The difference between sexual roles and gender

[Melody Dean]

Do you find yourself taking on a different role depending on what gender you are with?

For example, the most alpha male I've been with is bi and is completely submissive with men, but naturally dominant with women.

For me, I'm more submissive to men (but can do a bit of role reversal when needed), but prefer to be equal give and take with women. Of course, it all depends on the relationship too.

[charles-smythe]

Do you find yourself taking on a different role depending on what gender you are with?

For example, the most alpha male I've been with is bi and is completely submissive with men, but naturally dominant with women.
…Couldn’t have described myself any better…

[sysper]

with men i usually imagine myself being sub, but with women my mood varies.

[Lisa (va)]

For me I take the same 'role' with a man or woman, the more passive partner. To me, I am who and what I am, the gender of my partner doesn't change that.

Lisa
hugs n kisses

[centillini]

I have always dreamed of being sub with a lady and shemale, but always been the dom with guys and gals

[tenni]

I had a good fwb who made similar statements. He was more alpha with a woman and definitely sub with another man. He was curious as to his behaviour and we discussed it briefly. I got the impression that he saw being in charge as a societal expectation as well as his culture but the real him wanted not to be that way...not sure but that was the impression that he got. I tend to take the lead with both genders but am a bit more open to a woman initiating sex play. I'm fine with both but seem to prefer to lead.

[pole_smoker]

I had a good fwb who made similar statements. He was more alpha with a woman and definitely sub with another man. He was curious as to his behaviour and we discussed it briefly. I got the impression that he saw being in charge as a societal expectation as well as his culture but the real him wanted not to be that way...not sure but that was the impression that he got. I tend to take the lead with both genders but am a bit more open to a woman initiating sex play. I'm fine with both but seem to prefer to lead.
LMAO tenni you only have male fuck buddies, but who would even want an actual "relationship" or real partnership with you? LOL you had a "wife" but she saw how you hate women and have issues with women, and ran for the hills but told you to get professional help.

You're also not a LMAO "alpha" male even if you want to pretend you are. You suck and get sucked, and don't mind eating ass. Eventually you will wind up bottoming and get fucked up the ass.

Neither myself or my husband are into dom/sub roles, games, etc. no matter who we're having sex with and whatever their sex/gender is.

[jem_is_bi]

With men, I mostly enjoy being in the sub role, provided I am the one in control of all the activity. With women, I don't want to be in a sub role, but I do want to fulfill their needs.

[elian]

Submissive by default, but every once in a while my partner does something or acts a certain way and I become more dominant. Giving a massage might be a good example - starts out almost non-sexual but it can be sensual and with certain body movements and certain reactions from a partner being submissive I find myself with wet underwear afterward.

Of course, if someone trusts you enough to physically open up to you like that, telling you about past regrets or things they really need - do you really want to ruin it by "going there" ? I have been known to hold genitals or brush up against them as part of the massage but full on sex/masturbation just seems like it might cheapen a good, trusting, loving moment between two people.

Then again I guess most people aren't as inhibited about sex as I am, oh well - there are worse things to be in the world.

..and no, I'm not a professional massuse, but I think it might be a fun career to try..most everyone likes touch.

[darkeyes]

LMAO tenni you only have male fuck buddies, but who would even want an actual "relationship" or real partnership with you? LOL you had a "wife" but she saw how you hate women and have issues with women, and ran for the hills but told you to get professional help.

You're also not a LMAO "alpha" male even if you want to pretend you are. You suck and get sucked, and don't mind eating ass. Eventually you will wind up bottoming and get fucked up the ass.

Neither myself or my husband are into dom/sub roles, games, etc. no matter who we're having sex with and whatever their sex/gender is.
*stalks* U h8 every1 so stop being such a hypocritical tit, Poley...

...and how do u live with a sex life which is soooooo dull and boring.. u just don't seem 2 enjoy or do ne thing... except mayb slagging peeps off on this site...:eek2:

[tenni]

I certainly do not look at being the partner who takes the lead as being dom or sub. Dom or sub is role playing and natural behaviour is not role playing at all. I think that some people have a tendency to lead and others may be thrust in to leadership roles but if they do well, accept that role.

It simply is a natural approach without thinking. An alpha male or female is the natural leader, he/she is a pack-builder. He/she leads, provides for and protects his/her pack (his significant other, his buddies, his teammates, and so on). In a relationship there is often an alpha sexual role. The one who is the natural leader in sexual activity. I suppose it is generally often referred to other leadership roles but the thread is about sexual roles.

