Sigh... Who's a guy got to fuck around here to give a blow job?

[lancer525]

Well, I have to admit, I was on the verge of removing all my profiles and giving up. Over the last 15 years, since my regular couple moved to Colorado, I've not had any luck with finding a play partner.

Until this past week. Or so I thought. I met and chatted with four guys, all of whom seemed like they would be great playmates and become good friends. As of 2 hours and 30 minutes ago, three of the four have flaked. No shows. Only one of the three even bothered to say anything, sending me a text the next day saying "he didn't show because he felt guilty."

What's with people these days? All these guys are within 3 years either way of my age. I wasn't brought up to not show up without saying anything.

We all were to meet in a public place for a drink or lunch, and none of them showed.

Now I'm wondering if it's something I said or something I did. I'm the only thing they all have in common. It's got to be me. But I know I was honest, I wasn't crude or pushy, and I am always polite, so it can't be that.

I've messaged a couple of guys here, and all are too far away, and given what's happened, I feel like if I make a two hour trip, that this same thing will happen, and I will have wasted the trip.

Man, this is damned discouraging. I really don't know what to do about it. I don't think I can do anything. I told that one guy off, because it was the second time in a year he's done this. But the others, well, if they don't think enough of me to be honest and communicate, why should I waste my time? I don't think I'd want the dick of someone like that in my mouth. Or anywhere else!

There's one other guy I've talked to, and we're not supposed to meet up in person until Tuesday. I'm really looking forward to that, and if it happens and goes well, It'll be great! But if he stands me up and says nothing, I don't know what I'll do.

Just had to vent, and thanks for being supportive.

[SuckerMC]

That is very terrible, Lancer. And that does sound very discouraging. Don't give up the ship. Before you know you will have found a regular cock to suck. Maybe it will be the guy you will meet on Tuesday. Don't give up guy.

[bw299]

I am active on three other sites in addition to this one. I have had the same experience. You chat or exchange messages with a prospect, seem to connect, make arrangements to meet, then they no show. Sometimes they chat or exchange emails, seem to connect, talk a good show, then jut disappear when you're ready to arrange to meet. Flakes. There are a lot of posers that claim to have experience but in reality never have, or claim to want to meet but don't have the balls to follow through. But if you give up and quit looking and trying you never create an opportunity and, lets be honest, that opportunity gives all of us a spark of excitement. I find that, when I do hookup after having struck out so many times, the encounter is often all that much more pleasurable. So I just keep trying.

[lancer525]

Thanks, guys. That's encouraging.

I've got one planned on Tuesday. We'll see how that goes.

[SilkyHoseLover]

@lancer 525:

Hope you have better luck on Tuesday than I typically do...

Today is my latest disappointment. Had a tentative play date arranged for this morning, with a guy I've met once and exchanged quite a bit of email/messaging. (Of course, I did most of the heavy-lifting there, but at least he contributed frequently, if not with exceptional quality...)

Guy's a newbie, probably a frightened newbie, but he seems eager and sincere. Worst of all -- for me -- he seems to be EXACTLY what I've been searching for since I started looking. He's into my feminine look and desires, lives within minutes of me, has very compatible availability hours, and can even host occasionally.

We met and chatted one time, and talked quietly in private. Before we parted, I gently guided his hand into my panties for his first feel of another man's cock, and unzipped him and gave him his first sample of another's lips on his. Just to show him that I'm real and serious about getting together.

Post-meet feedback was all good, and we set a tentative playdate for the following Wednesday. I expected a status message early that morning to say whether we were still on, but there was no word from him for two days, when he finally wrote, asking if I had 'changed my mind'. I was out of town when he finally wrote that, so I couldn't answer immediately. (something I'm very good at...) In fact, I had mentally composed a nastygram, having been plagued by fakes and flakes so many times, but didn't actually write it. Instead, I wrote a response that indicated my disappointment, and hope that this wasn't an indication of insincerity on his part. He was just too-promising a potential playmate to write-off so quickly.

He apologized, saying he didn't realize that we had actually set a playdate, and he doesn't save emails, so he couldn't go back to revisit the planning. Ok.

