Bisexuality Cycles?

[whiskey_girl54]

Hey Y'all,
I just had a question. Does anyone else find themselves leaning more toward guys for a certain length of time and then leaning more toward girls another length of time?


Thanks for your time, I appreciate it.





:flag1: :female:

[hypershot]

Yes, For a long time I have been more straight and gone with girls...now on the other hand I fancy a change and am leaning more towards guys. I have a friend who was the same, he liked girls more, then leant more towards guys...now he's going more with girls again. I guess if you get bored you can switch...Hope that helps...

Love Chris

xXx

[garik]

Yes.

When I'm in a relationship, I'm monogamous, and if it's a good relationship, I don't feel strongly that I need the other sex, but when I'm single, not getting into anything serious, then I do find I swing, or cycle... strange... on the other hand, it's almost liek a gearshift. If I start fantasising about (intentionally or not) or sleeping with women, then I start generally being more attracted to women - and the same with men.

Strange...

[codybear3]

Yes...Its like a garik said. I lean more towards one or the other when I am unattached. But I remain true when dating one of either of the sexes. :cool:

[Whenimcrazy]

I very much go in cycles and I was wondering if that was strange. Now I guess I know it's not. one week I'm looking at every girl I see the next it's every guy. Then if I'm with someone I just want to be with that one person. :bipride:

[SweetAmy]

I have always leaned more towards males as I am only bicurious.

Amy ;) ;)

[Bi-ten]

Fun post here!

I agree there are cycles where my attraction swings slowly, like a heavy pendulum. To complicate this there is the microswing, where I can appreciate any number of handsome men, or delicious women...all in one day (more like everyday).

I also realize there is the third tier, where I am attracted more to the person than the sex...that sometimes the sex is secondary. This usually happens when I get to know someone better and make a deeper connection.

Its what I've noticed, but maybe its because I haven't had sex in 50 days :eek: !!!!

Ciao

[Michael623]

I too have cycles but I am mostly attracted to women. I do get these times where being with a man is dominant. It seems to only last for a little while but being with a man sexually is always there.

[smurf111978]

I'm only just getting used to being Bi and as such havent been with a man. However I have found some days I'm more attracted to men than others and the same with women although my attraction to women is stronger. I do find that the changes in my feelings towards men and women does complicate coming to terms with being Bi

Hugs
Smurf
:bipride:

[m.in.heels&hose]

Another yes here as well
most often i will "girl watch" but there are times when i crave the attention of men.
i know some will find this not to make any sense at all (and even i question it myself)
but thats me! LOL
when it comes to the kinsey rating, i am equal in my sexaul preferances or as i say "i am gender neutral"
thank you for my :2cents:
m.in.heels&hose :flag1:

[jamesck]

Yes I have found the same & it can be very confusing at times. I am not in a relationship and would be faithful if I were with someone. As I am unattached, I have the freedom to choose and have found my attraction to men grow over the past few months. Prior to that time, I was more attracted to women. For me, it seems to build up and a release is needed! I hope this helps. It's good to know others feel the same way.

[DÆMØN]

Fun post here!
I also realize there is the third tier, where I am attracted more to the person than the sex...that sometimes the sex is secondary. This usually happens when I get to know someone better and make a deeper connection.
Ciao


I concurr with Bi-Ten, Its the personality/charisma/chemistry/connectivity thingy that gets to me too :bigrin: Not so much the sex as the person I'm interacting with. I don't see that it 'must' always be sexual, sex itself is a whole other secondary issue when it comes to base attraction to a person. After all one doesn't just jump headlong into bed with just anyone right?

[Ratchick]

MY Bi-Group calls these "cycles", "Girl Phases" or "Guy Phases".
I find a lot fo Bisexuals I know to go through this.
As Shane said from The L Word, "Sexuality is Fluid, just go with it"
;)

-RC

[SweetBlackAngel]

As Shane said from The L Word, "Sexuality is Fluid, just go with it"
;)
-RC

Sounds like a plan! :bigrin: :tongue: :bibounce:

[BoundBiDesire]

[QUOTE=Bi-ten]Fun post here!


