World War Bisexual.com

[JaredT77]

Or is it more like a civil war? Lately, it seems like there is some kind of battle on this site and harsh language being thrown at each other. We all have different views of our bisexuality and how the world views us. The world does actually know that we exist on this planet. We are out there among everyone else and among each other but we probably don't even know it. I pick and choose who I tell that I'm bisexual. I may tell a friend or a random stranger while in a conversation. I might tell a co-worker or a next door neighbor. It's my life and my decision on who I tell. I'm not just going to take my secret to my grave. I choose NOT to tell my own family because I don't want to hear the lectures and don't need any new drama in my life. Again, it's my life and my decision.

But the one thing I am noticing on here is a war using words on here a lot. People might say it's the work of one man trying to get underneath everyone's skin. Yeah he does come off sounding harsh but he does make a lot of sense. Sometimes someone does need to throw a reality check to those living in a fantasy world. I have had words with this individual and we would go back and forth but then I realized how childish and immature I was acting. So instead I chose to apologize and extend my hand in friendship and he accepted. I chose to respect a man that I have never met instead of insulting him.

I'm asking people on here to be MATURE and RESPECTFUL on here to state your grievances and let's come up with RATIONAL and MATURE ways to handle it. I know I come off sounding harsh and extreme but I am willing to change my ways. I'm actually a really nice guy and down to earth person. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I do admit when I'm wrong. I'm not wrong in asking a person for their friendship.

So what's your issues? How can we solve your issues in a rational way?

[by~his~side]

JaredT,
Kudos to you for taking the high road. I applaud your perspective.
I used to be on this site more frequently. I used to comment in the threads. Now I just log in once a month or so just to keep my profile active. The culture has soured and the atmosphere no longer shows me much to consider positive.
Sad to say, but I don't hold much hope that some of these members (the few that trample on the feelings of others) are interested in coming in from a different angle. This subject has been addressed before but still the hits just keep coming.
I have lost my cool once or twice on a thread. Posted a thought or opinion that was punchier than necessary. I am, after all, human. The difference between *them* and us, Jared, is that we don't live our everyday lives being harsh. We have a filter. And we use it. I have no doubt that I am even tempered, polished, and likeable. In my life are the most awesome people who have chosen me as friends. Friends who have outstanding character and pure hearts. Life is a mirror. You get what you give. And if one should feel that they aren't getting as nice as they give then they need to step back and honestly evaluate the exchange. It's the ones who think they aren't the problem that sometimes are.

Dee

[JaredT77]

JaredT,
Kudos to you for taking the high road. I applaud your perspective.
I used to be on this site more frequently. I used to comment in the threads. Now I just log in once a month or so just to keep my profile active. The culture has soured and the atmosphere no longer shows me much to consider positive.
Sad to say, but I don't hold much hope that some of these members (the few that trample on the feelings of others) are interested in coming in from a different angle. This subject has been addressed before but still the hits just keep coming.
I have lost my cool once or twice on a thread. Posted a thought or opinion that was punchier than necessary. I am, after all, human. The difference between *them* and us, Jared, is that we don't live our everyday lives being harsh. We have a filter. And we use it. I have no doubt that I am even tempered, polished, and likeable. In my life are the most awesome people who have chosen me as friends. Friends who have outstanding character and pure hearts. Life is a mirror. You get what you give. And if one should feel that they aren't getting as nice as they give then they need to step back and honestly evaluate the exchange. It's the ones who think they aren't the problem that sometimes are.

Dee

Well Dee, hate to see you leave on account of somebody else but welcome back.

I am trying to take the high road. Again. Like you or anybody else, I have lost my cool on here and started getting immature and irrational. I admit it. I'm only human too and I am human first and then I'm bisexual. There is nothing special about me or I'm not better than anybody on here. Read my latest blog and I'm just a simple kind of man.

