So, How does your bisexuality "work" in your life? [Archive]

12voltyV2.0

Dec 4, 2014, 11:48 AM

Even though we are bound to get some off the wall comments from our resident troll----put the guy on ignore status and please feel free to tell us how you are finding or have found that the way your bisexuality gets played out in the way that you are now living your life.

Now---if our "troll" does actually have something substantive and "real" to say--not some bitchmoaning screed---then he is free to make comment as well.

I will start things out by sharing how it "works" for me.

I have been saying this for sometime now----but for me----when it comes to the sexual aspects----I do want and have sex with both males and females-----but I have absolutely ZERO interest in having either a MFM, or FMF "three-way."

I either want to have sex with a guy or have sex with a lady----but not with both at the same time, I want to keep such activity totally separate. It sounds like a great and fun thing---but for some reason---I am leery to do so---I do think that doing so---kind of leads into some potentially darker aspects of the human mind and soul---just look at all those "true investigation shows" where some crazy murder takes place involving people in such trysts!!

As to "long term" relationships where I would be paired up with someone in a romantic/sexual relationship---it has been awhile since my last one with a female and it would be nice to do so again---but I am also open to doing the same thing with another guy and in either case----being monogamous with that person irrespective of their gender.

Hopefully if either such a relationship comes along, I would hope that it would go a long time and I may never have such a relationship in the future with another person, but if that were to happen--I would once again be open to being with either a lady or a guy and not be bound that I am either a heterosexual or gay since I do feel that in every way----I am a true and REAL bisexual.

This current "modus operandi" in regards to my bisexuality, for me is where I am at now with this. Some parts of it, have been around since I began this and others have evolved over time and that is not to say it is now written in stone and won't change or modify in the future-----but for now---it "works" for me.

Ok---everyone else's turn to share---go for it ya'all!!

pole_smoker

Dec 4, 2014, 12:01 PM

Who is the resident troll? Bibedbud.

Why do you think that someone having group sex or a 3 way would lead to "Darker aspects of the human mind and soul, and murder"?

I either want to have sex with a guy or have sex with a lady----but not with both at the same time, I want to keep such activity totally separate. It sounds like a great and fun thing---but for some reason---I am leery to do so---I do think that doing so---kind of leads into some potentially darker aspects of the human mind and soul---just look at all those "true investigation shows" where some crazy murder takes place involving people in such trysts!!

Do you actually even want a long term relationship? Based on your profile it sounds as though you don't, and you would prefer to just stay single.

Our resident troll bibedbud likes to practice biphobia and claim I'm not really bisexual since I'm with a man; but that's not true. My partner and I are bisexual but we just happen to be two men, and not a male/female couple. There are more same gender couples like us than people-including other bisexuals-think.

Melody Dean

Dec 4, 2014, 12:06 PM

I see a lot of comments where a MMF or FFM relationship seems to be the end goal for a lot of bisexuals, or perhaps that's a stereotype. I agree with you, I'd prefer to keep my relationships with men and women separate. While I have an open marriage, I'm not looking for that cohabitative poly lifestyle.

I'm not exactly monogamous. I will be with my husband forever and love him with all my heart, but I know one person can't fulfill all my needs. I'd be happy with my husband and a female lover, and maybe even a male lover too depending on the circumstances, but I don't want any of them at the same time.

That being said, sure, trying a MMF would be fun for a one time or occasional thing, but I'd prefer the majority of my sex to be one on one. I like women too, and I'd be up for trying a MFF just to see what it's like, but it's not something I'm all that interested in.

Melody Dean

Dec 4, 2014, 12:08 PM

Why do you think that someone having group sex or a 3 way would lead to "Darker aspects of the human mind and soul, and murder"?

I think some people can't handle relationships with multiple partners due to jealousy issues.

12voltyV2.0

Dec 4, 2014, 12:21 PM

I think some people can't handle relationships with multiple partners due to jealousy issues.

Exactly my point, Melody----despite what some people say about that they can handle someone else being intimate with someone they are intimate and "love"----the reality so often is that they really are not so good with it---especially if it happens that no matter which way it falls---the original couple breaks up thanks to having gotten in such a relationship and then a new couple is formed---leaving out the third party----and that can lead to all kinds of things.

As I said---things of this sort----have been fodder for great drama stories since at least the time of Shakespeare and up to today-----with such things making up most of the story lines for shows like "48 Hours: Murder Mystery" "Dateline NBC" and all those shows on cable channels like Investigation Discovery and Crime and Investigation.

