There's this guy at work....

[Browne]

He's a little more than half my age and he keeps checking out my crotch. It gets way more complex from here...


------

[charles-smythe]

He's a little more than half my age and he keeps checking out my crotch. It gets way more complex from here...


------...are you interested?...do you want it to go any further?...

[sysper]

care to say how much more complex?

[Browne]

Do I WANT to?

Yes, very much so.

Would such a relationship be practical considering the situation?

it would be extremely risky.

It seems I'm always attracted lately to those I cannot be with.


------

[Browne]

care to say how much more complex?

So far, it's a situation that has aspects of the age gap, fronting, sexual tension in the workplace, nepotism, and what I strongly feel to be some sort of psychic information transference.

I'm a subcontractor and he is a employee for the customer that I've worked for, for some time now. So there is job risk there too.


------

[2bi2Bboring]

Keep your dick out of your wallet! You're talking about your livelihood, these things often digress, messily.

[Browne]

Keep your dick out of your wallet! You're talking about your livelihood, these things often digress, messily.

Yeah, that's what I keep thinking too. Although my job itself would be safe more or less, that particular account where he works at would be at risk I would think. And I work a lot of overtime there. The tension over this particular guy though is driving me a bit batty.


------

[Browne]

http://youtu.be/WY5ylhuqORs

He seems like an "other" to me.


------

[tenni]

I agree that it is something not to get into whether it is with a woman or man. I recall the statement "Don't eat cookies in bed". This means to me that don't bring sexual relationships into places that you will still have to interact should it fail. I learned this when I was sixteen and dated a cute girl two lockers down from mine in high school...lol

[Browne]

I agree that it is something not to get into whether it is with a woman or man. I recall the statement "Don't eat cookies in bed". This means to me that don't bring sexual relationships into places that you will still have to interact should it fail. I learned this when I was sixteen and dated a cute girl two lockers down from mine in high school...lol

There was one morning a few weeks ago when I checked in with the department I deal with, and he works in that department. Anyways there was a few people there and I was talking to one of his superiors about some work related issue. So I sit down behind the supervisors desk and the guy that I admire sits next to me so he's facing my left ear and says...."take a chance, make it happen".

It's a line from a jingle for a casino that advertises in this area.
http://youtu.be/8PHxnuoEpIo

There was absolutely no context to the phrase he seemed to direct at me. He wasn't talking to anyone else. And what's funny is that I spent some time the few days prior to him making this comment at me, passionately fantasizing about him.


------

[pole_smoker]

Don't "shit where you eat". Or don't get involved with someone who you work with at all.

Find someone else who doesn't work with you or at the same place.

[Browne]

Don't "shit where you eat". Or don't get involved with someone who you work with at all.

Find someone else who doesn't work with you or at the same place.

Yeah, I think we have that covered. You and tenni are in agreement on something...hehe...

I have maintained my professionalism with this guy dispite him ogling at my package.

He keeps dropping these hints too.

He told me that when he buys a home it will be somewhere secluded so he can garden naked. Then he asked if I would garden naked!

LMAO!

i mean REALLY...


------

[pole_smoker]

Yeah, I think we have that covered. You and tenni are in agreement on something...hehe...

I have maintained my professionalism with this guy dispite him ogling at my package.

He keeps dropping these hints too.

He told me that when he buys a home it will be somewhere secluded so he can garden naked. Then he asked if I would garden naked!

LMAO!

i mean REALLY...


------
I'd personally find that annoying, maybe tell him to leave you alone? If he persists and you don't like it tell your boss that he's sexually harassing you, and document all of this?

I dated a woman I worked with and if I were single it's something I'd never do again since you see the person way too much even if you work in different areas, or work on different schedules, and everyone at your job or work will know about you being together even if you think that nobody knows.

I liked the Timothy Leary video, did you ever take lots of LSD or mushrooms at high doses? Ingest cannabis/hash at a high dose in prepared food? Or get into meditation and yoga?

[Browne]

I'd personally find that annoying, maybe tell him to leave you alone? If he persists and you don't like it tell your boss that he's sexually harassing you, and document all of this?

I dated a woman I worked with and if I were single it's something I'd never do again since you see the person way too much even if you work in different areas, or work on different schedules, and everyone at your job or work will know about you being together even if you think that nobody knows.

I liked the Timothy Leary video, did you ever take lots of LSD or mushrooms at high doses? Ingest cannabis/hash at a high dose in prepared food? Or get into meditation and yoga?

I would probably get more annoyed than I do with him if only I was so sure of myself AND if I didn't like him so much like I do.

He talks a lot about the girls he's interested in at work. So I don't know what his sexual preference is. He told me yesterday that the first girl he dated was 24 years old, while he was 15 at the time. He said he's an "old soul" which I thought was weird for a 21 year old to say about himself but I agree with it. He says things like I'm one of the few people he opens up to and he has to a degree. But he'll say things like when he comes to work, he'll put on a front and it's not at all what he's like when he's not at work.

He's totally mindfucking me which is really hard to do with me, so I'm totally impressed by that, you see?

Glad you liked the "Find the Others" video.

I've experienced states brought on by LSD a few times, shrooms a few times, Salvia once, cannabis many times. I also have had particular informational sequences induce rather acute mental states as well.


------

[querty]

"Back away from the drama".....
U'd not pursue it. Leave it fantasy.

[elian]

I have had a crush on people where I work, it's not fun - because some of them are very cute but I am there to work, not to have sex. If he is so young then maybe he doesn't feel like he has that much to lose or just doesn't have the experience to know better. Unfortunately hormones can also play a part sometimes and make people want to do "foolish" stuff.

I joke around with my friends at work, but I have been around my co-workers long enough that we are more like family.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to apologize for loving people, but then again, I also make it a point not to treat my friends like sex toys either.

Two routes you could take, ignore it -or- confront him about it honestly and try to reason with him. If he's not mature enough to act professionally in the workplace then you would have to worry about the latter as well if he felt scorned or something and decided to try to retaliate.

Especially inappropriate to date if you are in supervisory/subordinate relationship, most companies have HR policy against this.

If he does interest you, when he leaves work for good, then maybe consider dating him.

There have been a handful of co-workers I know that dated and then got married, but I think they were the exception. For two men, if your workforce is diverse and/or open-minded then it might not be a big deal. Here in PA there is no law barring discrimination against LGBT folks in the workplace except maybe sexual harassment law - so in this state an employer could fire you just for being "gay" if they choose to do so.