I also realize there is the third tier, where I am attracted more to the person than the sex...that sometimes the sex is secondary. This usually happens when I get to know someone better and make a deeper connection.


Good Point Bi-ten, I agree completely. How insightful you are!



:flag1: :female: :smoke: Bound

[mike9753]

I have thought for a long time that sexual arousal, aside from the stimulants in teh environment is cyclical.

I lived for a time overseas, away from my wife. We were seperated for long periods - several months at a time. I never fooled around with anyone during that time, but I did feel more sexual and in need of release during certain periods than others.

For me it seemed to be on a 45 days cycle. I'd be horney as hell for a few weeks, and need to masturbate frequently, then not for about a month and a half.

Not to say that if there were to be some stimulation during that period I would get a woody. Just that over all, I was horney for a few weeks, then my arousal level would wane for 45 days or so, and then perk up again for a few weeks.

Anyone else?

Mike

[rakastuja]

In fantasies I tend to be very cyclic - I fantasize about one thing and next moment I fantasize about something completely different. It has happened that I daydream about girls one week and next week I find penises awfully interesting...

But I dont see it as being more gay or hetero. They are just fantasies and what mind is curious/fond of at the time. I tend to think Im more focused on persons than genders. No matter what I happen to fantasize one week, Im still open to like new person whether its he, she or something else. :)

[Damon]

Regardless of wether you follow this type of thing or not, It is my understanding that this "leaning" one way for a while and then another for a while has a lot to do with astrology. For example anyone who is aware of themselves as an individual and who keeps a very precise personal journal should check up a yearly astrology prediction for their sign for that year.

However, 2 important things to note before doing this are, a person who fits in a star sign has approximately 30 days in which to be born in that specific sign. But the thing to remember is that the signs are also overlapping blankets with a 3 - 6 day period where you will fall in the category of 2 signs (have traits from both signs) So before you go looking into this theory make sure that if you are born at the very beginning or very end of the sign's cycle that you check the readings for both of these signs to be sure. My brother for example has the sensitivity of a pisces but the energy of the bull aries. The other important thing is that you must seek a relevant, legitimate author for these predictions. Some people just have general knowledge and write the book for the cash. Others feel the answers and write the book to aid people (as well as for the cash) :)

but to the point, if you check the prediction charts you will see that when you refer back to your personal journal, the times the prediction says that you will feel "this way" or have ability to do "this thing" WILL co-incide with your journal's entries (if you keep a "precise" journal).

What I'm trying to say is, a person's astrological sign is affected by the shifting of elements in space and that, IMHO is why some of us tend to sway from one sex to the other instead of both all the time.

Hope this helps..

Damon

[wanderingrichard]

i'm not sure if i am cyclic or not.. i kno that most times if i see a hunky guy or a attractive lady that i think i can relate to, i flirt outrageously.. sometimes with both in the same night.. sometimes not.. as for moon cycles, sun cycles, astrological cycles etc, i've never paid attention to it... thanx for pointing out something i need to look into.

[BonesPA]

An interesting topic indeed. Being married I thought my cycles of desires for companionship of another male was unique. I would go for months not thinking of guys or taking any interest in looking. Then I would go for weeks fantasizing and undressing with my eyes every guy I was interested in. Never really linked it to the stars and planets but I guess anything is possible.

[Bicuriousity]

Yes, when i'm happy in a relationship wiht a girl and we have regular sex I'm pretty straight.

After a breakup I go to guys for awhile.

This latest breakup was devastating for me so I've taken quite a break from women.

[mike9753]

Regardless of wether you follow this type of thing or not, It is my understanding that this "leaning" one way for a while and then another for a while has a lot to do with astrology. For example anyone who is aware of themselves as an individual and who keeps a very precise personal journal should check up a yearly astrology prediction for their sign for that year.

