not into orientation labels?

[DiamondDog]

Is anyone else here not into using traditional orientation labels?

By this I mean that you don't use an orientation label, make one of your own up, don't believe in them, or don't see the need for them?

"Bi" makes sense to me but I don't use it because I don't see gender/sexuality in binary terms.

Sexuality CAN NOT be placed in a box. It DOES NOT mold well to categories. There is a lot of variation between straight, bi, and gay orientations. Everyone is different. At the end of the day, a person is free to define themselves however they wish and it is not our place to judge that and to say, because you don't meet criteria a, b, c therefore you are not bi, etc.

I've always found whatever label one wishes to use with me far less important or even completely unimportant relative to what and who I really am. "Straight", "bi", "gay", "queer", "asexual", none of it has the slightest importance to me because my focus is always on what sort of sex suits me here and now. It could be sex with another man, it could be sex with a woman, it could be sex with a diverse group of both, with a transsexual, BDSM, or no sex at all.

I've explored many possibilities and consider my explorations unfinished. Without focusing on the label, I'm free to be fluid and, without a specific label for others to stick on me, they are left unable to categorize and thus limit their conclusions about who what I am. I am free to evolve and change at will and the judgments of others are left to evolve and change. That is precisely what is right for any lifeform and certainly what is right for a human being.

Ignore entirely these labels our cultures labor so hard to cling to. Leave your sexuality open-ended and hard-to-define. You'll be vastly more free and your life will be vastly more organic and that's always a good thing. Labels, categories, hard definitions suffocate and it's best not to use them with the living.

I don't like cookie cutter models of something that is rather complex. Personally, I like to identify as miscellaneous. Or non-straight. Just sexual. Or sexually fluid. Or queer. I tend to think of me as myself, not as "gay" or "straight" or "bi".

It is not important for us to understand someone's orientation unless we are to pursue some sort of sexual thing with them or they decide to take the time to explain it.

I don't go by the Kinsey scale because it just measures past sexual behaviour, not desire. I have been all over it, and I have found that most people rate themselves too low. I also think that the scale is out dated in today's fluid sexual society.

I have been up and down the scale at different times of my life or with different people, and I don't feel that it's a good indicator of who I am.

The Klein grid makes sense for a spectrum of human sexuality, for me anyway but I don't go by it since I don't need or want a number, ratio, or a percent to define something as complex as my sexuality.

[Boogie2u]

im with you 100%
it seems to be human nature to put everything into boxes....i dont like boxes of any kind. it also seems a futile task to me in the grand scheme of things, we are all here for such a short time, why cant we just accept that we are all part of the same thing, birth , life , death. putting things in boxes doesnt make the journey of life go any smoother in my opinion.

[snipped]

Call me anything you want except collect or late for dinner. :bigrin:

[julie]

...for many years i described my sexuality as 'transcending gender' or 'ambivilant'.. yet when i found this site and identified with others i started to use the 'bi-sexual' label for ease of use..

..and yet...and yet... i dont like it! it sounds like a cliche... so i am thinking of stopping using it and reverting back to my former descriptions...

...thanks for posting this DD.. it has given he a well timed kick up the arse :bigrin: (british for ass!)

..love julie :female:

[12voltman59]

I agree with DD--I don't much care for any label--why be stuck in a box?---

[Herbwoman39]

Unfortunately humans tend to codify and label things to death. Hell, even we as human beings have labes. They're called names :)

I only use the word "bisexual" to identify my sexuality because it is commonly understood. I hate doing it because it automatically dumps me into a stereotype category by those who don't understandy or are uneducated on the subject.

What else can we do though? Any label already has a meaning and it's difficult to describe our sexuality without SOME kind of label.

:2cents:

[Lorcan]

I only use the word "bisexual" to identify my sexuality because it is commonly understood. I hate doing it because it automatically dumps me into a stereotype category by those who don't understandy or are uneducated on the subject.
:2cents:

I agree. We don't really need label for just ourselves. But we need labels to talk about things. If i wanted to talk about what i was sitting on, i would use the label "chair". It's a pretty simple label, and you wouldn't know exactly what kind of chair it was. But if i wanted i could tell you more (black desk roller chair from Wal-mart :rolleyes: )

I feel the same way about using the word "bi" You don't know what kind of bi i am, but it's a starting point for conversation.

[gentlepen9]

I use the term "bisexual" because it's conveniant even though it's a label full of misconceptions and stereotypes. But personally I like term "fluid". A more rare term I like is "ambisexual". I like that because it seems to denote "both" rather than "two" as with bi. But in all I really wish none of it mattered. I can't wait for the day when we can love each other and be inlove with each other regardless of gender, sex, race, religion, social status and whatever else we use to keep humanity divided into clicks and groups.

[gh05t]

It's not how you describe yourself to other people that counts,
they will find some way to use that handle to pick you up and throw you at something.
It's how you describe yourself to yourself that really matters...

"Above all to thine own self be true."

[Long Duck Dong]

in new zealand we have a ad on the tv about mental illness and it fits nicely here

Know me BEFORE you JUDGE me

labels lead to false judgements.....false judgements lead to people thinking they are right.... and they are proud to be right.... but pride comes before a fall lol

[the sacred night]

I was just recently telling this very principle to a friend of mine who says she's confused about her orientation. I basically told her that whatever word you feel most comfortable with is the one for you, because there is no clear cut line or cutoff point where you can definitely say this person fits into this group, and there isn't a set of criteria that you have to satisfy in order to be that orientation. Sexuality, much like every other aspect of the human experience, is far too complex and each individual far too unique for three categories to fit all, and since it is so unique to the individual, no one can presume to understand another's sexuality better than she understands it herself and say "you have labeled yourself wrong, you are actually this."

I use the word bisexual because I feel it describes me more accurately than any other term out there for sexual orientation, and I have no problem with that, but just because you are attracted to both genders doesn't necessarily mean bisexual is the word for you... there is always pansexual, or a word I haven't heard in awhile, omnisexual, there is fluid or even "just sexual." All of those terms and probably others I've left out undoubtedly describe someone out there, but I don't feel they are right for me because of the way my sexuality is structured, the "bi" meaning "two" is very very appropriate for me, but it may not be for others whose sexuality is not structured in a binary way, like people who are sexually fluid. My sexuality is not like that; my attractions to men and women are distinct from each other, it's not one whole "I'm just attracted to people" thing, there are actually 2 separate parts for me, but clearly for a lot of you they are one. Just goes to prove our point, that all people and their sexualities are unique.

[bohemia]

When I (Jude, fem) began exploring my true sexual nature several years ago, I came up with the term "fully sexual" to describe how I am and it`s a term my partner Paul likes too. It encapsulates my conviction that everyone has the capacity to love and be sexually attracted to people of any gender, it`s a matter of chemistry and connection between individuals. I believe we are on the cutting edge of human evolution here, challenging the restrictive social mores that have kept humankind imprisoned for so long. So yes, lets define ourselves in whatever way feels comfortable and celebrate who we are without restriction! :bipride:

[Nara_lovely]

At no time in my life, did I ever seem to fit into a box or a label. Yes I consider myself Bi, at least it's a term I use to describe to others. I honestly prefer to just be ME.

So much so, that awhile ago, I used a method of 'muscle testing' with a friend to discover how congruent I was with who I am. I was fine with being in love with a woman (being female myself) and was fine with being me...but was not ok with being Bi, nor straight, nor lesbian, nor any other descriptive. Yet..checking further, it was discovered I was not ok with labels.

Looks like I'm still stubbornly able to be ME and let the box be used for packing up odds and ends.
So I must agree with the ideals within this post. I am not into orientation labels.