So we continued to communicate last week, and set a couple of more tentative dates -- first on Tuesday. Well, damn -- even though he's semi-retired, his normal short workday suddenly had a lot of extra stuff piled on for Tuesday, which he assured me would be finished, and we would be able to do Wednesday. Wednesday morning, he wrote that it took longer than he expected, and he hadn't been able to finish his work the night before. By this time, I started to write very short replies, instead of informative, literate ones. To Tuesday's cancellation, I responded: 'Ok'. Yes, the intent was to signal that my patience was wearing thin...

When he alibied again Wednesday, I didn't reply at all, initially. Later on that day, I sent an email with the subject line 'Friday?', and the message body: 'Wanna?' (I don't normally make plans to play on Fridays, but thought it would work out this time, on a one-time basis.) He didn't respond early in the morning, as is his habit. He wrote back with a vague, semi-affirmative answer later in the morning AFTER the timeframe that we had mutually agreed that we were generally available. So that didn't work.

Next, we discussed doing something this morning -- Sunday -- and how we could make it work. This morning, a few minutes after the time that we'd tentatively planned to get things going, I got an email: 'I just woke up'. There was no mention of our planned meeting, and he went on to tell me that he'd been up at 1AM to go to the bathroom, went back to bed, jerked-off and then went back to sleep. He continued: "After I have my coffee, I'm going to take some things to sell at my daughter's garage sale -- have a great day!"

That's it for this guy, ideal matchup or not. I wrote, not a terrible nastygram, but let him know in no uncertain terms that I'd had it with his moving targets, whether they're real distractions, the result of his fear of 'taking the next step', or that he's simply a fake/flake.

It's frustrating. I'm a decent, real person and I deserve better than this. Told him that I hoped the guys who respond to his ad on SilverDaddies are just like him. (and I'm confident that most are -- I've been contacted by PLENTY of them...) He will realize what he missed out on. (Not saying I'm ultimately 'hot' or anything -- just saying that I'm real and try very hard to be fun and please the guys/gurls I play with...)

[lancer525]

Wow! Your patience is a whole lot thicker than mine!

I met this guy online, a little over a year ago, when he responded to my profile on SLS. At the time, he seemed like the ideal playmate for me. We communicated via email, and I get more details to his story. He's from the next state over, married, they play in the lifestyle, (normally with other couples) he's here on a job and has a local apartment. (long term, 2-yr lease, I know the guy who owns the building!) That apartment building is just over 1.7 miles away from my home! He told me that his wife is back at home, and he's always wanted to try Bi, and couldn't because his wife doesn't like bi male or female... blah blah blah...

After four or five "get acquainted" emails, he suggests meeting for a drink, so we do. He shows, we talk, and I told him (this was my first mistake) that I generally didn't go directly from first meet to play, but if he wanted to we could go back to his place for a nightcap and more talking outside of a public place. He balked at that, claiming an early day the next day, so I went on, and in his next email he suggested that I come over the next day to "get to it" as he said. Included three dick pics (and I have to say, this guy had the most lovely cock I'd ever seen) and asked if I felt okay with everything. I told him his equipment was very nice, that I'd love to have it in my throat (and yes, I could do it, and would) and that all he'd need to do was give me his apartment number and a time, and I'd be there. He told me that nobody had ever been able to get him all in, and that he was rock hard thinking about me even trying. He told me that he was excited for me to come over.

That was the last communication we had for over three weeks.

23 days later he sends an email telling me that he just couldn't go through with it because he'd feel guilty for cheating on his wife. I told him it was okay, we all get cold feet, and that I didn't hold a grudge. Wrote him off then and there. Blocked him on SLS too so he couldn't write back.

Fast forward to two weeks ago.

Got this email from a guy with a completely different screen name on SLS. He said he liked my profile, and wanted to know if I really was okay with being with a guy. (I'm listed as Bi, not bi-curious, or bi-comfortable, so that was a rather dumb question I thought) I wrote back that I was okay with it and told him that if he was interested I'd be happy to meet him. I suggested a place to have a drink, and then in his next reply he told me we'd already met "a few months back" and that he thought we "ought to get together" (his exact words both times). I told him that I hadn't met anyone in the last few months, except for one guy over a year ago, who seemed pretty nice but never followed through. He said it was him, that he'd changed his mind, and wanted to hook up. I told him to give me his apartment number and I'd be happy to come over on Friday, and what time? He sent me an email Saturday afternoon telling me he'd felt guilty again, and couldn't do it. That was last weekend.