Unlike pack animal like dogs, alpha behaviour does not seem to be gender specific in polite societies today. Some may argue that beyond sex, leadership may vary and have nothing to do with gender or sexual behaviour. One gender may be the best to do certain tasks within the pack or family. Another relationship may have a different gender doing that task or acting as the leader. Society is changing but there may be many relationships where their sexual role aligns with their non sexual behaviour.

You are correct darkeyes...pole is a hypocritical tit who attempts to dominate/ bully others who post here.:tongue: :three::bounce::devil: He creates poll after poll about sexual behaviour that he does not do. There is always an undertone of arrogance and looking down on others who do not do as he does. He reminds me of the old "church lady". ;) :yikes2: He knows nothing about anyone 's sexual life other than what they post on his polls or other places on the site. He will even alter what they have previously posted in his attempts to cyber bully.(don't believe any yellow quote boxes from him) Yet, he labels others as his imagination sees them in his attempts to dominate them and the site. He is first to throw stones at anyone who doesn't go by his narrow "church lady" values and roles.

[pole_smoker]

I certainly do not look at being the partner who takes the lead as being dom or sub. Dom or sub is role playing and natural behaviour is not role playing at all. I think that some people have a tendency to lead and others may be thrust in to leadership roles but if they do well, accept that role.

It simply is a natural approach without thinking. An alpha male or female is the natural leader, he/she is a pack-builder. He/she leads, provides for and protects his/her pack (his significant other, his buddies, his teammates, and so on). In a relationship there is often an alpha sexual role. The one who is the natural leader in sexual activity. I suppose it is generally often referred to other leadership roles but the thread is about sexual roles.

Unlike pack animal like dogs, alpha behaviour does not seem to be gender specific in polite societies today. Some may argue that beyond sex, leadership may vary and have nothing to do with gender or sexual behaviour. One gender may be the best to do certain tasks within the pack or family. Another relationship may have a different gender doing that task or acting as the leader. Society is changing but there may be many relationships where their sexual role aligns with their non sexual behaviour.

You are correct darkeyes...pole is a hypocritical tit who attempts to dominate/ bully others who post here.:tongue: :three::bounce::devil: He creates poll after poll about sexual behaviour that he does not do. There is always an undertone of arrogance and looking down on others who do not do as he does. He reminds me of the old "church lady". ;) :yikes2: He knows nothing about anyone 's sexual life other than what they post on his polls or other places on the site. He will even alter what they have previously posted in his attempts to cyber bully.(don't believe any yellow quote boxes from him) Yet, he labels others as his imagination sees them in his attempts to dominate them and the site. He is first to throw stones at anyone who doesn't go by his narrow "church lady" values and roles.
*yawn* What's your point? Did you say something?

No I don't alter or change what people post or lie about it. You have written about how you have done bareback/unprotected anal sex with a man, and that you like to suck cock and eat ass. Other people have written about what they are into doing sexually.

Yes and you're the ultimate hypocrite and only cyber-bully on this site since you have a long history of stalking/cyber-bullying and harassing people who you don't like, and you have been banned for it before.

These are pictures of the troll and cyber-bully Tenni.

http://s12.postimg.org/lvoa3h57h/troll.jpg

http://www.novacancyart.com/uploads/2/7/3/5/2735897/_1663502.jpg?178


No, Jim Riley, it isn't. Not editing that out either... hide some more?

[iamgarbanzo]

I'm definitely sub with men, can be more equal with women, but enjoy being sub with them, too, when I can. Women usually expect you to take the lead at least some of the time.

[cuttin2dachase]

I am an everyday, easygoing guy-next-door type. I go out of my way to treat other people as I would like to be treated. Most of the time, I am the same way in bed. Sexually, I am not naturally dominant, preferring to be equal partners with female and male lovers and pleasing by them by doing the things they like or suggest and having them please me by doing to me the things I like or suggest. I usually do end up taking the lead and steering our sexual activities without directing them. I have no desire to be submissive or to be told what to do by either gender, however I do enjoy it when a female or male lover wants to be submissive, worship me and have me take control and use/dominate them sexually. It's kinky roleplay to me and part of pleasing them which in turn pleases me physically as well as stroking my ego. It can be quite an exciting variation from conventional or vanilla str8 or bi sex.