I like to either read stories in books with lots of drama and watch shows about it---but I try my damnedest to minimize it in my own life.;)

Melody Dean

Dec 4, 2014, 12:24 PM

Exactly my point, Melody----despite what some people say about that they can handle someone else being intimate with someone they are intimate and "love"----the reality so often is that they really are not so good with it---especially if it happens that no matter which way it falls---the original couple breaks up thanks to having gotten in such a relationship and then a new couple is formed---leaving out the third party----and that can lead to all kinds of things.

As I said---things of this sort----have been fodder for great drama stories since at least the time of Shakespeare and up to today-----with such things making up most of the story lines for shows like "48 Hours: Murder Mystery" "Dateline NBC" and all those shows on cable channels like Investigation Discovery and Crime and Investigation.

There's also a lot of people that try to use opening up their marriage as a fix to a bad relationship. Huge NO NO, I don't think that's ever worked. I think if communication is strong and both people are the type that can handle their partner having another partner, it can strengthen a relationship, but it's certainly not for everyone. Since opening up my marriage (which was something we talked about before getting married), I've noticed there have been issues that I didn't anticipate. If we didn't have good communication, that could be a problem.

67torinouy

Dec 4, 2014, 12:32 PM

single closet bi male bottom here. still love women though

12voltyV2.0

Dec 4, 2014, 12:47 PM

As a single guy---I have been approached by a fair number of other guys who want me to come do a three-way with he and his wife---but I always defer from doing so---for the reasons we have both said----I just don't feel good about doing so.

I know that a lot of people who "swing" as couples---do so to "add spice" and "rejuvenate" their marriages and for some that does seem to work----but then again----I am willing to bet that if you could get real, hard core stats on how that works out-----the vast majority of such marriages do not last unless the couple gets down to some serious repair work either on their own or thanks to counseling----with them mostly having to work on the lack of communication that had developed or maybe never did exist in their relationship.

When it comes to handling multiple, intimate sorts of relationships, I found pretty early on that it was all I can do to deal with one such relationship at a time. I learned that from the early days of dating, when at one point---I somehow---juggled like four pretty serious "things" at one time---with three of those relationships being pretty intense and the last one being more of just a passing fling. Fortunately though---at least two of those ladies I was in the "intense" things with--also had similar things going on the side too---so that took some of the pressure away.

I got through that whole thing--with none of those relationships going anywhere and that was fine----looking back on it----that time spent being in such a situation was a necessary thing for me to go through---it was a great "Life Classroom" lesson because I found that I was not good at handling more than one serious relationship at one time.

Later in life--I had some friends who did the "polyamory" thing----they said it was fun, great and what have you--but you know what? None of that lasted for any of them---all of those people at some point---either settled down with one person or went on to do serial relationships and often remained single--at least up to the time that I lost track of them.

I knew that this was not something for me.

I am not being critical of those who do engage in things like polyamory, do many true bisexual three-ways with both male and female partners, have "an open marriage/relationship" situation----that is great if you can make it work.

One thing is for sure, as you said Melody-----you really do need to have some great and true communication going on to make it work, I do think.

Not that I cannot have good communication going on with someone I am in a relationship with--its just that I don't feel I have the mental energy necessary to do such things…..at least not anymore!!

I could say to that: "I guess I am getting old" but I really like to think that I have finally learned to accept and know myself and am "comfortable in my skin," something that I do think comes with age and hopefully some small measure of "wisdom."

The only "three-ways" that I do want--one version comes on a plate and is served a number of eating places that serve "Cincinnati-style Chili" and I would like to do a three way with some other guys----since I do admit----we men-- when it comes to "just sex"--- good or bad--it is pretty damn easy for us to do that and if the three way is with a group of guys who just have gotten together just for "playing"----all the couple relationship dynamics is not in play. It is "just sex."

