Do you feel like everyone is a little bi?

[Melody Dean]

I don't know if it's true or not, but any time I date someone who says they are 100% straight or 100% gay, I always assume that they're a little bi, they just don't realize it, or they're suppressing it. I know, it's kind of dickheaded of me, and I'd never actually say it to them. But I can't help but think, "If you tried it, I bet you'd like it..."

[capecod]

I have found most have some bi in them if time is right

[fredtyg]

It would be hard to say since it's hard to define bisexual. Many guys might be considered as such, but what if they won't even admit it to themselves? I was like that back in my 20s. I kept telling myself I wasn't queer but time and again would end up having sex with guys. I certainly was bi, but wouldn't admit it to myself. How could you tell with someone like that? There's really no way to count them.

I do think a lot of gay and lesbian types are probably bisexual to some extent. I've heard from enough of them- a self described lesbian, for example- that has said she has had sex with men, enjoyed it, and might do it again. I'd call that bisexual, but they insist they're strictly gay or lesbian.

[pole_smoker]

No I don't think that everyone is really bisexual, or has the ability to be bisexual.

If this were remotely true there would be no need for LGBT people to come out, no need to fight for LGBT rights like same gender marriage, etc.

Even with the studies done by Kinsey they never claimed that people who are heterosexual or gay or lesbian are rare and that most people are bisexual.

[Melody Dean]

No I don't think that everyone is really bisexual, or has the ability to be bisexual.

If this were remotely true there would be no need for LGBT people to come out, no need to fight for LGBT rights like same gender marriage, etc.

Even with the studies done by Kinsey they never claimed that people who are heterosexual or gay or lesbian are rare and that most people are bisexual.

I think it's hard to scientifically quantify though because bisexual is such an undefined term, it means different things to different people. For example, I have lesbian friends who call me straight because I prefer men. I think a lot of people feel like they have to choose one or the other, that being bi is just being indecisive.

But ultimately, my question isn't whether or not they actually are bi, but what's your perception. Any time I hear someone say they're straight or gay, part of me always thinks, "but are they really?"

[Meliss]

Sometimes we are a designation only because that is all we have had for opportunities. Guys who have never went to a gay bar may not get male attention. Many seem to orient around their major first relationships.

[tenni]

I tend to belief that the sibling of such statements is "You're really gay. You just haven't realized it". I wonder if there is a tendency to see people and want them just a bit like we are?

Generalizations are tending towards stereotyping people. Due to he fluidity aspect for some bisexuals, I can see such bis rationalizing to the point of stating that everyone is bi.

I also tend to believe that it is no one's business unless they want to have sex with you. The world or "everyone" should not care. ;)

[cuttin2dachase]

I think most people are born with clean slate sexually speaking. I know there's debate about this and that there is evidence that some people are born genetically/chromosomically predisposed to be gay. Still I believe that at birth, almost all human beings have the capacity to be heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. Bisexuality and homosexuality are preached against in homes, schools, churches, homes and in mainstream society as being unnatural or wrong or sinful. I think most kids tend to take it as gospel and fact. Then something happens. They morph into adolescents and teens and begin to mature emotionally, think for themselves, and question many things at the same time in their lives that they begin having overt sexual feelings and desires for the opposite gender, same gender or both genders. All of a sudden they realize there are choices other than heterosexuality. Some of them buy completely into the homophobic or biphobic mainstream morality/attitudes. It's not an option for them and is unthinkable. Others feel guilt and suppress any non-hetero feelings and remain straight out of fear of ridicule or ostracism. Others go with their hearts, their true feelings and their sexual desires and choose to be bi, gay or lesbian. In the end most all of us have the choice of being str8, gay/lesbian or bi and it's a unique combination of genetics, environment and various other circumstances combined that determines our choice or choices.

[sysper]

there's probably tendencies for both heterosexuality & homosexuality for everybody. but i don't think both tendencies are strong enough to matter for alot of people. somebody might admire somebody else but it doesn't mean they wanna go so far as to sleep with somebody of that gender.

[chtampa]

I think we are all sexual. Our minds influence our choice of who it is shared with, and it changes constantly, because of guilt, fear, need, desire or the absence of any preference. A label or a title is purely a need to belong or not belong to a certain group. Some people have sexuality as a priority, and others have the need to fit as a priority. Even on here, attention is a need for some, as is anonymity for others as they get their needs met. I believe some people need, and some people want and we each chase these desires.