It would be possible to work with each other, but pole_smoker and tenni are right - everyone at work will know and if it turns out you aren't compatible it could be uncomfortable having to continue working with each other.

Maybe it's just that you pay attention to him - some men love attention..a lot.

[Browne]

I have had a crush on people where I work, it's not fun - because some of them are very cute but I am there to work, not to have sex. If he is so young then maybe he doesn't feel like he has that much to lose or just doesn't have the experience to know better. Unfortunately hormones can also play a part sometimes and make people want to do "foolish" stuff.

I joke around with my friends at work, but I have been around my co-workers long enough that we are more like family.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to apologize for loving people, but then again, I also make it a point not to treat my friends like sex toys either.

Two routes you could take, ignore it -or- confront him about it honestly and try to reason with him. If he's not mature enough to act professionally in the workplace then you would have to worry about the latter as well if he felt scorned or something and decided to try to retaliate.

Especially inappropriate to date if you are in supervisory/subordinate relationship, most companies have HR policy against this.

If he does interest you, when he leaves work for good, then maybe consider dating him.

There have been a handful of co-workers I know that dated and then got married, but I think they were the exception. For two men, if your workforce is diverse and/or open-minded then it might not be a big deal. Here in PA there is no law barring discrimination against LGBT folks in the workplace except maybe sexual harassment law - so in this state an employer could fire you just for being "gay" if they choose to do so.

It would be possible to work with each other, but pole_smoker and tenni are right - everyone at work will know and if it turns out you aren't compatible it could be uncomfortable having to continue working with each other.

Maybe it's just that you pay attention to him - some men love attention..a lot.

Thanks for your well thought out post elian.

I don't go out of my way to pay attention to him. He is more of the one who will come out to my truck when I'm having coffee break or start a conversation when we I see him around the place.

The work relationship as it stands is I am a service provider for the company he works for. So he is essentially my customer.

It actually came up in conversation when we were talking about what women we were interested in at his site and I said that I wouldn't date somebody from there because I wouldn't want to risk my position there. So that is out on the table and he's aware. But I imagine if something did occur between us, that there would be no practical way to have a relationship that were "out in the open".

I think the next time he checks me out though, I'm going to call him on it. Although I will do it in a way that would preserve our friendship.


------

[Browne]

Leave it fantasy.

It doesn't feel like "drama" to me though. But so far this is exactly what I have done.


------

[elian]

Yeah, well I suppose it would be my nightmare that someone actually took offense to one of the jokes I made at work. I think people take sex too seriously, so I sometimes joke about it but there certainly are times when it's not appropriate. Really not my intention to offend anyone but you know, people blurred boundaries with me growing up so I am used to having them trampled...other folks might be more willing to say "no".

I guess for as long as you have a business relationship with his company you won't be able to pursue anything..as you say, you might have to be the "bad" guy and break off the contact.

I guess it is in what you can tolerate. I still think part of it may be for attention - some men like to be noticed, and who knows - maybe he's going through a vulnerable time in his life. Or maybe he's young enough that he's arrogant..(sounds more likely). Maybe no one has ever SET boundaries with him. Maybe he's thinking with his dick.

There are ways you could try to do it to maintain a platonic relationship, unless that bothers you too. Ah, I have it - think of him as your son. That should fix it, right?


Thanks for your well thought out post elian.

I don't go out of my way to pay attention to him. He is more of the one who will come out to my truck when I'm having coffee break or start a conversation when we I see him around the place.

The work relationship as it stands is I am a service provider for the company he works for. So he is essentially my customer.

It actually came up in conversation when we were talking about what women we were interested in at his site and I said that I wouldn't date somebody from there because I wouldn't want to risk my position there. So that is out on the table and he's aware. But I imagine if something did occur between us, that there would be no practical way to have a relationship that were "out in the open".

I think the next time he checks me out though, I'm going to call him on it. Although I will do it in a way that would preserve our friendship.


------

[Browne]

Yeah, well I suppose it would be my nightmare that someone actually took offense to one of the jokes I made at work. I think people take sex too seriously, so I sometimes joke about it but there certainly are times when it's not appropriate. Really not my intention to offend anyone but you know, people blurred boundaries with me growing up so I am used to having them trampled...other folks might be more willing to say "no".

I guess for as long as you have a business relationship with his company you won't be able to pursue anything..as you say, you might have to be the "bad" guy and break off the contact.

I guess it is in what you can tolerate. I still think part of it may be for attention - some men like to be noticed, and who knows - maybe he's going through a vulnerable time in his life. Or maybe he's young enough that he's arrogant..(sounds more likely). Maybe no one has ever SET boundaries with him. Maybe he's thinking with his dick.

There are ways you could try to do it to maintain a platonic relationship, unless that bothers you too. Ah, I have it - think of him as your son. That should fix it, right?

He tells me that he wants to save up enough money to purchase a home somewhere "down south". So it sounds like he will be working here for at least another 5 years. I'm not about to give up this account because as a single father it would be too much of an income loss. So it's going to be an interesting 5 years if he or I don't find a significant other in the meantime, hehe...

He is very clever socially and manages people and situations very well at work. When we talk we don't stick to work related topics but other topics that most would find socially uncomfortable to engage in at work. So we talk about some deep stuff. That's what really impresses me about him. That he can hang with my intellect. He's a very aware kind of person. He's more aware than many adults my age are. And from what he describes to me about his personal interests, it excites me because there is an affinity there that I have such a hard time finding with other people. You can say that I could treat him like a son due to his age and sometimes I do when it come to his lack of experience with work related stuff, but sometimes I wonder if it's not the other way around - like the part in the video I posted about people coming into your life for a reason. I feel that very strongly with him.


------

[fredtyg]

I can understand people here writing that you shouldn't get involved with people at work, but I'll differ at least in part.

Sure, things can get awkward if things don't work out. Heck, even if they do work out it can get weird. I've seen a more than a few workplace romances and a lot of them worked out fine. A couple friends of mine that worked with me ended up getting married and lasted 30 years before getting divorced.

In cases where things didn't work out, the parties involved made do. Myself included.

I just don't see cutting off a large source of people from relationships simply because you work with them. I realize most here probably have larger social circles than I do, but I'd also venture to say many of the people you do count as friends you met through work.