Talk about nastygrams... I sent him one telling him that he didn't really have any reason to feel guilty about "cheating on his wife", and that the only thing he really had to feel guilty about was lying to me about wanting to get together. It was about 1500 words. I seriously doubt he read it all, because I included some choice comments. Really, really pissed me off.

I've got this one guy now that I haven't met, but we've exchanged some good email. He seems to be a really good guy, and I really like the idea of having a good, close friend who can play once in a while. I really, really hope that he doesn't chicken out on me, because that would just be the worst thing. He plays golf, we're the same age, have similar likes and dislikes, and I like what we've talked about in our emails. I can only hope he doesn't chicken out.

At some point, someone like me can't help but turn that sort of thing inward, and find all sorts of things undesirable about one's self. I know my own flaws, believe me, and I can magnify and multiply them better than anyone else ever could. And I wouldn't be able to stop that "but if there wasn't something really disgusting about you, all these guys wouldn't change their minds at the last minute" thought from entering my head. Hell, it's already there. I can push it back by rational thinking, in that I know how much it takes to take that first step to bi, and that guilt is a powerful thing. But it's really getting harder to accept it isn't me in the face of all this evidence.

I'm getting some great encouragement and support here, and I'm really glad I'm on this site. It really does help to be able to talk it out.

Thanks.

[Plumhead2]

Lancer, it ain't you, it's them! I am so angry about flakes on these websites. I am a mwm and bi-curious and have been trying for a few years to meet with a guy and explore mm sex. I can't tell you how many times I have been stood up by guys. One time, I waited for two hours at a Wendy's restaurant for the guy to show up, and he never did. No phone call, no email, just didn't show up. Then he ghosted me via email. The latest was this past week. I had re-arranged my business meetings so I could meet this guy that I had been chatting with and emailing for three months. We seemed compatible in terms of age, sexual wants, and fantasies. We did c2c and it was very exciting. So we made plans to meet, and again, the guy never showed up. Again, no phone call, no email. It definitely is frustrating and so I understand your frustration, too. I wonder if these guys are flakes, feeling guilty, or just like to tease other guys. Will I continue to search? Yes, probably. Otherwise, I probably will have no hope but to die a "cock virgin"! LOL

[12voltyV2.0]

Lancer---do not take this sort of thing "personally." I can tell you---I have had so many guys that I have met online who will say that "I am on my way to your place" only to have them never show and you never hear from them again.

I will often be actually greatly surprised when a guy does show up--that is very much a surprise because it is more the rule than the exception that they don't show up...

When I said to not "take it personally"---that is true because in most situations---the reason that they do not show has NOTHING to do with me or you are anyone else--it has to do WITH THEM.

I know that it is surely true of older guys like myself---we so want and desire to "experience dick" but all of our upbringing, what society tells us and expects of us plays into not ever acting on those desires, wants and needs---but I would have figured that with you being of a younger generation--that would be something not still common--but then again--obviously not.

If you are "going to play this game"---you have to be prepared---that while so many guys "want dick"----when the reality of actually doing so is exciting---they cannot get over the hang ups they have about doing so, so they bail out at the last when there is a very real possibility----they can get up close and personal to and with another guy's cock!

They go running and screaming away......but that they can never get up the nerve to ever do so--they die regretting that they never let themselves experience being with another guy and getting to do at least some of the things that they want to do to and with a real live, hard, warm, cum spurting cock---just like what Plumhead said above....

[12voltyV2.0]

I have to reply to my own posting--I decided not to edit and remove the comment saying that you are of a younger generation--I was thinking you were that one Millennial guy who has posted up about how he is finding it hard to get guys to meet with---you are of my generation too---but that we do see younger guys come on and talk about them having the same issues----does show that this is still not something that is easy or all that fully accepted yet.

We here in the states do have to consider that we may well find a day in the not too distant future that thanks to the current political situation--we have our vice president and some members of the Congress in both houses who have actually called for homosexual acts and activities to once again not only be "socially and morally unacceptable"-----they actually would like to see such things be re-criminalized again---with some very serious potential legal consequences taking place if one gets caught doing so....like going to prison for a long time.

Mike Pence said as much when he was still governor of Indiana, but some of the things he put into place to restrict GLBTQ people when he was leading that state---got beat back and overturned....but it still is his desire to do things of that sort--same for some of those other legislators.

