Is Society Becoming Less Sexual?

[WMassM4M]

I started having sex with men in the mid 80s, right before the AOL days. I met the first guy through a print ad in an alternative paper. It seemed that in those days, in my area (Springfield MA) sex was everywhere. There were endless places to go to meet someone. Shortly after that I got a job tending bar in a gay bar. I have never been attracted to gay men, but every once in a while a married guy - often from out of town - would wander in and got my attention real quick and had some hot times with those guys. When AOL chat rooms were in full swing it became a lot easier to meet someone. I'd say there were more duds than jackpots, but the hunt was a lot of fun.

I was nervous about meeting guys in public places, but explored all the others - Adult Friend Finder, Squirt, Craigslist, Swingers magazines, but of course, AOL was the big one. I met a few really good guys on a phone chat line when I lived in rural Connecticut - guys would drive the 20 miles from Hartford to get their cocks sucked. Today? I tried the new CL alternative (Doublelist.com) recently and nada.

Now it seems that one by one every avenue has closed off. I haven't been active for a few years, but when I started looking again, all the old options were gone. So, where do people meet anymore? Are less guys hooking up? Does it seem that there is an anti-sex sentiment today?

I'm sure age has a lot to do with it too. When you're younger you have more of a drive to put in the time it takes to meet. A lot of guys prefer a younger cock sucker too. Now days it seems like a hell of a lot of work and the options get fewer when you're older. Surely, though, men are just as horny as they used to be - or am I wrong?

[csreef]

I think that the problem is that we are now an Internet based society. You can hide behind a computer, and live vicariously through a web site, instead of going out and taking a risk and meeting a person, face to face...

[sysper]

i think what's more likely is websites figured out they would make more money from people looking for love or sex, by restricting access unless u paid for it. so less people appear online.

[Long Duck Dong]

In New zealand they are reporting a lowering of the numbers of teens that are sexually active and also a lowering of the teen pregnancies rates.... tho no numbers regarding LGBT dating and hook ups.....

Based on personal experience and knowledge, also including that of friends. It appears that things like grindr which is a gay hook up app, are taking over website hookups....
two things I know for fact is that the number of cruise bars in NZ is way down and secondly that my ex flatmate is still using the local toilets for hookups but also saying that some nights he does not see anybody at the toilets
I set him up on 2 different sites, one was a NZ site the other was only lads.com out of 16 responses in a year, one hook up happened.

I have heard that there is an increase with fwb in my area, because its easier than trying to hook up with strangers and getting good sex with a regular is better than bad sex with a total stranger

[WMassM4M]

In New zealand they are reporting a lowering of the numbers of teens that are sexually active and also a lowering of the teen pregnancies rates.... tho no numbers regarding LGBT dating and hook ups.....



The birth rate is also plummeting worldwide, which may have to do with birth control, but I don't think so. I think it might correlate to the declining testosterone levels in the western world. There is almost a backlash against traditional masculinity in favor of the skinny, androgynous look. The body builder type of man is ridiculed in some circles.

In my younger days working in gay bars, gay men were very sexually active and I think HIV had a big part in cooling that down. Grindr couldn't possibly be replacing what used to be. I downloaded the app to have a look, and the few people on there can't compare to the 600 we'd have in the bar on a Saturday night - not even a slow Monday night. It was a huge place. And that was on top of all the other cruising venues that were mostly married guys (my type)

As far as heterosexuals go, I'd dread showing a woman I was interested in her today. Even a compliment labels you as a creep. I can't even imagine where it's all heading, but at some surely point natural instinct will take precedence over the new 'morality'.

[softfruit]

As more people get to be educated, more people learn they have rights over their own bodies and the freedom to consent or not consent. Meanwhile basics of health especially for early life are improving all over the place so there is less of a need to have ten children in the hope that a couple of them will beat the odds and make it through to adulthood and so be there to support you in your old age, should you make it to your 60s or 70s.

That's the pincer movement that drives a declining birth rate. Good thing too - we're running out of planet, and climate change is starting to uproot people from places where it was okay to live in the past but is becoming unsustainable now.

Moving back towards the original topic - love the idea that there are more good fwb's going on out there and people are getting better sex with less chance of being beat up afterwards. Quality over quantity!

[WMassM4M]

love the idea that there are more good fwb's going on out there and people are getting better sex with less chance of being beat up afterwards. Quality over quantity!

The decline in birth rates is not happening in places where it's not ok to live - it's primarily a European and Japanese phenomena. The places with depleted resources aren't slowing down.

