We’re any of you molested by an older man? [Archive]

Greenie1

Jan 1, 2019, 12:33 PM

Yes, it is an interesting topic, not always pleasant, depending on point of view. The first question, yes, I was molested by three older men when I was young. The first two were my grand father and my uncle. I was 4-5 years old, and really did not understand totally what was going on. Thinking about it when I was much older, I figured my grand father had probably been playing with me at very, very early ages. My uncle was a one time thing.

Then later on, when I was roughly 8-9, I had a paper route, and one of my customers was an old guy, probably in his very late 60’s. I recall very well a day when I was delivering his paper, I always put his paper in the door. As I came up to the door he was sitting in his chair that faced the door. The main door was open, just the screen door, and as I walked up to put the paper in the door, I looked, he was sitting in his chair with his pants off rubbing his cock. I just froze, could not move. He got up quickly and came to the door, opened it quickly and pulled me inside. I couldn’t yell, run, do anything. He closed the door behind us, and told me he would tell my father and mother if I told on him. I lived in a very small town, the thought of it all scared me to death!

He had hold of my arm my arm and pulled me to his chair. He sat down and continued to masturbate himself while holding me in place. Then he told me to “kiss” his cock and he directed my head down to him. He held me firmly there, and told me to suck him like a lollipop. I tried to pull away a few times, but his grasp was too much. I was a small, skinny kid, and he could do whatever he wanted. As he pushed my head down on him, he more or less humped my face and soon came on me. It was disgusting and no, I did not enjoy it at all, it terrified me. He quickly wiped me up, and told me to leave, and that if I told, he would get me. At that age, it was simply scary, terrifying, and scarring. I had that route until I was 16, and I hated him.

At about age 11, my best friends older brother also would have me spend the night on occasion. We were pretty good friends, and so we all played together, rode bikes, all that kid stuff. The older brother had me over one night for a sleep over. We were on the couch watching TV late into the night, his parents had long gone to bed. While we were laying there, he kind of started fooling around with himself under his pajamas. He asked me if I wanted to “hook dicks”, that one of his other good friends would do it with him and it felt good. I was very wary, and apprehensive about it, but we did. He played with me and I just let it happen. This type of thing went on for a couple of months when I would stay over, and while I thought it was odd, also thought it was just the type of thing kids did, which I always thought odd, especially after what I had gone through with the old man. Yet, this was different, it was with my buddy, my friend, not some nasty old man. Strange how your mind thinks at younger ages.

This behavior continued, and soon graduated to not just rubbing each other’s cocks, but soon to sucking each other, although I was the one that was kind of gently forced or coaxed into doing most of the sucking. This also branched to his friend, as sometimes we would have a few of us sleep over. Not long after, it including them fucking me, I pretty much became their little user-boy. At first it scared me, and made me feel very uneasy. I guess in time though, I learned to like it, to go with the flow, as usually, I too, got some attention, and would get to cum on occasion too. Yes, I feared getting caught, yes, at times I was confused still, it all did not make a lot of sense, but I learned to just enjoy it. It was expected of me.

All that ended probably when when I was around 14-15, when he moved. The sad part about all of it is that I was just one very confused young guy. I was supposed to like girls, I was supposed to date them, to have fun with them. Yes, I thought girls were cute, and I wanted to be normal. While I didn’t think guys were cute or hot or anything else-still don’t for that matter-my sexual boundaries had been compromised in many ways. It alters how you think, how you feel, and just flat out confused me to no end. I had trouble with relationships with girls I tried to date, it was confusing what to do. Needless to say, I didn’t have many girlfriends growing up, and really just kept to myself.

i really wouldn’t date until I was in my late 20’s, and I still didn’t know how to be with a girl, yet I had sex with a couple of them by then. Since then, I have been married a couple of times, with not real good results, and in between one divorce, I did get with a couple of guys and enjoyed it from a sexual experience, and also mainly because it was something I allowed to happen, not being pressured or really, raped. It was my choice. From that perspective, I found sex with a guy to be enjoyable. Yet, I still do not find men attractive to me, and I do not feel as if I could have a relationship with one as a “couple” or marriage etc. It is more sexual for me with a guy. I still love woman though, find them very attractive, and love a woman’s body and their girly ways.

As as I have gotten older, I have been able to shed labels for myself. I grew up wondering if I was gay, was I this or that. In the end, I think I am just a sexual being, and I do not need to label myself, or anyone else for that matter! Yes, I do think my early experiences did mould me, they changed who I am to some degree, they definitely took any sexual boundary I might have had for myself growing up away. Do I think it has made me bisexual? Or altered who I might have become? Really, that could be the question for many of us I suppose, about like how long is a piece of string. These days, I just try to focus on what is good in my life, and try to just treat others with respect and how I would like to be treated. It doesn’t matter now how I feel from a sexual perspective so much anymore. I went through a lot of anger, and sometimes still do. But, I continue to strive to move past those ugly things of my past. This is just me, and how I feel. Obviously, we all have our own story to tell, and our own demons to vanquish or leave lay. How we deal with things are very individualistic. One day at a time is my motto.

Sorry this was wordy, but there you go. Happy New Year to all, may it be better than the last! Greenie

Tight1-4u

Jan 1, 2019, 2:16 PM

[QUOTE=Borntosuckcock;321953]WeÂ’re you ever molested by an older person when you were young and surprised that you really liked it and wanted more? Do you think that first early contact made you bisexual?[/QUOTE.

I am not going to say that I was molested but yes an older person did start things off for me.. my cousin 3 years older than me started things by beating off in front of me and that led to him touching me and then me him.. he stroked me then me him.. that led to sucking and soon I was sucking him all the time.. then on sleep overs we slept naked to gather.. we would stroke each other and I would suck him.. then we would cuddle up naked and go to sleep.. one night when I was like 14 after I had sucked on him a while he rolled me over on my stomach and rubbed oil all over my ass and in my crack finding my hole.. he rubbed it a lot.. then he got on top of me and speed my cheeks and put his cock in my crack and humps me no penitration just bumping.. I remember I liked it.. that was also the first time he kissed me.. he got so excited he shot cum all over my ass.. we continued doing this for about 2 months until one night he had snuck in my bedroom window and was humping me that he lined things up and pushed the head of his dick inside of me.. I donÂ’t remember any pain just that it was different.. he then pushed all the way in me.. I remember that I was kinda confused but liked it.. then he started fucking me.. slow at first but faster and faster and deeper soon after that.. soon I was pushing back and driving him deeper in to me.. I started moaning and begging him keep going.. he rode me for what seemed like a good while.. then he pulled out and cum all over my ass and back.. I had never seen that much cum.. he fucked me regular for the next 3 years.. yes I loved it even craved it.. yes it changed me.. I still love cock!! DonÂ’t get me wrong.. I am romantically attracted to women.. but sexually attracted to men.. I still today look back fondly to those days.. and am glad he showed me the way!!

stonebow

Jan 1, 2019, 2:34 PM

A very frank and inciteful comment, Greenie....and one to which I can relate. I was also molested at about age 6. It was an older boy at my school and no, I certainly did not enjoy it. I felt guilt that I didn't resist harder, dirty for the things I'd been made to do...and far too ashamed to ever speak of it to anyone. Like in your case however, a later encounter with another boy...this time consensual... showed me that it didn't have to be like that. I realized that it wasn't always about somebody bigger taking what they wanted...that it could be a comforting, playful, trusting sort of thing. I guess that stuck in the back of my mind as I grew and once I began having sexual fantasies and masturbating frequently I would sometimes remember that second boy and use the memory to get off.

That left me feeling a bit of guilt but really hardly more than what I felt when I'd jerk off thinking about girls. What REALLY confused and scared me was when I began to think about that first boy...in somewhat the same way. I'd imagine running into him at the skating rink next door to the school and cornering him in the men's room. There I wouldn't exact revenge for my earlier torment...though not in the manner you might expect. No, I'd approach him and say "Remember me?...well THIS should jog your memory!" at which point I'd reach for his crotch and massage his dick through his pants. Certain that he wouldn't object now, I'd drop to my knees, unzip him and start to blow him. Between sucks I'd say "This is what you made me. This is who I am now. Happy with your handiwork?"

I don't know if I thought that would make him feel remorse for what he'd done previously but in my mind it was retribution of a sort. THAT was a very confusing thing..and as I said, frightening. I'd jerk off thinking about that and after cumming I'd be honestly questioning my own sanity! It took a very long time and a lot of experiences to give me the emotional distance to make sense of it. My first marriage failed due in large part to my still unresolved feelings about my sexuality. All during the long slow decline, I had occasion to explore my same sex urges...usually with unsatisfying results.

A couple of nights spent with a bi couple in which he, she and I all enjoyed each other equally was a foretaste of what awaited me once I met my current lady. She's an artist..and French and while it may be a cliche...characteristically open minded! She introduced me to her circle of FWBs and before long I was a full fledged member of this polyamorous little group. It was a boyfriend of hers that took my anal cherry...on my 47th birthday, no less!

Meeting my spouse was the catalyst I needed to finally resolve all the conflicting emotions I'd had growing up, though that too didn't occur overnight. I was still puzzled over those earlier fantasies of my childhood tormentor. After a lot of reading and meeting and talking with people who shared their stories, I've gotten the idea that the mind is a very resilient thing with many mechanisms for protecting itself. Just as we initially feel shame for an act perpetrated against us, as if the action were of our choosing....we will later indulge in the same acts and thus "own" the act itself. Nothing that is OF us can harm us and so the memory of abuse is made less painful. That is...or so I believe..why those who are abused often become abusers in later life. The fact that I relive some of the same things FORCED upon me as a child but now only with consenting partners because I had the experience of doing so consentually with the second boy...is what kept me from becoming an abuser.

So in answer to the question "Did it make me bi?" I'd have to say it opened a door, but that I only "became'' bi when I finally embraced my urges. As with our taste in music, food, sports, hobbies and so on...anything we're exposed to in childhood goes toward shaping who we ultimately become. It's up to us to do so conscientiously and with compassion toward those we play with. Congratulations Greenie for doing just that.

southpittsburghbi

Jan 1, 2019, 5:40 PM

I was 18 but my 1st male partner was in his 40s. Does that count?