In the OP's case, I'd say there's nothing to lose by just talking to the guy and find out where his head is at.

[elian]

Well, I just assumed that you both worked at the exact same company under the same rules or you were perhaps a contractor employee of the company. If you only periodically visit this business maybe it isn't so bad to get to know him..just be at least a little careful, like you said - you can't afford to lose the account. If he is as mature as you say, hopefully he can understand what motivates you as a parent.

[sysper]

well u gotta protect ur job. it was wise of u to tell this guy u don't date people u work with. it might be easier if u only attracted to each other on a lust level. but it looks like that's not the only level ur attracted. i can see things starting to get deep. i would be carefull & do everything to keep ur distance emotionally to a certain level while u have this work relationship. or else think of what consequences could come of it & be prepared to deal with them if u do decide to give in. it's not an easy position cause being closer to him wouldn't really be a bad thing just it's because u work with each other.

[cuttin2dachase]

I see nothing morally or ethically wrong in exploring your mutual desire for each other away from work. If both of you agree to trust each other to keep your personal lives separated from your work lives and not bring any drama to the workplace, go for it !

[pole_smoker]

I see nothing morally or ethically wrong in exploring your mutual desire for each other away from work. If both of you agree to trust each other to keep your personal lives separated from your work lives and not bring any drama to the workplace, go for it !
That doesn't happen at all when two people of any sex who work together get involved sexually.

[Browne]

I can understand people here writing that you shouldn't get involved with people at work, but I'll differ at least in part.

Sure, things can get awkward if things don't work out. Heck, even if they do work out it can get weird. I've seen a more than a few workplace romances and a lot of them worked out fine. A couple friends of mine that worked with me ended up getting married and lasted 30 years before getting divorced.

In cases where things didn't work out, the parties involved made do. Myself included.

I just don't see cutting off a large source of people from relationships simply because you work with them. I realize most here probably have larger social circles than I do, but I'd also venture to say many of the people you do count as friends you met through work.

In the OP's case, I'd say there's nothing to lose by just talking to the guy and find out where his head is at.

I'm pretty good at being uncomfortable so awkward social situations are not much too much of a problem. I tend to be very diplomatic and empathetic in those types of situations. The only way I could see anything working out, would be to keep it on the down low. So that requires a good deal of trust. And I find myself sorta putting him through the paces to see how he reacts to it. Sometimes he shows some interest in my line of work and wants to learn more about it. So he will assist with some of the work I do so as to have some exposure. Other times he seems disinterested in it.

He did offer to pick me up some cannabis when I was looking for some. Although I initially declined his offer, I did eventually have him pick some up. And he was very stealthy about it. No on else knew. So there was some trust built there. And the name of the strain that he chose for me was called L.A. CONFIDENTIAL.

I got a good chuckle from that. : )

He definitely seems of the trustworthy type. But I need to see more of that type of behavior before I made any sort of move.


------

[Browne]

Well, I just assumed that you both worked at the exact same company under the same rules or you were perhaps a contractor employee of the company. If you only periodically visit this business maybe it isn't so bad to get to know him..just be at least a little careful, like you said - you can't afford to lose the account. If he is as mature as you say, hopefully he can understand what motivates you as a parent.

Yeah, he definitely shows understanding towards me. My son has been "diagnosed" with ADHD and his school has been on myself and his mother to get him medicated. It's something that we're both against yet the school keeps bringing it up. Anyways this guy went through the same sort of situation and in his case he did end up on medication for seven years. His sharing of this experience has been an invaluable resource of information and inspiration to keep my son from being mediated.


------

[Browne]

well u gotta protect ur job. it was wise of u to tell this guy u don't date people u work with. it might be easier if u only attracted to each other on a lust level. but it looks like that's not the only level ur attracted. i can see things starting to get deep. i would be carefull & do everything to keep ur distance emotionally to a certain level while u have this work relationship. or else think of what consequences could come of it & be prepared to deal with them if u do decide to give in. it's not an easy position cause being closer to him wouldn't really be a bad thing just it's because u work with each other.

Thanks sysper for the sage advice. I cannot see myself trying to avoid him all together at work simply because it seems like I'm developing feelings towards him. Luckily it's very much in my nature to take things slowly and if a real friendship can come out of it, that would be something I would like with him.


------

[pole_smoker]

Yeah, he definitely shows understanding towards me. My son has been "diagnosed" with ADHD and his school has been on myself and his mother to get him medicated. It's something that we're both against yet the school keeps bringing it up. Anyways this guy went through the same sort of situation and in his case he did end up on medication for seven years. His sharing of this experience has been an invaluable resource of information and inspiration to keep my son from being mediated.


------
Does your son want to take medications for his ADHD? ADD and ADHD do exist, and for people who have them the medications do help.

A friend of mine that has ADD has taken medications for his ADD, and when he's on them it's obvious and they do help him since otherwise he's all over the place and can't even hold a coherent conversation, and really bad at scheduling things, or keeping appointments. He was on Methylphenidate/Ritalin, and then switched over to a low dose of Adderall/Dexedrine.

Another guy I know that has ADHD is extremely hyper and totally out of control when he's not on his ADHD meds. As is a woman I know who has ADHD when she's not on her meds.

For people who do not have ADD or ADHD the meds are a stimulant; but if someone has ADD or ADHD the medications will not be a stimulant for them and they calm the person down, or allow them to focus but they react to the medications differently than a person who doesn't have ADD or ADHD does.

The medications used for treatment of ADD and ADHD are safe and have been used in low doses for decades. Yes the one drug is amphetamine but that's not the same as methamphetamine or crystal meth at all, and it's in a low and controlled dosage that the person is monitored by a doctor or medical professional while they are on the medication.

Have your son see a medical doctor, or a psychiatrist to actually make sure he has ADHD. The school might care about your kid but they're not medical or mental health professionals.

[Browne]

I see nothing morally or ethically wrong in exploring your mutual desire for each other away from work. If both of you agree to trust each other to keep your personal lives separated from your work lives and not bring any drama to the workplace, go for it !


Yeah, I think it would take more time getting to a point where trust would be established to such a level that would alleviate any risk concerns enough to try something like this. Putting it that way makes the situation you described still within the realm of possibilities.