Having been in 'the life' for years and known literally thousands of gay and bi men and women (who were my bar customers), including many transgendered, some of who worked in street prostitution, I don't recall any stories of people getting beaten up after sex. Maybe it happened but probably not more than a strictly heterosexual situation did. I've heard of men getting robbed by men they picked up, but again there are criminals everywhere you go. You just can't let your boner erase your common sense especially when your profession is on the streets or you're patronizing sex workers.

Perhaps it's nostalgia but I loved the sexually charged atmosphere, straight, gay and bi, of the 80s, and there was a LOT of FWB situations then too.

[Long Duck Dong]

The birth rate is also plummeting worldwide, which may have to do with birth control, but I don't think so. I think it might correlate to the declining testosterone levels in the western world. There is almost a backlash against traditional masculinity in favor of the skinny, androgynous look. The body builder type of man is ridiculed in some circles.

In my younger days working in gay bars, gay men were very sexually active and I think HIV had a big part in cooling that down. Grindr couldn't possibly be replacing what used to be. I downloaded the app to have a look, and the few people on there can't compare to the 600 we'd have in the bar on a Saturday night - not even a slow Monday night. It was a huge place. And that was on top of all the other cruising venues that were mostly married guys (my type)

As far as heterosexuals go, I'd dread showing a woman I was interested in her today. Even a compliment labels you as a creep. I can't even imagine where it's all heading, but at some surely point natural instinct will take precedence over the new 'morality'.


Yeah I am aware of the declining testosterone level concerns, its something I have been following with interest.... in NZ they are saying its a concern with male office workers sitting all day in chairs.... I will keep a open mind on that.....

as for gay bars, yes I used to work in one when I was younger, and while it was not a 600 person bar, more like 80 on a good night, it was still active, that was in the 80s and that was interesting as the NZ change to the homosexual act law happened in 1986, meaning that homosexual acts between consenting acts was no longer illegal, so they were finally free to be themselves... since then, there was a raise in cruise bars until about 2010 then they started to die off..... in one town near to me, there was 3 of them, within the space of 2 years, they were gone.
owing a LGBT bar years later did not give good results from LGBT patronage but that was blamed on the LGBT community not supporting the bar...
oh course this is NZ, so we do have smaller centers than the US and the biggest LGBT community is in auckland, our biggest city with 1 mill + people... lol the US has states with more people than the population of NZ combined at about 6 million lol

for smaller centers it leaves us with LGBT support groups ( the one in my area dissolved because of internal conflict ) websites ( 7 that I can think of off hand with around 50 males on them but very low hoop up rate based on ex flatmates experience ) and phone apps like tinder and grindr or the public toilets.
for me it begs the question, are people finding different mediums to make contact or being more selective in whom they have sex with.....


the change in attitudes with heterosexuals ? you hit on a very real fact and issue, something that is happening in NZ and its very much one sided with the constant females at risk because of toxic masculinity.... I am more middle ground with that because I am open about the fact that yes, there is a problem with the way that some males treat females but also that females are not angels themselves, based on personal experience..... media wise its very one sided with the #metoo movement as near every story is all about what females deal with, maybe a few lines about males being victims of sexual assault....but the focus is on what should be done to protect females and keep them safe..... lol mention that males want to be safe too and not hit on by drunken females, you will promptly be told to shut up by feminists... my stance is that they are not interested in addressing the fact that females can place themselves in serious situations as well, its easier to just blame males for everything

[WMassM4M]

[QUOTE=Long Duck Dong;321486]

and its very much one sided with the constant females at risk because of toxic masculinity.... I am more middle ground with that because I am open about the fact that yes, there is a problem with the way that some males treat females but also that females are not angels themselves, based on personal experience..... media wise its very one sided with the #metoo movement as near every story is all about what females deal with, maybe a few lines about males being victims of sexual assault....but the focus is on what should be done to protect females and keep them safe..... /QUOTE]

Yeah, there certainly is a mixed message. Women revel in appearing as slutty as possible, even holding 'slut walks' but God forbid a man comment on their appearance. Women use their appearance and sexuality to their benefit constantly, but if some fool thinks the waitress flirting with him (for tips) has a genuine interest and makes a move it's a #metoo moment. I can only hope the outcome will be that more men decide it's easier just to have a guy suck their cocks.

[Long Duck Dong]

If I am to be honest, I have had more drama, headaches and issues with female partners, than with male partners......bad choices in partners more than anything but with males I have had more suck, fuck and run experiences than with females....

the current people I am with, the youngest female is in her late 20s and she has openly said she would rather have women and older men in bed with her than younger males... and it has to do with the fact that its less sex but better sex and shes treated with more respect .....but as she says, a big part of it is sexual attitude like the younger guys want sex with no strings attached but they want it on demand.... older men enjoy sex without the baggage and complications and are more willing to compromise on when and where