Greenie1

Jan 1, 2019, 6:44 PM

Thank you stonebow, your post is quite interesting, and I feel much of what was said, spot on. Yes, we are quite resilient in many ways, and while I still have my moments, and maybe all will never be totally resolved in my mind, how we deal and cope certainly has a lot to do with healing and moving on in a positive way. Thanks for your post!

cornholejoe

Jan 2, 2019, 5:06 PM

i had a married bisexual friend who was sexually abused by his uncle and his friends from the time he was 12 years old so years later after he got married would having sex with her daddy and brothers

Coastocoast

Jan 3, 2019, 1:05 AM

Yes and no, I did not enjoy an older trusted adult grabbing me by the ears and fucking my mouth until he popped off it it. He made me puke because he was so far into my throat, made me clean it up and told me he would tell my parents I initiated it if I told. I was 10 he was 30 something. I never again had ANY contact or inclination towards guys until I was in my 30's. I got asked to take a guy home from a pool party that I knew of in my circle of friends. He got too drunk to drive and the host asked me to give him a lift. He make a move and grabbed my cock while I was driving up his driveway in a dangerous hillside area. I was going to kick his ass when I got the car stopped, he got his face heading towards my crotch. He had his hand up the workout shorts I was wearing and realized I got hard from his hand. In a split second decision I thought what the hell, I was horny and leaned the seat back when we stopped. He sucked me, played with my balls and ass with his hand without penetrating me but it was good. I had nothing but bad memories about the one cock in my mouth, but have never allowed a woman to go down on me without being willing to reciprocate. As I was getting closer to cumming decided I was going to have to suck him and if he let me cum in his mouth I was going to have to do the same. In a few minutes I went from something so far from my mind for 20+ years to cold reality. I blew the mother of all loads in his mouth, he swallowed it all. I took a deep breath, resigned my fate and decided I would make the best of it and started moving towards him and got my hand on his shorts. He said no thanks, went in the house and left me wondering. I got married, divorced without another event but after my divorce had a best friends with benefits develop that lasted a year until he moved. No it did not make me bisexual, far from it, I was completely turned off by it. I have made peace with the situation and my being bisexual has really nothing to do with the incident which was traumatic and not enjoyable. I do enjoy a one on one situation with a single guy and would love to duplicate it.

xp243

Jan 3, 2019, 5:02 AM

We’re you ever molested by an older person when you were young and surprised that you really liked it and wanted more? Do you think that first early contact made you bisexual?
Yes and I always wondered how it would feel to be 100% straight.

nycleisure

Jan 3, 2019, 6:59 AM

Living in NYC, in the summer, using the roof as a tar beach was common. I was 12 y.o. and already 5' 9" sun bathing on a blanket and reading when the 22 y.o. super's son came up. After asking if I liked girls he showed me several pics of nude girls. After a few moments, he asked if the pics were making me hard. Indicating that I was, he said let me check, and he started rubbing my hardening cock thru my swimming trunks. As it felt good and I wanted to still look at the tits and pussys, I let him continue. It didn't take him long to move his hand up under the short's leg and stroke my now very hard 7" cock. It felt amazing to havde someone else's hand and I just laid back and enjoyed. Not realizing that within moments, my cock would be fully out in the sun. I watched his face light up in delight. Especially as he lowered his head and licked the tip. He quickly sucked the shaft into his hungry mouth. It took him only a minute or two to make me explode and suck my cum down his throat. Over the following 2 years, till he moved, i enjoyed his talented toungue and mouth several more times.

gale_mn

Jan 3, 2019, 9:31 AM

I had one tryed but was run off

DareMe

Jan 3, 2019, 12:01 PM

Oh dear Greenie. It feels like you could use a hug.

Have you tried to seek professional help. It does seem like you did a great job in managing the "baggage" of your past.

The one thing I notice is that you talk about anger. Do you still feel angry?

Have a great new and happy new year.

DM

Yes, it is an interesting topic, not always pleasant, depending on point of view. The first question, yes, I was molested by three older men when I was young. The first two were my grand father and my uncle. I was 4-5 years old, and really did not understand totally what was going on. Thinking about it when I was much older, I figured my grand father had probably been playing with me at very, very early ages. My uncle was a one time thing.

Then later on, when I was roughly 8-9, I had a paper route, and one of my customers was an old guy, probably in his very late 60’s. I recall very well a day when I was delivering his paper, I always put his paper in the door. As I came up to the door he was sitting in his chair that faced the door. The main door was open, just the screen door, and as I walked up to put the paper in the door, I looked, he was sitting in his chair with his pants off rubbing his cock. I just froze, could not move. He got up quickly and came to the door, opened it quickly and pulled me inside. I couldn’t yell, run, do anything. He closed the door behind us, and told me he would tell my father and mother if I told on him. I lived in a very small town, the thought of it all scared me to death!

He had hold of my arm my arm and pulled me to his chair. He sat down and continued to masturbate himself while holding me in place. Then he told me to “kiss” his cock and he directed my head down to him. He held me firmly there, and told me to suck him like a lollipop. I tried to pull away a few times, but his grasp was too much. I was a small, skinny kid, and he could do whatever he wanted. As he pushed my head down on him, he more or less humped my face and soon came on me. It was disgusting and no, I did not enjoy it at all, it terrified me. He quickly wiped me up, and told me to leave, and that if I told, he would get me. At that age, it was simply scary, terrifying, and scarring. I had that route until I was 16, and I hated him.

At about age 11, my best friends older brother also would have me spend the night on occasion. We were pretty good friends, and so we all played together, rode bikes, all that kid stuff. The older brother had me over one night for a sleep over. We were on the couch watching TV late into the night, his parents had long gone to bed. While we were laying there, he kind of started fooling around with himself under his pajamas. He asked me if I wanted to “hook dicks”, that one of his other good friends would do it with him and it felt good. I was very wary, and apprehensive about it, but we did. He played with me and I just let it happen. This type of thing went on for a couple of months when I would stay over, and while I thought it was odd, also thought it was just the type of thing kids did, which I always thought odd, especially after what I had gone through with the old man. Yet, this was different, it was with my buddy, my friend, not some nasty old man. Strange how your mind thinks at younger ages.

This behavior continued, and soon graduated to not just rubbing each other’s cocks, but soon to sucking each other, although I was the one that was kind of gently forced or coaxed into doing most of the sucking. This also branched to his friend, as sometimes we would have a few of us sleep over. Not long after, it including them fucking me, I pretty much became their little user-boy. At first it scared me, and made me feel very uneasy. I guess in time though, I learned to like it, to go with the flow, as usually, I too, got some attention, and would get to cum on occasion too. Yes, I feared getting caught, yes, at times I was confused still, it all did not make a lot of sense, but I learned to just enjoy it. It was expected of me.

All that ended probably when when I was around 14-15, when he moved. The sad part about all of it is that I was just one very confused young guy. I was supposed to like girls, I was supposed to date them, to have fun with them. Yes, I thought girls were cute, and I wanted to be normal. While I didn’t think guys were cute or hot or anything else-still don’t for that matter-my sexual boundaries had been compromised in many ways. It alters how you think, how you feel, and just flat out confused me to no end. I had trouble with relationships with girls I tried to date, it was confusing what to do. Needless to say, I didn’t have many girlfriends growing up, and really just kept to myself.

i really wouldn’t date until I was in my late 20’s, and I still didn’t know how to be with a girl, yet I had sex with a couple of them by then. Since then, I have been married a couple of times, with not real good results, and in between one divorce, I did get with a couple of guys and enjoyed it from a sexual experience, and also mainly because it was something I allowed to happen, not being pressured or really, raped. It was my choice. From that perspective, I found sex with a guy to be enjoyable. Yet, I still do not find men attractive to me, and I do not feel as if I could have a relationship with one as a “couple” or marriage etc. It is more sexual for me with a guy. I still love woman though, find them very attractive, and love a woman’s body and their girly ways.

As as I have gotten older, I have been able to shed labels for myself. I grew up wondering if I was gay, was I this or that. In the end, I think I am just a sexual being, and I do not need to label myself, or anyone else for that matter! Yes, I do think my early experiences did mould me, they changed who I am to some degree, they definitely took any sexual boundary I might have had for myself growing up away. Do I think it has made me bisexual? Or altered who I might have become? Really, that could be the question for many of us I suppose, about like how long is a piece of string. These days, I just try to focus on what is good in my life, and try to just treat others with respect and how I would like to be treated. It doesn’t matter now how I feel from a sexual perspective so much anymore. I went through a lot of anger, and sometimes still do. But, I continue to strive to move past those ugly things of my past. This is just me, and how I feel. Obviously, we all have our own story to tell, and our own demons to vanquish or leave lay. How we deal with things are very individualistic. One day at a time is my motto.

Sorry this was wordy, but there you go. Happy New Year to all, may it be better than the last! Greenie

Basin_Bouy

Jan 3, 2019, 12:07 PM

No, but I was sexually abused by my Mother. last time I was around 12 years old. I consider myself as Bisexual, and my preference is Men older to me (I'm 58)

DareMe

Jan 3, 2019, 12:48 PM

I have a lot of trouble considering that past traumatic experience same sex experience "made" someone gay or bi. I think there needs to be a clear delineation line on what is acceptable and what is not acceptable.

An older man, forcing a young boy to suck his dick and threatening to tell his parents is simply not OK.

Now, the gray zones.

A 12 year old boy and a 16 year old experimenting at playing "doctor". That could just be simple experimentation.

It is so hard to judge, specifically when both parties are willing but have a greater than 7 years difference.

The questions is, would such an experience have "made" someone more attracted to men?
Respectfully, I don't think so.

Most of us fall somewhere in between 100% gay and 100% straight (use the kinsey scale 0-6).

many studies have been done. One clear fiding is that, there is less social stigma on gay or bisexual relationships, especially among Millenials.

lovtoplay123

Jan 3, 2019, 2:19 PM

no I was no

marine20

Jan 3, 2019, 4:14 PM

kevin , could you give us the whole story of your mom. it seems that you are not alone. i have talked with several men who seemed to enjoy it
No, but I was sexually abused by my Mother. last time I was around 12 years old. I consider myself as Bisexual, and my preference is Men older to me (I'm 58)

Greenie1

Jan 3, 2019, 4:28 PM

DareMe, yes, I have gone to counseling several times, some it was during my divorce, and also it touched on many aspects of just me, this included my abuse. In the end, it really didn’t help much, more stirred things up.

I do still have some anger, but it is probably more due to my own parents naive ways about things when I was younger, and also always feeling like I could not speak frankly to them about anything. Part was because my father was a minister, and it just was an awkward situation always. It is a long story, and I won’t go into it all here, but there you go.

As a whole, I feel like I do pretty well with things, but sure, once one has gone through these things, at times it does make you wonder just how you might have been without the abuse. And that too is something I could talk for hours on and how I feel it might have affected me. Do I think it made me bisexual-or as I do not particularly like those labels, given me more interest in MM sexuality, no, not really, but do I know that for a fact? No, never will. But I must embrace me and who I am, and that is okay!

The difficult part part is being married to a wonderful woman, and while she understands where I have been and all the ugly details of it, she also realizes that it could be easier for me to stray or have those desires, and that isn’t easy or maybe fair for her either. It is tough at times, and we have had conversations over it, there just isn’t a clear cut answer to any of it.

Thanks for your comments, I appreciate it!

jem_is_bi

Jan 3, 2019, 10:18 PM

I was never molested by an older man.
If I had been molested, it would have reduced the effect of the socialization I was immersed in to be straight.
I would likely be gay now rather than bisexual.

csreef

Jan 3, 2019, 10:42 PM

I hate to say this, but I think we are all "Damaged goods" in some way. :2cents:

bithunder

Jan 4, 2019, 9:29 AM

I hate to say this, but I think we are all "Damaged goods" in some way. :2cents:
No, I have never been molested by anyone of any age and truly have empathy for their feelings. But I take offense at being labelled "damaged goods". I have lived a good life, contributed to society, paid taxes, stayed out of jail, raised healthy and good kids and support my family. I also dearly love going to bed with men as well as women - it harms no one. I'm happy and healthy.