I do admit---being a guy---I can be a "dog" that way myself!! :bounce:

JackTexas94

Dec 5, 2014, 6:27 AM

sysper

Dec 5, 2014, 8:51 AM

For me a log term relationship aspect follows this formula: romance+emotional intimacy+sex= women. Sex+ a kind of intimacy I have yet to fully figure out yet= men. The two are like comparing apples and oranges to me. Puzzling.i have no experiance with guys but i imagine this describes me pretty good. still trying to figure it out too.:confused:

Neonaught

Dec 5, 2014, 9:43 AM

I have never really had any issue with my sexuality since discovering I enjoyed both sexes at age 16. There were times and places (such the military) where I knew it was best to not express those desires. As for current practices, I enjoy solo encounters with men and we enjoy bi threesomes with both sexes and there has never been any jealousy issues. I suppose part of the reason for that is that we have been together 28 years but didn't start expanding our sexual horizons as a couple until recently. There is no substitute for a stable relationship when you start introducing others into the mix. I would have a hard time choosing whether I enjoy a couples encounter better than one on one. I recently met a wonderful couple here the wife wanted to see her husband with a man and it was one of the most enjoyable experiences I have had. I guess I just go with the flow and choose not to analyze things too deeply unless I am trying to solve a problem.

wanderlustwings

Dec 5, 2014, 11:13 AM

I wish my boyfriend would let me see him, but he has so much shame and secrecy around sex.... I would love to watch! What can I do to earn his trust and show him I am OK with it? and I am bi as well, so it really turns me on. We are in counseling and he is working on being more honest with me. I am not angry that he has a male lover but I am angry at the secrecy. So far I have been honest with him and I told him right away that I was Bi. I told him that I will be patient and wait for him to come around and be more willing to be open about his desires ; As long as he continues to try to work on himself and go to counseling with me I will wait. I really respect your posts and appreciate you sharing.

JUSTLUVIN

Dec 5, 2014, 11:45 AM

tenni

Dec 5, 2014, 1:09 PM

I seem to be more the one on one type of guy regardless of the other person's gender. I'm fine with being a third but not at the same time. I don't mind the other guy in a relationship with a woman. I am less inclined with being a third with a guy in a relationship with a guy. In fact that seems to be my strongest not interested scene. It would be the same with a woman. I would be fine if she was in another relationship with a woman but unsure about another guy. It is as if you have the same bits as me..that's different...

BiBedBud

Dec 5, 2014, 4:47 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5iDKWV6Chg

I LOVE THIS VIDEO! Watch out for numerous cameos, especially Boy George never looking better @ 1:30 and Sophia Loren, most frequent "Sexiest Woman" of all time at 2:16!

The final kiss in the video is def gender-bending, capping an altogether LGBT-Friendly music video of 1983 vintage!

stonebow

Dec 7, 2014, 9:04 AM

"I would like to do a three way with some other guys----since I do admit----we men-- when it comes to "just sex"--- good or bad--it is pretty damn easy for us to do that and if the three way is with a group of guys who just have gotten together just for "playing"----all the couple relationship dynamics is not in play. It is "just sex."

Volty, why is it that you can conceive of having "just sex" with two or more men but when there's a woman in the mix it suddenly becomes about intimacy and jealousy rears its head? Sex and love CAN go together....and a lot of other emotions can crowd in there too, jealousy among them. But sex and love are two entirely different things and I feel it's a sign of maturity to recognize that. I love many people I would never dream of having sex with...and likewise I have had sex with many people I didn't love.....like, respect, admire....sure, but I didn't "fall in love" or start feeling possessive of them just because we had good chemistry enough to have a little naked fun. All the drama you see as stemming from three-ways is, in my opinion, just a product of having watched too much TV.

darkeyes

Dec 7, 2014, 7:36 PM

As u kno, Voltie, me bisexuality passed me by long time ago, but 1ce it worked just dandy.. guys, girls.. I had a ball. Once things change, as did my sexuality, it is not only the lesbianism, but the bisexuality of others which works for me. I may be gay, but I dont deny, nev have and nev shall deny, bisexuals being wot they r... that some fancy me, and in partic the luffly Kate, is summat for wich I am eternally grateful... life us just grand, Voltie

Prob not the ansa u wer looking for but it is best I can do...:love87:

innaminka

Dec 7, 2014, 9:56 PM

As u kno, Voltie, me bisexuality passed me by long time ago, but 1ce it worked just dandy..

Like Dark, I no longer have any (sexual/romantic) contact with males. Like Dark, I followed my lesbian path and am now happily partnered, putting on weight, and contentedly heading towards menopause. ... I'm definitely Mrs Average Suburban.

