ShouldI use this phrase?

[Bothsidesnow73]

I got a crush on a guy I met online and we're making plans to meet and ( probably) fuck next month. Does it sound sexy to say to use the phrase "I want to make love to you". I wonder if that might be too strong for him.

[monaohio]

no its not when you say making love to someone it sounds a lot better then i want to fuck you

[csreef]

no its not when you say making love to someone it sounds a lot better then i want to fuck you

Monaohio is right.

[sysper]

mostly depends on the person. love is a strong word. fuck is fun but not as strong. if ur not looking for anything more than a quickie or a blow n'go, making love is too strong. but that word does put the experiance on another more enjoyable level so if ur open to be more open than just getting off & u think ur new friend feels the same way go for it!

[by~his~side]

My hubby (NJbimale) thinks the phrase "making love" has a romantic/dating vibe to it. If a male partner said he wanted to make love to him, hubby would no longer consider that guy to be a suitable partner. That phrase/that partner sounds like he is interested in a romantic relationship.

In past (serious) relationships, I've made love to my partner(s).
I also have past encounters/experiences where I've fucked and been fucked.
In my (our) opinion, there is a big difference and the way one chooses to word the encounter/experience could end it before it even starts.

Dee

[mot_bc]

Tend to agree with by-his-side. Words can mean something, and if two partners are seeking something more substantial and long term, terms like making love might fit. Until you've gotten to know each other, and reach a point where those thoughts come to mind, and you have a mutual interest in that direction....just go have some fun and use terms like fuck, sex or something without so much emotional weight.

[Stinger78]

That is an excellent point.

[cfr50s]

Why ask us? He is the target, ask him if he finds it ok.

[Bothsidesnow73]

Thanks to all. I decided not to use it. We have plans to hook up in2 weeks.

[sysper]

have fun! :)

[DareMe]

I got a crush on a guy I met online and we're making plans to meet and ( probably) fuck next month. Does it sound sexy to say to use the phrase "I want to make love to you". I wonder if that might be too strong for him.

On a first date? this may send him packing ... ok, maybe after he unloads first. I wouldn't use the word love to quick to emotionally charged. But, let me ask you a question, you start by saying you are going to get fucked and then you say you want to make love to him. I am not sure you have sorted this out yet. My best advice is to take it easy and see where this goes.

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[chiefconsultant63]

I agree with sysper...unless you are looking for ltr just fuck him

[Samdy]

I think making love is too strong, even my wife sometimes likes, let's fuck, better than the love thing

[csreef]

Sorry , but there are a few of us out there that don't use or like the "F" word.

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[Cum1st]

No I won't do your homework. Maybe my dog can help.

To the original poster way back then:

Hope it worked out.

"I want to make loove to you."? How needy is this guy? A month to change his mind? How needy are you? When reeling in a big fish don't sic the dog on it.

[Leo Rabbit]

I got a crush on a guy I met online and we're making plans to meet and ( probably) fuck next month. Does it sound sexy to say to use the phrase "I want to make love to you". I wonder if that might be too strong for him.

You've received lots of solid advice here, BothSides. I agree with those who think "love" is too emotionally loaded. And some people may be turned off by the word "fuck" and it's hard to gauge that online without ever having met. What I do in those cases is just talk about what I want to do, "Oh man you have an awesome looking cock! I can't wait to touch you..." etc. You get the idea. If you've seen photos of him use those as talking points.

[SlowNEZ]

In my opinion, the term “make love” has a strong emotional component, involving excitement, tenderness, caressing, foreplay, perhaps undressing and showering together, then taking great pleasure in pleasing your partner. “Making love” is not over when both partners cum, it includes the after-play, ... warming up for a repeat session later tonight or tomorrow morning.
Whereas the words “fuck”, “suck” and “have sex” connotate fairly quick and purely physical acts, ... it’s over when it’s over ... Sort of: “wham, bam, thank you, ..... sir.”
I favor the former relationship (love-making) ... because that’s my fantasy.
However, I would not recommend actually saying the words: I love you ... those are very special and only meant for one person.
Contra-dick-tory? ...perhaps ... that’s what makes it fun.

[fredward]

Yeah, I would be turned off / scared of "make love". I don't identify as gay, and I would associate that kind of comment with someone seeking an MM LTR, which I am definitely not looking for. FWB might work for me, but the L word sounds like more of a commitment than I'd be interested in pursuing.

I would be up for phrases like "naked fun" or "I want to feel you inside me".

That's just me, tho.