SilkyHoseLover

Jan 4, 2019, 11:49 AM

I have lived a good life, contributed to society, paid taxes, stayed out of jail, raised healthy and good kids and support my family. I also dearly love going to bed with men as well as women - it harms no one. I'm happy and healthy.

Hear! Hear!!

This exactly describes me, and, I hope, many others on this forum! We are good people and we like what we like. Couldn't change it if I wanted to!

jem_is_bi

Jan 4, 2019, 10:12 PM

Nothing wrong with being damaged goods.
Yes, some of the damage lasts a lifetime.
However, suffering damage builds character and has the potential to make you/me a better person.
I think I have weathered the damage well and have had a happy and very productive life.
I am certain damage suffered by me has made me a better person as well as being bisexual.

pete7

Jan 5, 2019, 1:02 AM

i was not

cslutt

Jan 6, 2019, 12:28 AM

I usually molested my uncles, granddad, dad, cousins, strangers, friends of the above-mentioned, and anyone else who wanted me to play with them..... and loved every minute of it!

borntosuckcock

Jan 6, 2019, 11:23 AM

That was my experience, I was always the aggressor. At 8 or9, I knew I wanted to suck cocks of older men that I’d see at the public swimming pool showers.

J-O-S, Michael

Jan 6, 2019, 2:25 PM

I was 11 and he was 14. And the next year was me sucking his dick a couple of times a week.

a2smith09

Jan 7, 2019, 12:32 PM

I usually molested my uncles, granddad, dad, cousins, strangers, friends of the above-mentioned, and anyone else who wanted me to play with them..... and loved every minute of it!
Yeah can you really say it was molestation when you were an instigator or willing participant? I had sex with older males frequently but none of it wasn't consensual.

Cumseeker

Jan 7, 2019, 3:16 PM

I was not. As I look through some of the stories (that may be fiction, may not be fiction) I wonder what would would I done had those things happened to me. Later, after I had been fucking a neighbor girl and had fucked a 40-year old woman I had no interest in men or boys at all. I expect, had I not had heterosexual experience at age 12 and 13 (the 13 age was when I fucked the 40-year old!) I might have found an interest in boys and their cocks. I did not learn about having my ass fucked and sucking and swallowing cum until I was 59 years old! I've loved it ever since.

stonebow

Jan 9, 2019, 8:55 PM

hung4you

Jan 12, 2019, 5:18 AM

Growing up I was exposed to being taught that any sex was good sex. My buddies and I circle jerked, my older brothers showed me how to jack off and the pleasures of cumming. When I went to collage I kept my open mind and participated in both male and female sex. Loved it all, except something deep inside me always loved getting a man off. Now in the present my wife and I share our bed with some friends of mine and I must say that licking their dicks after they have fucked my wife is the highlight of my day.

My wife is in awe as she thinks it’s hot that we can share our bed and have as much fun as we have even after 30 plus years of marriage. Growing up I tasted my 1st load at the tender age of 15, since then I have swallowed many men and absolutely no regrets.

sysper

Jan 12, 2019, 12:24 PM

very good point about someone choosing to repeat a traumatic experiance in order to convince themselves they "own" that experiance. i wanna point out, another thing people do is to blame...the victim! these people on the outside can't see something could be so traumatic because they have convinced themselves the victim wanted it all along & so they disrespect the victim because how dare they object to what happened if that's what they really wanted? granted this applies more to women who are victims of sexual violence not children but still.

A very frank and inciteful comment, Greenie....and one to which I can relate. I was also molested at about age 6. It was an older boy at my school and no, I certainly did not enjoy it. I felt guilt that I didn't resist harder, dirty for the things I'd been made to do...and far too ashamed to ever speak of it to anyone. Like in your case however, a later encounter with another boy...this time consensual... showed me that it didn't have to be like that. I realized that it wasn't always about somebody bigger taking what they wanted...that it could be a comforting, playful, trusting sort of thing. I guess that stuck in the back of my mind as I grew and once I began having sexual fantasies and masturbating frequently I would sometimes remember that second boy and use the memory to get off.

That left me feeling a bit of guilt but really hardly more than what I felt when I'd jerk off thinking about girls. What REALLY confused and scared me was when I began to think about that first boy...in somewhat the same way. I'd imagine running into him at the skating rink next door to the school and cornering him in the men's room. There I wouldn't exact revenge for my earlier torment...though not in the manner you might expect. No, I'd approach him and say "Remember me?...well THIS should jog your memory!" at which point I'd reach for his crotch and massage his dick through his pants. Certain that he wouldn't object now, I'd drop to my knees, unzip him and start to blow him. Between sucks I'd say "This is what you made me. This is who I am now. Happy with your handiwork?"

I don't know if I thought that would make him feel remorse for what he'd done previously but in my mind it was retribution of a sort. THAT was a very confusing thing..and as I said, frightening. I'd jerk off thinking about that and after cumming I'd be honestly questioning my own sanity! It took a very long time and a lot of experiences to give me the emotional distance to make sense of it. My first marriage failed due in large part to my still unresolved feelings about my sexuality. All during the long slow decline, I had occasion to explore my same sex urges...usually with unsatisfying results.

A couple of nights spent with a bi couple in which he, she and I all enjoyed each other equally was a foretaste of what awaited me once I met my current lady. She's an artist..and French and while it may be a cliche...characteristically open minded! She introduced me to her circle of FWBs and before long I was a full fledged member of this polyamorous little group. It was a boyfriend of hers that took my anal cherry...on my 47th birthday, no less!

Meeting my spouse was the catalyst I needed to finally resolve all the conflicting emotions I'd had growing up, though that too didn't occur overnight. I was still puzzled over those earlier fantasies of my childhood tormentor. After a lot of reading and meeting and talking with people who shared their stories, I've gotten the idea that the mind is a very resilient thing with many mechanisms for protecting itself. Just as we initially feel shame for an act perpetrated against us, as if the action were of our choosing....we will later indulge in the same acts and thus "own" the act itself. Nothing that is OF us can harm us and so the memory of abuse is made less painful. That is...or so I believe..why those who are abused often become abusers in later life. The fact that I relive some of the same things FORCED upon me as a child but now only with consenting partners because I had the experience of doing so consentually with the second boy...is what kept me from becoming an abuser.

So in answer to the question "Did it make me bi?" I'd have to say it opened a door, but that I only "became'' bi when I finally embraced my urges. As with our taste in music, food, sports, hobbies and so on...anything we're exposed to in childhood goes toward shaping who we ultimately become. It's up to us to do so conscientiously and with compassion toward those we play with. Congratulations Greenie for doing just that.

Curious me

Jan 14, 2019, 9:14 PM

I've never been molested or had anything bad happen to me. I just realized one day as a young masturbating teen that I literally LOVED my dick and what it did, how it came, that I wanted to be outside of myself and suck it, swallow it, have sex with a male body as well. As soon as I wished that I could step outside myself and have sex with me I knew I had a degree of homosexual tendencies about myself. It wasn't always easy but I SOLIDLY embrace it now. I love my sexuality. I feel that it's better that many other's. Don't EVER feel ashamed of this!

ohbimale

Jan 15, 2019, 6:25 PM

No I was not. I did lust after both genders when I started my teenage years. So I think I was born this way.

NakedInSeattle

Jan 18, 2019, 1:17 AM

Dad would come on to me when he was drunk...about 16. Only lasted for a bit till he and mom split up. Just kissing and stroking but I think it made me who and what I am.

JasonS

Jan 20, 2019, 11:19 AM

No I wasn't

KDaddy23

Feb 7, 2019, 4:06 PM

Yeah can you really say it was molestation when you were an instigator or willing participant? I had sex with older males frequently but none of it wasn't consensual.

This is a good point, isn't it? An older guy introduced me to dick when I was nine and I participated willingly... and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. Now, did he molest me? Technically, yes, although I learned later on that at the time, the legal age of consent where I lived was 10 years old (and it's been upgraded to 18 since then); did he force me to have sex with him? No, he didn't. So while one can talk about the legalities of such a thing, it still begs the question that if you don't have a reason to believe that you were molested - you did so willingly and at a time where most people would think that you didn't know what you were doing (and they're wrong about that) or you even instigated it - were you really molested?

I'm not saying it's right - I just question whether or not being a willing participant or instigator really constitutes being molested, which we generally accept as being made to have sex against one's will or engaging in sex with someone who isn't legally able to consent to sex. The law says that until you're 18, you cannot legally consent to have sex; yet, a whole lot of us started having sex way before being legally able to do so and, again, it's always been assumed that someone who is, say, 10 or 11, doesn't know shit about having sex... and that's not the truth of things.

I've had people tell me that I was molested and I should just admit to it... and that's based on the way things are now and not how they were for me back in 1964. What those folks don't know is why I said yes to him to begin with - and that's because as a present for my 8th birthday, a girl taught me some shit about pussy and I loved it and wanted to know more about this sex thing everyone was saying was good and bad and all the other stuff adults said about it so when he asked, I was more than eager to say yes.

And it was good... but was I molested? Some say yes, and I've never felt that way. The thing is that I'm not ashamed that I got introduced the way I did and I'd never lie and say that I didn't enjoy any of it... because I did. It's just a thing that, sometimes, the very bad and immoral thing we think happened didn't really happen; we think that youngsters are totally clueless about sex and are incapable of doing something like instigating sex with someone much older than they are... and that, too, isn't the real truth - it's just a truth society cannot accept and always seeks to rage against. And, finally - and I know this is long - I point to a case that happened here where a guy got four life sentences for "molesting" a girl not legally able to consent to sex.

She admitted, in court and under oath, that she instigated the whole thing and that she knew exactly what she was doing and why she seduced and fucked the guy - and it was because she was in love with him - and the court/jury pretty much disregarded her sworn and documented testimony and that guy is gonna die in prison (if someone hasn't killed him already). They said that there's no way she was capable of such a thing and that he was at fault and instigated her molestation; they were looking for the truth, heard it, and ignored it in favor of what they thought and, again, the law saying that one cannot consent to sex until they were, at the time, 16; it was the case that got the age limit changed to 18.

Was she molested... or was she "guilty" of molesting him? You decide. I'm just saying truthfully that what one might think as molestation may not be the case every single time. Now, flame away if you want to.

jem_is_bi

Feb 8, 2019, 10:19 PM

I was never molested by an older man. If it was not for the fear of extreme punishment if caught, I would have been an instigator and willing participant in sex with an older man from age 5 to 15. After that I developed a desire for female companionship which suppressed (not eliminated) my desires for sex with men.