However, 2 important things to note before doing this are, a person who fits in a star sign has approximately 30 days in which to be born in that specific sign. But the thing to remember is that the signs are also overlapping blankets with a 3 - 6 day period where you will fall in the category of 2 signs (have traits from both signs) So before you go looking into this theory make sure that if you are born at the very beginning or very end of the sign's cycle that you check the readings for both of these signs to be sure. My brother for example has the sensitivity of a pisces but the energy of the bull aries. The other important thing is that you must seek a relevant, legitimate author for these predictions. Some people just have general knowledge and write the book for the cash. Others feel the answers and write the book to aid people (as well as for the cash) :)

but to the point, if you check the prediction charts you will see that when you refer back to your personal journal, the times the prediction says that you will feel "this way" or have ability to do "this thing" WILL co-incide with your journal's entries (if you keep a "precise" journal).

What I'm trying to say is, a person's astrological sign is affected by the shifting of elements in space and that, IMHO is why some of us tend to sway from one sex to the other instead of both all the time.

Hope this helps..

Damon


Damon:

I'm not sure I buy the astrology explanation, but I do believe that since humans are 90%+ water, our sexuality can be affected by the movements of then moon - you know - tides and so on.

What do you think?

Does your arousal cycles coincide with the phases of the moon?

I have never tried to plot mine against it, but it might be interesting to do.

Mike

[Mistya]

Interesting thoughts here...I never stopped to think about my feelings as shifting or leaning before...but now I am pondering. I think there are so many wonderful qualities that I enjoy in each gender, especially when I am close to some one....I suppose it might be a cycle of sorts. Wow, now I am getting distracted...lol

Thanks for the thoughts y'all :flag1: ...

[Damon]

Damon:

I'm not sure I buy the astrology explanation, but I do believe that since humans are 90%+ water, our sexuality can be affected by the movements of then moon - you know - tides and so on.

What do you think?

Does your arousal cycles coincide with the phases of the moon?

I have never tried to plot mine against it, but it might be interesting to do.

Mike

Thats actually a different story mike.. If you study up on "reiki" you will learn about the moon's cycles..

Like I said, not everyone is into astrology but i have learned more about myself and others through astrology than any other source. I stand by it 100% with absolutely no doubts at all. However, there are a number of people who don't relate to their sign's traits for a number of reasons. Some; being born on the cusp (the overlapping blanket i mentioned), or just the position of the planets at the time of birth, or just the upbringing of that person. If you are a true sponge when it comes to absorbing information in your early years then many of your traits could be altered.

Damon

[tenyearoldbisexual]

When I found out I was bisexual I started liking woman more and more but then I thought,I'm not lesbian I can like guys too.And now each week I kinda go from man to woman and so on.

[Damon]

I think there is nothing wrong with going from man to woman, to man... to woman.. to man... lol

It is in each of us to find balance in what we do. Some people can like men and women "at the same time" and others have to focus their energy on one or the other. This is not a problem in anyway and i do not think that anyone should worry about it at all..

We are all individuals with our own unique patterns and preferences and that is one of the things that makes us attractive to everyone else.

Damon

[BiBiologist]

tenyearoldbisexual,
If you are really ten years old, you need to talk to your parents or other adult you trust about how you feel. People under 18 should not be using this site.

[BiBiologist]

To the grown-ups:
Yes, cycles. This is an interesting thread. I found that when I was on the pill (hormones) for about the first ten years of marriage, that I was less sexual overall, and not as much interested in having a relationship with a woman. When I went off the pill, that is when I noticed an increase in my attractions and needs for women. Also, I notice increased need for sex of any kind when I'm ovulating (Yowza!). Interesting, I didn't think of guys as being as cyclical. Maybe it is the planets!

[OralBradley]

:flag4: [QUOTE=whiskey_girl54]Hey Y'all,
I just had a question. Does anyone else find themselves leaning more toward guys for a certain length of time and then leaning more toward girls another length of time?


Thanks for your time, I appreciate it.


:flag4: :male: I can't correlate it to the time of year so much as antiquity, but as I have aged and visions of my own mortality dance though my head, I certainly feel a very strong want for wone last orgy of cock-sucking.

