Do you think that men or women are more prone to seek affairs outside of marriage?

[lucky.cucky]

It seems that in popular culture most people would assume that men are more likely to stray during marriage. However, with the new independence of women, vis-a-vis their financial independence in the workplace - as well as women favorable divorce laws, it may be that women can now follow their natural instincts to seek out the best source for a good father (genetic material) for their offspring. I know that my spouse has strayed, and I have also strayed with other married women, so I believe that it is a most natural instinct for women to seek other loves. What do you think?

[OlderBC1]

I think women are, at the least, just as sneaky as men when it comes to cheating. I've never cheated even once. And I don't want too...I wanna share cock sucking & pussy licking, etc with my little love. I really do love my wife that I've known since 1st grade. I just like dicks too...

[tenni]

I read an interesting summary of a research project on gender differences when it came to having sex outside of a marriage. The conclusion was that there was little difference between genders when it came to cheating. Men and women both statistically cheated equally.

The difference was that women are far more secretive than men and rarely disclose their behaviour to anyone at all. Men are more prone to getting "caught" or telling others about their behaviour.

[Annika L]

it may be that women can now follow their natural instincts to seek out the best source for a good father (genetic material) for their offspring.



I would be *really surprised* to find that such behavior has anything to do with seeking "quality genetic material" for children...my sense is that most cheating (by men and women) is not done for procreative reasons, and that birth control is pretty damned typical.

Love is a different story. But I'm with others who say I have no desire to cheat, but rather to *share* experiences with my partner.

[cuttin2dachase]

I think that women are just as likely as men are to seek sex outside their marriages or relationships. There can be many reasons, but the biggest reason is that their partner is not giving them the kind of sex they want or as much sex as they want. This is true of both genders. I don't think it has anything to do with maternal instinct or paternal instinct. Sex flat out feels great and the excitement and newness of having the kind and amount of sex they want with different partners is what is what drives the desire to seek it out. Cheaters in our culture are frowned upon and considered to be betraying or abandoning their SOs (significant others). But what of the millions and millions of men and women who still love their partner deeply and would never leave or abandon them, but who do pursue their sexual desires and fantasies which their SO's will not or cannot fulfill. I have never thought of it as cheating if the relationship is otherwise strong and there is no intent to end it. It's bound to happen when a man's or woman's libido Is very much stronger than his/her SO's libido. If there is any instinct involved, it's evolved from the hardwired animal desires of our prehistoric ancestors who were not governed or tamed by marriage or culture or morals.

In the case of attached bisexual men and women seeking mm or ff sex, their SO's don't possess the physical attributes they seek. For bi men, it's mostly desire to suck cocks and to get oral sex from other men that they can't get from their SO. A woman can provide her man a good fucking with a strap-on, but it's just not the same as a real cock. I can't speak for women because I ain't one, but I'd posit that for bi women it's breasts, vaginas and the softness/gentleness and maybe oral sex that they can't get from their male SO. If they use strapons it's to get the fucking that their SOs aren't giving them or can't give them. Hell, if a woman's clitoris could magically grow to the size of a 6 or 7 inch cock, I think it would be common heterosexual practice for her SO to suck it until it comes or take it up it his ass for pleasure LOL

[The Galion]

My wife fucked around on me even BEFORE we were married! She claims she hasn't since but I know she'd been a liar for 25 years.
I never strayed until I couldn't take her psycho shit anymore. I STILL did not fuck another person with my big penis.
I'm grumpy.

[lucky.cucky]

Yes, I think you are correct when you say, "I have no desire to cheat, but rather to *share* experiences with my partner.” I do that with my current partner and it makes our marriage much stronger. Of course it also adds a lot of fun and excitement to our marriage also by sharing sex with a 3rd person...male or female. I am truly blessed that this wife is so open minded and loving to share many experiences with me...and other lucky men also.
Lucky.Cucky

[lucky.cucky]

Thanks for the great feedback so far. It is always interesting to see other points of view. FYI - I did not say “cheating" in my original post, because like many of you I believe that these activities are best when shared with a loving spouse. I am blessed to have such a spouse now and have had more in the past. In regards to women enjoying other lovers; I truly believe that women enjoy that as much, and maybe even more than men. My first wife had drunken sex with a friend of mine one night right in front of me for the first time. To tell you the truth I was sad to see it. My 2nd wife also dated and had sex with a friend of hers. By then I was accepting it, and actually starting to get into it. My 3rd wife and I enjoyed a lot of swinging, 3-somes, etc. By the time I got to my 4th wife I was not at all surprised when she came home one night and told me that she had a boyfriend. I accepted it as a natural feeling with adults. Over the years we have had some wonderful fun with nudity and with MFM, FMF, MMF, and small groups. One should try to live life to the fullest if possible.

[OlderBC1]

I don't believe in the open marriage myself. it's share & share alike, or no. It's better to share equally between all involved, but that's my opinion. It seems better that way to me?

[zigzig]

I think both genders cheat equally, but women tend to do it more based on emotions that they lack something with their SO. :love87:I personally never cheated on my husband, but he knows I do fantasise about women & men(more rare though). I think all people have that urge to ,,try out'' someone else besides just be monogamous for the rest of their lives, but the best way is to be honest about it.

[altimer23]

having been married twice and both had affairs, im leaning toward women. not that i minded, the thought of it had me constantly hard. and when they told me their eperiences it was alway followed by amazing sex. bonus, i got to eat them both out after other guys came in them.

[DMercator]

Surveys over the years have consistently shown men cheat more. While I think that's likely true, I suspect the gap isn't as wide as the numbers would indicate. In my experience women, at least women of my generation, tend to be less likely to admit an affair.

I've talked to many married men whose wives enjoyed playing with others at the time only to deny they enjoyed the experience at a later date. I think society puts an additional layer of guilt / blame / shaming on women that they don't put on men. making it less likely they'll admit to affairs, swinging, having been with a large number of partners and so on.