I don't go everywhere talking shit to people or trying to start a fight. Just like you said, we're not trying to go around being harsh with everyone we encounter on a daily basis. I'm probably the same as you. Also I rather fuck than fight. Lol!

Probably the best solution is just choose the high road and not respond back to someone that is just trying to goad you into losing your cool. But one thing that gets on my nerves are the ones that you may not agree with and they belittle you for not thinking like them. Almost like they are laughing at you for not agreeing with them. Those are the people I can do without on here and in the real world.

Thank you Dee.

[BiFiHotspot]

Conflict may lead to getting your schwartzes tangled.32846

[JaredT77]

Conflict may lead to getting your schwartzes tangled.32846

LOL! Great movie!

[Melody Dean]

"Why can't we all just get along?!"

Really though, I think as a group, we've experienced more repression (or fear of repression) than the average public. While that should bring us together, our experiences have been wildly different, and I think that can make us combatitive. So before we even come in here, we're already on the defensive.

I can spurt all those typical lines, like remember that everyone is fighting their own battles, but we all know that already. It's my wish that before posting anything negative, that everyone can take a moment to rephrase their comment to make it more constructive, to add to the conversation instead of just flame.

Group hug? (Hey, watch where you're putting those hands!)

[PeninAZ]

Group hug? (Hey, watch where you're putting those hands!)

:grouphug:

[JaredT77]

"Why can't we all just get along?!"

Really though, I think as a group, we've experienced more repression (or fear of repression) than the average public. While that should bring us together, our experiences have been wildly different, and I think that can make us combatitive. So before we even come in here, we're already on the defensive.

I can spurt all those typical lines, like remember that everyone is fighting their own battles, but we all know that already. It's my wish that before posting anything negative, that everyone can take a moment to rephrase their comment to make it more constructive, to add to the conversation instead of just flame.

Group hug? (Hey, watch where you're putting those hands!)

Love the Rodney King reference! I have been thinking the same thing a lot! That and that song, "Why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends.........."

We definitely need a group hug Melody Dean, the whole site, but no guarantees that people will be watching where they put their hands. I'm all for people grabbing my ass! Lol!

On a serious note, your posting is nothing but good points. We all are different people but we are all bisexual. That doesn't mean that we all think a like. You have told me quite a few times that I am being harsh and too extreme and I really do appreciate you for telling me each time. I have come to realized that in a argument, it is better to just walk away because then it will escalate further and further and solve absolutely nothing.

Thank you Melody Dean and thank you for being my friend.

[BiFiHotspot]

"Why can't we all just get along?!"

Really though, I think as a group, we've experienced more repression (or fear of repression) than the average public. While that should bring us together, our experiences have been wildly different, and I think that can make us combatitive. So before we even come in here, we're already on the defensive.

I can spurt all those typical lines, like remember that everyone is fighting their own battles, but we all know that already. It's my wish that before posting anything negative, that everyone can take a moment to rephrase their comment to make it more constructive, to add to the conversation instead of just flame.

Group hug? (Hey, watch where you're putting those hands!)
32850

[JaredT77]

Also, for those of you complaining about pole_smoker, I hate to tell you but pole_smoker is not going anywhere just because people don't like him. Him and I had our issues in the past but we resolved them through mature ways. If you don't like what he's saying, just don't respond back. He's actually a really nice guy once you get to know him.

[Wizzee]

[QUOTE=JaredT77;280250 I have come to realized that in a argument, it is better to just walk away because then it will escalate further and further and solve absolutely nothing. [/QUOTE]

I learned that many years ago. When I came back from Viet Nam, I had real trouble controlling my temper, and unfortunately, when I lost my cool, somebody usually got hurt. It took several years to learn to keep it under control. You know the old saying, "It does no good to lose your temper!" Well, that is very true, don't lose it, because nobody else wants it either !
I just found it easier on me, and safer for those around me, to just walk away whenever safe enough to do so. I don't need anymore notches on my guns, and I sure didn't need to pay anyone else's medical bills. Gets somewhat expensive. That is why my sig is a bit philosophical. Kinda humorous in a way, but damn good advice. If someone is often putting me on edge, I have no problem using the ignore feature. No need for me to get upset, just because I don't agree with someone, and arguing does little good, except to prove I am on their same level. As a great intellect once remarked, "'Tis a far better choice to keep you mouth closed, and be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt!"

