Log in

View Full Version : Why lie to yourself?



masterdsygn
Aug 21, 2006, 9:56 PM
Hello, im new and this is my first forum so with that said please bear with me.

I am in a hetero marriage with my wife of 5 years. We have gone through a lot together, but that is not what i want to discuss.

First, a little background on me. Im 25, ive always known that i was bi. I never really accepted it until I was about 17-18 yrs old and it tore my family apart. They could not let me be me, without judging me and trying to change me. So I left, and I have not returned. I still live in the same area as them I just never see them. So anyways, I am fairly experienced with men and really experienced with women.

Second, you will need to know some of mine and my wifes sexual experiences to really help me so here it goes. I will try to maintain a level of censorship for those that might be offended.

My wife in every aspect of life except sex is 100% vanilla. I have talked her into doing things that she is not comfortable doing, but she tries to please me.

I have gotten her to become very dom, not what i expected to come out of her but it did...and im fairly sub ...so that works well. However if she could use a strap on to sodomize me, kiss other women, flirt all the time with women and men, givin golden showers, "rolled" with me for the sensuality aspect of the drug(even though she is very drug opposed), done tons of role play(her favorite), used sex toys and bondage toys, used food, fruit, knives, oils, and anything else that we could conceivably use, fire, ice, spontaniety, public(almost got caught) sessions(on more than 50 occcassions), planned sessions with the kids gone, and i think that covers most of it....she has done a lot for me and most of it she enjoys but she wont admit it to me or to herself that she enjoys it. so i am so confused. She tells me that shell never have a 3 or more some-but then she kisses women in front of me and tells me that she is going to go f*ck vanessa, or becka, or so and so ....and that im not invited.....wtf? IS SHE BI? Im Lost why all the pretending, or is she doing it for me cus she knows im bi.


the question summed up is this:
My question is that if she can perform all of these acts--is she bi, and just lieing to herself....or is that just my wishful thinking.
any help is appreciated.
im posting this to learn all your thoughts on this situation....ty for ur time
ttyl


come see me at http://www.myspace.com/morbiddragonsdomicile

Nara_lovely
Aug 21, 2006, 10:22 PM
OK...I'll suggest something.

She may not be lying to herself.

You said you always knew, but didn't accept it till late teens.
She has (from the sound of it) opened up to all the ideas of sexual exploration..yet cannot admit the enjoyment.

Could it be that she just needs the time to get her head around everything that has gone on? Deeper issues of faith, family background, etc may be holding her back? Someday she'll be able to admit it, or at least understand herself well enough to be able to voice what she believes she is (or is not).

Everyone needs the time to work themselves out. I hope you'll be the first to KNOW when she does!

In the meantime....enjoy the journey together.

masterdsygn
Aug 22, 2006, 3:06 AM
nara, thank you for your help with this matter.
I did consider that it may be morally influenced. She has no faith in anything. She was severely abused as a child, physically, sexually, and psychologically. I think that may have soemthing to do with her reserved reactions or the reaction to be a constant B*TCH to all men, f*ck it; shes like that to everyone all the time.

glantern954
Aug 22, 2006, 7:57 AM
I don't know much about BDSM, but it sounds to me like she is just empowering herself in her dom role. She probably noticed that hearing her talking about fucking others helps convince you that she "means business."

anne27
Aug 22, 2006, 8:09 AM
IMNOHO, it looks like she is just trying to please and tease you. :2cents:

masterdsygn
Aug 22, 2006, 9:53 PM
SHE IS BI...and ready! we talked tonight. but im not allowed to play without her
im so happy! ;)

masterdsygn
Aug 22, 2006, 9:54 PM
thanks to all who help with this issue! hugs and kisses! :three:

Nara_lovely
Aug 22, 2006, 11:15 PM
Whooooo Hoooooooo!

Glad you two talked!! (you do sound happy too)


Love Care Respect Honesty Patience

all great qualities for a relationship

(Fun too)

masterdsygn
Aug 23, 2006, 3:05 PM
im soooooogald we talked to nara, by the way ...she wants to meets u and thank you..... she read what u posted and said it really helped. She will be coming here with me in the near future....

Herbwoman39
Aug 23, 2006, 4:25 PM
That's WONDERFUL that the two of you have such open communication :-)

I wasn't mentally capable of comming out to myself until just before my 38th birthday. It takes a real act of bravery to be able to come out not only to yourself but also to your spouse.

Congratulations :-)