Did you know you were bi before you had sex with the same gender?

[married2bif]

I am straight, or at least think that. My wife and I lived with her g/f for 38 years and the ladies were sexually active. I have posted my story elsewhere so I will skip the details. What is interesting is that my wife said she never thought about sex with a female until I invited her to join her best friend and I, in bed. I then encouraged these two long time friends to kiss and that opened the floodgates. It helped that her girlfriend had experience with other women that she never talked about. It was a much different time back then.

The fact that she never thought about sex with other women or even her longtime girlfriend and yet once she tried it, she liked it, makes me wonder if perhaps the same is true of others, maybe even me. I am not turned on by guys, even when they are naked and having sex right next to me with someone. Yet, I am not disturbed by it either. I am just neutral same as I was watching my wife have sex with another man. Did not excite me. Did not make me feel jealous.

Anyway, has anyone here discovered they were bi after trying it? It might be very different in the current generation because in mine, people suppressed any thoughts of attraction to the same gender. I guess this is a chicken and egg type of question.

[pole_smoker]

It's different for everyone.

Personally my husband and myself both were sexually attracted to both genders/sexes long before we were ever active with them; but we know other bisexual people who did not realize this until they were adults and actually had sex with both sexes.

[charles-smythe]

I am straight, or at least think that. My wife and I lived with her g/f for 38 years and the ladies were sexually active. I have posted my story elsewhere so I will skip the details. What is interesting is that my wife said she never thought about sex with a female until I invited her to join her best friend and I, in bed. I then encouraged these two long time friends to kiss and that opened the floodgates. It helped that her girlfriend had experience with other women that she never talked about. It was a much different time back then.

The fact that she never thought about sex with other women or even her longtime girlfriend and yet once she tried it, she liked it, makes me wonder if perhaps the same is true of others, maybe even me. I am not turned on by guys, even when they are naked and having sex right next to me with someone. Yet, I am not disturbed by it either. I am just neutral same as I was watching my wife have sex with another man. Did not excite me. Did not make me feel jealous.

Anyway, has anyone here discovered they were bi after trying it? It might be very different in the current generation because in mine, people suppressed any thoughts of attraction to the same gender. I guess this is a chicken and egg type of question....more or less...

[Biboz49]

I am straight, or at least think that. My wife and I lived with her g/f for 38 years and the ladies were sexually active. I have posted my story elsewhere so I will skip the details. What is interesting is that my wife said she never thought about sex with a female until I invited her to join her best friend and I, in bed. I then encouraged these two long time friends to kiss and that opened the floodgates. It helped that her girlfriend had experience with other women that she never talked about. It was a much different time back then.

The fact that she never thought about sex with other women or even her longtime girlfriend and yet once she tried it, she liked it, makes me wonder if perhaps the same is true of others, maybe even me. I am not turned on by guys, even when they are naked and having sex right next to me with someone. Yet, I am not disturbed by it either. I am just neutral same as I was watching my wife have sex with another man. Did not excite me. Did not make me feel jealous.

Anyway, has anyone here discovered they were bi after trying it? It might be very different in the current generation because in mine, people suppressed any thoughts of attraction to the same gender. I guess this is a chicken and egg type of question.

I'm of that generation where we suppressed thoughts but this wasn't the case for me. I was sexually excited by both genders from a very early age, around 10 I think, but back then and in teenage years I didn't know anything other than straight or gay. I figured I'm attracted to women so I guess I'm not gay. However I didn't suppress the thoughts I just figured otherwise (I must be straight). Growing older I was still attracted to both genders. Later in life I learned of the bisexual definition and boing a light went off, I'm bisexual because I've always been attracted to both. It was then that I accepted who I was and began to have sex with other men. So my answer is I knew I was bi long before I had sex with the same gender.

[darkeyes]

Think I always knew it even when ver young, and as I moved in2 puberty definitely did so... hadn't a clue what to call it, I just knew I fancied boys, girls, men and women... the fantasies I had.. the dreams.. and in time the experiences...:impleased... filthy, but yummie..:tongue:.

I am lesbian now and some reckon I was never bi, some that I am not gay... I know what I was and what I now am. What others think is immaterial, but while I do not miss sex with men, or group sex with men involved, I do have warm memories of much of (the best of) it;):impleased..

[tenni]

I did not know that I was bisexual the first several times that I had sex with a same gender person. The word "bisexual" was unknown to me. It was very confusing and like biboz I only knew two options and I did not fit either. When I spoke to gay men about their thoughts on love, attraction, etc. I really knew that I was not like them.

[lone-wolf]

I didn't have sex with the same gender until i was 39. It happened during a 3 some with my wife and another guy we met online. I have always had an attraction toward men since i was a teen but never acted on it. once i did i was kicking myself for not trying men sooner.