Peace+ :2cents:

[JaredT77]

I learned that many years ago. When I came back from Viet Nam, I had real trouble controlling my temper, and unfortunately, when I lost my cool, somebody usually got hurt. It took several years to learn to keep it under control. You know the old saying, "It does no good to lose your temper!" Well, that is very true, don't lose it, because nobody else wants it either !
I just found it easier on me, and safer for those around me, to just walk away whenever safe enough to do so. I don't need anymore notches on my guns, and I sure didn't need to pay anyone else's medical bills. Gets somewhat expensive. That is why my sig is a bit philosophical. Kinda humorous in a way, but damn good advice. If someone is often putting me on edge, I have no problem using the ignore feature. No need for me to get upset, just because I don't agree with someone, and arguing does little good, except to prove I am on their same level. As a great intellect once remarked, "'Tis a far better choice to keep you mouth closed, and be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt!"

Peace+ :2cents:

Thanks Wizzee! And thank you for serving our country. I always enjoy it when people tell me that but I never get a chance to tell my fellow brothers and sisters the same thing. I normally say "thank you for your support."

I saw a awesome movie about The Legend Chris Kyle in American Sniper. Directed by Clint Eastwood and starring Bradley Cooper. True bad ass! Shame he was taken away from his family from a fellow Veteran.

[Wizzee]

Thanks Wizzee! And thank you for serving our country. I always enjoy it when people tell me that but I never get a chance to tell my fellow brothers and sisters the same thing. I normally say "thank you for your support."

I saw a awesome movie about The Legend Chris Kyle in American Sniper. Directed by Clint Eastwood and starring Bradley Cooper. True bad ass! Shame he was taken away from his family from a fellow Veteran.

You are quite welcome, it was my privilege to do so. Back in the day, you had little choice. If you didn't get drafted, that gave you the opportunity to choose either to serve, or to carry on with your lucky life. If you got drafted, the choices were fairly limited, also: Go serve, go to jail, or run to Canada. I was one of those in-betweens that saw how low my draft number was, and knew I would get drafted, eventually, so I volunteered, just so I could get my choice of military branch to be in. So, yeah, you could say I chose to serve, but it really wasn't much of a choice. But I DID go, and came back in one piece, physically. Unfortunately, regardless of what era of history, or what theater of combat, if you have served combat time, you realize that NOBODY makes in home in one piece, mentally or emotionally. I'm just so very glad the powers-that-be are beginning to realize this and starting to provide psychological and psychiatric help to returning vets. I am a Christian, and I hope I don't offend anyone by saying "God bless the members of our military, past, present, and future, female or male!" Bless them ALL !

As to the movie, American Sniper, I still don't have any interest in seeing any movies about warfare any more recent than WW II. I find that movies about Korea, Viet Nam, Panama, The Middle East, etc. hit a little too close to home. I haven't even seen Full Metal Jacket, or Apocalypse Now. I'm afraid I would either start laughing, or crawl under my seat, screaming "INCOMING ! ! !"

[nomorenomore]

Yeah, I was coming here every day, but once the war started, I kind of just came whenever. It was either a plethora of polls, some asking the same question a different way, or attacks on each other. I ended up spending more time over on Shybiguy because there was more discussions about
things that affect us, interactions with families, friends, social issues, etc. More intellectual discussions than the "hey wanna see my dick" threads. Not that I don't like looking at a nice cock, but I am just trying to learn to deal who I am, my desires, my needs.