69luvr

Feb 9, 2019, 9:56 AM

Yes my next door neighbor set me up by having his wife lie around the backyard in a bikini. She had a great figure and I loved looking at her. One day in their pool I was looking at her and was hot and horny. He "accidentally" brushed his hand on my cock. I did nothing except look at her. Soon we were in an upstairs bedroom overlooking the pool area. She took her top off when we went up stairs. That was too much for me. I was all of 13 and they were in their mid 20's. Soon I became aware of his hand on my cock and I loved it. Soon it was in his mouth and I loved it. Eventually she joined us and that was delightful. In time she confided in me that she loved girls. She'd take me to the mall on a Saturday afternoon so she could look at girls in tight sweaters!! Once she was hot shed blow me and made me play with her tits. I did as I was told!

Sigstache

Feb 17, 2019, 6:28 PM

Oops double post

Sigstache

Feb 17, 2019, 6:33 PM

Molested? Not sure how to answer that; I would say more of a willing accidental participant perhaps? Nextdoor neighbors nephew was visiting for a week during the summer. There wern't any other kids so we started palling around. I was 13ish and he was 15. We decided to have a sleepover and camped out in the RV in our backyard. We were doing the stay up late thing with flashlights, goofing off and running around in our boxers. Snooping around we found the golden egg: a few hustler and playboy mags stashed in the cabinet. As we flipped through the pages talking bout women, sex, (I was ignorant of it all) he wipped it out and started stroking. I was suprised, didnt know what he was doing. He said come'on you do it too! I didnt know what to do, so he suddenly reached over into my shorts, grabbed my dick and started slowly stroking me. I was caught off guard and a bit in shock but it felt so good his hand on my dick. I was lying there on my side facing him with the playboy mag between us, and him reaching over with his hand on my cock. I was wide eyed and flabbergasted but at the same time in ecstasy. A few seconds later I shuttered and convulsed to an orgasm.....something Id never felt before. Long story short we wound up doing a few more sleepovers and he showed me more cock play. Finally at one point he wanted to suck me off but I was uneasy bout that. I knew Id get talked into sucking him off in return and I wasnt ready for it. Few days later he went back home to his parents and I never heard from him again.

I fantasized about those nights off and on but not much. I was more straight than not and went on to chase girls and eventually got married/kids. However sometime in my late 30s the idea of sucking cock came on like a whirlwind and I started watching BJ (both gay and straight) porn a LOT. there was nothing made my dick harder than fantasizing bout getting naked with a guy amd swapping blowjobs, licking each others balls and letting him blow a load in my mouth. Problem is Ive never been able to find another married trustworthy guy to explore with. The ones who are cant meet regulary due to logistics (something all married guys suffer from).

Im starting to let go of the fantasy and just let the whole thing go. It'll prolly never happen and Im beginning to be OK with it.

To answer OPs question though, yes I think had that never happened in my early childhood Id never of considered m2m play an option.

MiamiRandy

Feb 18, 2019, 5:45 AM

Yes i was basically a country club latch key kid when a teacher in 6th grade, age 12, waited until the School year was almost over then started by feeling me up when i was "allowed" to run the projector giving me my first hard-on.

When i asked my parents what was going on, and what liquid came from my penis that was not pee. Then there was a big confrontation with the principal, vice principal, someone else i don't remember, and my parents and me. i had no idea what was going on except i thought i was in trouble and got switched to a more advanced class for the last month where i felt lost in the class work and confused by questions from my classmates as to why i was moved. What i learned from that was to keep my mouth shut as i was really traumatized by the entire reaction and consequences of asking what i thought was a simple question and that was the start of my need for humiliation that culminated with a paddeling and rape by a science teacher / gym coach the next year who was also the first person to make me ejaculate and to piss on me.

But before then, that summer we had a new swim coach for our Country Club swim team and i learned to give blow jobs and quickly found out the rest of the "liquid" story and began 4 years, all through Jr. High and the first year of High School, having sex with a series of teacher and 2 coaches that were part of what now would be called a pedofilia ring. When my parents finally found out the shipped me out to a co-ed boarding school.

Joboo

Feb 18, 2019, 3:37 PM

Yes and no. I had just turned 16 and was driving that summer. Last day of work and the guy I worked for said my check was left at the bank. He would go get it and meet me back at the office later. Business was closed and everyone was gone. He let me in and I followed him to the office. He had some porn mags laid out on his desk, it was early 70’s. He asked if I’d join him in a drink as he thanked me for being a good worker. I accepted and we sat and he started pointing out pictures in the magazines. He was married and had a daughter, good looking not much younger than me. Never suspected a thing till he pointed out a guy that was getting sucked off. He told he thought I looked like him and asked if my dick was like his. I just laughed a bit until he said “let me see it.”

i stood up and said I should probably get going and he followed me to the door saying “please let me just see it.” Then he began telling me about his college days. He was maybe 40 or so. He asked again and I hesitated as he pushed the door shut. I just said okay. He started on my Levi’s and had them down over my thighs as he took my soft little dick in his hand. I had been touched a lot by a guy my age, a friend so I wasn’t totally freaked.

I immediately began to stiffen and he was already on his knees so he began to suck me. I had been sucked by two girls I had fucked but not like this. The two girls didn’t intend for me to cum in their mouth so it was never close. In seconds I realized I was getting a fantastic blowjob and then he started sucking my balls. Oh my God, once he took me in his mouth again I could feel it coming and I pushed as deep as I could. I was shaking as I came and he continues to suck as I went soft. I must admit it was much better than the limited sex I had.

It it was all I could think about for days and it made me wonder about what it would be like to suck a dick. I always hoped my neighborhood friend would suck me but it was always a handjob.

So technically I was molested I guess but I wasn’t complaining. While driving home I kept wondering about his dick, I could see he was hard when he stood up and was sure it was much bigger than mine. Funny, he also told me he expected mine would be bigger when he finished. He was the first to say that but definitely not the last.

planettm

Feb 21, 2019, 8:26 PM

Yes I was. I was about 16 and hitchhiking when this guy stopped and picked me up. Ended up watching porn for the first time at his apt. and getting a fantastic bj almost to finish. Then he wanted me to poke him so I did cuz it was hard. Shot my wad and haven't been the same since. After that I kept going back and made $20 a visit and got some jollies. But I still like women too. good ole bobbie.

Realist

Feb 22, 2019, 1:08 AM

This is a very thought-provoking thread and it has me reminiscing my own history. There's some well-written and soul-stirring things written above! Thank you guys for sharing!

.......................

I think I must have been sexual-flexible since birth. Like most kids, I began innocently to explore. I chose a male cousin, first, because girls had cooties and I certainly didn't want to get 'em, too! At about 4, I remember doing some "show me yours and I will show you mine" games. Nothing was very inspiring, though, and he wasn't as interested as I was.

At about 5, I discovered that girls really didn't have cooties! This was the time when I met twins. The twins (a boy and girl) were the children of a client of my mother's. They took it upon themselves to broaden my horizons, by showing me the difference between girls and boys.

They encouraged me to touch and fondle them, which was great fun. They would climb a grapefruit tree and stand on a limb above me, then entice me to reach up their shorts, or skirt, and feel away! It was a learning process and a revelation to me. Up to that time, I took it for granted that we all had the same plumbing! Our visits didn't last long; Mom got a different job and I don't remember seeing the twins again.

Later, that same year, I was at a birthday party for a boy, who was in my Sunday School class. A group of us were standing around in the back yard, listening to a boy and girl arguing about who was the best kisser ...a girl, or boy?
I decided to find the answer to that question, myself, so I took the initiative and began kissing first willing person...a boy!

The timing was terrible, because my mother just happened to look through the back door, to see me locking lips with a cute little blond boy!

Before I knew it, I was snatched off my feet and drug into the house, then spanked with some vigor. Mom was saying, "Girls are for kissing, NOT BOYS!" She threatened to tell Dad, too, but if she had, I would have surely known it!

What that spanking did for me was; it made me realize that I had an inclination for things my parents didn't think was appropriate and, if I was going to continue doing them, I had better learn to be more secretive! I never stopped being drawn to both genders, but I did quickly develop covert Modus Operandi! In the future, my covert abilities would save my ass, on more than one occasion!

At about 8, I began a 4-year journey of enlightenment, with a female cousin and her neighbor's boy. With absolutely no knowledge about sex, we began to explore oral gratification, which generated my first recollections of erections. I feel retarded to admit I did not have an orgasm, during that time, and I don't think my cousin's neighbor did, either.

However, my cousin developed some odd behavior, that included some moaning and hip thrusting, during some of our naked play. As I recently told one member, the other boy and I decided she must have had epilepsy! We felt sorry for her, but regardless, continued to hone our oral skills with her and each other!

OK, what part of the above has anything to do with being molested? I'm building a story, here...be patient!

The fact is, I was never molested, as far as I'm concerned, by an older person.

(During the Summer, previous to my first year in military school, I did have consensual sex with a much older man, but I was the aggressor and it took me almost a year, to talk him into taking my virginity. The old guy was absolutely the best person I could have chosen to lea me into that phase of my life! I kept that secret for many years.)

My roommate, thinking I was a virgin, was delighted to "teach me the ropes".

The only unpleasant thing I can reveal here is.......one time, my roommate in military school, talked me into sucking him. He'd taught me how to masturbate and sucked me off a couple of times, before, and he was thinking it was time for me to reciprocate.

At first, I was eager to do it, but didn't realize how much bigger he was, than my first playmate, years before! Almost immediately I discovered severe discomfort; his cock was poking hard against the back of my throat.....it really gagged me!

Instead of backing off and giving me time to catch my breath, he grabbed my head and furiously fucked my mouth. I really thought he would asphyxiate me and I was going to die! I finally was able to grab his balls and began to squeeze them, just as he began to cum! Part went down my throat and part sprayed all over the place, but he did let me go!

When I finally got loose, we had a hell of a fight and I got a broken tooth and a black eye. He had a bloody lip and bit his tongue so badly that his mouth was filled with blood!

From then-on, I never wanted to be with anyone with a large cock and I had to know them well and trust them, before I'd be intimate with them. That's been my policy ever since.

I think I haven't had any guilt, or remorse about being bisexual, because I haven't endured being forced, or coerced into doing anything, like those above have. You all seem very aware of the past, but if there's any lasting effects, you all appear to have overcome them. I hope so, anyway.

I hope this discussion continues, as it's good, sometimes, to reveal things that bug you!

BottomCruiser

Feb 23, 2019, 12:26 AM

My dad kinda molested me when I was 8-9. But I was already given that treatment from 'alpha' boys at school. I liked how it felt so i let them lol. I wasn't attracted to my dad that way tho and would definitely not let him pull my shorts down. My dad never pushed it though and I never resented him for it. But both the boys and my dad verified my role when I have sex with men and I really like being approached like I was when I was little.

I've always had fantasies of having like a bearish step-dad similar to the men I sleep with, and wonder if I would let him touch me deeper. I would have let an older guy who saved me at the beach molest me. he carried me on his arms and i instinctively gave him signals but he didn't. Bottoms who are more feminine almost always get some form of molestation from either other boys at school who 'notice' us, older men, or both. But I think the whole older man fetish will fade away soon. Unfortunately.

