Stupid Newbie Question

[pangalactic1969]

I have a feeling that my first encounter ever is imminent. I'm quite nervous about STDs (and as everyone has already told me, as I should be).

I had, and still plan, to probably only enjoy a mutual JO. That definitely will be fine, but someone brought up to me the possibility of oral with condoms. Now, oddly enough even though I'm 44, I've never used a condom due to a monogamous relationship, so i'm not really sure what to expect. Is oral w/ condoms worth considering or is it just not even worth the trouble?

thanks! :flag4:

Pang

[hoofhearted]

That a rather good question to be asking. You can google the gay mens health crisis - san francisco organization. The have links. They have documents. They have been around since the start. I would search other places as well.

There are many baddies that are possible. The risk of hiv is, in my humble opinion, and having survived the great condom shortage of 1982, pretty low - if you are observing reasonable precautions otherwise.

I've never used a condom, I swallow.

[JrzGuy3]

I can't answer the question, but I'm sure other people (whom have experience with this) will in the morning. But as an aside:


The risk of hiv is, in my humble opinion, and having survived the great condom shortage of 1982, pretty low - if you are observing reasonable precautions otherwise.

No offense, but I think that saying "Oh the odds are pretty low" kinda sweeps under the rug the millions of people whom didn't beat them.

If you go out, hook up with a guy (any random guy) and don't practice safe sex, you put yourself at risk. And if you're going to go with "the odds are I'll be fine," then ask yourself how good consolation that's going to be if you get unlucky.

:soapbox:

[Tynary]

You should always use condoms. I know we don't always but thats really a bad thing. Unless you've been going out with someone for quite a while and you know for a fact that they do not have any STDs then its ok not to use condoms (unless its anal sex then you definetly always use condoms always always always) But yes if your going to have oral sex use a condom thats my suggestion just do it. It is just sensible. You could be sorry otherwise. Even if you ask the person if they have stds they cud be lying or they don't know. unless you actually went with them to the linic you don't know so use condoms!

[julie]

...hardly a stupid question!

i've cut and pasted the relevent advice from the avert.org site which may hopefully help you to weigh up the risks yourself and make your own informed choices Pangalactic :bigrin:


...Theoretical and Documented Risk of HIV Transmission During Oral-Penile Contact
Theoretical:

In fellatio, there is a theoretical risk of transmission for the receptive partner (the person who is sucking) because infected pre-ejaculate ("pre-cum") fluid or semen can get into the mouth. For the insertive partner (the person who is being sucked), there is a theoretical risk of infection because infected blood from a partner's bleeding gums or an open sore could come in contact with a scratch, cut, or sore on the penis.
Documented:

Although the risk is many times smaller than anal or vaginal sex, HIV has been transmitted to receptive partners through fellatio, even in cases when insertive partners didn't ejaculate ("cum").

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Theoretical and Documented Risk of HIV Transmission During Oral-Vaginal Contact
Theoretical:

Cunnilingus carries a theoretical risk of HIV transmission for the insertive partner (the person who is licking or sucking the vaginal area) because infected vaginal fluids and blood can get into the mouth. (This includes, but is not limited to, menstrual blood.) Likewise, there is a theoretical risk of HIV transmission during cunnilingus for the receptive partner (the person who is having her vagina licked or sucked) if infected blood from oral sores or bleeding gums comes into contact with vulvar or vaginal cuts or sores.
Documented:

The risk of HIV transmission during cunnilingus is extremely low compared to vaginal and anal sex. However, there have been a few cases of HIV transmission most likely resulting from oral-vaginal sex.

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Theoretical and Documented Risk of HIV Transmission During Oral-Anal Contact
Theoretical:

Anilingus carries a theoretical risk of transmission for the insertive partner (the person who is licking or sucking the anus) if there is exposure to infected blood, either through bloody fecal matter (bodily waste) or cuts/sores in the anal area. Anilingus carries a theoretical risk to the receptive partner (the person who is being licked/sucked) if infected blood in saliva comes in contact with anal/rectal lining.
Documented:

There has been one published case of HIV transmission associated with oral-anal sexual contact.