------

[pole_smoker]

Yeah, I think it would take more time getting to a point where trust would be established to such a level that would alleviate any risk concerns enough to try something like this. Putting it that way makes the situation you described still within the realm of possibilities.


------
Based on what you wrote about your job, and this guy I doubt he could or would keep his mouth shut, and you said how your job is very important to you, and you need the money.

Does your wife know that you're bisexual?

If you must use drugs that are decriminalized/quasi-legal; but still illegal overall, don't get them from people who you work with.

[elian]

Let me get this straight, so the dude gave you some weed, but you still don't know whether or not you can trust him to play with you? If you know he is gay (or bi) then that probably isn't the issue.

..in any event - you are talking about the interest he has in your job, which seems like more of a platonic relationship anyway.

I guess you have to do what you think is right.

[Browne]

Does your son want to take medications for his ADHD?

No. However he does get frustrated when his mind races at school. I've been reinforcing the idea with him that the one thing he can control in life is what he chooses to pay attention to.


ADD and ADHD do exist,

Yes, and essentially what that means is that there is a BEHAVIORAL PATTERN that DOES exist and someone gave this subjective behavioral pattern a subjective name.

I'm not sure how old you are, but have you noticed, that as time goes on life becomes more and more complex?

That is to say, that there has sorta been an ever increasing amount of choices you have, of things to pay attention to, as time has moved along?

And most of this ever increasing complexity that we experience is a derivative of our technology which is an extension of our creativity.

And at the SAME TIME we are calling people who have the ABILITY to pay attention to their environment in a different way than the majority do, as having a DISABILITY?

Where most people see a coincidence here, I see a pattern.

And that pattern strongly suggests that the human mind is evolving at a very rapid rate.





for people who have them the medications do help.

Yes, but the practice of finding such a remedy is quite archaic when you think about it. I mean you're essentially playing "chemical compound pinball" in order to rearrange brain chemistry to the liking of society. The brain/mind system is still an extraordinary mystery. Ask any neurologist and they will gladly tell you this. Most of the medications create a dependency for the recipient of them, on a profit driven pharmaceutical industry which wants to drug kids as early as the age of 5.


A friend of mine that has ADD has taken medications for his ADD, and when he's on them it's obvious and they do help him since otherwise he's all over the place and can't even hold a coherent conversation, and really bad at scheduling things, or keeping appointments. He was on Methylphenidate/Ritalin, and then switched over to a low dose of Adderall/Dexedrine.

Another guy I know that has ADHD is extremely hyper and totally out of control when he's not on his ADHD meds. As is a woman I know who has ADHD when she's not on her meds.
For people who do not have ADD or ADHD the meds are a stimulant; but if someone has ADD or ADHD the medications will not be a stimulant for them and they calm the person down, or allow them to focus but they react to the medications differently than a person who doesn't have ADD or ADHD does.

The medications used for treatment of ADD and ADHD are safe and have been used in low doses for decades. Yes the one drug is amphetamine but that's not the same as methamphetamine or crystal meth at all, and it's in a low and controlled dosage that the person is monitored by a doctor or medical professional while they are on the medication.

Have your son see a medical doctor, or a psychiatrist to actually make sure he has ADHD. The school might care about your kid but they're not medical or mental health professionals.

I won't totally demonize the pharmaceutical industry because I'm sure there are some ADULTS out there like you mention, whom can make their own decisions about the pros and cons of medicating. I just think their growing into school culture like they have over the past decade is a sure sign of our sickness as a species.


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[Browne]

Based on what you wrote about your job, and this guy I doubt he could or would keep his mouth shut, and you said how your job is very important to you, and you need the money.

Does your wife know that you're bisexual?

If you must use drugs that are decriminalized/quasi-legal; but still illegal overall, don't get them from people who you work with.

Oh, man...the culture around cannabis sure has changed around here and it's great to see.

10 years ago I would have thought otherwise but nowadays, it's not as risky here as it may seem in your neck of the woods.

Most of the publics' understanding about cannabis has been mislead through propaganda, and only a communication medium like the Internet could overcome that propaganda and that's why you're seeing the changes you're seeing in society right now.


------

[Browne]

Let me get this straight, so the dude gave you some weed, but you still don't know whether or not you can trust him to play with you?

Yessir! Weed and the consequences it brings is one thing. Inviting someone nearly half my age into my private life is entirely different, but I see it as a step in that direction.


If you know he is gay (or bi) then that probably isn't the issue.

I don't know and I'm not going to assume, although the topic has come up a couple of times by him in our conversations (homosexuality in general). This is why I'm posting all of this so I can get all your impressions.



.in any event - you are talking about the interest he has in your job, which seems like more of a platonic relationship anyway.

I guess you have to do what you think is right.

Yeah, he's a young guy that wants to learn sometimes, but that's just a part of the relationship. I really don't know what's going to happen. He's been working there for a few years now and at first he was just the new guy and I had no kind of interest in him like I do now. It has all developed slowly over the course of a few years and has just sorta emerged into what it is now. So what I think is right to do is to take it step by step. Some days are excruciating, others are exhilarating. It's nuts.


------

[pole_smoker]

Oh, man...the culture around cannabis sure has changed around here and it's great to see.

10 years ago I would have thought otherwise but nowadays, it's not as risky here as it may seem in your neck of the woods.

Most of the publics' understanding about cannabis has been mislead through propaganda, and only a communication medium like the Internet could overcome that propaganda and that's why you're seeing the changes you're seeing in society right now.


------
I don't use drugs and neither does my husband; but it's just not good sense to buy drugs at work, buy them from someone who you work with, or talk about them at your job, especially if you want to keep it.

[elian]

I don't smoke personally, and I don't think just anyone should be able to smoke (they have actually done studies that show it can have a detrimental effect on young brains that are still developing) but I figure that it has to be better than Oxycontin or Percocet - so if you are in pain and can get a doctor's prescription why not?

[pole_smoker]

No. However he does get frustrated when his mind races at school. I've been reinforcing the idea with him that the one thing he can control in life is what he chooses to pay attention to.



Yes, and essentially what that means is that there is a BEHAVIORAL PATTERN that DOES exist and someone gave this subjective behavioral pattern a subjective name.

I'm not sure how old you are, but have you noticed, that as time goes on life becomes more and more complex?

That is to say, that there has sorta been an ever increasing amount of choices you have, of things to pay attention to, as time has moved along?