JasonS

Feb 23, 2019, 10:22 AM

Thankfully that never happened to me.

dmBINC

Apr 2, 2019, 3:14 PM

Yes I was at a very young age, and enjoyed it as I recall. It was gentle etc and pleasurable but still, molesting a 4-5 year old sucks in the worst way. According to my therapist, the current thinking among those who study this issue is that this type of experience doesn't make you gay or bi; that's innate.

NjbiGuy01

Apr 4, 2019, 10:23 AM

In the late 70’s an old dude on the train offered me fifty bucks to suck my dick. I was maybe 19 or 20. I kinda freaked out and passed on it. Fifty bucks was decent cash too back then... but he was literally a creepy old guy...yuck.

Grant_Norman

Apr 4, 2019, 12:14 PM

Never molested or molested anyone, but as early as 5 years-old I loved playing with my cock and I really don't think I would've minded someone playing with it or sucking....by 7 I was already actively sucking and being sucked by guys my age and active through teens

Fred_Brice

Jul 4, 2020, 4:15 PM

My very first sexual experience with a man’s cock, was with a much older widowed male, who had lived in my neighborhood. I was around the age of 12 or 13. I was unaware of the term of “Bisexuality”, until later in life. The old man had so expertly seduced me, into having sex with him. I did not know it at the time, but looking back, the reality was he had molested me. To be honest, I was also very curious about sex, and I had not yet had, any true sexual experiences so, with others so, I had let the old man introduce and by forced me to have male sex, but afterwards I did feel very guilty, for allow him to molested me. At that time I did not seem to enjoy my first male sexual experienced at all, it did terrify me a little. I had heard something about the people who did things like that, were called “Queer” and I knew that I did not want anyone know about what I had done.

I then started, to focusing on female gender, and I was fully into the female body and the female sex so that drove me, far into the closet so to speak, for several decades. I was married in my early twenties, and I was committed to a normal relationships with my wife. My wife was, able to satisfy, most all my sexual needs and I did enjoy, being happily married and having a family. I enjoyed being, who I was! That is, until her death from Cancer and I became, widowed and all alone!

I then found myself needing some, human personal contact. Often, I found myself reflecting, back on my first experiences as a young lad, the ones that shape us into who we truly are and now and maybe, I did enjoy sucking a cock much more, than I was willing to admit at that time. Now for me being a Bisexual, “Sex is Sex”, on my own terms, regardless of gender and I was desperately longing, to return to master male sexual experiences. So maybe that first early contact, may have causes me, to become and often active “Bisexual or maybe a true "Cocksucker"!

playful808

Jul 5, 2020, 12:22 AM

I was never molested.

zbi73

Jul 5, 2020, 2:15 AM

Nope.

darkeyes

Jul 5, 2020, 6:58 AM

I know this original post like most posts about sex is intended for guys. It is little wonder so few women post on site or are active members of it, however...

... most women have been molested by older men, younger men, men their own age and even boys of various ages. I don't mean necessarily rape or serious sexual molestation, but a grope in a crowd; an unwanted feel in a club or pub; a grab of the arse or even "just" a pat; being upskirted, now illegal here; a stolen peck on lips, neck or cheek, or worse a forced smacked on the lips; the pinging of a bra strap, or as happened to me only recently in my first return to a beach, having some shite run their tongue up the back of my thigh while sunbathing with my sister and daughter. These and other unwanted assaults on women are everyday hazards we all face.. and worse. Much worse.

I know that men and boys do get sexually molested and worse, especially and more traumatically, though not exclusively when young, and I do not intend to minimise their traumas. However, if as some men on site claim really want more women members of .com I suggest they give more consideration to us and remember we exist too.. We have our own issues of molestation, assault and rape. I hesitate to say worse than men, but I believe it to be the case very often and certainly more commonly.

I have never been raped, but have been "molested" frequently in my life, not exclusively by boys and men, but overwhelmingly by them.

Please don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound like some old harpy misandrist. Those of you who are old hands on site will know that I have been called those things and worse. I may not be sexually attracted to men, but in general like them and even love a goodly number I am privileged to call friend. So take this wee tome as an affectionate pat on the hand from one friend to another who is not perfect herself, but is asking that you give us the consideration I asked for, not by changing the written language in your posts as such, but perhaps by making it and them more inclusive, pertinent and welcoming to women, and if I may be so bold, transpeeps and intersex alike. Maybe then this site can then return to its former vibrancy, and gain more women and other members which can only enhance its relevance to bisexuals and anyone else who cares for them and has their best interests at heart.

Luv n kissies 2 all. B safe and stay safe.

guywholikesboth

Jul 5, 2020, 10:08 AM

Yes when I was 13 he was 14 went to his apartment he took his huge cock out and asked me to suck it said no he got naked and came over to where I was siting and said come on suck it I said no he got up on me and started to rub his cock on my lips I got hard he reached around and felt my cock he said I know you want to you got a hard on when I said no he shoved his cock into my mouth and said now suck it shook my head no he started to fuck my my mouth I liked the way he cock felt in my mouth he fucked my mouth for about ten min he started to leak pre cum I liked the taste they he started to cum he filled my mouth with his first load had no choice but swallow it loved the taste he gave me to loads of cum when he finished I had swallowed all his cum I got up left went to my apartment jerked off and swallowed my cum next day was in the basement with another friend we sucked each other off and became suck buddies I kept going back to the first guy and we played the forced thing for months I latter measured his cock it was 11 inches one day I went their he was naked and was soft he just got out of the shower I dropped to my knees and sucked him off for the first time after that I was his cock sucker he never did me and yeas I did him for years

Coastocoast

Jul 5, 2020, 2:57 PM

So take this wee tome as an affectionate pat on the hand from one friend to another who is not perfect herself, but is asking that you give us the consideration I asked for, not by changing the written language in your posts as such, but perhaps by making it and them more inclusive, pertinent and welcoming to women, and if I may be so bold, transpeeps and intersex alike. Maybe then this site can then return to its former vibrancy, and gain more women and other members which can only enhance its relevance to bisexuals and anyone else who cares for them and has their best interests at heart.

Before you post anything here or at any new site read the rules and what the creator of the site intended the site to be. They are posted clearly right where you post anything. Many who post here where not here and do not remember what the site was like when it was all genders dealing with the issues that faced bisexuals. In recent times others have migrated here from sites where hookups, sexually provocative stories and porn were the focus of those sites. Those newer member have attempted to recreate their now closed sites and tried to change the site from what Drew envisioned, a safe place for bisexuals to gather and talk about Bisexual issues. Many long time active members have left in the last 18 months due to what is occurring. If members want to hook up post what you are looking for in your Bisexual.com personal ad, answer personal ads there and leave the hookups out of the forum. Drew would have deleted them and pointed you to the introduction thread where you could introduce yourself. By trying to make this a hookup and story site for men it alienates the women, those who are bisexual in relationships and those who want to have discussions about the difficulties of being bisexual. Discussions on being bisexual in a world where we are largely not accepted by homosexual men, lesbian women and heterosexuals of either gender for years was the focus of the site and discussions. It would be nice to have some return to that and if you want to trade porn, erotic stories or seek hookups create a group in Bisexual.com and take those things there. If you look on the site there are a lot of inactive groups that were for that purpose they could be regenerated and new ones created. Please be inclusive and show some courtesy.

mike r

Jul 5, 2020, 3:42 PM

no. not once

tenni

Jul 5, 2020, 4:50 PM

hmm I've wondered. When I was an adult, my mother told me a story about me as a todler.

Apparently, my parents were out one night and a baby sitter was taking care of me again. My parents arrived home to me screaming very loudly as the sitter had me upside down with her hands holding my ankles...(could be heard down the street several times so the neighbours reported to my mother later). When my father entered my room, I was naked and held upside down by my ankles screaming as stated. My parents never hired her again and I did not get into S&M later in life...lol I have only ideas as to what this woman was up to...

As far as the site is concerned, the topics were more varied interests bisexual issues were more frequently connected to gender rights etc. and less focused on dick pics. In the good old days there were some strong arguments and some people seemed to dominate the site at times to the point of coming across as clicks. Chat seemed like its own domain often without awareness to Forum posters if they did not use chat. Ive been a member since 2007.

loftycraig

Jul 5, 2020, 7:10 PM

yes and yes. i believe that early contact made the bi/gay i am today.

CurEUs_Male

Jul 6, 2020, 1:38 PM

@darkeyes, Thank you for reminding us that it's a common theme, often too common, across all genders and orientations.

I get the feeling many men are raised with the concept that aggressive advances are 'normal' and 'acceptable', and never called out.
Molestation is always wrong, as is rape. I'm sorry you have had those issues in your past, and I'm sorry to say it is likely you will again. :(

I am BLOWN AWAY that someone would lick you like that while out in a public place. amazingly that person has no concept of what is going on in this world.
I also noted that the original post was from 2018. I doubt we'll get anything better worded going forward.

I have noticed on here, and other sites, that there is often a question around our history - along the lines of being molested by men when we are young, makes is bi (gay is the sterotype). While that theory has been disproven over the years, it remains a constant question. It's the implied script of male victims, get assaulted, become gay. And yet, there are those of us that have never been molested, raped, or sexually assaulted... and we still find ourselves here, non-straight in some form.

I see these questions, along with a lot of others, that just have no need to be in a forum. Usually, they are because of external influences that are probably keeping someone in a closet, living in fear and/or self denial.
On the other hand, some may be looking at this as a fetish, a role playing outlet. Sure, having someone else do these things may actually be a healthy outlet for some non-straight men, but once you start bringing childhood stories where consent had never been considered, and never could be granted due to age and circumstances, these are far more inappropriate.

This thread could have been a survivors thread, or a fetish thread, but not both... If women on here wanted to participate, clearly I would appreciate their insights (I miss those voices). I fear they would be drowned out by badly worded, ugly eroticism of the cause of pain. If the question is 'were you molested by a same sex adult when you were young?', I am not sure this thread would have been much different.

fredward

Jul 6, 2020, 2:31 PM

No one was ever sexually forward or otherwise inappropriate to me growing up. I'm so surprised to hear these days how many people were treated that way when they were young. I literally had no idea at the time that it was so common. I guess I'm pretty fortunate.

I was in my 20s when I have my first sexual encounter with another person (consensual, initiated by a woman).

bblover

Jul 6, 2020, 3:10 PM

Yes, and yes. I was 11, he was 18. He actually began by jacking me off and asking for nothing in return. Then sucking me off, again asking for nothing in return. Eventually he wanted his "payment". After sucking me off a couple time back to back he rolled me over and licked me ass. Got me soaking wet. Against my protests he forced his cock in my ass. All i remember was pain. I can't even say how long it lasted.

After that i felt ashamed, disgusted, pathetic. Eventually, i began playing around with other boys my age. I enjoyed that time very much because it was reciprocal and not forced or coerced.