[KDaddy23]

I've had guys say that to me and... it's just something they said. I get the "romanticism" in the phrase and, to be honest, I've never really understood why there's a difference between making love and fucking unless you consider any emotional intent. Some say that, when it's nice and slow and all that, it's making love while hard and fast is just fucking so is making love to someone just taking all the time in the world doing it? Implies a deeper emotional connection? Just sounds good to say it rather than saying, "I wanna fuck your brains out?" I guess it's a personal kind of thing, what it means when you hear it from someone and what you mean if/when you say it to someone.

[Mike29]

I've had guys say that to me and... it's just something they said. I get the "romanticism" in the phrase and, to be honest, I've never really understood why there's a difference between making love and fucking unless you consider any emotional intent. Some say that, when it's nice and slow and all that, it's making love while hard and fast is just fucking so is making love to someone just taking all the time in the world doing it? Implies a deeper emotional connection? Just sounds good to say it rather than saying, "I wanna fuck your brains out?" I guess it's a personal kind of thing, what it means when you hear it from someone and what you mean if/when you say it to someone.

I would say, No. The term, “…making love…”, is about 50 years old. It does not fit in 2021. If the goal is recreational sex with someone, or long term loving relationship, or FWB, or on-going fuck buddy, just say what your goals are, don’t waste their time or yours, telling them what you think they want to hear in order to have sex with them.
Otherwise, expect lots of dram.

[Mike29]

Yeah, I would be turned off / scared of "make love". I don't identify as gay, and I would associate that kind of comment with someone seeking an MM LTR, which I am definitely not looking for. FWB might work for me, but the L word sounds like more of a commitment than I'd be interested in pursuing.

I would be up for phrases like "naked fun" or "I want to feel you inside me".

That's just me, tho.

I agree 100% here.
This is the main reason why many Gay men consider bi-men as being flakes. Gay men can’t understand how a bi-man enjoys gay sex but does not want a loving MM LTR. Just because I enjoy swimming or playing basketball or golf, doesn’t mean I plan to try-out for the NBA or PGA or the Olympics …I do these things for recreation. Recreational sex – should be a simple concept.

[tenni]

Mike29

I don't know if gay men think bisexuals are flakes. My experience with gay men tell me that gay men are more open to having casual, sensual sex with another man but not a woman.
The gay men also will fuck another man and keep it on non personal level. I think that gay men looking at bi men as "flakes" have long passed. Many gay people understand the duality of bisexuals. Some who use this term may have been rejected by a bi man who saves his love for women and they don't want to make love sensuously. It is through honest discourse that any gay people may've about bisexuals can be erased or corrected.

The way that I see it is that using the phrase "make love" is for when you want to relate to another man (or woman) in a sensual manner. You pay attention to your loving partner's reaction and desires and not just your own needs.

"Fuck you" is for when a guy doesn't want to relate interpersonally on a caring level. If you want to "fuck a guy" you don't care what he does other than suck your dick or you suck him. It is chosen by bi men who may be experiencing internal biphobia and fears that another man expressing emotions towards him. (He saves that for women....he thinks)

If the OP has a crush on the other guy, he has already expressed a liking or even emotional caring love. These bi guys who only want dick and not even know anything about another man interpersonally may be in greater numbers on this site than bi men who want to "make love" to another man or woman from this site. If the OP is uncertain that they other guy is probably up to share their emotional attraction as well as physical, the OP could wait on stating that he wants to make love to his lover in person to decide.

Can a guy make love to another man recreationally? I say yes. It is how you sensualize each other but maybe casual one time carnal sex with another horny sensual bi guy.

[Mike29]

Tenni...

The point is…everyone needs to be on the same page regarding what words mean (specifically, what the word love means). You can’t force or assume your understanding or meaning onto someone else. Be clear in what you want and understand words, terms and expressions can mean different things to different people as your reply pointed out.
To me, the word "love" means different things to different people, before I would use the word, I would make sure the other person understood my meaning - until then, I'd avoid using it.

[bikurinpa]

Thanks to all. I decided not to use it. We have plans to hook up in2 weeks.
Dont get ur hopes up! most will ghost out after chatting a few days and if ur lucky will last a week then they will be GONE, no more response.

[Bi-Rõnin]

Having been on the receiving end of both fucked and made love to, I would say it really depends on the sensuality of the encounter. If it is just some oral and quick bang, it was fucked. If there was kissing, exploring, oral, making out and fucking then it was making love. And those things should be said after the fact. Not before