[12voltman59]

I do find myself going in cycles as well--while I have not had a relationship with a man--there are times when my fantasies are only about having sex with a man and then it can switch to having fantasies only with women.

When I am in a relationship with a woman--I want to be with her and I don't think about being with anyone else at all.

I can also say--I am far more hornier during the heat of the summer. Perhaps it comes from my spending so much time on the water and out in the air when its warm. The sensation of the warm air, sun and water on the skin is a natural turn on for me.

During the winter--it is-- get all bundled up time in heavy clothes, sweaters and fleece blankets.
In the winter I am content to sit near the fire with some good music on--drinking some chai or maybe some tawny port, brandy, sherry or liquore like Grand Marnier while reading a good book.

[JohnnyV]

I want to answer the question, yes, I do tend to go through exclusive phases of liking men, then liking women, then liking men, etc. This is one of the reasons that I can never do a threesome, because I'll only really be into one of the people in the set.

I don't know what triggers one phase or the other. Generally it seems to have more to do with how much testosterone and endorphin I have in my system. When I am lifting a lot of weights and up on my exercise, I tend to feel aggressive and want to be with a woman. When I'm feeling more restful and mellow, maybe even a little sad, I tend to want to be with a man. I guess I'm bi-bi-polar.

For the last five months, for instance, I haven't been able to have sex with my wife because of the pregnancy; but I haven't felt the urge to be with a man at all. Just very little interest. I must watch two full-length hetero porno flicks a day. Last year, at around the same time, I was obsessed with men and went to the arcade at least a few times a week, blowing way too much money on it. The only difference I can see is that a year ago, I wasn't doing any lifting and my testosterone was low; my muscle mass wasn't very developed and the most activity I was doing was walking. For the last 8 months I've been in the habit of working out with weights 4-5 times a week.

J

[Staticharge]

First of all, I'm a newbie around here, so howdy!

And second, I was beginning to think I was the only person that was like this, and wondered if being bi-curious was more of just being bored or something. lol. There are times when the attractions are increased, like lately, and then like over the last few months where I seemed to be more intested in women again. I was more involved with work then than now, so perhaps boredom has something to do with it in a way too, or perhaps I'm just more able to focus on that more now, but even when more interested in women, that other attraction is always hiding in there, popping out at certain moments.

[Mmmarie]

I guess I'm attracted to people first, then I notice gender. I'm a 4 on the Kinsey scale, so it doesn't matter to me what's between someone's legs.
:flag1:
Mmmarie

[smokey]

I have found my sexuality has cycles, ebbs, flows and currents as well. While I am with someone I am faithful to a fault, always have been, but when I am single I play the field as my passion and fancy take me. When I want another man, it is all I can think about sexually until I am satisified, but it doesn't work the other way, perhaps because my overall perference is towards women. As for the dating scene, i will go months dating one sex, then suddenly start dating the other. I cannot say why I have never had a relationship other than sexual with a man, but like I said when I want one I want one.

[smokey]

I guess I'm attracted to people first, then I notice gender. I'm a 4 on the Kinsey scale, so it doesn't matter to me what's between someone's legs.
:flag1:
Mmmarie

The only thing I care about being between someone's legs is me :tong:

[Quasar61]

OK....touched a chord for me as well. Happily monogamous, but find myself having wondering thoughts that sway from one to another.

I find it rather incredible to be surrounded (speaking virtually here...) by such a likeminded group.

I consider myself a human being. I interact with many others. Why should it be considered "different" if I behave differently with different sexes. I just appreciate people for who they are (admittedly, curves and bulges can attract additional attention;) ).

So, yes, cycles - I feel - are just part of who we are.

We are lucky that we can embrace everyone!!!

[Kitty_Thunder_Bay]

:flag2: Yeah... I thought I was messed up, I`d go through a week of just wanting guys and it would start weirding me out cus I`m more attracted to women, it would make me worry that I was loosing my bisexuality :eek: But of course that wouldn`t happen... I think it`s just like food, you may love eating certain things... but sometimes you just get an odd craving for sausage!! lol!!! :flag1:

[DiamondDog]

yes.
Personally, i tend to swing in my attractions. Most of the time i'm more into women (often to the point where i start to doubt that i'm bisexual.) Then BAM, i find myself head over heals for a man. I've even had periods of time where i wasn't into women as much as men.