And most of this ever increasing complexity that we experience is a derivative of our technology which is an extension of our creativity.

And at the SAME TIME we are calling people who have the ABILITY to pay attention to their environment in a different way than the majority do, as having a DISABILITY?

Where most people see a coincidence here, I see a pattern.

And that pattern strongly suggests that the human mind is evolving at a very rapid rate.






Yes, but the practice of finding such a remedy is quite archaic when you think about it. I mean you're essentially playing "chemical compound pinball" in order to rearrange brain chemistry to the liking of society. The brain/mind system is still an extraordinary mystery. Ask any neurologist and they will gladly tell you this. Most of the medications create a dependency for the recipient of them, on a profit driven pharmaceutical industry which wants to drug kids as early as the age of 5.



I won't totally demonize the pharmaceutical industry because I'm sure there are some ADULTS out there like you mention, whom can make their own decisions about the pros and cons of medicating. I just think their growing into school culture like they have over the past decade is a sure sign of our sickness as a species.


------
Study and research more about ADD and ADHD, and the medications from a source that's not so biased. They both do exist, and lots of people of all ages are either ADD or ADHD, and the medications have been used for decades to help people who are ADD or ADHD. People who are ADD or ADHD don't become dependent on the medications for treatment of ADD or ADHD; but if left untreated and unmedicated many people who are ADD or ADHD do self medicate with street drugs like cocaine, meth, or even just very high doses of caffeine.

There are kids as young as 5-6 years old who are bipolar or who have other mental illnesses, so you're saying they shouldn't take medications for treatment?

My age is listed in my profile. I'm older than you are. I don't find life to be more complex as you get older. It's certainly a lot more simple though.

Let your son himself decide if he wants to go on medications, talk to a doctor or medical professional, and try them out they will probably help him a lot if he has a lot of trouble focusing at school. I've never had this issue and neither has my husband; but we have met people of all ages who do who have ADD and ADHD.

[Browne]

I don't use drugs and neither does my husband; but it's just not good sense to buy drugs at work, buy them from someone who you work with, or talk about them at your job, especially if you want to keep it.

Let me give you an example of how much the culture has changed.

There is a another guy who works at this place the OPENLY tells his coworkers that he GROWS weed.

Everyone there knows about this.

And let me ask you this...do you use caffeine? Nicotine? Sugar? Alcohol? It is thought by some scientists that our nocturnal dreams are brought on by the release of certain compounds into the brain which essentially makes our mind "hallucinate". Seems Nature wants us to use drugs if that is true.


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[pole_smoker]

Let me give you an example of how much the culture has changed.

There is a another guy who works at this place the OPENLY tells his coworkers that he GROWS weed.

Everyone there knows about this.

And let me ask you this...do you use caffeine? Nicotine? Sugar? Alcohol? It is thought by some scientists that our nocturnal dreams are brought on by the release of certain compounds into the brain which essentially makes our mind "hallucinate". Seems Nature wants us to use drugs if that is true.


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That guy's unprofessional then. Talking about growing herb or other drugs at your job is not a good thing to do even if you are in a state where you can do so since it's decriminalized for "medicinal" use, or even recreational use.

No I don't drink caffeine, alcohol, or use sugar. I don't like salt either, and it's already in pretty much everything.

[Browne]

They both do exist,

Yeah, we covered this point in the previous post. Except I go further than to simply research what the indoctrinated people know about, but to question what the indoctrinated peoples' motivations and perspectives are. I mean I'm still allowed to think for myself, right? I'm not sure how you could call a source, of which I provided none, "biased". I gave you my opinion.

So do you find the old rotary telephone system of communication more complex than the Internet? I'd really like to hear you go more in depth on that one.


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[Browne]

No I don't drink caffeine, alcohol, or use sugar.

Would you enforce this way of being onto others if you could?


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[Browne]

I don't smoke personally, and I don't think just anyone should be able to smoke (they have actually done studies that show it can have a detrimental effect on young brains that are still developing) but I figure that it has to be better than Oxycontin or Percocet - so if you are in pain and can get a doctor's prescription why not?

Sounds like an adults decision. :thumbu:


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[pole_smoker]

Would you enforce this way of being onto others if you could?


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I'm not sure what exactly you're asking here? I have drank coffee/tea, and soda at rare times, used sugar, and drank alcohol with a meal at rare times but I no longer do any of these things. No I would not force other people to do this but it's a matter of taste.

For example just the past weekend I was at a party with friends and had a mango yogurt drink that was being served. I only had one and drank half of it as it was a lot more sweet than the kefir I drink at home for breakfast.

But if sugar or salt, are in things that I eat or drink then I do ingest them; but I don't add sugar, salt, or alcohol to food or drinks.

But I prefer other spices, and when I or my husband cook with red or white wine the alcohol just simply burns off and it's used for flavoring food.

[Browne]

I'm not sure what exactly you're asking here? I have drank coffee/tea, and soda at rare times, used sugar, and drank alcohol with a meal at rare times but I no longer do any of these things.

Why?


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[pole_smoker]

I give them up for long periods of time at times, and I don't like the taste of added salt, sugar, etc. At first it was just to see if I could do it, and then I became used to not using sugar, salt, or drinking caffeine or alcohol at times. But I prefer to drink water, or sometimes I make herbal hot drinks like Hibiscus, chamomile, various flowers, or rooibos that don't have any caffeine in them to relax before bed.

I'm not vegetarian or vegan; but both my husband and I don't eat a lot of red meat, and if we eventually became completely vegetarian, or what people call pescatarian it wouldn't be a surprise for either of us since we already eat a diet high in fish.

[tenni]

Hardcell
Your thread seems to being directed off topic to other topics? Trolls tend to do this.

I'm still getting the message from you that deep down there are two factors or concerns. His age is less than half of your age. You know each other through work and exposing your interests at work bothers you..maybe due to being unclear about the consequences.

Other than you are sexually attracted to him, what benefits over rule the logic of the two cautionary concerns?

[Browne]

Hardcell
Your thread seems to being directed off topic to other topics? Trolls tend to do this.

I don't mind venturing too far off topic so long as productive points are being made. I'll usually just answer those types of questions and leave the ones that veer too far off point on the table.