I wouldn't mind at all having a submissive male FWB at my beckon call strictly for semi-regular D/S sexploration, but I couldn't have an exclusively D/S arrangement with a woman. It's been drilled into me since childhood that women are not to be hit, hurt, raped, degraded or treated as strictly sex objects. Many men never get that message, but I did, plus I don't possess the type of personality that would desire to make any woman my permanent submissive slave, although occasional D/S roleplay with a woman is fun within limits. With submissive men there are fewer limits and they crave to be used, degraded and treated strictly as a sexual object. For me the feeling of power and control is more intense with sub men than it is with sub women.

[tenni]

*yawn* What's your point?

I do alter or change what people post. Everyone knows that. You have to be an honorable human not to.

if I'm a good boy today, I can get cirucmsized tomorrow. I'm tired of having foreskin. My mommy wants me to clean my room now. bye.

[/I]

Of course, Pole is the only one who can alter quotes. lol

[pole_smoker]

Of course, Pole is the only one who can alter quotes. lol
Typical trolling and cyber-bullying Tenni. :rolleyes:

I don't alter anything you post, but keep giving random bi and gay married men who you're the booty call and personal cumrag for Hepatitis and other STDs that you have and are a carrier of. ;)

[jem_is_bi]

LMAO tenni you only have male fuck buddies, but who would even want an actual "relationship" or real partnership with you? LOL you had a "wife" but she saw how you hate women and have issues with women, and ran for the hills but told you to get professional help.

You're also not a LMAO "alpha" male even if you want to pretend you are. You suck and get sucked, and don't mind eating ass. Eventually you will wind up bottoming and get fucked up the ass.

Neither myself or my husband are into dom/sub roles, games, etc. no matter who we're having sex with and whatever their sex/gender is.
Your answer is so very much like your cum spurting dick picture replies, except, with words replacing cum. Is that why you use the spurting dick picture?

[pole_smoker]

Is that why you use the spurting dick picture?
No.

I use that picture because a lot of people here like it.

[PamelaBiPantyboy]

I am Transgendered, and currently transitioning. I don`t know where my gender roles will settle out , but hope the be the soft passive girl with both men and women when the sex change is complete.
I have always been the passive girl when I am with men, and hope this continues. I was the Manly lead with females , but want to be the girls girl passive softness with females now

[Hoosier]

Do you find yourself taking on a different role depending on what gender you are with?

For example, the most alpha male I've been with is bi and is completely submissive with men, but naturally dominant with women.

For me, I'm more submissive to men (but can do a bit of role reversal when needed), but prefer to be equal give and take with women. Of course, it all depends on the relationship too.
I'm definitely an Alpha (professionally ,and in public( Kind of the old NCO type) , not completely submissive with men,and ladies know what makes them cum the best.

[Cum1st]

I don't feel that I'm dominant or submissive with either gender. To me the best mutual sex is when both parties work to satisfy the other. Even when giving a BJ with no recip I was giving and getting. If the guy wanted to dominate, other than giving it to him the way he wanted it, I wasn't particularly submissive.

A GF and I tried some role playing based in her cycle which was a pretty cool change, but it drifted back to sharing our equipment and abilities. The times that I held her wrists together over her head in one hand or she was tied spread eagle to a hospital bed she was probably wanting to be sub, but I was acting and she felt comfortable knowing it. What turned her on turned me on. There was one time that I stuffed her skimpy, silky panties in her mouth while she was restrained. She could have spit them out without consequences but she didn't. She did ask me not to do it again afterward as we lay together in each other's arms sweaty and spent.

The extremely dominant women I've known used sex to control. Sex with them would be incredible at first, then degenerate to a carrot on a stick.

I've only had a get together LTR with one man. There were some things he didn't like to do. Fine, no problem. If I had had a relationship with a domineering man I'm sure I'd have something to add on that subject.

[charles-smythe]

http://imagehost.thasnasty.com/?di=SEAR

[darkeyes]

Am not anything at the moment since matters nookie are on hold for a while... but have always been primarily the more submissive with partners.. it was always true with men and remains so with women mostly. Occasionally I do play the dominant role, for variety is as they say, the spice of life and this is as true in sex as anything else, but also because while sexually I prefer dominant women, I have never ruled out sex with other submissives and currently do have one such lover.. and in any case, we must do all in our power to prevent boredom setting in and keeping lovers and partners happy and satisfied. I enjoy the change too... it isn't my preference, but always find it fun and it is serpently enjoyable (for all concerned me hopes!).