[Sparks]

My feelings and passion will always be towards women. I do, however, really enjoy sexual realtions with men. Altough I wouldn't call It love in the traditional sense, there is a special feeling though. Two like minded men who first of all like and respect eachother. And secondly, not afraid to express themselves in bed. :2cents:

[PeterH]

I'm a bit too new to all this to be aware of my cycle, but it's interesting to read that the word bicycle can have a different meaning. :)

PeterH

[Mimi]

lol... i thought this thread would be about 2-wheeled transportation for bis. :tong:



Originally posted by Damon:
Regardless of wether you follow this type of thing or not, It is my understanding that this "leaning" one way for a while and then another for a while has a lot to do with astrology.

i'm excited to see astrology being brought in, as i am an amateur astrologist. :bigrin:


Originally Posted by mike9753
I'm not sure I buy the astrology explanation, but I do believe that since humans are 90%+ water, our sexuality can be affected by the movements of then moon - you know - tides and so on.


well, astrology also uses the 90% water theory. it says that we are affected by elements on earth and in space because we are all made of the same thing. we are mostly water, and if the tides of the ocean are affected by the moon then we are also affected by the moon (and other gravitational pulls, etc.) that's why we would be "imprinted" by the position of the planets and stars at the exact time we were born.

mimi :flag1:

[PeterH]

well, astrology also uses the 90% water theory. it says that we are affected by elements on earth and in space because we are all made of the same thing. we are mostly water, and if the tides of the ocean are affected by the moon then we are also affected by the moon (and other gravitational pulls, etc.) that's why we would be "imprinted" by the position of the planets and stars at the exact time we were born.

mimi :flag1:

Does that mean I'm more likely to have an erection when the full moon is high in the sky, as it will pull me up??? :bigrin:
PeterH

[anne27]

I am EXTREMELY glad I ran across this topic! For the past couple of months I have not had much desire for women. Not in my life, my online flirtations, or in my fantasies. I was becoming worried that the 'straight faerie' had come in my sleep and stole my 'bi' essence :eek: . My hubby told me I think too much (which is true), not worry about it, and let this 'phase' run it's natural course.

I went from being a total horndog with women to not even noticing when a sexy girl was around. In the 3 years since I have realized I'm bi and come to terms with it, this has been the first cycle for me where my same sex desires have waned. My sex drive has been very strong where men are concerned lately, so I knew my libido was intact. Honestly though, I was worried something was going on between my ears that I didn't understand.

I'm relieved to find out others have this happen and that it's not permanent. Being bi has become such a part of who I am and how I think, that if I woke up tomorrow straight, I'd really feel a deep loss.

[Mimi]

Orginally posted by PeterH:
Does that mean I'm more likely to have an erection when the full moon is high in the sky, as it will pull me up???
PeterH

that's probably due to another type of energy, not gravitational or astrological... ;)

mimi :flag1:

[DiamondDog]

I "cycle" and I'll be predominantly into one gender for awhile and then it will "flip" and there's always some level of attraction to both.

Even if it's just a fantasy where I am having sex with a woman and a man is just watching me, or I am having sex with a man and I wind up thinking about having sex with a woman during our time having sex.

[Roan's Man]

Bi cycles? I've got three: a road bike, a touring bike and a mountain bike. There are times when I have a somewhat monogamous relationship with one, but generally, I like the variety,

[justmej]

It definately goes in cycles with me. This morning at 7:00 I had great sex with my wife. Now it is 10:30 and I have the biggest craving to be in bed with a man. I guess that makes me bi.........

[leredacteur]

A wonderful post question, WhiskeyGirl, and so many perceptive and insightful responses -- particularly BiTen's.