It would be no wonder that based on the political climate---some people are still a bit reticent to be open about being anything other than good and perfect straight person who by the reckoning of those like Pence and others--the ONLY sex they think should happen---is sex done only by a man and a woman--married in a conservative protestant Christian church by a preacher man---with the sex ONLY being for the purpose of "making babies" going back to the ancient religious notion that ALL other forms of sex other than pro-creative sex between one "Godly Married Man and Woman" is SODOMY and therefore banned by God and The Bible.

[pole_smoker]

I have to reply to my own posting--I decided not to edit and remove the comment saying that you are of a younger generation--I was thinking you were that one Millennial guy who has posted up about how he is finding it hard to get guys to meet with---you are of my generation too---but that we do see younger guys come on and talk about them having the same issues----does show that this is still not something that is easy or all that fully accepted yet.

We here in the states do have to consider that we may well find a day in the not too distant future that thanks to the current political situation--we have our vice president and some members of the Congress in both houses who have actually called for homosexual acts and activities to once again not only be "socially and morally unacceptable"-----they actually would like to see such things be re-criminalized again---with some very serious potential legal consequences taking place if one gets caught doing so....like going to prison for a long time.

Mike Pence said as much when he was still governor of Indiana, but some of the things he put into place to restrict GLBTQ people when he was leading that state---got beat back and overturned....but it still is his desire to do things of that sort--same for some of those other legislators.

It would be no wonder that based on the political climate---some people are still a bit reticent to be open about being anything other than good and perfect straight person who by the reckoning of those like Pence and others--the ONLY sex they think should happen---is sex done only by a man and a woman--married in a conservative protestant Christian church by a preacher man---with the sex ONLY being for the purpose of "making babies" going back to the ancient religious notion that ALL other forms of sex other than pro-creative sex between one "Godly Married Man and Woman" is SODOMY and therefore banned by God and The Bible.

Don't blame politics, or the vice president just because nobody wants to hook up with you or the original poster who fucked his own sister. :rolleyes:

[bw299]

Made a hookup last Thursday evening off of Squirt.org. Middle-aged guy with a beautiful 6.5" cut cock with a nice mushroom head. Took a little work to make him cum but it was well worth it. Tasty cum and a nice load and he was VERY appreciative. Made another hookup tonight off of Squirt.org. 20 year old with a beautiful, 7" cut cock; thick with a beautiful mushroom head and rock hard. He shot a huge load when he came and I made his toes curl. I'm thinking I'll be hearing from both of them again.

[sysper]

congratulations i'm glad!!! i hope u see them soon too, maybe all 3 togather????? :)
Made a hookup last Thursday evening off of Squirt.org. Middle-aged guy with a beautiful 6.5" cut cock with a nice mushroom head. Took a little work to make him cum but it was well worth it. Tasty cum and a nice load and he was VERY appreciative. Made another hookup tonight off of Squirt.org. 20 year old with a beautiful, 7" cut cock; thick with a beautiful mushroom head and rock hard. He shot a huge load when he came and I made his toes curl. I'm thinking I'll be hearing from both of them again.

[lancer525]

Update:

The fourth guy, (who in truth is and was the most likely to follow through,) and I are planning to meet this weekend. At his suggestion, no less. Sent me the email I was expecting Tuesday night, had a pleasant exchange, made plans, and this looks completely and totally promising! There's absolutely no better way to get an appreciation of the nuances of someone's personality and character, than on the golf course. Of course, I haven't hit the links in so long that I don't know if I remember how to do it! It is going to be ugly, from a golf standpoint, and enlightening and exciting from all the other standpoints!

Looks promising!

[SilkyHoseLover]

Maybe you'll get one-in-the-hole... I mean, a hole-in-one! :suave:

[lancer525]

I suppose I should have expected that.... BWAHahahahahahaha....

[sysper]

golf was made for sex jokes...well if u think about it all sports lol!!!!

[lancer525]

Update: We were going to meet up on Tuesday, but he had to take a co-worker to the local airport for a conference trip that had been booked suddenly. So we re-scheduled for the golf course yesterday. Got in nine, and then it started to rain, but we had a good time, and seemed to hit it off well. Desires were discussed, tentative plans were made, and we'll see how it goes!