It is fascinating how important differences and similarities are to people. Black, white, or brown skin, tall, short, fat, skinny bodies, breast size, cock size, cut or uncut. How shallow as humans are we that these things are important just so we can feel good about ourselves. You can't love others if you can't love yourself, and then your search is purely a need for validation of who you want to be and how you want others to see you. Bottom line, why does it matter who you shake hands with, who you speak to, who you kiss, or who you share sex with? Intimacy should have no other parameter than happiness.

[marine20]

there was a time when I thought I was 100% straight. when I finally had sex with a man , I shocked myself . now I know i'm bi, and i am comfortable with it. I am sure everyone can be bi under the right circumstances.

[sexylacaman]

Yes, I agree. And anytime I hear that I think "Thou doth protest too much". At least if someone's tried BI & truly didn't enjoy it...at least they know for sure & never have to wonder about it!

[jamieknyc]

I believe it is true in the sense that everyone has the ability to have sex and an orgasm from it with either the opposite or the same sex if they want to do it. Doesn't necessarily mean that they have the desire for it, though.

[pole_smoker]

I believe it is true in the sense that everyone has the ability to have sex and an orgasm from it with either the opposite or the same sex if they want to do it. Doesn't necessarily mean that they have the desire for it, though.
Actually that's not true. I know gay men who told me how they attempted to have sex with women but were unable to get aroused at all, and some who told me how they did get aroused but could not finish even while fucking a woman's cunt and they had to fake an orgasm.


Do your wife and adult kids know that you like to hook up with male strangers who you meet in chat rooms on sex sites like this?

[jamieknyc]

Actually that's not true. I know gay men who told me how they attempted to have sex with women but were unable to get aroused at all, and some who told me how they did get aroused but could not finish even while fucking a woman's cunt and they had to fake an orgasm.


Do your wife and adult kids know that you like to hook up with male strangers who you meet in chat rooms on sex sites like this?
First of all, I don't hook up with male strangers from sex sites, and also, what other people do is none of your damn business anyway.

[Melody Dean]

Actually that's not true. I know gay men who told me how they attempted to have sex with women but were unable to get aroused at all, and some who told me how they did get aroused but could not finish even while fucking a woman's cunt and they had to fake an orgasm.
Good point. You can't force yourself to like someone. But at the same time, there's a little voice in the back of my head saying, "Well maybe it just wasn't the right person..." I know it's probably not true, but I can't help but consider it.



Do your wife and adult kids know that you like to hook up with male strangers who you meet in chat rooms on sex sites like this?
Please stay on topic. That may be a discussion more suited to a PM.

[Plumhead2]

I have been pondering how I would respond to this thread. The best I could do, searching my own feelings and understanding that others are different is this: I don't know if everybody has the potential to be bi, but…I hope that they do.

[JaredT77]

I think those that claim to be 100% straight are a lot of times fronting because they're afraid of being harassed by others. Back during the Don't Ask Don't Tell days in the military, a lot of good men and women had to keep their sex lives top secret from their chain of command or risk losing their job. Thank God they got rid of that unconstitutional policy.

Honestly, it's hard to say. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all are not alike. Everyone has the right to their own opinion and choose what they feel it's right for them. Who cares what others think? Just don't step on other people's toes.

I think you're right, Melody, everyone might have a little bi in them. If they don't, they shouldn't hate it until they at least try it.

[charles-smythe]

I don't know if it's true or not, but any time I date someone who says they are 100% straight or 100% gay, I always assume that they're a little bi, they just don't realize it, or they're suppressing it. I know, it's kind of dickheaded of me, and I'd never actually say it to them. But I can't help but think, "If you tried it, I bet you'd like it..." …my bi girlfriend of 15 years always told me that all girls were bi…some just didn’t know it yes...then zero on a straight girls & prove it…although it’s easier for girls to be bi…I think all guys are bi too…given the right circumstances…

[Melody Dean]

...then zero on a straight girls & prove it…


I've encountered this type before. I've known a couple bi girls who liked to convert straight women. The problem was that they came on way too strong. One whispered in my ear all the things she wanted to do to me (she didn't know I was bi). Which would have been hot had I been interested, but since I wasn't and had actually rejected her previous advances, basically it was just harassment and turned me off even more. Had she been a guy, or had the atmosphere been different, she would've gotten smacked.