For myself: there definitely is a pendulum-like swing to my desires. I've never done a daily-calendar analysis but I sense that each cycle of mine is a mathematical function of the 28-day lunar cycle -- 14 days, 28 days, 42 days, and so on-- with the basic 28-day cycle being the most common one for me.

Like Bi-Ten, I've experienced "microswings," in which I've been strongly attracted, for example, to a particular man while I'm in mid-womancycle. But the microswing doesn't alter the direction of the cycle in which it occurs. That is, a sudden attraction to a man during my womancycle, whether he and I act on it or not, won't nudge me out of the womancycle. Each cycle has to run its own full course.

Unlike BiTen, though, I don't experience the "third tier." I'm ALWAYS attracted primarily by the individual, not the individual's sex. My cyclicalism is such that I will fantasize about, and feel my strongest need for, one sex or the other during a cycle. My cycles guide me but don't rule me.

At the moment, I'm in the middle of a long-ish mancycle. I have occasional sex with a very dear woman friend, but the urge for a man has been unusually strong for the past month or so. And no amount of satisfying sex with my woman friend has been able to slake my desire for a man.

[wildangel]

While I am married, I find myself more sexually drawn to women and emotionally drawn to men. It's always been like this. Not that I can't have an emotional connection with a woman or be sexually interested in men, the electricity is just more the other way. It does makes things interesting...

[jedinudist]

Hmmmm.....

BIsexual CYCLES....

BI CYCLES...

BICYCLES!!!!

I think Queen did a great song about us!!

"Bicycles, Bicycles- I want to ride my... Bicycyle!"

If I do cycle, it must be from moment to moment as I usually feel equally attracted to both sexes.

[Herbwoman39]

Most definitely! I'm in a monogamous relationship with a man (married 8 years now) but there are times when I really don't want anything to do with him or men in general and find myself being drawn much more towards women. My tentative theory is that it may be related to hormones because my attraction level varies during the month. iI's not a consistant thing and I haven't exactly noticed a pattern but it just feels that way to me.

[Haemoglobin]

i really like your seasonal hobbys man :) if thats the word . .

so now to the "cycles" . . i dont have that i guess . somehow i find it hard to stick to anything . i can almost be attracted to both sexes at the same time .. jap . i dont prefer any . . though sometimes a penis can do something more than a girl ... its hard anyways in this city to find girls for sex or anything else even . . . they are maybe a bit "frigid" here or too fixed on guys ... they dont know what pleasure i can bring to them :eek: :bigrin:

[macphisto]

Has anyone ever had to deal with an awkward phase in there cycle?

I am just realizing that I may be in a "male" cyclic (and looking back, I may have had some before - but was always attached). But know I've met a wonderful girl, but I'm just not attracted to her at the moment. It would be fine if I was already comfortable with her, but I'm not.

And has anyone ever link this cycle to depression/bi-polarism?

[orpheus_lost]

Has anyone ever had to deal with an awkward phase in there cycle?

I am just realizing that I may be in a "male" cyclic (and looking back, I may have had some before - but was always attached). But know I've met a wonderful girl, but I'm just not attracted to her at the moment. It would be fine if I was already comfortable with her, but I'm not.

And has anyone ever link this cycle to depression/bi-polarism?

I think it tends to be more awkward when you first start noticing it than later when you've come to expect the cycles. At least that's how it was for me, you could be entirely different.

As for the depression/bi-polarism, I can only speak for the depression. I've suffered from periodic depression all my life, but it's never been timed with my swings from "straight" to "gay". My depression usually hits when things are going very well for me. It almost acts as a counterweight to extreme happiness for me.

I wish I had some easy answers for what to do about your girlfriend, but I don't. Anything you do is eventually going to influence your relationship with her or anyone else. If you hide it, she'll sense it and it's really not even like you can tell her you're bisexual and be done with. Most likely, the only thing she'll hear is that you're not physically attracted to her. In the end you're probably going to have to suck it up and break up with her, but once again, I don't know her so I don't know how understanding she will be.

Good luck, and I hope it all works out.