[tenni]

I think that there have been differing views on this site since I joined in 2006. I didn't pay much attention to the forum until 2009. I found a domination of a few who used inside jokes bothersome. I think that there will always be disagreement but how the differing views are dealt with is what may give an impression of a war. Hostile aggressive postings happen here on bi.com. Rule 2 is violated with no consequence.

I too visit shy bi and it has very strict moderation and rules are applied with hitting on another guy(PM) as cause of removal. At times, shy bi feels too restrictive but there is a positive tone there that nomore refers to. The basic idea may be discussed about sex as on bi.com but there has grown a less empathetic approach to posters on bi.com. Each year, self disclosure ridiculing has increased on bi.com. Presently, there is a hostile negative presence on bi.com that is choking it. Shy bi is segregated by gender basically but there still is less crass discourse and more supportive and realistic postings on the men area than bi.com. Tolerance of differences and a more intelligent discourse happens rather than graphic sophomoric sexual parts/polls. It seems to be the major difference as to why some may see waring happening on bisexual.com Moderation seems to be the main difference. Bi.com has resisted moderation because it has been thought to be self moderated by the owner of bi.com(drew).

[Melody Dean]

I think that there have been differing views on this site since I joined in 2006. I didn't pay much attention to the forum until 2009. I found a domination of a few who used inside jokes bothersome. I think that there will always be disagreement but how the differing views are dealt with is what may give an impression of a war. Hostile aggressive postings happen here on bi.com. Rule 2 is violated with no consequence.

I too visit shy bi and it has very strict moderation and rules are applied with hitting on another guy(PM) as cause of removal. At times, shy bi feels too restrictive but there is a positive tone there that nomore refers to. The basic idea may be discussed about sex as on bi.com but there has grown a less empathetic approach to posters on bi.com. Each year, self disclosure ridiculing has increased on bi.com. Presently, there is a hostile negative presence on bi.com that is choking it. Shy bi is segregated by gender basically but there still is less crass discourse and more supportive and realistic postings on the men area than bi.com. Tolerance of differences and a more intelligent discourse happens rather than graphic sophomoric sexual parts/polls. It seems to be the major difference as to why some may see waring happening on bisexual.com Moderation seems to be the main difference. Bi.com has resisted moderation because it has been thought to be self moderated by the owner of bi.com(drew).

I think you're right about the moderation. I like that there is minimal moderation, but right now we have none, and that can cause many problems. We've been lucky so far, but some day, spammers or trolls (not just people who act inappropriately, but the nonsense trolls) are going to find the forum and have a free-for-all.

[JaredT77]

This is good so far. I want everyone to air out your issues and concerns. Let's be calm and mature on this Thread. I enjoy coming to this site more than Facebook. I feel like I can truly be myself on here. I want to keep on coming on this site and just be myself. We do need to show more restraint and respect for all. I'm guilty of letting my anger getting the better of me but I'm willing to turn over a new leaf. I advise others of doing the same as well.

[JaredT77]

I think that there have been differing views on this site since I joined in 2006. I didn't pay much attention to the forum until 2009. I found a domination of a few who used inside jokes bothersome. I think that there will always be disagreement but how the differing views are dealt with is what may give an impression of a war. Hostile aggressive postings happen here on bi.com. Rule 2 is violated with no consequence.

I too visit shy bi and it has very strict moderation and rules are applied with hitting on another guy(PM) as cause of removal. At times, shy bi feels too restrictive but there is a positive tone there that nomore refers to. The basic idea may be discussed about sex as on bi.com but there has grown a less empathetic approach to posters on bi.com. Each year, self disclosure ridiculing has increased on bi.com. Presently, there is a hostile negative presence on bi.com that is choking it. Shy bi is segregated by gender basically but there still is less crass discourse and more supportive and realistic postings on the men area than bi.com. Tolerance of differences and a more intelligent discourse happens rather than graphic sophomoric sexual parts/polls. It seems to be the major difference as to why some may see waring happening on bisexual.com Moderation seems to be the main difference. Bi.com has resisted moderation because it has been thought to be self moderated by the owner of bi.com(drew).

