Shazam
Dec 27, 2014, 8:33 AM
Most of us acknowledge the value of good communication as a preqequisite for good sex. Sometimes when I reflect back on my past sexual encounters I wonder, "What would have happened if only I had the courage to say this . . . or say that? What if I had simply told him (or her) "I liked this (or that) . . . would you do it?" or, "Would you like me to do this or that?" Of course some times we just do "it" - or have "it" done - without the need for any verbal expression. But my guess is that we all experienced times when we wished there had been more. We all miss opportunities. If you have ever come away from a sexual encounter wondering what might have - what could have been, listen up; this advice is for you.
I submit the act of verbalizing desired sexual behaviors adds to the fullness of sexual enjoyment for both parties. One of my criticisms of most porn films is the absence of any meaningful dialogue among the participants. The only utterances one sometimes hears is the occasional grunt, or "Yeah!" "Yeah!" We can and should do better than that. We can and should be more communicative than the lower species of animals. And we should expect and encourage more verbalization from our partners too. It takes a conscious - and possibly courageous - choice on our part to be more verbal. But it can and should be done. The results can be surprisingly rewarding if you do it. You should take the risk of offending your partner. My bet is that they'll silently thank you for doing it and with any luck, they'll quickly surpass your ability in employing this acquired talent . . . the talent of talking dirty while having sex.
One dirty talking technique I employ I call "Elicit and response" (for want of a better expression) It happens like this:
Instead of simply - and minimally - stating "I love the way you are sucking my cock", I ASK, "Do you like sucking my cock?" And when he (or she) responds by simply nodding their heads, I instruct them (for this is the learning moment.) I tell them to back off my cock and restate the complete sentence I just uttered. I instruct them to say, "I love sucking your cock." Tell them to say it! Have them say clearly and out loud: "I love sucking your cock." Though initially surprised or hesitant, with luck they'll respond as requested and be grareful you gave them permission to actually say the words out loud.
The principle is to have your partner repeat the complete sentence, not simply utter a yes or no, or nod or grunt. By having the other echo back the specific words, more verbalization is introduced and, believe me, it works. Both parties love it. The more explicit and "dirtier" the words used, the more heightened the positive effect. Words such as "cock", "suck", "prick", "fuck", "pussy", "asshole", etc. are all good. The dirtier, the better. Go there - and repeat the same words frequently if necessary. Saying anything is better that saying nothing. Talk dirty and talk dirty often.
For most of us, the more uninhibited the sexual practices we employ, the greater the pleasure. When we were young we were all instructed to avoid engaging in all kinds of taboo behaviors. Among these was the injunction: "Don't say that; it's dirty!" Avoidance of talking dirty to your partner while in the bedroom is simply another taboo to shed. We've had the courage to shed other prohibitions, so we should add this to our list of accomplishments; it will yield richer experiences for both you and your partner. Try it; you'll like it.
As a concluding note let me add the following.
One of the funniest lines I ever heard delivered on TV was uttered by the actress Cloris Leachman who played the role of a girlfriend to Mary Tyler Moore on that old great show bearing Mary's name. Cloris's character was married to a never-shown husband called Lars. In response to Mary's complaint that she, Mary, was lonely, Cloris responded, "Mary, you don't know what loneliness is until you've slept with Lars."
Don't be a Lars; talk. And talk dirty.
I submit the act of verbalizing desired sexual behaviors adds to the fullness of sexual enjoyment for both parties. One of my criticisms of most porn films is the absence of any meaningful dialogue among the participants. The only utterances one sometimes hears is the occasional grunt, or "Yeah!" "Yeah!" We can and should do better than that. We can and should be more communicative than the lower species of animals. And we should expect and encourage more verbalization from our partners too. It takes a conscious - and possibly courageous - choice on our part to be more verbal. But it can and should be done. The results can be surprisingly rewarding if you do it. You should take the risk of offending your partner. My bet is that they'll silently thank you for doing it and with any luck, they'll quickly surpass your ability in employing this acquired talent . . . the talent of talking dirty while having sex.
One dirty talking technique I employ I call "Elicit and response" (for want of a better expression) It happens like this:
Instead of simply - and minimally - stating "I love the way you are sucking my cock", I ASK, "Do you like sucking my cock?" And when he (or she) responds by simply nodding their heads, I instruct them (for this is the learning moment.) I tell them to back off my cock and restate the complete sentence I just uttered. I instruct them to say, "I love sucking your cock." Tell them to say it! Have them say clearly and out loud: "I love sucking your cock." Though initially surprised or hesitant, with luck they'll respond as requested and be grareful you gave them permission to actually say the words out loud.
The principle is to have your partner repeat the complete sentence, not simply utter a yes or no, or nod or grunt. By having the other echo back the specific words, more verbalization is introduced and, believe me, it works. Both parties love it. The more explicit and "dirtier" the words used, the more heightened the positive effect. Words such as "cock", "suck", "prick", "fuck", "pussy", "asshole", etc. are all good. The dirtier, the better. Go there - and repeat the same words frequently if necessary. Saying anything is better that saying nothing. Talk dirty and talk dirty often.
For most of us, the more uninhibited the sexual practices we employ, the greater the pleasure. When we were young we were all instructed to avoid engaging in all kinds of taboo behaviors. Among these was the injunction: "Don't say that; it's dirty!" Avoidance of talking dirty to your partner while in the bedroom is simply another taboo to shed. We've had the courage to shed other prohibitions, so we should add this to our list of accomplishments; it will yield richer experiences for both you and your partner. Try it; you'll like it.
As a concluding note let me add the following.
One of the funniest lines I ever heard delivered on TV was uttered by the actress Cloris Leachman who played the role of a girlfriend to Mary Tyler Moore on that old great show bearing Mary's name. Cloris's character was married to a never-shown husband called Lars. In response to Mary's complaint that she, Mary, was lonely, Cloris responded, "Mary, you don't know what loneliness is until you've slept with Lars."
Don't be a Lars; talk. And talk dirty.