There is 1 area wer in wich I much prefer 2 play the dominant role however, and that is tribbing.... it is the only area I can be considered as the domme in sex and 2 some degree it is purely selfish on my part but being so generally guarantees more reliable and consistent clitoral contact (on my clit) tho I do make every effort for the act 2 b mutually satisfying and if I may say so mostly with some success... it is a preference but tribbing "on top" isn't exclusive. It is luffly the other way 2....:impleased

Finally.. there is a school of thought amongst me m8s that the submissive is the more controlling partner and therefore the true dominant... The jury is out as far as I am concerned about that claim, but it may have some validity. However, I am yet 2 b convinced...:)

[Melody Dean]

Yeah, I'm not talking lifestyle Sub and Dom, but more, who leads or takes control, and who follows.

Darkeyes brought up a good point. I do sometimes "top from the bottom." If I think the other person I'm with needs some help, or if my needs aren't being met, I'll redirect the action, then hope they take back over when they are comfortable.

[tenni]

Yeah, I'm not talking lifestyle Sub and Dom, but more, who leads or takes control, and who follows.

Darkeyes brought up a good point. I do sometimes "top from the bottom." If I think the other person I'm with needs some help, or if my needs aren't being met, I'll redirect the action, then hope they take back over when they are comfortable.

I agree that you can lead a partner without playing sexual games like Top /bottom, Dom/Sub.

I wonder if men tend to top from the bottom or even see it that way? Lead from a traditional female role. There may be a gender difference as to how a person leads based on their gender.

[pole_smoker]

Am not anything at the moment since matters nookie are on hold for a while... but have always been primarily the more submissive with partners.. it was always true with men and remains so with women mostly. Occasionally I do play the dominant role, for variety is as they say, the spice of life and this is as true in sex as anything else, but also because while sexually I prefer dominant women, I have never ruled out sex with other submissives and currently do have one such lover.. and in any case, we must do all in our power to prevent boredom setting in and keeping lovers and partners happy and satisfied. I enjoy the change too... it isn't my preference, but always find it fun and it is serpently enjoyable (for all concerned me hopes!).

There is 1 area wer in wich I much prefer 2 play the dominant role however, and that is tribbing.... it is the only area I can be considered as the domme in sex and 2 some degree it is purely selfish on my part but being so generally guarantees more reliable and consistent clitoral contact (on my clit) tho I do make every effort for the act 2 b mutually satisfying and if I may say so mostly with some success... it is a preference but tribbing "on top" isn't exclusive. It is luffly the other way 2....:impleased

Finally.. there is a school of thought amongst me m8s that the submissive is the more controlling partner and therefore the true dominant... The jury is out as far as I am concerned about that claim, but it may have some validity. However, I am yet 2 b convinced...:)


Yeah, I'm not talking lifestyle Sub and Dom, but more, who leads or takes control, and who follows.

Darkeyes brought up a good point. I do sometimes "top from the bottom." If I think the other person I'm with needs some help, or if my needs aren't being met, I'll redirect the action, then hope they take back over when they are comfortable.

'Topping from the bottom' is something that happens during B&D, S/m, and non-vanilla sex.

Two women bumping pussies or 'tribbing', oral sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation, and vaginal sex are all forms of vanilla sex and despite what some people think you don't take on Dom/sub roles during vanilla sex.

[pole_smoker]

I agree that you can lead a partner without playing sexual games like Top /bottom, Dom/Sub.

I wonder if men tend to top from the bottom or even see it that way? Lead from a traditional female role. There may be a gender difference as to how a person leads based on their gender.
If you're "leading" a partner during sex then you are doing Dom/sub roles to some extent, or probably will in some way during sex in the future...even if it's doing something like spanking someone before or during sex.

There's nothing feminine or a 'female role' about a man who gets anal sex, or sucks cock.

If during sex a person that's physiologically and biologically male thinks of themselves as a woman or "female", then they're probably transgendered/transsexual.

[darkeyes]

'Topping from the bottom' is something that happens during B&D, S/m, and non-vanilla sex.