[bi4asplay]

I think it's hard to scientifically quantify though because bisexual is such an undefined term, it means different things to different people. For example, I have lesbian friends who call me straight because I prefer men. I think a lot of people feel like they have to choose one or the other, that being bi is just being indecisive.

But ultimately, my question isn't whether or not they actually are bi, but what's your perception. Any time I hear someone say they're straight or gay, part of me always thinks, "but are they really?"

I am not so sure. I know that I was totally straight until the night of my late wife's 22 birthday, I had never thought of sex with another man and it did disgust me. Not to go into the whole thing here as I have done on other blogs here. But see had said that all she wanted for her birthday was for me to promise to do everything she asked of me. I trusted her completely. I said OK. Since that night I have been BISEXUAL.

[pole_smoker]

my bi girlfriend of 15 years always told me that all girls were bi…some just didn’t know it .then zero on a straight girls I think all guys are bi too…given the right circumstances…

That's not true at all. I know guys who are hetero and have no desire to have sex with the same gender and wouldn't under any circumstance, and they're certainly not bisexual.

I know or have met a lot of gay men who have never had sex with a woman and don't even like seeing women naked in movies. There are also quite a number of gay men who have had sex with women but all this did was just show them how they're not sexually attracted to women at all. Some of my gay male friends who have had sex with women said how they had to think about men constantly during sex or almost become an outside observer to sex with a woman to perform, and some had to fake having an orgasm and found sex with a woman to be gross or a turn off.

There are a lot of hetero women who have never been with another woman and don't want to since they're simply not sexually attracted to women.

[charles-smythe]

I've encountered this type before. I've known a couple bi girls who liked to convert straight women. The problem was that they came on way too strong. One whispered in my ear all the things she wanted to do to me (she didn't know I was bi). Which would have been hot had I been interested, but since I wasn't and had actually rejected her previous advances, basically it was just harassment and turned me off even more. Had she been a guy, or had the atmosphere been different, she would've gotten smacked. …actually 99% of the time it was the ‘straight’ girl coming on to my girlfriend…on a scale of 1 to 10 she was a low 7 but there was just something about her…she radiated sex…I’ve never taken her to dinner that before the meal was over the ‘straight’ waitress would slip my girlfriend her phone number…..one time when we were eating out this teenage waitress was so taken with her that the poor girl couldn’t wait on us…finally my girlfriend, motioning for the girl to follow her, got up and went to the restroom…she took the girl into the hand-i-cap stall & set the girl on the commode…pulled up her dress & let the girl eat her pussy…she wasn’t wearing panties so that was no problem…almost every time we went to dinner she wounded up in the hand-i-cap stall…knowing how much I liked it…if she did the eating…she’d come back to the table & give me a big kiss so I could taste the other girl’s pussy on her lips…

[sysper]

knowing how much I liked it…if she did the eating…she’d come back to the table & give me a big kiss so I could taste the other girl’s pussy on her lips…

mmmmm that is so hot! that turned me on!

[Hoosier]

I'd like to hope so! I'd prefer my next relationship would be with a Bi woman.

[cslutt]

When we are developed in the womb, we have both male testosterone and female estrogen in our bodies; our chromosomes determine our likelihood of male or female predominance and likewise the gender-specific selection dominates. But, as men, we all have some female in us, and as women, we all have some male in us. So, we all have 'tendencies'. How much depends on our attitudes, likes, dislikes, whether we are conservative or liberal, etc. etc. etc. It took me a long time to realize that many, many others like what I like, not just the few I play with and enjoy together. The internet has opened up a whole new realization for all of us that will only liberate us more and more into becoming a more homogenous society, but also into more acceptance vs. denial, too.

[charles-smythe]

…with all the straight guy dick I’ve sucked over the years…how could it be otherwise…mind you it may not manifest itself until mid-40s it’s still always been there…

[tenni]

When we are developed in the womb, we have both male testosterone and female estrogen in our bodies; our chromosomes determine our likelihood of male or female predominance and likewise the gender-specific selection dominates. But, as men, we all have some female in us, and as women, we all have some male in us. So, we all have 'tendencies'. How much depends on our attitudes, likes, dislikes, whether we are conservative or liberal, etc. etc. etc. It took me a long time to realize that many, many others like what I like, not just the few I play with and enjoy together. The internet has opened up a whole new realization for all of us that will only liberate us more and more into becoming a more homogenous society, but also into more acceptance vs. denial, too.

