hey all, i could really use an opnion on this please

[Imlostandimfound]

tonight my friend and I were talking about being bisexual, she being the first person that i ever really out right told besides my boyfriend she was intersted too, she was intersted in i guess you could say starting a hook up thing but nothign raelly beucase our bfs are best friends.
now heres the problem, while telling my boyfriend this he seemed to get upset over this becuase he wanted to join in, i told him that right now thats not what its for, i also have a feeling that he thinks that its cheating, but i told him it would only be in front of him, so its not. then he said its not fair because my friend is his best firends gf and it wouldnt be fair cause there is ntohing he can do if it came about...
is it fair that i should not do seomthing with something just because my bf cant join? and also he wants to get with other girls i told him its fine beucase as im trying to find myself so is he... should i let him do this as well
please help me
thanks
Nicole

[tom_uk]

Dear Lost and Found

Congratulations on starting your voyage of discovery, hope it goes well.

As for your boyfriend, it could be time to throw him out, don’t you think?

He thinks its cheating if you try and find your real self. He has no care about you and just wants to fuck two girls at once, and what’s all this about watching?

Sounds like a reject, kick him out and try another.

tom_uk

[Imlostandimfound]

throw him out? we have been together for too long and i love him to much to do that.

its more of the fact that he doesnt want to make it weird between him and his friend. casue my friend is his friends gf.. complicated i know

signed
imlostandimfound

[csrakate]

Nicole..
So much angst at such a young stage in your life.....Take a deep breath...you are putting the cart before the horse here.

You told your friend you were bi...and lo and behold she is too...so you want to hook up....don't you think you should give this some thought first?? Gee...you're good friends...your b/f's are best friends....they aren't cool with the change in the relationship status....How many more red flags do you need????

Don't kick him out just yet....this is all so new to you all....Keep some honest and open communication going...and by all means...don't sneak around....anything done that results in guilt will take all the good away.

Hugs
Kate

[suegeorge]

Nicole..
So much angst at such a young stage in your life.....Take a deep breath...you are putting the cart before the horse here.

You told your friend you were bi...and lo and behold she is too...so you want to hook up....don't you think you should give this some thought first?? Gee...you're good friends...your b/f's are best friends....they aren't cool with the change in the relationship status....How many more red flags do you need????

Don't kick him out just yet....this is all so new to you all....Keep some honest and open communication going...and by all means...don't sneak around....anything done that results in guilt will take all the good away.

Hugs
Kate


I agree. You've got a lot to lose here - your best friend and your boyfriend. If I were you, I'd just keep the lines of communication open between all of you and take things slowly. Very slowly... And don't let anyone talk you into doing something you don't really, really want to do.

Sue


Bisexuality and beyond (http://suegeorgewrites.blogspot.com)

[Seeker72]

i also have a feeling that he thinks that its cheating


also he wants to get with other girls i told him its fine beucase as im trying to find myself so is he... should i let him do this as well
please help me
thanks
Nicole

If he thinks it is cheating then turns around and wants to have sex with other women then he is a hypocrite, and is getting "upset" solely because you wont let him join in.

Given the closeness all four of you have I can only see this ending badly, you could do it behind their backs as being open only seems to create tension, but that in itself creates a new problem for you and you friend to deal with.

Not an easy position to be in.

I hope all goes well for you.

[Imlostandimfound]

yea i see what you mean.. there is no point to rush into anything, just take thigns slow..
thanks everyone for the advice
you were all a great help
Nicole

[Avocado]

You can't blame someone for not wanting to get cheated on! At the end of the day sexual activity with another person is cheating. I'd find it a turn-on to see my fiancee do stuff with another woman but not everyone's the same. Being bisexual doesn't give us special rights which monosexuals aren't entitled to.

[Mrs. Taz]

weather he sees it as fair or not it is. you are the bisexual not him. he dont need two women. if he wants to be with a man then i say go for it. you want a woman cause she can give you what a man cant give you. he has you and is gettin from you what he can already get from a woman. he dont need to act like that. he needs to love you for who you are and try to be as understanding as possible and support you. later if you feel comfortable with a 3some then so be it, but if you go down that road pls be careful on it also. good luck, and dont let him tell you whats best for you and dont let him stop you from finding your true self.

[miamiuu]

tonight my friend and I were talking about being bisexual, she being the first person that i ever really out right told besides my boyfriend she was intersted too, she was intersted in i guess you could say starting a hook up thing but nothign raelly beucase our bfs are best friends.
now heres the problem, while telling my boyfriend this he seemed to get upset over this becuase he wanted to join in, i told him that right now thats not what its for, i also have a feeling that he thinks that its cheating, but i told him it would only be in front of him, so its not. then he said its not fair because my friend is his best firends gf and it wouldnt be fair cause there is ntohing he can do if it came about...
is it fair that i should not do seomthing with something just because my bf cant join? and also he wants to get with other girls i told him its fine beucase as im trying to find myself so is he... should i let him do this as well
please help me
thanks
Nicole


Sounds to me like he has an issue with it so I would just forget about it if you want to stay with your bf.I'm also surprised so many people use being bi on this board as a reason to be promiscuous. If your current relationship was in good shape i dont think you would be looking to bring outsiders into your bed. Being bi is an attraction to the same sex doesn't mean you have to sleep with someone of the same sex. Human beings dont have uncontrollable sex drive like animals.

[Avocado]

weather he sees it as fair or not it is. you are the bisexual not him. he dont need two women. if he wants to be with a man then i say go for it. you want a woman cause she can give you what a man cant give you. he has you and is gettin from you what he can already get from a woman. he dont need to act like that. he needs to love you for who you are and try to be as understanding as possible and support you. later if you feel comfortable with a 3some then so be it, but if you go down that road pls be careful on it also. good luck, and dont let him tell you whats best for you and dont let him stop you from finding your true self.

A man could say that about needing a brunette and a blonde, someone who takes it up the front and up the gary, a think and fat woman, a 20 year old and 40 year old woman, black and white, etc, etc. As far as I'm concerned people can do what they want, as long as they don't try to act like they are entitled to special rights which others cannot (and saying he is entitled to a man is like saying a Muslim can wear a cross so isn't being discriminated against).

We face a long struggle ahead with the "bisexuals can't be happy with a member of 1 sex" stereotype...