Two women bumping pussies or 'tribbing', oral sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation, and vaginal sex are all forms of vanilla sex and despite what some people think you don't take on Dom/sub roles during vanilla sex.
Most peeps do vanilla sex 2 a gr8er or lesser degree.. I am no different... much of it is luffly... and simply cos an act is considered vanilla does not preclude the participants from being dom and sub and acting those roles while doing wotever they do... u do have such a blinkered vision about sex. Comes from not really liking ver much of it or doing any I s'pose...;)

[darkeyes]

I agree that you can lead a partner without playing sexual games like Top /bottom, Dom/Sub.

I wonder if men tend to top from the bottom or even see it that way? Lead from a traditional female role. There may be a gender difference as to how a person leads based on their gender.
If a person leads a partner in a sex act, he or she is then to some extent controlling the sex. Poley is quite that a person controlling the sex can therefore quite accurately be said to be the dominant partner for that act at least... whether they play it as a dom/domme sub game or not... I do enjoy playing games and adopting a role which is not really my nature as does Kate and as did and do other lovers past and present.. but we r what we r, and mostly we do what we enjoy most and our sexual natures determine how sex goes... not always, because experimentation and trying new things, pleasing a partner and generally using our imagination to vary things comes into play for most of us because we neither wish 2 bore our sex partner 2 death or b bored 2 death ourselves... not every1 of course.. some don't like or do very much.. but hey, that's ok, ten, for as u and I at least both kno... no 2 peeps r the same... vive la difference:impleased

[Gearbox]

I'm top with both men & women.
As a top I'm usually physically dom - I have the other under my physical control &/or restraints.
That doesn't always mean that I'm the dom mentally tho! No sex session runs completely without the 'sub' having their say and having the overpowering vote on anything I do.
So really we are both under each others control in one way or another. It's just a matter of taking liberties when there's no conflict of control.
To be completely dom you'd have to take control and keep it at all times, ignoring the subs attempts to influence the session.

You'd have to be a special kind of twat to carry on when they complain about being sore etc. Some subs would love that, and enjoy having their limits pushed. But few would be so sub that they have no limits. Same for doms IMO.

[tenni]

The original post refers to taking on different roles depending on which gender that you are with. The OP states later that she meant do you lead or follows and not a lifestyle sub or dom. Darkeyes refers to being mostly interested in vanilla sex which is not lifestyle dom and sub based in my opinion. Referring to top and bottom may also be not only more specific (for men) to be referring to anal penetration but adds confusion (for me).

Looking over the answers, there seems to be a tendency between same sex male bisexuals to take a different role than with women..more follower(5?). Another group states that they lead regardless of the gender of their partner.(4?) One referred to working together and not leading or following. One referred to not taking the lead regardless of the gender of the partner. One did not clearly state if they lead or followed based on the gender of their partner but discussed lifestyle sub dom and not being interested in it.

[Meliss]

I am unsure. To me it is more about enthusiastic participation. As long as both are involved it is good.

[Melody Dean]

The original post refers to taking on different roles depending on which gender that you are with. The OP states later that she meant do you lead or follows and not a lifestyle sub or dom. Darkeyes refers to being mostly interested in vanilla sex which is not lifestyle dom and sub based in my opinion. Referring to top and bottom may also be not only more specific (for men) to be referring to anal penetration but adds confusion (for me).

It seems to me that darkeyes in her latest post is discussing a lifestyle of sub and dom rather than the OP question of taking on different roles. Earlier I think that she said that she doesn't take on a different role based on the gender of her partner? (before discussing wandering in to dom sub discussion) Gear seems to be discussing lifestyle as well? It is clear though that he is saying that he doesn't take on a different role depending on the gender of his partner.

Discussing sub / dom when we mean take the lead or follow seems to be putting unintended meaning ownership than the OP refers to. Glancing over the replies and we also seem to be no clear definite pattern as to whether bisexuals take on lead/follow different roles based on the gender of their lover.

They're all interchangeable depending on what type of sex you have. I think dominant can mean the person that has more control, or it can be a Dom role, depending on the context. If you are a Dom, or just the more dominant partner, the question remains the same.

I use the phrase, "topping from the bottom," because it's a common term, but I do not mean anal sex, since that wouldn't make any sense in context.

I'll give a specific example:

When I'm with a guy, in most cases, I wait for him to make the first move. It took forever, but this one guy I was with, finally kissed me. Then his hands started to wander, and he was definitely in control, leading the action. He was the dominant one, and since I was more in a position of letting him do whatever he wanted without any direction (well, with the exception of a little positive feedback), I was being submissive.