[lancer525]

Another update...

Met up with the guy at the golf course. We seemed to hit it off, and there was a good bit of playful banter going on. At the turn, we went in for some Gatorade, and then the rain started. I offered to head back to his place, as he'd suggested the day before, and he declined, saying his wife hadn't left for her trip to see her folks. But, she was leaving in the morning, so we made plans. He was going to email his address.

Haven't heard from him yet.

I give up.

[SuckerMC]

Don't give up, you will find your cock. Right now you are on a bad streak.

[cuttin2dachase]

It's obvious that your golfing bud either didn't feel the vibe/chemistry or you're not his type or maybe he just got cold feet. Or maybe he's a wannabe with little or no mm experience who never intended to meet for sex and gave himself an out by saying his wife would be out of town and then saying she changed her plans. I've never seen the point of lying to a potential male partner. If I meet a guy for a look-see to determine if there's mutual desire/attraction and I don't feel vibes or compatibility, I'll tell him face-to-face that he's not what I'm looking for. If there are mutual vibes, I invite him home with me. But the great majority of men I've met for actual sex are men I didn't go out to meet. I felt comfortable with them online and they demonstrated genuine interest in meeting me. We exchanged mobiles and texted/voicechatted with first to confirm mutual interest/desire. Then we set up a date and time to meet, either for a drink or for him to come to my place. I've had very few no-shows, but the majority of no shows I've had did have the courtesy to text or call to cancel our 'date' and be honest as to the reason why. It takes a measure of trust and true desire for sex for 2 guys to meet sight unseen to have sex. LOL and since I mainly seek submissive cocksuckers to suck me off, I don't have to fuck them in order to get sucked. Nor did they have to let me fuck them before I let them suck me off.

[SuckerMC]

Maybe you two should meet cuttin2dachase. You two are in the same state. He is looking for a cock to suck you like a submissive cocksucker and you do have a very nice cock to suck there sir.

[cuttin2dachase]

@ SuckerMC Thanks for the compliment ! But being in the same state, in my case Georgia, is not sufficient. Being very near, say within 20-30 minutes, of a willing partner makes it much more likely that a meetup could take place.

[lancer525]

Well, yes he does have a beautiful package, and I completely agree with him that distance is a factor. That's why I have a specific 40 mile travel radius. However, I am in no way, shape, form, or fashion any kind of "submissive" and find the whole idea of d/s to be repulsive. Back in the day, when the wife and I played together, it was our experience that men who proclaimed they were "doms" were just assholes who wanted to be aggressive, sadistic control-freaks without repercussions.

I am 110% certain that this is NOT the case here with the fine gentleman from Georgia. I regret speaking so bluntly about the d/so thing, but I have such strong feelings about it that I wanted to make crystal clear that politeness is in no way equatable with submissiveness.

I sincerely hope that I have not given offense, as it was not my intention. Please don't make the assumption that nice, polite, courteous people are into being abusively treated like dirt.

[cuttin2dachase]

No offense taken. We all like what we like and want what we want. I like to be in charge and have everything my way. It's not absolutely necessary that a male partner be submissive, but it is preferred since I refrain from sucking cock now and just want no-recip pleasure from other men. Submissive men are more likely to enjoy no-recip sex with me, simple as that !

[lancer525]

Much appreciated, and thank you.

I have my reasons for no-recip required, and most assuredly it isn't due to some submission thing. It's far more personal.


:bigrin:

[SuckerMC]

I meant no disrespect @ lancer525 by implying that you are "submissive". I meant no disrespect. It was a wrong choice of word to use. I completely understand where you are coming from with the dominate and submissive ways. I am one that has not been in the position of dealing with a "dominate" man. I don't even know what it's like to have a cock in my mouth. It has been fantasy only so far. I can say that I am in your same thinking that I would not like dealing with someone who is dominate and wants to control the situation. And like you I also have my own personal reason for no desire to reciprocate.

@ cuttin2dachase, both you and @ lancer525 are correct the distance is a big factor. I live in a much larger state and even places that may seem close are really not so close.

Back to @ lancer525 with his search. Good luck and don't give up.

[SuckerMC]

Have you any luck with you cock sucking search @lancer525?

[lancer525]

Have you any luck with you cock sucking search @lancer525?

