Have you ever fucked a white feather duster while screaming AFLAC

[chtampa]

and watching Insurance Commercials on television?

[Annika L]

*sigh* As usual, the polls on here just don't give you the option you need.

Where is "No, but it's a fucking brilliant poll"??

[iwantamouthfull]

I thought that I was the only one that does that. It great to know that I am not alone..........unless you were just asking out of curiosity in which case, no I've never done that.

[Waylon]

That is on my bucket list, actually.

[Melody Dean]

36542

[Annika L]

36542

Oooh! Do they come in white, Melody?? :tongue:

[Melody Dean]

Oooh! Do they come in white, Melody?? :tongue:

No. :( But there is a bunny one:
36546

Oh, the things I google... I also found out that there is a store called Butt Plug Barn.

[chub-bi]

I have a tough time screaming Aflac with feathers in my mouth.

[coyotedude]

I might consider a threesome with the AFLAC duck and the Geico gecko.

[charles-smythe]

http://imagehost.thasnasty.com/?di=2OVR

[chtampa]

http://imagehost.thasnasty.com/?di=2OVR
What did this picture have to do with this thread?

[Hoosier]

No. :( But there is a bunny one:
36546


It would probably look better on(in)you than it would me :)

[JayGrimm]

Fuck a duck
written by Quackalishus


Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck
Screw a kangaroo
69 a porcupine
Orgy at the zoo

Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck
Screw a kangaroo
Finger an orangutang
Orgy at the zoo

Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck
Screw a kangaroo
Eat a grape, rape an ape
Orgy at the zoo

Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck
Screw a kangaroo
Masturbate with a snake
Sunning at the zoo

Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck
Gently in the ass
Roll around on the ground
Until you cum at last!

[Sigstache]

Haha! I considered starting some pole_smoker parody threads too

[BiBedBud]

Haha! I considered starting some pole_smoker parody threads too
^^^^^^^
Whatever do you mean by that?


Seriously though, I am grateful for this thread, even though it has brought up some difficult feelings for me. It all started one night in South Baltimore. I was drinking in a bar trying to pick-up a couple of beefy longshoremen when in walks this blind man with his seeing-eye duck.

Well, let me tell you, as soon as I laid eyes on that duck – I could see that he was peering through my soul. I was magnetically drawn to the duck, and I cast aside all thoughts of fucking longshoremen that evening. I wanted to fuck that duck.

Now I will admit it might have been because the duck was very dapper. I mean, of all the ducks I’ve seen in my time, this was the first duck I’ve ever seen, to sport a diamond necklace. Ordinarily, wealth isn’t that kind of a draw for me, because I’ve found that most wealthy people can be quite dull and unexciting; perhaps even more conservative than average people. But this duck had panache! Not only because of the obvious fashion sense, the diamonds offsetting the feathers so remarkably; there was just this magnetic, RAW ANIMAL APPEAL!

At any rate, I was already pretty drunk (from drinking with the longshoremen); so when I strolled up to the bar and took a stool to get closer to the duck – I was very excited when he waddled over to me. It was PURE ANIMAL LUST from the very start our eyes LOCKED!

Even though I couldn’t really afford it, I bought a round, trying to get friendly with the duck, and the duck warmed right-up to me! By this time, all the longshoreman in bar were gathering around this extremely attractive duck, and I was worried that someone else was going to get the duck away from the bar for a fuck. But I wanted the duck all to myself!

I started to sweet-talk the duck, and to my AMAZEMENT the duck had more charm and better game than any duck I’ve ever tried to ‘get with’. He set the tone, and from then on, I just ***knew*** that the duck would be topping me!

But there were all these longshoremen who wanted to get in on the same game as me; and I wasn’t about to lose the competition for this duck’s fucking attention! Once again, AMAZING ME, this dapper duck suggested we “go into the back” and fool around – right there in the bar, with all these eager longshoremen in the front of the bar!

I couldn’t resist, and I do remember following the duck into the back room to fuck…… But now I have to wonder if already by that time, someone had slipped something into my drink! What happened next, I truly don’t remember.

Did the duck fuck me? Did I fuck the duck? I couldn’t tell!

AFLAC!

But now, whenever I think about it, my Tourette Syndrome acts-up and I…….

AFLAC!

I just can’t help it, but for sometimes hours on end I………..

AFLAC!

I can’t get a thought-out because…..

AFLAC!

AFLAC!

AFLAC! AFLAC!

AFLAC!

Alls I know is, next day when I woke-up hungover in a vacant in West Baltimore, I ran into Bubbles. He took one look at me and asked me straight-up “What the fuck happened to you? You look like you got fucked by a duck!” and he was right, I was covered in duck feathers, especially around my nose and my mouth. My ass had feathers in it too.

Before I could wrap my head around the possibility that I had been date-raped by that dapper duck, Bubbles hit me with it: He said “Word on the street is you killed that duck!”

"What, that duck is fuckin' dead?" I asked him, and he just nodded slowly.


I asked him who was saying that and he told me it was Ziggy Subotka down at the port, and that the PO-LICE were out looking for me to pin me for that body. I was shocked! I told Bubbles the last I knew, that duck was alive and waddling and that I certainly didn’t kill him, but he didn’t seem convinced.

I had to flee Baltimore to escape that rap. Now I’m just trying to ‘stay in the wind’, and so help me God, I’ll never get sexy with a duck in a diamond necklace, ever again!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3dmHYpZ2eY

I hope this isn't off topic for this thread, but I just didn't know where else I could share this traumatic experience, and I think I could use some support. Any kind suggestion most welcome. I could use some compassion on this -- even though I stand accused of duckycide.