pregnancy, abortion, early motherhood/lost opportunities, diseases that last forever, etc. Nightmare stuff.
Boys grow up thinking that the average dick can be seen in pornos, and the average woman can be unlocked with magic words.
Both spend so much time on line that they evolve totally unrealistic expectations
regarding human bodies, sex organs, sexual acts, sexual relationships, etc.
Ridiculous expectations always lead to disappointments.
After enough disappointments, you take the easier path.

Say what you want about Americans, but we have the best fantasy sex in the world.

[KDaddy23]

The best fantasy sex... right along with the most immature perspective of sex of any culture in the world.

[csreef]

The best fantasy sex... right along with the most immature perspective of sex of any culture in the world.

It never ceases to amaze me how Puritanical Americans are when it comes to sex.

[playful808]

Here is the original article:
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/12/the-sex-recession/573949/

Apparently, in places like Japan, virginity at middle age is pretty common.

Makes me wonder if being sexually active with live humans will become a fetish.

[MorThan7]

A generation ago I was one of those that went a long time without sex with a partner. It wasn't until I had my GF move in and then marry did I get regular sex. Part of the problem was the emotional distance that I had with single women that I came in contact with. I grew up dating southern women and when I moved to the west coast I just couldn't relate to anyone single.

I ended up with a girl from the midwest. So I can see why guys could have such a long dry spell.

[cbb83]

Because we all have bills to pay, and if you live someplace like California, they will want to tax you per sperm you shoot out

Honestly? In California? I could see it :-\

[KDaddy23]

I'd read an article about Japanese youth that said they were foregoing sex... but I don't remember offhand why they were. I've been to Japan twice, got "natively laid" there twice and, yeah, the Japanese are some very sexual people although they don't seem to be as "crazy" about it as Americans are but, then again, they're one of the oldest cultures and have a very long history of what I once heard described as "ritualistic sex" that also included permissible homosexuality. I dunno... maybe because they're so driven to succeed that the youngsters don't have time to have sex? Hmm.

[lancer525]

Because we all have bills to pay, and if you live someplace like California, they will want to tax you per sperm you shoot out

What a "load" of bullshit.

Better than living in Texas or any other southern state where every RWNJ crooked politician wants to regulate every bodily function while letting anyone shoot anyone else.

[csreef]

Here is the original article:
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/12/the-sex-recession/573949/

Apparently, in places like Japan, virginity at middle age is pretty common.

Makes me wonder if being sexually active with live humans will become a fetish.

Thank you for posting a link to that article.

[csreef]

I think that there is SO MUCH porn on the interweb, that people don't have to go out and find a person to date, and don't have to deal with all that related bullshit that goes with a relationship.

They click on a porn site, get turned on, and just jack off! :2cents:

[cbb83]

I'd read an article about Japanese youth that said they were foregoing sex... but I don't remember offhand why they were. I've been to Japan twice, got "natively laid" there twice and, yeah, the Japanese are some very sexual people although they don't seem to be as "crazy" about it as Americans are but, then again, they're one of the oldest cultures and have a very long history of what I once heard described as "ritualistic sex" that also included permissible homosexuality. I dunno... maybe because they're so driven to succeed that the youngsters don't have time to have sex? Hmm.

Japanese culture is actually fairly young, and largely borrowed. You're thinking of Chinese culture.

[playful808]

I read that Japan has the highest per-capita consumption of pornography in the world.
So I take back what I said earlier about Americans having the best fantasy sex in the world.

On the other hand, have you seen Japanese porn?
Straight from the land of WTF.
Especially hentai, the animation:
incest, tranny, alien, child rape, animal, undead, tentacle, robot, and so on.

Obviously, I do not get Japanese culture.

It is impossible to over-estimate the impact of WWII.
Losing a large percentage of the males in the general population.
Especially the dogmatically aggressive males.
Out of the gene pool.

Youth culture in Japan appears to be feminizing the young men. Which is weird.

[papasmurph]

I read that Japan has the highest per-capita consumption of pornography in the world.
So I take back what I said earlier about Americans having the best fantasy sex in the world.

On the other hand, have you seen Japanese porn?
Straight from the land of WTF.
Especially hentai, the animation:
incest, tranny, alien, child rape, animal, undead, tentacle, robot, and so on.

Obviously, I do not get Japanese culture.

It is impossible to over-estimate the impact of WWII.
Losing a large percentage of the males in the general population.
Especially the dogmatically aggressive males.
Out of the gene pool.

Youth culture in Japan appears to be feminizing the young men. Which is weird. that is too weird for me.