Not a damn bit. Since June of 2018, and the guy from the golf course, I've had exactly three people look at my (updated weekly) profile on SLS. I opened a profile on SilverDaddies, and one on Adam4Adam a couple of months ago, and I've had exactly ZERO replies to any of the emails I've sent. Not even one. I've had less than a dozen initiated emails from others, proclaiming how dominant they are, and how much they'd like to "make me their bitch" when it plainly says in my profile "absolutely NO d/s types"...

Apparently, there isn't even one guy within 30 miles of me that wants an NSA blowjob.

If they only knew I can deep throat up to around 9" and I swallow. As an added point of frustration, I have an ass that hasn't had a cock in it since the 1980s. It's practically a virgin hole.

Go figure.

[mpine86]

I feel your pain guys, and it does suck that there seems to be way more flakes out there than not. I can’t tell you how many guys have flaked on me (and my wife for that matter). One thing I can say from experience is that you should never take it personally or think that there’s something wrong with you. Seriously, I just think that the majority of guys out there are scared shitless about something happening for real. Which is the most frustrating part, because if you’re not prepared to go through with it, then why string someone along and get their hopes up in the first place? I actually think the problem is two-fold: one, in the day and age of the internet I think people think it’s okay to just ghost others because there’s a fundamental human connection that’s lacking, and two, I think that a lot of inexperienced guys are still way too scared to go through with anything due to social norms, etc.

This is a super frustrating aspect of our lives, and I often find myself thinking, “why is it such a big deal to find a dick to suck on???” I mean seriously, it’s just not that big of a deal and it shouldn’t be that hard. Ultimately, don’t give up and something will happen for you. I’ve adopted the attitude of not going out of my way anymore, but I’m still going to try to sincerely connect with other guys. You may even have to adjust your preferences and standards a bit, but trust me someone will come along and help you fill that need for cock.

Goid luck gentlemen... fair winds and following seas to you all!! And, may the Schwartz be with you ����

[lancer525]

I feel your pain guys, and it does suck that there seems to be way more flakes out there than not. I can’t tell you how many guys have flaked on me (and my wife for that matter). One thing I can say from experience is that you should never take it personally or think that there’s something wrong with you. Seriously, I just think that the majority of guys out there are scared shitless about something happening for real. Which is the most frustrating part, because if you’re not prepared to go through with it, then why string someone along and get their hopes up in the first place? I actually think the problem is two-fold: one, in the day and age of the internet I think people think it’s okay to just ghost others because there’s a fundamental human connection that’s lacking, and two, I think that a lot of inexperienced guys are still way too scared to go through with anything due to social norms, etc.

This is a super frustrating aspect of our lives, and I often find myself thinking, “why is it such a big deal to find a dick to suck on???” I mean seriously, it’s just not that big of a deal and it shouldn’t be that hard. Ultimately, don’t give up and something will happen for you. I’ve adopted the attitude of not going out of my way anymore, but I’m still going to try to sincerely connect with other guys. You may even have to adjust your preferences and standards a bit, but trust me someone will come along and help you fill that need for cock.

Goid luck gentlemen... fair winds and following seas to you all!! And, may the Schwartz be with you ����

Encouraging, thanks.

And I haven't had my Schwarz in so long I can't remember what it's like!! LOL

[SuckerMC]

Not a damn bit. Since June of 2018, and the guy from the golf course, I've had exactly three people look at my (updated weekly) profile on SLS. I opened a profile on SilverDaddies, and one on Adam4Adam a couple of months ago, and I've had exactly ZERO replies to any of the emails I've sent. Not even one. I've had less than a dozen initiated emails from others, proclaiming how dominant they are, and how much they'd like to "make me their bitch" when it plainly says in my profile "absolutely NO d/s types"...

Apparently, there isn't even one guy within 30 miles of me that wants an NSA blowjob.

If they only knew I can deep throat up to around 9" and I swallow. As an added point of frustration, I have an ass that hasn't had a cock in it since the 1980s. It's practically a virgin hole.

Go figure.

Man, that sucks (in not a good way). Like mpine86 said don't give up. There will be a cock out there for you. I will find out soon myself if I will have my first cock to suck. I answered to an ad for the first time. After many attempts of just looking I decided to do it. I don't know where things will go. Maybe he loses interest or maybe I do. Maybe our nerves get the best of us. This is new for him as it is for me. All I can do is wait for a response and play it cool. Wish me luck.