[LouiseBrookslover]

Absolutely. It seems as if when I'm really craving closeness and intimacy, I go into a cycle where I want a woman. When I'm craving adventure, the forbidden, etc.....I go into a cycle in which I want a man.

What's kinda complicated about this is that the "forbidden adventure" of bisexuality is to allow myself to be taken, possessed, held....which is a type of intimacy itself. The difference is that the intimacy I give in this situation, with a man, is an intimacy in which I "playact" if you will. I almost give away the personality that I usually portray in the world. I am no longer my usual self, but a "woman", the type of girl I would be attracted to, doing things only she would do. It is about total surrender of my normal personality.

Of course, my normal personality is STRONGLY driven by a creative element that sees a great deal of fluidity in the human condition. Nothing is more "me" than that element. If it drives me to be a woman for an hour or two, am I really leaving my personality behind, or embracing it in a different way? I think the latter.

[x_Love_me_4_me_x]

yes. At the beginning I was so curious until my ex gf helped me. Now I am in the middle. If I am watching tv with my gf and there is a hot girl on tv I am no longer afraid to admit that she is hot in front of her because before I found out she was bi I was scared to say things like that because she knew I was bi but she knew I had a gf. I was talking to her last night and I found out that there were times when she would be with me and my ex *at the time was my gf* and she would get jealous. how cute is that!

[macphisto]

I think it tends to be more awkward when you first start noticing it than later when you've come to expect the cycles. At least that's how it was for me, you could be entirely different.

As for the depression/bi-polarism, I can only speak for the depression. I've suffered from periodic depression all my life, but it's never been timed with my swings from "straight" to "gay". My depression usually hits when things are going very well for me. It almost acts as a counterweight to extreme happiness for me.

I wish I had some easy answers for what to do about your girlfriend, but I don't. Anything you do is eventually going to influence your relationship with her or anyone else. If you hide it, she'll sense it and it's really not even like you can tell her you're bisexual and be done with. Most likely, the only thing she'll hear is that you're not physically attracted to her. In the end you're probably going to have to suck it up and break up with her, but once again, I don't know her so I don't know how understanding she will be.

Good luck, and I hope it all works out.


Yeah, I know everyone says this, but I just want a normal life with this girl. I've had highly sexual relationships and they always were too passionate and tempestuous. I'd prefer the normal stuff now, but this "other part" of me won't let me follow it without sinking into depression every other week :(

[AndrogynousLuv]

It is in each of us to find balance in what we do. Some people can like men and women "at the same time" and others have to focus their energy on one or the other. This is not a problem in anyway and i do not think that anyone should worry about it at all..

We are all individuals with our own unique patterns and preferences and that is one of the things that makes us attractive to everyone else.

Damon

I couldn't agree more in this assesment; thanks Damon. For myself, it is whoever has come into my spectrum of desire...hmmm, now that's a provocative statement. It just so happens that as of the last few years it's been mostly men. But that has nothing to do with my desire being more for men. It's just that men are more readily available sexually than women are without a courtship...i.e., casual sex. Neither good nor bad, it just is what it is. Anyhow, I don't rule out cycles for some people. It certainly has its logic. For myself though, I don't think it's the case. I am always desiring both sexes and both fulfill for different reasons. It's lovely being bisexual.

[Azrael]

I definetely seem to rapid cycle myself. I love people, period.

[orpheus_lost]

Yeah, I know everyone says this, but I just want a normal life with this girl. I've had highly sexual relationships and they always were too passionate and tempestuous. I'd prefer the normal stuff now, but this "other part" of me won't let me follow it without sinking into depression every other week :(

It's starting to sound like you just want someone to tell you that everything is okay and that you'll get over this non "normal" problem. I don't think anyone at this site is likely to do that. You are who you are and that's all there is to it. You can fight it, you can whine about it, you can ignore it, and you can deny it, but it will always be there and the sooner you learn to accept it and maybe even rejoice in it, the better you'll be.

By the way, bisexuality is normal. We account for the vast majority of humans on this planet. The only thing about us that may be out of the ordinary is our willingness to accept who we are.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but it's the truth. Take the advice or leave it - your choice.