[Annika L]

Yes, I read that article, Papa. My take:
millenials grow up with a lot of sex-negative messages.
Females especially get bombed with nightmares about failed contraception, date rape, unplanned pregnancy, abortion, early motherhood/lost opportunities, diseases that last forever, etc. Nightmare stuff.
Boys grow up thinking that the average dick can be seen in pornos, and the average woman can be unlocked with magic words.
Both spend so much time on line that they evolve totally unrealistic expectations
regarding human bodies, sex organs, sexual acts, sexual relationships, etc.
Ridiculous expectations always lead to disappointments.
After enough disappointments, you take the easier path.

Say what you want about Americans, but we have the best fantasy sex in the world.

Totally agreed with everything here, except the implication (more the articles than yours) that this is a millennial thing.

I’ve been hit on by many men of many ages, and they *all* think (or speak as though they think) that a woman can be unlocked using magic words.

And from my childhood on, “nightmares about failed contraception, date rape, unplanned pregnancy, abortion, early motherhood/lost opportunities, diseases that last forever” were a steady part of the diet supplied to young women...different words were used to talk about it all, but those themes were heavily present. And not wrongly so, because those are all very clear and present dangers. The problem is that the only *sex-positive* messaging came from those guys trying to unlock women.

Thank the gods that I was/am an intelligent, inquisitive, independent thinker, who knows damned well what feels good, and who has an innate sense of who she likes and who she’s safe with (at least so far, I’ve been pretty good with assessing my safety). I was able to build my own damned positive messaging and incorporate it in with the cautions to form a reasonably balanced system. I feel for those who haven’t or couldn’t or were less fortunate.

[csreef]

Another point is this: Over the years I've come across more and more women who have said: I don't want children and a family, I want to have a career!

[Jazminedress]

they *all* think (or speak as though they think) that a woman can be unlocked using magic words.

.

So,a re you saying my pick up lines dont work ?

damn, there goes plan A

[querty]

This is the type of forum topic I have missed from this site for the last few years. Good to see if coming back around.

I have two millennials, a girl and a boy. We have always had frank, open, respectful discussions about sex and sexuality. I had one, and only one, conversation with my parents about sex. The "birds and the bees". Well, two if you count the lecture I got when mom caught me and my GF going at it.

Where I think my kids are fortunate is that their generation does not suffer from the deeply rooted intolerance of anything but pure heterosexual behavior and relationships that mine did, at least in our area. It's just not a dimension that most of them care much about. I am hopeful that for their kids, a persons sexual preferences will be about as important as the color of their eyes.

Not sure about the frequency thing. That we haven't talked alot about. Mostly it's been about the changing attitudes about the woman's role towards empowerment. My impression is they and their circle have a fair amount of sex.

[CurEUs_Male]

Sure, we all had horror stories about sex, hell I came of age just when HIV was starting to infect people, and my sex education had already been screwed up. HIV made it a death sentence. Did this affect people? Yes, of course, just as planned.

There is a much broader set of information these days, and among the kink, poly and swing communities, a lot more knowledge has made things a lot better. I know a lot more people having sex, and lots of it, than I did when I was in my 20's.

I was just listening to a pod cast today (out of Ireland) which referenced a NYT article last summer about the same statistics - less sex today than a generation ago.

Which leads to a question - where and how did they get to a set of people to answer the poll? In a lot or research, we see college age, single people because colleges run research and they ask other college aged people to answer questions.

I know a few women that want more out of relationships. Perhaps the idea they had to settle for 25% of what they wanted in the past is just that - the past. They are empowered to find the gems among men (few and far between from my searches). I see a lot more ugly things in hookup culture and I don't know many (any?) women that ant that anonymous, no word, hookup in a restroom. If some of the men I have met had the same determination to wait for something better and honest, perhaps we'd all be in a better place.

[Annika L]

Another point is this: Over the years I've come across more and more women who have said: I don't want children and a family, I want to have a career!

How do you see this relating to the amount of sex people are having? I can’t believe parents have more sex than childless people. And a strong woman who knows what she wants would seem to me to be a strong contender for demanding and ensuring a healthy sex life.

[monaohio]

It never ceases to amaze me how Puritanical Americans are when it comes to sex.
sex is not the only thing america is that way america is that way about nudity also

[playful808]

I like sex. Got fixed in my 20s.

No kids, no regrets, very rich sex life.

[csreef]

sex is not the only thing america is that way america is that way about nudity also

Interesting. . . I never thought about nudity. . . Good point!

[csreef]

sex is not the only thing america is that way america is that way about nudity also

I worked with a man who was stationed in Germany, for the US Military. He said that at lunchtime, the German people would go to the great lawn of the local church, take off their clothes,

leaving on their underwear, and sunbathe. He said you couldn't stop and gawk or leer at them. You couldn't do this in America.