[siryder]

LOL I read this subject and thought.. Me! I'd be happy to let someone suck me if I was promised a good fucking in return. :bigrin:

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Hope you have better luck in your search than most.

[KDaddy23]

There are a lot of guys who think some mutual cock sucking is just what the doctor ordered... until they have a "moment of truth" moment and wind up having second thoughts and don't show up for meets. Sometimes they give a reason that is, at the least, plausible... and sometimes you know they're lying like a rug. Many do a no-show/no-call and you can only imagine why they did this. It's also true that some guys are about the "thrill of the hunt;" they successfully connect, make plans to meet... and for them, that's all folks - they're pleased with themselves for being able to go that far but, often, don't care that they've pissed someone off.

It's the bane of a bi guy's existence and, really, it's not all that different from trying to date and bed women; sometimes they show up... but no sex and sometimes they never show up and won't offer an excuse or, again, offer up one that might be plausible. All one can do is to keep trying to connect while not getting discouraged.

[nu2curious]

I know they're there, really I do , I've been reading their posts and sometimes communicating with them on six (6) different sites since 2012. That's a Long time right? In all that time not one has ever been " available " or located even remotely near my area. The facts are clear though that literally tons of guys want this.

I've often thought about how easy it should be to locate a suitable partner who like myself is clean, nice, respectable and just wants NSA play from time to time. Nothing complicated, no hugging, kissing , cuddling just a healthy appreciation of each others cocks. One would think meeting up , getting acquainted, becoming friends, then advancing to mutual cock play pleasuring and sucking shouldn't be that hard but it is apparently.

I can certainly empathize with everyone on this thread when it comes to the difficulty of finding a reliable bud.

[Tuffnuggies]

Been on both sides of this topic. While many of the guys I’ve met have worked out well, I’ve been the one to flake as well as being flaked on. When I’m the one that can’t make it, it boils down to a few reasons.. First, I can only meet while I’m on the road with work, or the rare occasion that I’m out at night. My time is very limited, so if I run late, I don’t chance being caught up longer than expected. The second is the vibe.. If at any time I feel something does seem right, I go with my gut instincts, which are never usually wrong. But in either case, I will let the other person know I’m unable to make it.
Believe me, I’d rather have the person I get together with be someone I’m very comfortable with. But such is not the case with many of the wackos that are out there today.

[lancer525]

I’d rather have the person I get together with be someone I’m very comfortable with. But such is not the case with many of the wackos that are out there today.


I think your last statement just iced the cake for me.

Time to give it up. There's a good reason why I haven't had any opportunities, and that must be it.

So, I'm going to use that statement from Tuffnuggies as a sign from the Universe that it's time to move on...

It's too bad, really.

[jem_is_bi]

I have a long time relationship that is very comfortable for me. However, before my relationship with him,I never had a problem meeting other men. Yes, there were about 3 times as many dead ends as actual an actual get together. But, I considered that great, because when I was dating women, it was more like 1 out of 8 for me. However, for men or women, I never used comfort as a factor in initiating a get together. I assumed that I would be uncomfortable in all first meetings. If my goal was to meet and have sex, then that is what I searched for and had no trouble achieving in a month or less. I set up my first meeting with my present partner for sex because I liked the picture of his dick that he posted. We were both uncomfortable that first meeting. However, the sex was great so we continued to meet and slowly get comfortable with each other.
In my experience, if you do anything dramatically different in your life (sex or career, etc.) then you will be uncomfortable in the beginning. So, making comfort level a factor in trying something new will make to difficult or impossible to achieve that goal. Your life will likely be static and unchanging, which can be good if that is what you want.

[Skeeter 60]

I'm dying to get fucked for the first time and nobody wants to

[fastdriver67]

I am bi curious and been trying to find someone to show me the way but it has been a bad of time of it I feel for you.

[lancer525]

I'm dying to get fucked for the first time and nobody wants to


I am bi curious and been trying to find someone to show me the way but it has been a bad of time of it I feel for you.


I've encountered four categories.

1) The ones that contact you, and are enthusiastic, right up to the point where either one of you suggest a meet, or there is agreement to meet, and then poof! They disappear.