I'm still getting the message from you that deep down there are two factors or concerns. His age is less than half of your age. You know each other through work and exposing your interests at work bothers you..maybe due to being unclear about the consequences.

His age doesn't really bother me per se, even though we have an age gap we seemed to just naturally gravitate toward one another throughout the day when I'm here. I just don't know what his motivations are when I catch him looking at my nether regions. Is he interested? Is he simply just curious? Is this his way of working his "gaydar"? I don't know. In order to find out I would need to breach the topic and once I do that there is no going back. When things started to get interesting between us, we were having a conversation about marriage and women, as I was once married but am now divorced. And the topic of common law marriage came up and he all of a sudden said something to the effect of when two guys live together for more than 7 years or whatever the time frame the statute states, that they become married. And it was a sudden veering off topic from marriage and women to gay common law marriage. And he said it in a very coy manner. And I just sorta looked at him funny. not knowing what his point was. It may be that he has somehow found out of my sexual orientation, most likely through information obtained online, and he's simply testing me when he does things like that. I don't know.



Other than you are sexually attracted to him, what benefits over rule the logic of the two cautionary concerns?

It's more that my intellectual attraction to him has spurned a physical desire for him. When he first started here I wouldn't have thought twice about him simply because of his physical presentation. I've been celebate for the most part for the past six years. And although I'm perfecy fine being alone with myself, I do and have missed the company of someone to talk to on a deeper level. The Internet has sorta been my crutch for that. But it's no replacement for companionship.


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[pole_smoker]

I would probably get more annoyed than I do with him if only I was so sure of myself AND if I didn't like him so much like I do.

He talks a lot about the girls he's interested in at work. So I don't know what his sexual preference is. He told me yesterday that the first girl he dated was 24 years old, while he was 15 at the time. He said he's an "old soul" which I thought was weird for a 21 year old to say about himself but I agree with it. He says things like I'm one of the few people he opens up to and he has to a degree. But he'll say things like when he comes to work, he'll put on a front and it's not at all what he's like when he's not at work.

He's totally mindfucking me which is really hard to do with me, so I'm totally impressed by that, you see?

Glad you liked the "Find the Others" video.

I've experienced states brought on by LSD a few times, shrooms a few times, Salvia once, cannabis many times. I also have had particular informational sequences induce rather acute mental states as well.


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Did LSD make you aroused when you took it?

A bisexual friend of mine took LSD as a teenager or young adult in the late 60s or very early 70s and said how the drug made him extremly sexually aroused!

Did you take high doses, low doses, of moderate doses?

[Browne]

Did LSD make you aroused when you took it?

A bisexual friend of mine took LSD as a teenager or young adult in the late 60s or very early 70s and said how the drug made him extremly sexually aroused!

Did you take high doses, low doses, of moderate doses?

No arousel but I have heard that can happen. The few times I have done it the trips usually lasted about 12-16 hours.


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[pole_smoker]

No arousel but I have heard that can happen. The few times I have done it the trips usually lasted about 12-16 hours.


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ah OK was it a high dose of LSD? Or is there no way of really telling this?

[tenni]

Ok


I may have missed this in a previous statement but I wonder if the next time you makes anywhere near a comment/question that may touch on same sex activity, why not continue the discussion? Comment yourself showing an openness to same sex play. Ask him a question that sounds like you are leaning towards being in favour of same sex play. You may need to give him back some hints.


Why not invite him out for a beer and chat night and begin to develop a friendship where sexual issues may be let slip out easier?

[Browne]

ah OK was it a high dose of LSD? Or is there no way of really telling this?

The first time I did it was with a bunch of friends on a weekend getaway. We were all into the game "Mortal Kombat" at the time and as soon as it kicked in I became simply untouchable. It was so hysterical how dialed into the zone I became on it. One of my friends was never quite the same after that experience though. But yeah, it was one of my most powerful trips. Another was on shrooms where I sat in a river for hours. Really became one with nature on that one.


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[pole_smoker]

The first time I did it was with a bunch of friends on a weekend getaway. We were all into the game "Mortal Kombat" at the time and as soon as it kicked in I became simply untouchable. It was so hysterical how dialed into the zone I became on it. One of my friends was never quite the same after that experience though. But yeah, it was one of my most powerful trips. Another was on shrooms where I sat in a river for hours. Really became one with nature on that one.


------
When you took LSD did you experience ego death?

What do you mean that you became "untouchable" does that mean that while on LSD you did not want people to touch you while you were on the drug? Or you just got really introspective and did not want to talk?

On mushrooms when you say you became one with nature and were in a river, was it as though you were actually a part of the river and nature itself?

A friend of mine told me how he took mushrooms and how they made him literally go into space, and reality completely changed for the next 4-5 hours or so; but he took a very high dose of them.

[Browne]

Ok


I may have missed this in a previous statement but I wonder if the next time you makes anywhere near a comment/question that may touch on same sex activity, why not continue the discussion? Comment yourself showing an openness to same sex play. Ask him a question that sounds like you are leaning towards being in favour of same sex play. You may need to give him back some hints.


Why not invite him out for a beer and chat night and begin to develop a friendship where sexual issues may be let slip out easier?

I suppose it is me being gunshy. It's funny because when he brought up the topic I had mentioned earlier about naked gardening, at that point I was considering asking him to hook me up with cannabis but as it were I had already had a couple of other people I could go to for it. So when he initially offered I declined and said no thanks. The morning he made the gardening comment, we were alone in one of the rooms I usually sit in to do work. When he asked me if I would "garden naked" I said I would and had a bit of nervous laughter about it when I said it. Kinda like...where is this conversation going and why? And it excited me but at the same time I didn't know how to follow that up. That's precisely when I asked him if he wouldn't mind picking some up for me. So you see it was like he was working on me and I caved into it. Then he asked me for my personal phone number and I balked initially and he noticed that but eventually gave him my number anyways. I've never had an experience quite like this before so I guess I'm nervous about making a mistake. I've never had any sort of relationship like this with a man before. Do you think he is after me from what I've told here? Because it feels like maybe I'm not seeing the forrest through all of the trees.