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Other STDs Can Also Be Transmitted Through Oral Sex

Scientists have documented a number of other sexually transmitted diseases that have also been transmitted through oral sex. Herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, genital warts (HPV), intestinal parasites (amebiasis), and hepatitis A are examples of STDs which can be transmitted during oral sex with an infected partner.

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Reducing the Risk of HIV Transmission Through Oral Sex

The already low risk of becoming infected with HIV from oral sex can be reduced still further by using latex condoms. For cunnilingus or anilingus, plastic food wrap, a condom cut open, or a dental dam can serve as a physical barrier to prevent transmission of HIV and many other STDs.

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Source: This page is based on the Centers For Disease Control Factsheet, "Preventing the Sexual Transmission of HIV, the Virus that Causes AIDS: What You Should Know about Oral Sex" (December 2000) with some editing by Annabel Kanabus and Ben Hills-Jones

More questions about sex are answered in our FAQ section.

Questions about HIV / AIDS are answered in our testing and transmission section.

Last updated July 26, 2005
AVERT home
http://www.avert.org/orlsx.htm

hope this helps? Good luck,and enjoy ;) whatever choices you make P

julie :female:

[pangalactic1969]

Thanks everyone for the replies. This is very informative! I realize I stated my question poorly. So let me try again.

Is a blowjob with a condom pleasurable enough that it is worth doing at all? Because that is the only way I will give/receive one.

[jedinudist]

I can't answer the question, but I'm sure other people (whom have experience with this) will in the morning. But as an aside:



No offense, but I think that saying "Oh the odds are pretty low" kinda sweeps under the rug the millions of people whom didn't beat them.

If you go out, hook up with a guy (any random guy) and don't practice safe sex, you put yourself at risk. And if you're going to go with "the odds are I'll be fine," then ask yourself how good consolation that's going to be if you get unlucky.

:soapbox:

I seriously agree here. I've said for a long time that the odds don't mean shit to the people who didn't beat them - the ones dying of some disease that "odds were" they wouldn't catch.

Check the cdc pages, check reputable medical sites - you can catch every std out there from oral sex! Condoms are no gaurantee that some std's wouldn't be passed from person to person, but they do help.

Best thing is to know the guy behind the penis :) and make sure he knows himself!!! many folks with std's don't yet know they have them because the symptoms have not presented yet.

as for oral sex with a condom on, yeah - it can be pleasurable.

[bithonglover]

Not a stupid question at all. I recently had a 3way with a sexy couple who insisted on using condoms. I certainly have no problems with that but it was the first time I used condoms for oral sex. It was still fantastic and very pleasurable...
There are flavoured ones out there that you can use too.

Have fun,

bithong
:three:

[DiamondDog]

it depends on which STDs you're talking about and if you're giving/reciving it and other factors.

http://www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/stdbasics/stdchart.asp

http://www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/drk/oralsex.asp

If you don't know the person really well use a condom for oral sex.

Anyway, nobody says you have to do penetration with sex.
There are tons of things you can do with a guy without penetrating an orifice that are fun and totally safe.

Also get to know the person, stay alert/aware/sober, ask questions, and examine his cock/body before you do anything with him.

[nick3635]

Like everyone said here .. condoms are a must for anything .. luckily my first experience was with a couple that I knew VERY well ... that is why I also don't sleep around and like to be with people i'm comfortable with and we all know each other.

[mick123]

Do you ever really know someone??? Play it safe! ( I can't stand condoms) but will use them if I have to :tongue:

[nick3635]

Mick - good point your probably never do.

[shameless agitator]

Not a stupid question at all. I recently had a 3way with a sexy couple who insisted on using condoms. I certainly have no problems with that but it was the first time I used condoms for oral sex. It was still fantastic and very pleasurable...
There are flavoured ones out there that you can use too.

Have fun,

bithong
:three:This is good to hear as I wouldn't have considered it otherwise. I would have figured that if a condom was involved it wouldn't be worth the bother. BTW I'm confused.... when you quote somebody you can see the html but when I've tried to include html in some other posts it wouldn't recognize the code. anybody get this?