Later, at my insistence on using a condom, he got soft. Although he tried, he couldn't get it back up again. That's when I took control and steered us into another direction. Once there, he was in control again, and I did whatever he indicated. When he seemed to have stalled again, I took over leadership again briefly, before submitting to his decisions again.

I was generally in the non-dominate role for most of the time. That's what I mean by being submissive. But when needed, I gave the action a little push, but kept him in the position as feeling like he was leading the action. That's what I mean by topping from the bottom.

In contrast, when with a woman, I'd prefer to act at the same time, touching her at the same time she touched me. With a man, I want him to touch me and indicate where to touch him. With a woman, it's like we trade back and forth, like we'd do what I want, then what she wants, then what I want, etc. With a man, I want to do what he wants, and am usually happy with not getting my "turn."

[tenni]

Thanks Melody
It seems that our choice of language such as topping from the bottom and dom /sub are not as clear as your examples.

I tend to be fairly consistently the one who leads and takes the first step regardless of the gender. With women and men, I find out verbally if it is ok to act in this manner. But less so with women I act first as you described but women can also behaviourally give clues. The difference between leading and sexual assault can be misunderstood. With you there was no verbally communicating what you wanted from the man but I bet you flirted and used touch, proximity etc?...you waited for him to take the more traditional male behaviour of physically initiating sex. When he faltered later with an erection you physically did something to help get him back on track. Studies have indicated that in m/f sexual leading tends to follow certain unconscious patterns of mimicking movements, head tilting while eye contact is maintained. I'm not sure but wouldn't be surprised if similar unspoken clues are given between same sex initiating potential partners.

I think that once the initiating has started it gets less clear. Some guys that I have been with have expressed an interest in me initiating from the get go. With m2m sex it can be almost verbally pre arranged as to boundaries but not pre arranged about boundaries with women. Some men remain passive while others begin to flip back and forth as to who is leading what and when. With women the same thing can happen but rarely does a woman ask me to take charge. They expect initiating from the man but once a sexual pattern or relationship begins sometime a woman will initiated physically while other times they use a more submissive flirt tease approach.

[darkeyes]

Darkeyes refers to being mostly interested in vanilla sex which is not lifestyle dom and sub based in my opinion.
I did not say any such thing... I do like a lot of vanilla sex, much of which is luffly... that is what I said... that most folk do vanilla to a greater or lesser degree.. I said that 2...liking vanilla, and the fact that most of us do vanilla sex does not mean I don't like other flavours, and neither does it mean it is my preference or indeed anyone or everyone elses.... read again what I said, tenni.. :impleased I also said that within vanilla sex, acts can be and often are undertaken by one partner being dominant and the other submissive... vanilla sex does not preclude domination or submission. Control is often exercised and surrendered within it. I was not talking of lifestyle at all... I dont live a domme/sub lifestyle at all... but I know what I am and enjoy most sexually. Just dont confuse the issue...:love87::)

[tommyswing]

With women I am dominant, but can switch roles if my partner has other needs. With men I tend to be more submissive, if a man has strong feminate traits, I become more dominant.

[MtnMan]

Most sex I've had over the years starts with either personality (preferred) or mutual masturbation (i.e., fulfillment of mutual personal need--one-nighters), and the relationship drives the role. I take the lead often because it's offered, and I can be a toy of a submissive partner if it suits the situation. If everyone's enjoying the ride, then it really isn't that critical to me.

[sisboy]

Since my wife introduced me to my bi side I have been sub to her and her male friends that we hang out with.I am at their disposal to pleasure them which in turn gives me great satisfaction.Once in a while she will find a friend that is not interested in my services but he usually does not last long and she usually gives him the gate or plays by her rules.

[Oztrich]

Do you find yourself taking on a different role depending on what gender you are with?

For example, the most alpha male I've been with is bi and is completely submissive with men, but naturally dominant with women.

For me, I'm more submissive to men (but can do a bit of role reversal when needed), but prefer to be equal give and take with women. Of course, it all depends on the relationship too.

Melody Dean, I find that I love pleasuring both men and women. Seeing, feeling, and experiencing my partner reach climax is a real joy. The physical part is unbelievably pleasurable, too, but there is this feeling of inner joy when someone else gives him or herself absolutely to me. I have always felt that way.

