Pressure...

[Peachy]

Hey ladies and gents...

I have a situation. I am married. My wife and I are both involved with the same man. It is becoming a wonderful situation, with tons of possibilities. We really enjoy it.

Our boyfriend sometimes feels overwhelmed with it all and worries that he'll never have equality in the relationship. Any tips on making the playing field more level between the three of us? I think we're making it as even as possible with all the same opportunities and rules (see below) that my wife and I have. What else can we do to make him more comfortable?

Also, as far as rules go: Faithfulness is a requirement. He doesn't necessarily have a physical problem with this. But he doesn't think it's necessary if one of us gets the opportunity/desire to act outside of the relationship. I don't agree...how much should I give on this issue or should I stick to my guns completely?

Thanks in advance for any response and advice you can offer. I think this relationship could really be beautiful and worth a try.
Peachy.

[Long Duck Dong]

grins.... you created it, you fix it...lol

seriously tho....... you need to post a lil more about the situation as its hard to offer any help or advice with the lil info you have shared

hand on a sec.... I am sensing something that is not being said and without talking to ya boyfriend i can't be sure but .......

he wants to be loved for him, not as a fuck buddy......but as a complete person... and thats causing part of the trouble in the relationship.... you seriously need to decide what you are gonna do.... demand that he remains faithful to you and ya wife, or give him the freedom to find a partner for himself too
you have your wife to love and hold, and him to fuck....he has you and ya wife to fuck.....where is the love ???? and i am not talking about fuck love.... I am talking about relationship/ partner love

[glantern954]

All I can say is that it can be very difficult to make a 3rd party feel as an equal when you are married. No matter what you do, I think that marriage will always seem like the primary one. Frequently, as a 3rd person becomes closer to one person in the marriage the more likely the other is to become jealous or insecure and issues come up. I'm not saying it is not possible, it's just not easy for most people.

As part of a married couple, I had a hard time asking the 3rd party to not be open to dating others or establishling their own primary relationship. Partially, because I did not want my primary relationship to change, nor did I want that person feeling like they needed to compete for something they would never have with either of us.

Again, just my experience on the couple times this came up for us.

[neveen]

i'm gonna sound like a fuddy dud and say 3 ways can never work long term, someone always gets hurt or feels left out or desires someone who needs only them...fun while it lasted eh? :three:

[Lorcan]

you don't have to have the same rules for everyone. just what works. if we had a third, i wouldn't expect him to be solely for us, although we are soley for eachother. as the relationship grew, he might want to become soley for us....like marriage. but "marriage" is up to him.