Hi
I agree that I also have read that pre natal hormones direct the development of male or female genitals. I'm wondering if you are confusing gender with sexual attraction? This prenatal hormones are about sex genitals and not sexual attraction. Bisexuality is an attraction to both male and female genders. That attraction may be either or both a physical and or emotional attraction.

Melody
I don't think that bisexuality is hard to define. It is just different from what some monosexuals see sexuality. If you are attracted to men and women, you are bisexual. Your fluidity or degree of attraction may vary from bisexual to bisexual.

[charles-smythe]

mmmmm that is so hot! that turned me on! …it turned me on too…that’s why she did it…another thing she did that excited me was to finger herself & then let me watch her slowly & sensuously lick her fingers…damn she was HOT…

[charles-smythe]

That's not true at all. I know guys who are hetero and have no desire to have sex with the same gender and wouldn't under any circumstance, and they're certainly not bisexual …as far as you know…there are a ton of latent homosexuals & bis that keep it buried so deep casual friends would never guess…but hidden or not the feelings are still there…


I know or have met a lot of gay men who have never had sex with a woman and don't even like seeing women naked in movies. There are also quite a number of gay men who have had sex with women but all this did was just show them how they're not sexually attracted to women at all. Some of my gay male friends who have had sex with women said how they had to think about men constantly during sex or almost become an outside observer to sex with a woman to perform, and some had to fake having an orgasm and found sex with a woman to be gross or a turn off. …I don’t think the question was aimed at gay men. I think they were asking about supposedly straight me…


There are a lot of hetero women who have never been with another woman and don't want to since they're simply not sexually attracted to women. …my girlfriend proved to me too many times that this statement wasn’t true…they may have never played with another woman…but would if approached right…it’s like being an alcoholic…if it’s in your genetic make-up it’s there whether you ever touch a drop of liquor or not…

[charles-smythe]

When we are developed in the womb, we have both male testosterone and female estrogen in our bodies; our chromosomes determine our likelihood of male or female predominance and likewise the gender-specific selection dominates. But, as men, we all have some female in us, and as women, we all have some male in us. So, we all have 'tendencies'. How much depends on our attitudes, likes, dislikes, whether we are conservative or liberal, etc. etc. etc. It took me a long time to realize that many, many others like what I like, not just the few I play with and enjoy together. The internet has opened up a whole new realization for all of us that will only liberate us more and more into becoming a more homogenous society, but also into more acceptance vs. denial, too.

…sounds right to me…

[monaohio]

i'm gay but I am married to a woman but she don't know

[pole_smoker]

i'm gay but I am married to a woman but she don't know
Why not come out to her? It's only right and fair especially if you're cheating on her, and in a sexless marriage of convenience.

[charles-smythe]

Why not come out to her? It's only right and fair especially if you're cheating on her, and in a sexless marriage of convenience. …honesty is not always the best policy…even for a married man there is certain aspects of his sex life that he should keep secret even from his wife…especially if he’s gay or bi….FYI: I would advise each week hiding a few dollars of your check where your wife won’t know about it…you never know when you’ll find yourself out of the house & on the street without a penny in your pockets…women are good at cleaning out the bank account & canceling your credit cards before they boot you out…having a little hidden slush fund might be the difference between sleeping in your car & a motel…

[pole_smoker]

…honesty is not always the best policy…even for a married man there is certain aspects of his sex life that he should keep secret even from his wife…especially if he’s gay or bi….FYI: I would advise each week hiding a few dollars of your check where your wife won’t know about it…you never know when you’ll find yourself out of the house & on the street without a penny in your pockets…women are good at cleaning out the bank account & canceling your credit cards before they boot you out…having a little hidden slush fund might be the difference between sleeping in your car & a motel…

Did you ever get kicked out by a GF or wife?

[charles-smythe]

Did you ever get kicked out by a GF or wife? …no but my friends did…when living with someone I always made sure it was in my house…so if anyone left it was them…but after I saw a couple of buddies on the street without 2 nickles to rub together because their wives cleaned out their bank accounts before they kicked them out…I always keep a secret emergency slush fund for emergencies…