[pole_smoker]

I didn't have sex with the same gender until i was 39. It happened during a 3 some with my wife and another guy we met online. I have always had an attraction toward men since i was a teen but never acted on it. once i did i was kicking myself for not trying men sooner.
That's a contradictory statement. So you did always know you were sexually attracted to both genders.

[suckemall]

I knew I was bi-sexual early on as a preteenager. As a teenager I had sex with several men while still having strong desires for women. After marrying and joining the swinging scene to watch my wife getting fucked, I realized that I could join and so began our 3somes and me enjoying both sexes in our bedroom.

[lone-wolf]

In hind site i guess i was. Just never acted on it

[Long Duck Dong]

I am like a lot of people, I was attracted to people but there was no name for it... well other than hetero and gay.......

to be honest, I still do not see my interactions with people as bi / pansexual.... I just see them as a attraction to other people because the other person may appear to be male or female but they also may be trans and intersex ... and well I am genderblind, I do not see people in terms of gender and honestly its not really that important to me, to see people as a gender in order to define me as a person and a sexuality.

I did try the * use the label ( and the rulebook of sexuality )* but it actually created a lot of conflict and arguments as other people tried to argue that their definition and understanding of me, was better than my understanding of me.......

I do use the label at times but my friends understand that I use the labels as a way of helping others understand that sexuality is diverse... and my attraction to different people, differs depending on the person, not the gender so the label does not define me

[Annika L]

.yup.

[justafella]

No, but I had thought that it was entirely possible to please someone of the same sex or be pleased by them.

[jamieknyc]

I didn't act on it for a long time after I got interested. I probably wouldn't have gone beyond chat if an online friend hadn't asked to meet.

[pole_smoker]

I didn't act on it for a long time after I got interested. I probably wouldn't have gone beyond chat if an online friend hadn't asked to meet.
Does your wife know you hook up with random men online from internet cyber sex chat rooms on amateur porn sites, suck their cocks, and get fucked up the ass by them?

[elian]

I knew I was "different" at a really young age..I would rather cooperate than compete. I liked males so much that I thought I was gay in my teens, it was only until I found this site many years later and saw threads like this one that I even considered "bisexual" as a real option.

[cuttin2dachase]

No, I didn't know I was bi until my 1st ex-wife talked me into trying oral sex with a man as part of our swinging activities with mf couples and solo male 3some partners. I'm sure glad she talked me into trying it. My 1st time, I was sucked by a guy while my wife helped and his wife watched. While that was going on I was so excited that I almost couldn't wait to get my mouth on his cock. I soon did, with his wife helping me and my wife watching. It turned me on every bit as much as it turned on my wife and our 4some friends. After that night I was a full-fledged cock lover. 3somes with bi men became wifey's and my favorite swing scene and we didn't meet too many more couples after that night. I was 32 years old at the time. Now I'm 61, twice divorced and still loving hot oral sex with men.

[clyde]

Did not think I was bi....
The main reason is when I first fantasized about being with another guy there were only two options known to me.... and I know I wasn't 100% either way....

[man4girlgirl4man]

Yes I definitely knew I was bi before my first ever gay experience. A hot hardcore interracial gay porn magazine was what told me...

[BiCuriousVAN]

I wasn't sure before I had my first experience with another guy. Even after, I still felt I was curious. It was after the second time that I know. Thinking back, I often did wonder what it would be like to be with another man. I got propositioned a few times, so maybe their gaydar detected something I didn't know.

[ohbimale]

I never really gave it much thought. I knew I liked the feel of a guys cock in my hand and I thought I was gay. I was having sex with guys long before I had sex with girls.

[innaminka]

No. But as it happened, something about it felt very very right.
The other woman was "virgin" as well, so the actual techniques/familiarity was about 2/10! But it felt like it was natural.

Even then, however, on reflection, I knew that there had always been some little intensity missing with my life as a hetero wife/mother.

It did indeed start me down the wonderful slope to where I am today.

[Biboz49]

No. But as it happened, something about it felt very very right.
The other woman was "virgin" as well, so the actual techniques/familiarity was about 2/10! But it felt like it was natural.

Even then, however, on reflection, I knew that there had always been some little intensity missing with my life as a hetero wife/mother.

It did indeed start me down the wonderful slope to where I am today.

It was the same for me. As I said earlier in this thread I knew from a very early age. I always knew something was missing in my hetero life and after having a few experiences it was confirmation I am bisexual. Actually the very first time it felt very natural and right for me. And it was actually like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Surprisingly it boosted my self-confidence.

[lone-wolf]

It was the same for me. As I said earlier in this thread I knew from a very early age. I always knew something was missing in my hetero life and after having a few experiences it was confirmation I am bisexual. Actually the very first time it felt very natural and right for me. And it was actually like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Surprisingly it boosted my self-confidence.

This is exactly how i felt after my first time. and yes when i open my bi side it improves my self-confidence by leaps and bounds