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[pole_smoker]

I suppose it is me being gunshy. It's funny because when he brought up the topic I had mentioned earlier about naked gardening, at that point I was considering asking him to hook me up with cannabis but as it were I had already had a couple of other people I could go to for it. So when he initially offered I declined and said no thanks. The morning he made the gardening comment, we were alone in one of the rooms I usually sit in to do work. When he asked me if I would "garden naked" I said I would and had a bit of nervous laughter about it when I said it. Kinda like...where is this conversation going and why? And it excited me but at the same time I didn't know how to follow that up. That's precisely when I asked him if he wouldn't mind picking some up for me. So you see it was like he was working on me and I caved into it. Then he asked me for my personal phone number and I balked initially and he noticed that but eventually gave him my number anyways. I've never had an experience quite like this before so I guess I'm nervous about making a mistake. I've never had any sort of relationship like this with a man before. Do you think he is after me from what I've told here? Because it feels like maybe I'm not seeing the forrest through all of the trees.


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Yes this guy might want you sexually, or loves to be a tease; but seriously don't go there if you value your job, keeping it, and want to keep it for the next half of a decade like you posted about.

[Browne]

Yes this guy might want you sexually, or loves to be a tease; but seriously don't go there if you value your job, keeping it, and want to keep it for the next half of a decade like you posted about.

You might be right. I was just standing next to him at the urinals talking to him not two minutes ago, lol. I'll just enjoy all this tension along with the overtime I guess. : )


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[Browne]

When you took LSD did you experience ego death?

What do you mean that you became "untouchable" does that mean that while on LSD you did not want people to touch you while you were on the drug? Or you just got really introspective and did not want to talk?

On mushrooms when you say you became one with nature and were in a river, was it as though you were actually a part of the river and nature itself?

A friend of mine told me how he took mushrooms and how they made him literally go into space, and reality completely changed for the next 4-5 hours or so; but he took a very high dose of them.

Well taking psychedelic drugs is an easy way to experience loss of ego simply because of the boudaries that dissolve in those types of mental states. When I meant untouchable I meant that no one could defeat me in that game, Mortal Kombat. I gues you've never heard of it. Yeah, the river experience was like you described.


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[tenni]

I suppose it is me being gunshy. It's funny because when he brought up the topic I had mentioned earlier about naked gardening, at that point I was considering asking him to hook me up with cannabis but as it were I had already had a couple of other people I could go to for it. So when he initially offered I declined and said no thanks. The morning he made the gardening comment, we were alone in one of the rooms I usually sit in to do work. When he asked me if I would "garden naked" I said I would and had a bit of nervous laughter about it when I said it. Kinda like...where is this conversation going and why? And it excited me but at the same time I didn't know how to follow that up. That's precisely when I asked him if he wouldn't mind picking some up for me. So you see it was like he was working on me and I caved into it. Then he asked me for my personal phone number and I balked initially and he noticed that but eventually gave him my number anyways. I've never had an experience quite like this before so I guess I'm nervous about making a mistake. I've never had any sort of relationship like this with a man before. Do you think he is after me from what I've told here? Because it feels like maybe I'm not seeing the forrest through all of the trees.


------

hmm You are acting like anyone who is interested in somebody else and stumbling to move forward. It reads that you are not very experienced (lately) hitting on or being hit on. You wrote that it has been several years that you have kept more to yourself. It seems like time to open yourself to exploring friendships and sexual intimacy again. You could explore the naked gardening aspect in more detail. Just emphasizing that you would like to try naked gardening but your place is not set up for that. You'd like to visit and maybe check out how he has set up his gardening. Once there, mention that you wonder what it might be like to be naked in this garden and would he be ok with you getting naked...that should get things moving...lol I would not be surprised if he didn't demo naked gardening for you and inviting you to hang out naked in his garden.

[Browne]

hmm You are acting like anyone who is interested in somebody else and stumbling to move forward. It reads that you are not very experienced (lately) hitting on or being hit on. You wrote that it has been several years that you have kept more to yourself. It seems like time to open yourself to exploring friendships and sexual intimacy again. You could explore the naked gardening aspect in more detail. Just emphasizing that you would like to try naked gardening but your place is not set up for that. You'd like to visit and maybe check out how he has set up his gardening. Once there, mention that you wonder what it might be like to be naked in this garden and would he be ok with you getting naked...that should get things moving...lol I would not be surprised if he didn't demo naked gardening for you and inviting you to hang out naked in his garden.

There may be an opportunity for something like this to happen in the future. I'll just say that I'm starting into a hobby that we both have a common interest in and he has expressed interest in assisting another person with the same hobby and told me about it. So I can see it happening at some point between us where things can get much more personal. It would happen towards the end of summer, so it's still a ways off.

I have dated a few people since 2009 but nothing has really stuck.


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[pole_smoker]

Well taking psychedelic drugs is an easy way to experience loss of ego simply because of the boudaries that dissolve in those types of mental states. When I meant untouchable I meant that no one could defeat me in that game, Mortal Kombat. I gues you've never heard of it. Yeah, the river experience was like you described.


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I've heard of the game and movie Mortal Kombat; but were you playing it while on the drug or something?

[Browne]

I've heard of the game and movie Mortal Kombat; but were you playing it while on the drug or something?

Exactly. It was like my mind became so hyper focused that no one could beat my timing, lol. Weird huh?


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[pole_smoker]

Exactly. It was like my mind became so hyper focused that no one could beat my timing, lol. Weird huh?


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I guess? A friend of mine that was depressed took the drug Effexor, since he did not like how Zoloft made him feel tired, and it was as though the Effexor was a stimulant to him.

I was around him that evening and he was talking very fast, and acting as though he had drank a lot of coffee all at once.

[elian]

I have enough of a time with /this/ reality..if I had a chance to leave it, then had to come back, not quite sure how I would deal with that.

My experience has been to witness folks I loved being taken over by drugs..lucky they weren't really into the hardest stuff but at least one did overdose. I can understand that's not everyone's experience, but It's enough for me to stay on the mundane side of things..it was scary watching the people who were supposed to be responsible for me at the time lose control of their own selves. Some of my older friends tell me that they've had a lot of fun when they were younger, but now their body is in pain.

Not saying this to persuade you one way or the other, but to share my own experience.

I guess everyone could use more friends..perhaps this gentleman is just very friendly..who knows.. If you have common interests, why not? otherwise..

[Browne]

I have enough of a time with /this/ reality..if I had a chance to leave it, then had to come back, not quite sure how I would deal with that.

You do leave this reality everyday.

Every night when you go to sleep, it is in-built within your nature, to go to another reality we call dreaming.