I still crave m2m action.

park ave

Aug 20, 2022, 1:13 PM

I suppose I was molested in a way, as I was expertly seduced by a family man in his late forties who had picked me up hitchhiking. I had just turned seventeen, and, less than an hour after meeting him, I was sucking his cock. But I think I was an easy target for him because I had wanted to be 'molested' when I was in Boy Scouts.

A buddy of mine in the troop and I used to jerk each other off (we didn't know about oral, sadly, or I'm sure we would have tried it). My buddy told me a rumor that Kenny, an Eagle Scout and Assistant Scoutmaster, 'liked' boys. As soon as I heard that, I knew Kenny 'liked' me (and I think I got an erection when I heard it).

Kenny was about nineteen or twenty, but he seemed like one of the adults to me, as I was maybe thirteen or fourteen. He had always taken a special interest in me, teaching me camping skills or breaking my shoes about something in a big‐brotherly way, and he seemed to have his arm around my shoulders at any opportunity. Knowing Kenny probably 'liked' me, gave me a sexual thrill that I didn't understand at that time. But I knew there was something there.

Anyway, one camping trip we got hit with a deluge rain, and the WWII‐vintage canvas pup tents that we junior scouts were given leaked like crazy and everything got soaked. I made my way in the rain to Kenny's tent, an eight‐man nylon tank tent the adults enjoyed. It had a floor, it was gloriously dry, and it was lit by a Coleman propane lantern. I asked Kenny if I could stay there that night, as all my stuff got soaked. He told me to unroll my sleeping bag next to his cot (adults had cots; we scouts slept on the ground). I can still picture him sitting up in his cot, wearing a white wifebeater and a thin gold chain with a medallion. He was slim and bookish and wore glasses, and although not an athletic build, he had a relatively hairy chest which at that point in life I envied and hoped to have one day, and which I had seen and admired many times while swimming. I was on the ground in my bag, wearing only underpants, looking up at him at essentially the level of his crotch as we talked, and I wondered how I could get him to trade handjobs as I really wanted to see and handle his adult dick. There was a kind of unspoken expectation of something set to happen in the air.

But what happened was: the next moment the tent flap opens, and the fattest kid in the troop (whose name I remember vividly and still irritates me) came in all wet and bedraggled and asked Kenny if he could stay in his tent. Kenny sighed and told him to unroll his sleeping bag next to mine. So Kenny never got the chance to 'molest' me, although I think it would have been much more like me molesting him lol. And we never got the opportunity again.

Later, when I learned about oral, I frequently masturbated picturing what would have happened that night had that other Scout not shown up, me blowing Kenny and who knows what else he would have taught me. So when that older man chatted me up as he drove and turned the talk to sex, he asked me if I ever considered having sex with another guy. I answered honestly and naively 'yes', recalling all the times I had jerked off picturing being in bed with Kenny (and my two jerkoff buddies as well). He surprised me by saying 'if you want to, you could try', gesturing toward his crotch. Well, I didn't want to miss this opportunity as I had with Kenny, so before I knew it I knew I was working his cock out his fly, stroking it and then sucking it. Was I molested? I'm not sure. But it was clearly an older man taking advantage of a hormone‐crazed teen. And also the fact that I continued to see him for some time after that.

As a last note, I was surprised to read about all the molestations in the Boy Scouts that have recently come to light. That's horrible. And when I picture my adult Scoutmasters, I had and have no desire for them, and I would certainly have felt differently if I had been in the situation that I was with Kenny with one of them instead, and I ended up blowing him. But with Kenny, it would have been a different story entirely.

KDaddy23

Aug 20, 2022, 5:33 PM

@park ave: It begs the question if it's really molestation when one wants to be "molested." I understand the legalities and as we all do and, legally, molestation is molestation - but I also know that not all "victims" are really victims of molestation because they wanted to be "molested" and as insane as that may sound. I've known a few guys who, like you, wanted to be "molested" but it never happened and they've asked me if it made them a bad person because, well, they wanted it and was prepared to do whatever they had to so they could get it... and I've said that I wouldn't say that they were evil or whatever but others might.

I was a Boy Scout and my Scoutmasters were decent men who kept their hands to themselves... but that didn't mean that we kept our hands off of each other but that's different. It's a tough moral question...

Johnyonenut

Aug 21, 2022, 9:02 PM

I have debated telling my story for a while and this seems to be the time. When I was 5 or 6 we had a "cabin" in the woods by our house. I was out there alone when a teen neighbor showed up and took out his dick to show me and stroked it tiil what I now know was precome oozed out. He tried to get me to lick it off but I wouldnt and I left. Fast forward to about 10. We had an adult male guest stay over and he slept with me as I had a double bed. I woke during the night with his hand inside my underwear fondling me. I didnt stop him and I reached back into his underwear to feel him out of curiosity. I dont think he was hard but his dick was all wet and sticky and I didnt know what it was so I pulled it back and rolled away. I told my mom the next day and they threw him out. Move on to 14. I had yet to develope at all, I was a very late bloomer. A neighbor who was a year younger but much more developed than me convinced me to let him fuck me so he tried but couldnt get it in. Then my dad called and he took off. Again at 17 and right out of school my co worker wanted to pay me to blow him or let him suck me. This has led me to question myself. Was I always an innocent "queer magnet" or did I somehow invite these advances? I always have loved sneak peeks at mens packages. I often think that I regret not taking advantage of these situations so I must have natural bi tendencies. Now at 73 I would love the opportunity to explore my bi side but doubt it will ever happen. Thank you for putting up with my long story.

Neonaught

Aug 22, 2022, 10:35 AM

Tight1-4u

Aug 22, 2022, 11:56 PM

as I related before: I was about 10-11 when my cousin that was 3 years older snuck in my bedroom window.. fast forward 2-3 years later When I got sent to my cousins that lived on a farm for the summer.. he and his high school friends used me every day.. I grew to want need to be being used by them.. I went looking for it.. molested I don?t think so.. did it change me sure!!! I wonder a lot how my life would have been different if it all wouldn?t have taken place.. but it did!! And I can?t change that.. just have to be the best we can be..

darkeyes

Aug 23, 2022, 8:22 AM

Most women have by boys, youths, young men and older. Frequently too. I'm no different. It can be frightening and worse, so those who do, dont, those who dont, good boys! I know it happens to guys too. An age ago my brother was a victim. He is not bisexual or gay, but it was awful for him as it has been for my sisters and I who have been groped or worse far more than he. Once is too much much whatever our gender and sexuality.

KDaddy23

Aug 23, 2022, 3:35 PM

"This has led me to question myself. Was I always an innocent "queer magnet" or did I somehow invite these advances?"

Probably felt like it, huh? I always felt like I had a sign on me that read, "If you wanna get off, ask me and I'll get you off!" that only dudes could see. Thankfully no pedophiles but, still. What I would eventually realize that if you're a guy and into sex with guys, every guy you see is potentially fair game and now it's all about what you're willing to do to get him and, politely, you ask and give him a chance to say no or otherwise change his mind and not imposing your will on someone. As much as I loved getting some dick, I learned to say no and was prepared to defend myself because not every guy who'd want you is a nice guy.

Shyguy1376

Aug 23, 2022, 8:40 PM

Not by an older man but by an older women. When I was about 5-6 my mom would drop me off at a friends house till babysit while she was at work. Started innocently enough, she would come sleep with me after her husband went to work, that turned into her rubbing me and rubbing herself on me. That turned into her licking me on my little cock, I remember it feeling good. Then her telling me how to lick her. She would get super wet and I remember her gushing a lot of liquid, now I know she was squirting. Every once in awhile she tasted different and I found out years later after sucking a guy for the first time, she tasted different because she was filled with cum. Eventually she got me to stick my whole arm in her and rams it in as hard as a 5-6 year old could, until she came several times. This went on multiple times a week for over a year until we moved out of state.

Glasscityguy

Aug 28, 2022, 10:22 AM

in my teens i was with older men (my best friend and i actually). I never saw anything wrong with it at the time, they were nice, they treated us well ans spoided up. actually in was some of the best gay/bi experience and led to my first female sex. to put age in prospective. it opened us both up to worlds of new experinces that we would have never experinced on our own. i didnt see it as wrong at the time but looking back it seems messed up. looking back i know we were taken advantage of in everyway, and im surprised we werent killed. i could say more but i know this topic makes some uncomfortable..

to put our ages in to prospective the first man we met was thrilled that my friend wasnt fully deveploved. being a bit older then him i had grown more but i really hadnt grown much body hair. the first woman i was a 35 year old truck drivers wife that would proundly claim she was 21 years older then me. making me about 14 or 15 and my friend about 13 or 14. He becames strickly gay amd only took men. he ended up running away with a canadian trucker just before his 18th Bday. never saw him again after that.

jjourneyman

Aug 28, 2022, 2:50 PM

I can't say I was molested, but my first time was with a much older man. I had just turned 14 and he was 40-ish. By that time, I had already begun dressing in nylons and panties, and masturbating to the thought of what it might be like to be a girl and suck someone's dick and get fucked. I was at that age where I was old enough to choose, so, when presented with the opportunity... I went for it. I may have been a little confused at first, but the fact that I never felt any remorse or regret from the experience(s) confirmed my bisexuality.

Veryoralniceguy

Aug 29, 2022, 9:10 PM

I was seduced by an older man, but I had been dreaming about sucking a cock. I enjoyed it and just kept sucking until he filled my young little mouth with cum, swallowed it all. Loved it when he told me I was a good boy and a really good cocksucker.

phalluster

Aug 29, 2022, 11:54 PM

My first sexual encounter was not being molested but a guy in a mens room exposed himself to me when I was about 14. He wanted me to touch his cock but I left - afraid that he would follow. Turn out there was a peephole that became a gloryhole in that same department store mens room, and that is where I had my first dozen or so blow jobs. I didn't fuck a woman until 5 years later.
So I learned as a teen that some men like to suck cocks, and that they'll suck any cock that comes through a hole. From there I started looking at gay magazines (Blueboy) that were on the shelf with Playboy and Penthouse at the time and I learned that masturbating to cock was just as good as to naked women.
I don't think those experiences made me bi - they just opened my mind to the possibility.

WrldTvlr

Aug 30, 2022, 2:07 PM

Not sure why so many of you find this topic so glorious. Been lurking and for some reason this has triggered me.

When I was 8/9 years old a family “friend” raped me. My childhood was rather rough and when a opportunity to escape the house to a sleep over I hoped on it. Everything was normal until bed time when he wanted me to sleep in the same bed. Shortly he was touching my privates. Initially it felt good but I was scared as hell.

Soon he was performing oral on me and I felt a strange sensation that I desperately tried to hold back. Now I know it was a dry orgasm but it hurt like hell. Later I was forced to perform oral on him. It was rather large and uncut. I gagged on his precum and refused to go further. He had me lay on my belly and he started playing with my butt. He lubbed his finger and was soon inside me. It felt uncomfortable and thought I was going to poop. Later he tried entering me but it hurt to bad. I remember crying and screaming for him to stop.

He threatened me not to tell anyone. And since I was a problem child no one would believe me. I was adopted into a loveless family and I never told anyone until well after his death.