2) The ones that contact you, and are passive-aggressive, telling you they love to play with X body parts, and then suddenly tell you "they'll get a room" and have all sorts of hoops for you to jump through to "maintain their security". A room is demeaning to me. It cheapens the act, and makes me feel like I am nothing more than a secret plaything, just short of being paid for the act, and it usually means they're either deep in the closet, or so paranoid they can't admit they want to have a man. The majority have been in this category.

3) The ones that contact you, and then after a couple of messages are exchanged, you never hear from them again. Not even a reply to any messages.

4) The ones that are 100 or more miles outside your travel radius, but are otherwise perfect matches for your interests and requirements.

All of the contacts I've had in the last 11 years on various sites fall into one (or more) of these categories.

There has only been one exception. We met, got along, he explained his wife didn't know, we still made plans as she was going out of town for a month to visit family overseas, and I never heard from, saw, or encountered him ever again.

Aside from that one, none of them has ever shown up for a meet. Not one. The only conclusion I can draw, is that there are no bisexual or bi-curious men within 120 miles of me. There are a few who claim they are, but none of them ever follow up.

Hence, the decision to give it up.

[SilkyHoseLover]

Pretty good summation, Lancer525.

Although I have met and/or played with a few guys or gurls, I've been in contact with many who fit into the categories you've laid out. In order of frequency, I'd rank them 3, 1, 2, 4.

It's frustrating, but I haven't given up all hope just yet...

[Tag200]

Lancer---do not take this sort of thing "personally." I can tell you---I have had so many guys that I have met online who will say that "I am on my way to your place" only to have them never show and you never hear from them again.

I will often be actually greatly surprised when a guy does show up--that is very much a surprise because it is more the rule than the exception that they don't show up...

When I said to not "take it personally"---that is true because in most situations---the reason that they do not show has NOTHING to do with me or you are anyone else--it has to do WITH THEM.

I know that it is surely true of older guys like myself---we so want and desire to "experience dick" but all of our upbringing, what society tells us and expects of us plays into not ever acting on those desires, wants and needs---but I would have figured that with you being of a younger generation--that would be something not still common--but then again--obviously not.

If you are "going to play this game"---you have to be prepared---that while so many guys "want dick"----when the reality of actually doing so is exciting---they cannot get over the hang ups they have about doing so, so they bail out at the last when there is a very real possibility----they can get up close and personal to and with another guy's cock!

They go running and screaming away......but that they can never get up the nerve to ever do so--they die regretting that they never let themselves experience being with another guy and getting to do at least some of the things that they want to do to and with a real live, hard, warm, cum spurting cock---just like what Plumhead said above....

I agree with what your saying.. I can tell you from personal experience I have often gotten cold feet about meeting. I have never no showed in anyone and never would but I certainly have cancelled or postponed out of guilt of fear or what ever.. not even sure myself .. but I have met some men as planned and have played a little ... looking for that ongoing friend now or when I stop hibernating ...

[Tag200]

I am bi curious and been trying to find someone to show me the way but it has been a bad of time of it I feel for you.

don’t give up , I know it is frustrating but keep going or as others said there will be regret

[Lemonade1184]

When the time is right it will happen! Also I’d advise being as safe as can be. There are a lot of sketchy people out there.

[Sw40c]

I feel your pain. I gave up on using these sites for anything other than eye candy and if I get anything off of them, great! If not, I got some eye candy!

You may not like what I have to say, but when I've needed to get off and I knew I wasn't going to be picky I'd go to the bathhouse a state away when I was sure they'd be busy. Never failed to get some action and always have had some great experiences. Just have to play it safe (condoms, PrEP, etc.). It's a little bit of a culture shock, but every time I go (a few times a year) I know I'm going to get my needs addressed on my own terms and if I walk out of there without getting lucky, it was entirely my choice not to participate. Seriously, it may seem strange but give bathhouses a try - for some of us they're the ideal option. I've even gotten their contact info and hooked up with guys again outside of the bathhouse. Everyone is there to have sex - someone may say "no" but guaranteed there's someone else who'll say "yes."

[proteindump]

There is one category of jerk nobody has touched. It is quite common for teens to troll the ads (CL and now Doublelist). They respond and set up a meet after the usual back and forth emails and make the arrangement somewhere as far away as possible. Then they sit back and laugh, they just had some "fag" drive for an hour to a no show.