[jem_is_bi]

My gender is male, I am very happy being a male. I like everything about being male. Nothing about me is female. My sex role is a little different with females than males. With both I gravitate to the role of the one in charge of the action. With females that means satisfying foreplay and penetration sex followed by tender hugs and kisses. With males, the same thing except, I suck their dick and they suck/play with mine instead of penetration sex. I very, very much like sex with men. Sex with women is enjoyable but what I like better about women is they are way more beautiful than men and more fun to hug and kiss. However, lately, I have been in a steady male-male relationship that gets more comfortable each year.

[Riderinthestorm]

For me, it depends on the person more than the gender.

If I am with a man that is older and larger, I am more of a bottom. If I am with a man that is younger and/or shorter than me, I tend to be a top.

With women, it varies based on my mood.

[pepperjack]

Do you find yourself taking on a different role depending on what gender you are with?

For example, the most alpha male I've been with is bi and is completely submissive with men, but naturally dominant with women.

For me, I'm more submissive to men (but can do a bit of role reversal when needed), but prefer to be equal give and take with women. Of course, it all depends on the relationship too.

I'm a bi male who knows that he's a natural alpha male but I don't make a big display of it. I'm a positive, assertive, stereotypical " strong, silent type " but I can assume at times, a seething, intense quality. It was another bisexual male friend of mine years ago who pointed out to me that I was an alpha. Up until then, I hadn't even been aware of the expression.

I'm not completely submissive with men in sexual encounters. I'm always in control. Especially in a bad one. Actually, I don't consider going down on another man as submissive at all but instead a " giving of pleasure" just like going down on a woman.

I grew up in a military family, the oldest of 4 sons. I learned to respect discipline, order, authority. Yet, I have a low tolerance for abuse of authority.

There are women in society who attempt to usurp a man's natural dominance by being emasculating. They're motivated by a secret hatred for men.

Unfortunately, I've been in a relationship with that type of woman, but that's what taught me.

I like women, always have , especially the very feminine ones.

[pole_smoker]

I'm a bi male who knows that he's a natural alpha male but I don't make a big display of it. I'm a positive, assertive, stereotypical " strong, silent type " but I can assume at times, a seething, intense quality. It was another bisexual male friend of mine years ago who pointed out to me that I was an alpha. Up until then, I hadn't even been aware of the expression.

I'm not completely submissive with men in sexual encounters. I'm always in control. Especially in a bad one. Actually, I don't consider going down on another man as submissive at all but instead a " giving of pleasure" just like going down on a woman.

I grew up in a military family, the oldest of 4 sons. I learned to respect discipline, order, authority. Yet, I have a low tolerance for abuse of authority.

There are women in society who attempt to usurp a man's natural dominance by being emasculating. They're motivated by a secret hatred for men.

Unfortunately, I've been in a relationship with that type of woman, but that's what taught me.

I like women, always have , especially the very feminine ones.
If you don't 'make a big deal out of being an alpha male' how come every other post of yours is about nothing but this, and you even made a silly, and pointless topic about it? :rolleyes:

'The lady doth protest too much, methinks'! :smilies15:shades:

[pepperjack]

If you don't 'make a big deal out of being an alpha male' how come every other post of yours is about nothing but this, and you even made a silly, and pointless topic about it? :rolleyes:

'The lady doth protest too much, methinks'! :smilies15:shades:

Just an honest response, jerk-off, something else you're incapable of. She opened the door to the topic about alpha-males. Speaking of pointless, how is your highlighted quote at the bottom relevant to the topic? :rolleyes: Unless you're just taking another one of your cheap shots at Melody. And also, speaking of quotes....what's that one about " imitation being the most sincere form of flattery ? " You're obviously copying my style of self - expression on here because you have no substance or uniqueness of your own. Just more evidence that you're a jealous wannabe. :impleased

[pepperjack]

If you don't 'make a big deal out of being an alpha male' how come every other post of yours is about nothing but this, and you even made a silly, and pointless topic about it? :rolleyes:

'The lady doth protest too much, methinks'! :smilies15:shades:

And if my topic was so "silly" & "pointless," why did you bother to respond to it, so " vehemently, " I might add? :shades:

[pole_smoker]