Not sure how he coerced me but the abuse continued until I was 13. After that one night I was not forced to do oral on him nor receive anal. For some reason he got off on sucking me. Because my dry orgasms hurt so bad it was a exercise in mind control not to climax. After he was finished he would jerk himself off and I remember him cumming massively. Often this would repeat two or three times a night.

As I got older I was soon able to cum in huge amounts and my penis grew bigger than his. He always swallowed and never expected reciprocation. He just wanted me to watch him jerk off until he came.

It took quite a few years to realise how much damage that man did to me. I remained a virgin (girls) well into my first military enlistment. Once I got laid the first time I turned into a machine. My control was phenomenal. I could fuck as long as I wanted and repress my orgasm and cum whenever I wanted. Plus of course go all night and cum multiple times. My bed was a revolving door of what I would call “repeat offenders”.

As age crept up I noticed I had a hard time cumming. It took a very high skill partner to get me over the top. And weird things started to happen that I could only climax on my back.

Now I’m older and in a (gulp) sexless marriage. I’ve had a few encounters over the years with letting a couple men suck me.

So if you are a fiction story teller trying to sensationalise being RAPED at such a early age STOP. Myself and others know you are a liar. I’m typing on a small iPhone so I’ll apologise for grammatical and spelling errors in advance.

Fluidity

Aug 31, 2022, 9:16 PM

CockHummer

Sep 1, 2022, 3:57 AM

It is so hard to judge, specifically when both parties are willing but have a greater than 7 years difference.

I just found this ancient thread, so I have no idea whether you will ever find this remark. I understand what you said, but the main point is not so much the difference in age as the actual individual ages. No adult of any age has business having sex with someone who is not an adult, even if the younger party thinks they want it. If both parties are adults, though, and the interaction is discussed and agreed upon, it doesn't matter if they are fifty years different in age. Not that I think that extreme is very likely, but I don't think sex between adults who are perhaps ten or twenty years different in age is rare at all, and as long as both parties are doing it because they want to, there is nothing wrong with that, at all.

WrldTvlr

Sep 1, 2022, 8:34 AM

^Absolutely STOP your pathetic justifications.

Thread title states “MOLESTED BY A OLDER MAN”

MOLEST: assault or abuse (a person, especially a woman or child) sexually: “he was charged with molesting and taking obscene photographs of a ten-year old boy”

Direct definition.

Long Duck Dong

Sep 1, 2022, 9:12 AM

I'm so sorry that happened to you @WrldTvlr and I feel similarly to you about this. These kinds of posts were expressly forbidden on the bisexual forum I used to frequent. While one should be able to post honestly about their experiences, posts that celebrate child molestation are something of a red-flag.

I agree with you... and honestly I do not agree with or condone any of the situations that are posted, simply on the basis of underage sex.....but where I actually get stuck is if we keep things quiet and * hidden * IE counsellors, therapists, family, court etc, then others that may have experiences they feel the need to share with other people who may also understand, can not actually do that.........

I am neuro diverse so I do not see the world in black or white, right or wrong, straight or LGBT+ lol......so yeah I am not trying to say anybody is wrong because they are not, the stances on celebrating / glamourising to have a solid basis and reasoning...

However the point I want to make, is that by implying that underage sex is being celebrated / glamourised, can actually force people to go silent because thats not their intention at all, but simply mature adult discussion about a very sensitive issue which they have limited options to talk about, anywhere else........BUT by the same token, WrldTvlrs experience and opinion and your own opinion are also very valid points indeed, in a forum that does celebrate sex, a thread like this can be seen to be doing the same thing, and are pertinent to the thread and subject matter

Whats harder for me, is I was never molested but as a young teen with raging hormones, my thoughts would often drift to sex with a older male, simply because I could not relate to people my own age, and in my mind, a older man would be more experienced and knowledgeable about sex than me, and it would be safer with them...... the ironic thing, is I was also acutely aware of a older male doing that and getting caught, would literally destroy his life, so I never followed through until I was over the legal age of consent.......yet many times I have been told that I was too young, to have that logic because my brain was not developed enough to consider the consequences of what could happen......

the irony of that, is that they actually teach kids how to be safer and how older people can do things that are wrong, so they are saying that kids are wrong for understanding the very thing they are teaching them.....sighs......

So yeah for me its hard, as the thread subject matter actually goes against my nature ( I have a profound dislike of child molestors / child sex offenders such as the person that WrldTvlr talks about and also an awareness of how that impacted on them in later life ) as well as being against the site rules and also because of my own personal experience as a underage person that wanted to experiment with a older person which would have placed that person at serious risk, which goes against * accepted thinking *, I am actually finding the thread to be very thought provoking.....

KDaddy23

Sep 1, 2022, 3:26 PM

That there are real victims is a given. What we don't talk about are those guys who become bisexual because an older guy introduced them and... they were okay both then and now. Are they really victims? The law says so, but this isn't about the law so much; we know what it says but it reveals a truth that, again, we'd prefer to turn a blind eye to. I, too, have a great dislike for the men WrldTvlr talks about, those assholes that aren't ever going to take no for an answer and they impose their will upon someone. Here's the thing, though: We assume that a guy who isn't at the age of consent doesn't know anything about... anything. The truth is that notion isn't as correct as it is mandated to be; it's the way a lot of guys discover not only sex but their sexuality. If "Charlie" is, say, 10 and "Burt" is 15 and they get to having sex, has a crime been committed if both of them agree to things? The law says yes. Charlie, supposedly, isn't "mature" enough to consent to sex with Burt yet, when Burt approached him - or Charlie "put a move" on Burt, no harm was done and no force or coersion was applied.

We rightfully pitch a royal bitch when this is forced upon someone against their will and you don't have to be at the age of consent to say no to advances you want no part of. It's just that when this conversation comes up, we see "victims" everywhere and the truth is not everyone was a victim. An older man introduced me to dick. He didn't force me to do anything. Yeah, he bribed me with money and I grew up feeling whorish about that but I wasn't hurt in any way. I'd grow up and understand the laws - and I'd even go back to see what the age of consent was at that time and... I was legal according to the laws of my state at that time. No crime was committed. I agreed to it and the law said I was old enough to. But that's not the case with "all guys" who experience sex at the hands of someone older or "way older" than they are. But if Charlie doesn't feel like Burt victimized him, is there a problem? If Charlie "seduced" Mr. Bill, his next-door neighbor and when Mr. Bill was drunk, who is the victim in this? Does this seem impossible or improbable? I say no... because I know guys who did this and purposely... because they wanted to learn sex from a person well-versed in having sex.

And... we must talk about this. We must tell the truth and not keep hiding our heads in the sand about this. The laws of man are one thing but the laws of nature is something else. Long Duck, I knew a lot of guys just like you. Can't relate to the peer group all that well if at all. Ah, but an older, more mature man? Gets the hormones raging something fierce! And while some of those guys I knew didn't act on any of this, some of them did... and they have no regrets over and those who did have some regrets got past them when they understood that stuff like this happens and it has always happened. Even I have said that it makes no sense to feel guilty over something you wanted to do and more so when, once it's done, it can never be undone. The law assumes that a young guy doesn't want to do something like this... and the reality says something very different.

This has been one of the nicer conversations about this that I've seen here.

Long Duck Dong

Sep 2, 2022, 1:35 AM

Lol I remember tenni going after you, using the canadian laws and your response to tenni, asking if he actually knew the law as it pertained to you when events happened.......

In australia in some parts the legal age is 16, in other parts its 17 and in queensland, until 2016, it was 18....and for me thats kinda amusing how in one state a person can be legally old enough but under age in another state, so I could be a victim in one state, but not another, simply because of differing legal ages....

In NZ, the legal age is 16, but until 86, homosexual acts were illegal regardless of the age, lucky for me, I turned 16 in 86, lol......

You mention forced against their will and for me, that is the defining aspect......and that is the difference between experimenting / exploring and what WrldTvlr experienced, in my eyes....rather than gender or age, but I apply that to young teens and older with a reasonable awareness and understanding.....

foundpuppy

Sep 2, 2022, 2:01 AM

Not molested but I was taught how to masturbate. He had the biggest cock I?ever seen.

KDaddy23

Sep 2, 2022, 5:32 PM

Yeah...Tenni. My "arch-nemesis." I respect him and his position but I had made it a point to keep up with the laws where I live and, currently, they now include age of consent stuff for homosexual sex which isn't different from the standard stuff and even then, it's kinda confusing. The LAOC here for all sex is 18. But you can be 16 and consent but you can't have sex with someone who is, say, 35 but you can have sex with someone who is 21 but if you're 17, that's "different." Still, way back in 1964, the age of consent where I live was... 10. I don't remember when it got changed to 16 but it did and then on to being 18... and with the "homosexual sex" rider included. This is as it should be... but it's not the way it can happen and, yeah, sometimes, it's some fucked up shit and, sometimes, it isn't.

Real shit. Like it or not, it's always been a thing of "no harm, no foul" and the alarm "never gets raised" until there is some harm or ya got caught in the act and then, rightfully, the shit hits the fan. Otherwise? One of the "rules" I grew up with was, "I won't tell if you won't!" and... we never told. Snitches get stitches and all that crap, but we knew that if we told, we would be made to stop what we were doing and... none of us wanted to do that. Immoral at times? Yes. Any real harm done? Not to me or the others unless you wanna call getting filled up with cum harmful. No one in my circle of peers was forced to do anything with anyone so, yeah, no harm, no foul, I won't tell if you won't.

Real shit. And shit that, ultimately, has been responsible for guys being bisexual at the least, homosexual at the most... and it's always been like this. Still is. Really real shit...

Neonaught

Sep 3, 2022, 11:53 AM

Opportunist

Sep 4, 2022, 9:08 AM

Greenie, thanks for sharing your experiences.

KDaddy23

Sep 4, 2022, 3:14 PM

Long Duck Dong

Sep 4, 2022, 11:30 PM

I found that a lot of the laws we have about sex - period - are based upon religious beliefs and politicians are all too often about their beliefs influencing those same laws. We all get it. We know many have been legitimately victimized and traumatized and many of the perpetrators have never been caught or forced to pay for their crimes and we've yet to come up with a really fitting punishment for those "P" guys who keep proving themselves to be incurable by conventional means although, um, those dudes tend to not do well in prison.

However, it remains true that not all "victims" are really victims. It remains true that some who may have been... bothered grew up to "shake it off" so they can be the person they are. I could have cried foul and maybe I would have been believed or, more likely, I would've gotten my ass kicked for lying on an adult. I didn't cry foul because, yeah... I loved it. It was way better than getting my ass kicked if I had felt molested or otherwise disturbed by what happened. No harm, no foul, and I grew up to be one hell of a human being and one who understands this and how it can shape us and not always in bad ways. Should the various laws be taken off the books? Deemed to be unenforceable? NO.

in NZ we had the homosexual law reform passed in 1986, and one thing that amused me was the way that people claimed it was a law from queen victorias time......

in fact not only did they get the law wrong but also the time frame and the actual laws.....