This site does cater to just about anyone. I have never heard of the other site but there are people looking to hook up. There are those that are seeking intelligent conversations on bisexuality issues. Then there are those are just looking to share sexual experiences and do polls for those willing to vote. Nothing wrong with either of the three but we should be more tolerant of those that are on here for different reasons.

[sysper]

This site does cater to just about anyone. I have never heard of the other site but there are people looking to hook up. There are those that are seeking intelligent conversations on bisexuality issues. Then there are those are just looking to share sexual experiences and do polls for those willing to vote. Nothing wrong with either of the three but we should be more tolerant of those that are on here for different reasons.
what i'm looking for here mainly is to explore my sexual feelings, understand them, get in touch with them......look for others to help & hopefully i can help some people too. kinda be part of a support group. also hoping to make a few friends, maybe meet & see where things go if there nearby. also tbh like to look @ pix of what is underneath those cloths :) but to be a bit more serious about it it's part of my exploration.

[12voltyV2.0]

I hate to say it----but the sort of thing we are talking about in this thread----it is what is going on out there in the real world---just read your paper and watch the TV news----think of all the groups that are going at it---far too many to list---but it doesn't spare anyone.

I do think that this is not by accident----to me its all been manufactured and amped up thanks to our 24/7 media.

I also think that goal is to get, in just about every possible way imaginable, to play the old game of "divide and conquer" and also adding in distraction, deflection and misdirection to that mix.

It would be nice if this site could be a haven from that----but I guess we are not immune and you can cynically ask: "why should this website be any different from what is going on on sites like Facebook or out in the streets in places like Ferguson or what have you?

[void()]

* lobs the words Swamp, Desert, Landfill, Dump, Wreckage, Crumbs, Sleaze, Without Beans at some passing forum stranger, notes he has just tossed harsh words at people, sighs and ambles on *

[JaredT77]

* lobs the words Swamp, Desert, Landfill, Dump, Wreckage, Crumbs, Sleaze, Without Beans at some passing forum stranger, notes he has just tossed harsh words at people, sighs and ambles on *

Shaking my head, void(), shaking my head. Ironically, All Along The Watchtower is playing on the radio.

[void()]

Shaking my head, void(), shaking my head. Ironically, All Along The Watchtower is playing on the radio.

Well, I could not resists tossing harsh words at others. *chuckles* I'll be the Joker & Fool. Seems after a psych therapy visit today, I wear both hats anyway. Patient and psychologist both that is. Honestly, they give me 'dope' what knocks me out when I get 'anxious' or 'upset'. They cannot figure out what is 'wrong' with me aside from I do not think as others, and apparently this is 'bad'/'wrong'. So, I get useless dope what does nothing except knock me out a few hours, so nobody has to 'deal' with me. Yay! The joys of 'modern' pharma-psychology. I am waiting for them to suggest lobotomy or electrode-therapy. Doubt they would get the humor in me singing, "rather have a bottle in front of me ..." But oh well, life is absurd then we die. *shrugs* Damn shame I can't stay dead. :(

[JaredT77]

Well, I could not resists tossing harsh words at others. *chuckles* I'll be the Joker & Fool. Seems after a psych therapy visit today, I wear both hats anyway. Patient and psychologist both that is. Honestly, they give me 'dope' what knocks me out when I get 'anxious' or 'upset'. They cannot figure out what is 'wrong' with me aside from I do not think as others, and apparently this is 'bad'/'wrong'. So, I get useless dope what does nothing except knock me out a few hours, so nobody has to 'deal' with me. Yay! The joys of 'modern' pharma-psychology. I am waiting for them to suggest lobotomy or electrode-therapy. Doubt they would get the humor in me singing, "rather have a bottle in front of me ..." But oh well, life is absurd then we die. *shrugs* Damn shame I can't stay dead. :(

void (), we love you because you are OUR crazy bisexual bastard.