[AndrogynousLuv]

So very well put Orpheus Lost! It's exactly what I have come to terms with myself over the last 8 years. Embracing our bisexuality is the best medicine I know of. For too long, we've allowed others to dictate and define who and what we are. I don't want to get into another extreme nor feel that we must do something like gay pride or start having marches or parades. The beauty of bisexuality to me is a certain subtleness. It's really a peaceful kind of acceptance we bring to ourselves and don't have to prove anything to anyone. Our strength comes in this communion of sharing as we do here. It's not being secretive; it's in living it and being open about it with one another and anyone who's willing to listen without the feeling we have to convince or convert others to see us or accept us. I think one of the greatest differences we bisexuals have in comparison to the gay community is not having to prove anything to anyone. To say that we don't or haven't had our own share of persecution or foul judgements for who we are is as we all know not true. But again, we manage to be who we are without having to prove a single thing and I think that's the beauty of it in a certain way.

[Herbwoman39]

Most definitely! I'm in a monogamous relationship with a man (married 8 years now) but there are times when I really don't want anything to do with him or men in general and find myself being drawn much more towards women. My tentative theory is that it may be related to hormones because my attraction level varies during the month. iI's not a consistant thing and I haven't exactly noticed a pattern but it just feels that way to me.


I just wanted to add something to my previous post. Last night I was looking a Hugh Laurie's site. Damn, he is SO HOT. Odd thing is after about 20 minutes of drooling over him, I started feeling really twitchy and on edge. So I went over to the Pussycat Dolls website and after a few minutes of droolong there, felt MUCH better. It actually felt like relief.

Odd, huh?

[LouiseBrookslover]

I have lots of Laurie's work from over the pond (where he was primarily a comedic actor). I've always liked him, too, although I haven't seen much of his US show. I'm really glad he's having success over here. I thought he very well might be too good for American TV.

Try to rent A Bit of Fry and Laurie and Blackadder III for some of Hugh's best work.

[bi4asplay]

:flag2: Yeah... I thought I was messed up, I`d go through a week of just wanting guys and it would start weirding me out cus I`m more attracted to women, it would make me worry that I was loosing my bisexuality :eek: But of course that wouldn`t happen... I think it`s just like food, you may love eating certain things... but sometimes you just get an odd craving for sausage!! lol!!! :flag1:

I am always wanting a woman. At times a man is on my mind a lot. At those times when I have a fantasy running around in my head it has to do with myself, A man ,and a woman. At those time I am craving a man to share with her. At other times it may be months between craving some cock. So I think that we all run in cycles.

[okbiguy]

I'm like that, I'll get on a streak of just wanting to suck guys then I'll lean toward women but I always love the 2 together.

[CamStar94]

When I'm in a monogamous relationship like I am right now, the urge to be with men is next to none for whatever reason. It's not that I'm supressing it or anything - I even occasionally try masturbating to fantasies which normally would get me off, but they do nothing for me. Like another poster said in this thread, I get so into my straight side I question if I am even bisexual at all. Then, BAM, turned on by men as well. It's taken me a lot of courage and patience to being accepting these desires, but I am starting to feel a whole lot better everytime I come to this site.

[elian]

I used to feel that way but I'll frame it a differently - sort of like, "that time of the month" when I personally feel more submissive. I just really long to be intimate with someone; where intimate includes all of the different ways of being close to someone, sharing love, affection, time, pleasure.. As I've accepted myself as bisexual more and come out more my hard perceptions of boundaries such as "cycles" seem to blur. I just "am".

[scapegoat1987]

As someone new to this site, I find it reaffirming to read all of the comments on this post. It seems silly, when I actually take the time to logically think about it, for me or anyone to ever assume that people are equally attracted to males and females at all times. Heck, I'm not always in the mood for chocolate ice cream; sometimes I want strawberry instead. But isn't that one of the stereotypes (or misnomers) that we fall into? And I love the quote from Shane of "The L Word" as well as the terms "guy phase" and "girl phase." I think I'll start using those. :)