The original law referred to buggery or sodomy and became NZ law in 1840 when we became part of the british empire and became the offense against the person law in 1867, that removed the death penality.....the homosexual law that queen victoria signed off on, was done in 1885

The actual law we fought against was the 1961 crimes act provisions

I do agree about the religious beliefs tho I tend to think of it more as they used religion, ignorance and their own bias, as while I see a lot of people that say they are religious or use the bible as a basis, they are cherrypicking the hell out of the bible, specially the old testament......heard a number of christian people say thats why jesus was born and died, to end the old testament and the way mankind abused it in order to control and mistreat others.......

As for the *P * guys, this is not a defense of them in any way, but I was watching a documentary online a couple of weeks ago, with some medical professionals who have the stance that they are simply people with * miswired * brains, so the focus of their interest, attraction and desire is different to ours....but works the same way as any person, straight or LGBT+ , the problem is simply the focus of that attraction and desire.... which is nearly a mirror of the same stances used against LGBT+......

Of course the mainstream professionals refuse to support those professionals opinions......tho on what grounds was never stated......and to my eyes, if they are going to refute or oppose something, the normal thing is to get good reason other than BS or no FKing way, or simply say NO but give no reason why......

But it begs the question of how we *cure * them without doing the same things that have been attempted with the LGBT+ such as conversion therapy.......and even in new zealand chemical castration, even voluntarily, is opposed by many MPs that also say that they want to protect children from harm, using the argument that chemical castration is a violation of human rights....
and if a * cure * was possible, how long before it was used in countries that target LGBT+.......as a * cure * for being LGBT+

The * problem * with LGBT+ is not the fact that we have attraction, desire and interest, its in WHOM, according to society....and society once believed they could * cure * what was naturally a part of us...we fought back saying we are normal and natural, stop saying otherwise, and got law changes to support that......now I am not advocating the same thing with * P * people at all

I am actually struggling with how to assist them not to act on their desires and impulses, so they do not become the thing we hate, without becoming the type of society and people we have fought so hard against..........

Alan0402

Sep 6, 2022, 6:03 AM

My senior year of high school my wrestling coach made me stay after practice to do extra laps to make sure my weight was on point, which it always was, I was 119 soaking wet, super skinny. I always sweat a lot, had no issues sweating through my gym clothes. After the extra laps he took me into his office, told me to take everything off since I was soaked in sweat and you did whatever your coach said. Then completely naked I stepped on the scale, my coach was an old late 50s early 60s burley bear type. Before I even moved the weight on the scale I felt my ass cheeks being spread apart and my coaches tongue licking the sweat off my asshole. I was frozen and didn?t know what was going on. As soon as he pushed his tongue inside my man hole my cock became rock hard and started dripping. Ever since then old burley bear types me have been my secret fetish.

DMercator

Sep 6, 2022, 4:09 PM

The topic of being "molested" by an older man is one that I've given a lot of thought to over the years.

My step father showed me how to masturbate when I was 11 or 12. Both of us naked and his hand wrapped around mine as he pumped my cock up and down. It was the first time I ever saw and touched another man's cock. It was a one-time event and nothing further happened until my mid teens.

Then, slowly, he worked his way up to giving me hand jobs and then (wonderful) blow jobs late at night when we would stay up watching movies together. This went on for about 6 months. I was always on the receiving end, never giving in return, but it was only a matter of time. It was too intimate and pleasurable not to want to return the favor, but, before things progressed that far, my mother walked in and caught us.

Everything went to shit after that. Divorce, estrangement, destroyed family. My father felt shame that turned into anger and was met with anger back the other way. We barely talked to each other the last year I was at home. After graduation I lived out of my car and then on the street for a bit.

It's my personal take that adults messing with teens is wrong, especially when the adult is a parental figure. I'm not sure what age is the cut-off. For some 17 or 18 might be perfectly OK, but for other, younger and more impressionable teens, not so much. I think the laws about legal consent are there for a purpose. There is no shortage of evidence that it has the potential to royally fuck with someone's mental health. I suspect it's the root of my own hyper-sexuality and certainly initiated / accelerated my journey to becoming bisexual.

Despite believing all that to be true, when I looked back on my own personal experience I don't consider myself a victim of abuse or molestation. If anything, I was a victim of seduction. I don't feel guilt or shame for having been seduced. I don't mentally rewrite history to say I didn't enjoy it. And I've never lied to my family or hidden what happened to me all those years ago. I refuse to play the victim.

In some ways I think not being the victim is harder than being one. When something like this happens, people expect a victim. It fits the script of how these things are suppose to play out. How people are expected to feel and act. Society is sympathetic and understanding of a victim that has been traumatized.

It's when you aren't traumatized and go so far as to admit you enjoyed the experience that they become uncomfortable. You aren't supposed to enjoy it. You're supposed to be crushed by it. And you certainly are suppose to still love and forgive someone that abused you. You're not supposed to be OK. He's the monster and you're his victim. And, if you're not a victim, then maybe you're a monster too.

It's easy to open up and tell someone you were abused when you were young. It's a lot harder and requires a lot more trust to be able to admit you lay in bed some nights reliving those memories with pleasure. That a part of you wishes you could do it all again (and this time return the favor give him the pleasure he gave you). To tell them that despite the fact what he did was wrong, it's OK, you enjoyed it and forgive him and still love him. That's a script society can't wrap their heads around. A complexity that is hard to express in a world that wants their stories to done in black and white.

So was I "molested" by an older man when I was young? Depends on how you look at it.

KDaddy23

Sep 6, 2022, 4:50 PM

"So was I "molested" by an older man when I was young? Depends on how you look at it."

And... there you have it, folks. We almost always look at these things as being bad and horribly traumatic and sometimes, it is. Or not. Like it's not what I think about what DMercator experienced but what he thinks about it. He's right about that script we follow that says that if this happened to DMercator, he was molested and he's a victim and many would insist that he was a victim even if he says that he wasn't victimized. Okay, he got seduced. Nothing unusual about that. But if he says he feels no guilt or shame about it, why does it make sense to try to put all of that on him and say, "Yep - victim of molestation!"

And when you consider that way, way back in the day, it was considered to be normal for an older man to take a younger man "under his wing" to teach him about being a man and that also included them having sex albeit under some rather strict rules... and it's a safe bet that those rules weren't always obeyed. We become aware of this bit of history and the script makes us say, "Yeah, that was abuse and that poor guy is a victim!" But was he really? You still cannot take the law as it stands today and apply it to a time where, in this case, no such laws existed. Or, depending on when and where all of this happened, that the laws were different from how they are today.

I read what DMercator wrote and I don't see victim despite him being seduced. His other family issues seems to have been a lot more traumatic than him being seduced. Now, who are we gonna believe? The man who experienced this or our perception of the law as they are right this very moment? I'm of a mind to believe him but, then again, I know some shit about this and know that not every guy who has a sexual experience in this way is a victim or gets traumatized for life and all that stuff we insist must be true. None of us would do this and that is just and right. Some 14-year-old steps to me and wanting to do something? Ain't nothing happening here because I'm not of a mind to wind up in a jail cell and constantly looking over my shoulder for those who'd kill me behind this shit. But the reality is that this hypothetical 14-year-old could convince an old dude to give him the dick because he wants it and for whatever other reasons he does and if the old dude gives it to him, then the kid is a victim. When he really wasn't.

Crazy shit. Still real shit.

Robin Black

Sep 7, 2022, 1:26 AM

I was never molested in the sense that an adult touched or attempted to have sex with me, but one time, when I was about 12, I was in what I thought was a somewhat private area behind a neighbor's back yard and I had pulled down my jeans and briefs and was masturbating. I was down in a dry river bed, below ground level from the nearest street, so I figured no one could see me, even though it was broad daylight. Well, being exposed and masturbating "out in the open" so to speak, had gotten me especially aroused so I was jacking very hard and in just a few minutes I had a fantastic orgasm. I barely had any hair yet and had just started to be able to produce semen earlier that month, so when I came I shot out a stream. It wasn't a lot, but it shot pretty far. I kind of leaned back against the creek bank and was gently pumping my penis after the orgasm when I looked up and realized that the neighbor had come home early and he had been standing a few feet away and quietly watching the whole thing. Needless to say I was mortified. I just froze while he continued to stare at my penis! My erection had not completely gone down and there was still a little bit of semen oozing out the end. I think he said something--I don't remember what--and I gave some sort of answer, but then there was nothing to do but pull up my pants and run off! He never said anything to anyone, and, needless to say, neither did I. But later, whenever I would remember that this grown man had seen my erect penis and watched me masturbating and cumming, just the memory of it would instantly get me aroused.

WrldTvlr

Sep 7, 2022, 9:54 AM

"So was I "molested" by an older man when I was young? Depends on how you look at it."

And... there you have it, folks.

Crazy shit. Still real shit.

Your moral compass is corrupt. Kid was molested and it shattered his family. Then ended up sleeping in his car.
Imagine how different the kid would be if the father kept his sick impulse to himself.

Grooming the innocent and underage is apparently ok to some of you?

DMercator

Sep 7, 2022, 11:54 AM

Your moral compass is corrupt. Kid was molested and it shattered his family. Then ended up sleeping in his car.
Imagine how different the kid would be if the father kept his sick impulse to himself.

WrldTrvlr I don't disagree with your conclusion. Adults messing with kids is morally wrong. And while I forgave my father, I never left him alone with my kids.

The point of the story isn't that it was OK. It wasn't. The point is that what we make of that (we the "victim") is on us. I neither accept that what he did as OK (and therefore OK for me and other adults to emulate) nor do I tell myself that what he did was this cliche version of evil monster raping a child.

The truth is far more complicated than that.

Alan0402

Sep 10, 2022, 1:20 PM

Huey1N

Sep 10, 2022, 6:35 PM

Although I had fooled around with a friend my own age when we were both in our early teens, I had an encounter with an older guy when I was in high school. So I don't really know if I can say it "caused" me to be bisexual, but...

I don't remember how old I was exactly, probably 15 or 16. Anyway, this was a family friend. He was in his mid 50's or so. We were at his lake house, just the two of us. I was definitely given alcohol. And we went skinny dipping in the dark. After we got out of the lake, we went back to the house, still naked. He started hugging me because it was kind of cold out. Next thing I know, he was jerking me off. And I let him without any resistance. Next thing I know, I was blurting out, "We should go to your bedroom..." And we did. We proceeded to jerk each other off on his bed. After a few minutes, I asked him if he wanted to fuck me. He said he wasn't sure if he could get it up enough (he was on the heavier side). I came, and he used my cum for lube to finish himself off. I enjoyed the encounter, A LOT... but then I immediately felt guilt and shame after I came. I felt so conflicted afterwards. I didn't see much of him after that, and we never spoke of it again, but I have often thought to myself "I should have gone back and done more." Probably because as an adult, I have never had a bisexual or gay encounter, even though I really want to, and it seems easy. It's a weird feeling to be honest. I know I was taken advantage of, but I did want it at the same time. In fact, I fantasize about it often.

Don't know if that answers your question exactly.