Just an honest response, jerk-off, something else you're incapable of. She opened the door to the topic about alpha-males. Speaking of pointless, how is your highlighted quote at the bottom relevant to the topic? :rolleyes: Unless you're just taking another one of your cheap shots at Melody. And also, speaking of quotes....what's that one about " imitation being the most sincere form of flattery ? " You're obviously copying my style of self - expression on here because you have no substance or uniqueness of your own. Just more evidence that you're a jealous wannabe. :impleased
No she didn't open the door to anything. You wrote the topic. :rolleyes:

LMAO do you even know what that quote even means? Clearly you don't. :smilies15 I'm not replying to Melody. :rolleyes:

Nope, not copying you at all. Why would I want to copy a deeply closeted guy in flyover country who is completely incapable of having an actual relationship with anyone? :rolleyes:

[pepperjack]

Whatever...:smilies15 :smilies15:smilies15 Copy me some more, jerk-off! :impleased

[1funguy]

I would like to think I'm an equal when having sex with either a female or a male as I like to switch it up playfully being the aggressor and then letting my partner take over. I like the flow of the give and take of having sex. It make sex more interesting, unpredictable and most of all fun.

[tenni]

I would like to think I'm an equal when having sex with either a female or a male as I like to switch it up playfully being the aggressor and then letting my partner take over. I like the flow of the give and take of having sex. It make sex more interesting, unpredictable and most of all fun.

I agree. Although I am more comfortable taking the lead what fun guy wrote is more in line with my own practices. I'm not into degrading a lover and that is how all this dom sub stuff comes across to me. I wonder if we have lost Melody's OP and been side tracked by slime and bilel?

[pole_smoker]

I agree. Although I am more comfortable taking the lead what fun guy wrote is more in line with my own practices. I'm not into degrading a lover and that is how all this dom sub stuff comes across to me. I wonder if we have lost Melody's OP and been side tracked by slime and bilel?
The only people posting 'slime and bile' are yourself, pepperjack, and my haters. :rolleyes:

[Melody Dean]

I agree. Although I am more comfortable taking the lead what fun guy wrote is more in line with my own practices. I'm not into degrading a lover and that is how all this dom sub stuff comes across to me. I wonder if we have lost Melody's OP and been side tracked by slime and bilel?

With the exception of the taunting that's taking over every thread, no, I think you're on track. (And anyone that responds to this pointing a finger is just adding to that taunting instead of staying on subject.) The conversation has evolved, but we're still on topic.

The thing about BDSM domination, and specifically degradation, is that the person receiving it enjoys it. Sometimes the bedroom is a safe and trusted environment to try out emotions and experiences that you can't in the real world. I like being in a position in the bedroom, with someone I trust, to feel vulnerable. It's a feeling I hate in the real world. But I desire new experiences, and I believe that knowing what that feels like makes my everyday life more fulfilling.

[cheil77]

I am an alfa male meaning I am dominant no matter if im fucking the president of the USA.

[pepperjack]

Now they're messing with what's sacrosanct to a man: http://www.infowars.com/male-feminist-men-who-enjoy-bbqs-are-oppressing-women/ ;) :smilies15

[darkeyes]

Don'tcha worry, Pep... the guy is talking through his arse. I wouldn't dream if depriving ya of ur lickle barbi pleaures... me dad used 2 luff barbi'in' and me mum was only 2 happy 2 let him... us 2 wen he wos at 1 of ours. Me bruvva is now the family's no1 barbier... and quite right 2! We often have girls only barbis and so no man needed... Oppressing women wen men take care of the barbi? Bollox, even tho ther is more 2 barbi'in' than cookin' on charcoal... or gas if ya like that sorta thing;). Is nice 2 have a guy share the load!

As for eating well done meat being racist, cos, as some dimwit in twitter says it comes from whites giving blacks bad meat... rubbish... reason peeps like it cooked at least medium or well done is 2 stop it mooin' or mehin' or snorkin' atcha wen ya stick the knife or fork in.. u have no idea the number of meals that were put down in front of me pourin wiv blood wen visiting peeps or at dinner parties and otha do's in the days I was married 2 Brian. I was brought up 2 eat dead meat! I do not expect me dinner to get up off the plate and wander off in a huff after telling me in cow, sheep, pig or deer how pissed off it is that I have the temerity to expect to tuck in2 it..;)

[Npanties4luv69]

Totally submissive to all genders, my dream is to becum a crossdressed cuckold to a woman that is a BBC whore.