Nature designed us to experience different states of consciousness on a DAILY basis, and this activity (dreaming) keeps us mentally healthy.

A "Psychonaut" is somebody who explores different states of consciousness, to see what they can learn from it. And there are many other ways besides consuming drugs that trigger altered states of consciousness. The most profound one I had was informationally based. But "exploring consciousness" is not something embraced by society. One of the aspects of our society is to keep your consciousness occupied with distractions so as you don't start to question what it is that you really are and how you fit into the universe. Essentially you look at everything "out there" whilst not being aware of what is inside of yourself. Psychedelics is a quick way to get there, for those who have the courage to explore it.




My experience has been to witness folks I loved being taken over by drugs..lucky they weren't really into the hardest stuff but at least one did overdose. I can understand that's not everyone's experience, but It's enough for me to stay on the mundane side of things..it was scary watching the people who were supposed to be responsible for me at the time lose control of their own selves. Some of my older friends tell me that they've had a lot of fun when they were younger, but now their body is in pain.

Not saying this to persuade you one way or the other, but to share my own experience.

There are some very unhealthy drugs out there and I'm pretty sure most are at least aware of the risks before they take them. It comes down to personal responsibility at the end of the day. I lost a sister to alcohol a few years ago and it would have been easy for me to blame others who were around her at the time but at the end of the day it was her choice and it was a slow, slow death. It took nearly 3 decades but it finally caught up to her. I can appreciate your point of view here.



guess everyone could use more friends..perhaps this gentleman is just very friendly..who knows.. If you have common interests, why not? otherwise..

He is very friendly and outgoing and his manners are a standout in this day and age. He seems like he has real solid character and every time we interact he leaves me wanting to know more about him. I find the process of finding someone as a companion to be with a very fickle process over these past few years, and I think that really helps to keep me grounded about it all.


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[sysper]

hmmmm it seems more & more like u have some feelings for this guy. maybe u should reconsider things. i'm not saying go for it but maybe it's worth the risk. but remember to think of what could happen if people at work find out. ur loss of a job might make u loose him too. u might feel resentfull of him if that happened. u think this is something u would ever talk to him about? if not give me his number lmao......

[charles-smythe]

…if I thought the guy was mature enough to keep your business private & away from the job site I’d suggest casually mentioning a bar where you hang out (one where the chances of seeing anyone from work or that you know is nil) & when you’ll next be there. If he shows play it from there…the BUT is only if you think he can keep it away from the job site…

[mickitv]

It is never good to play where you work. It just leads to trouble in the end. Sorry!

[elian]

I think I know what you are saying, because I once read a book that I absorbed like a sponge, that sort of talked about one possible way the world might be, but it was terribly painful to unprogram all of that philosophy when I realized that this world is too saturated with the ever-present ego for that to ever happen.

Some of this non-duality stuff is sort of interesting, especially in the context of being bisexual..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVxwDtPFiFY

[pole_smoker]

It is never good to play where you work. It just leads to trouble in the end. Sorry!
Indeed. I did this once when single, and never did it again, and this was at a summer job when I was home from college.

[Browne]

hmmmm it seems more & more like u have some feelings for this guy. maybe u should reconsider things. i'm not saying go for it but maybe it's worth the risk. but remember to think of what could happen if people at work find out. ur loss of a job might make u loose him too. u might feel resentfull of him if that happened. u think this is something u would ever talk to him about? if not give me his number lmao......


Well there's been some progress, but it's not looking like anything is going to happen between us. I was on vacation last week but right before I went I proposed a mutually beneficial "business" deal between us that would have us outside of work. So I felt that if his intentions were to "get with me" outside of work, this would be his chance. He hasn't even acknowledge the offer since I offered, so although I'm disappointed...somewhat...I do feel good about knowing more about where he stands. I think that his actions towards me in the past are probably more of a curiousity on his part than anything else. He has commented to me a few times about my looks. And he did make it known to me in conversation yesterday that he has a "fear of the unknown", so I'm not sure if that was some sort of innuendic respond to my offer in his part. So I'm going to let this go for now. But he is one of the few guys I've encountered in which I've had this sort of emotional response to, so it was a good learning experience for me anyways.


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[Browne]

…if I thought the guy was mature enough to keep your business private & away from the job site I’d suggest casually mentioning a bar where you hang out (one where the chances of seeing anyone from work or that you know is nil) & when you’ll next be there. If he shows play it from there…the BUT is only if you think he can keep it away from the job site…



He hasn't told anyone about the cannabis. So I think the maturity is there.


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[Browne]

It is never good to play where you work. It just leads to trouble in the end. Sorry!

Genrally speaking I'd agree, but only to an extent. You can't use the word "never" here because this is not a situation concerning absolutes. Of course SOME people can handle it. MOST people? Probably not...


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[Browne]

I think I know what you are saying, because I once read a book that I absorbed like a sponge, that sort of talked about one possible way the world might be, but it was terribly painful to unprogram all of that philosophy when I realized that this world is too saturated with the ever-present ego for that to ever happen.

Some of this non-duality stuff is sort of interesting, especially in the context of being bisexual..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVxwDtPFiFY

I really enjoyed the message in that video. One of the greatest taboos in our modern culture is to question what it is that you are. Scientific culture teaches the populace that they are the results of randomness and chance in a universe that knows nothing of us, and cares nothing for us.

And look at at how the population of Earth treats each other because of the "understanding" they are being taught.

Behind all the facades and the ego and the roles we play, what are we? What is it REALLY that is watching the world from behind your eyes?


http://youtu.be/mMRrCYPxD0I


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[elian]

As a human, it can be hard to do - but living in gratitude makes a big difference.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbJ8dp4zK7A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0drT_L4G8w8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mFRUGDY8Ao
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68oB8cF8AZA

[cslutt]

I've had such things occur at my job; one was a fellow employee 20 yrs younger who indicated he was interested in me. But the kicker was that his younger wife was also interested too! So, they invited me to dinner, smoked some pot and all got naked. At first, he fucked her in the ass while i fucked her cunt, then we switched. Then, I got down on my knees and sucked his cock while she used a dildo on herself, then he sucked mine, then we 69'd, then he fucked me in the ass. Cum was flowing out all our holes! It was great, we repeated it several times. He ended up getting promoted and that was that, but it was great fun!