But I was actively bisexual for maybe 15 years. I became aware soon after I had my two fantastic daughters. After a while I came out to my husband, whom I dearly loved - he basically struggled with it for the rest of our 22 yr marriage. It was the unspoken elephant in the room.
Like the original poster, I had/have no urge for anything multiple. I have never had a real 3'some in my life. Bisexuality did not require that. I simply wanted/loved/needed to have sex with both men and women.
This was achieved by my regular overseas business trips, and the fact that my husband spent on average 5 to 6 months in West Oz as a mining engineer, though I never brought it home.
So I played. I certainly wasn't promiscuous, but neither was I celibate. My husband and I worked on a DADT policy. - he didn't ask, I didn't tell.
It worked for us until other things that normal marriages have, started to get the better of us and we realised things had finished. We separated and divorced amicably.

That's how my bisex worked.

innaminka

Dec 7, 2014, 9:59 PM

I certainly wasn't promiscuous,

Okay .... maybe i was a little bit promiscuous ...... :love87:

BiBedBud

Dec 8, 2014, 2:52 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRcVACHAwcE

"Under Pressure" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Under_Pressure)

Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you, no man ask for
Under pressure that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming, "Let me out!"
Tomorrow gets me higher
Pressure on people - people on streets

Chippin' around, kick my brains 'round the floor
These are the days - it never rains but it pours
People on streets - people on streets

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming, "Let me out!"
Tomorrow gets me higher, higher, higher...
Pressure on people - people on streets

Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn
Why, why, why?

Love

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love that one more chance?
Why can't we give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love?..

'Cause love's such an old-fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure

Lyrics (http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/queen/underpressure.html)

R.I.P. Freddie! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freddie_Mercury) I miss you sooooo much!

JaredT77

Dec 8, 2014, 9:55 AM

I think for the first time in my life, I FEEL FREE!!! I am in a relationship with a straight country woman from Kentucky and we have lived together for a full year before she had to move back home because we were struggling with some financial issues. We were struggling finding jobs, I had a rough divorce last year as well as a military Honorable Discharge (involuntary separation), and the bills were stacking up so we had to leave our apartment and move in with our family temporary until we can get back on our feet.

She knows that I am bisexual and is supporting me on my bisexual needs and desires to see other men. She has been fully encouraging me and wants me to be happy. So far it's been a month and I haven't found the right guy or a job yet (with this fucked up economy and fucked up governor) but hopefully soon I will find both. With finding the right guy, I guess I am really picky since I am a bottom and considered to be passive, but doesn't mean that I will throw my ass up in the air for any guy to fuck me.

Oh well, in time I will find both and then I will save up enough money and move up to Kentucky to be with my girlfriend. Maybe afterwards, we might try a bisexual mmf threesome and/or she will fuck me with the strapon and some dildos. Her and I just have that trust and love in our relationship. We even have that double standard that if she wants to have sex with a guy then she can meet a guy. I really doubt that she would because I know that she loves me too much, but if she does then I trust her.

Lastly, I really don't give a fuck if people out there do not believe in a open relationship. That's their problem, not mine. Please don't judge myself or my girlfriend because you don't know either one of us. We are both happy in our relationship especially during our current predicament.

FullSpectrum

Dec 8, 2014, 4:59 PM

Way to go, Jared! I wish you all the best on your job hunt and a speedy return to your honey, as well as finding the right guy for you two to share.

JaredT77

Dec 8, 2014, 5:44 PM

Way to go, Jared! I wish you all the best on your job hunt and a speedy return to your honey, as well as finding the right guy for you two to share.

Thank you FullSpectrum! Actually she's trusting me to be alone with another guy and the guy fucking me. Or if I meet a male couple interested in both fucking me then she's ok with that too.

jefferybimm

Dec 8, 2014, 9:27 PM

I have been married, to females, three times and still enjoy it but also really enjoy playing with other guys when I can. I travel quite a bit on business and try to meet others when I travel. I have had some success both on Silverdaddies and on Craigslist. Tonight I am sitting in Dallas and have a couple of guys interested who might be over later. Really looking forward to playing.

Gearbox

Dec 9, 2014, 6:51 PM

Watch out for numerous cameos, especially Boy George never looking better @ 1:30
No sire, that is not Boy George, but his arch rival Marilyn there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMw_iosf5QI
Rumour had it that Marilyn was a tad on the gay side like Boy George. But I expect that was just viscious gossip.:rolleyes:

BiBedBud

Dec 9, 2014, 8:28 PM

^^^^^^^
Wow Gearbox, I had no idea!

I thought I was "up" on Brit-Pop of the era, but have to admit being ignorant of Marilyn.
Anyways, going by that one song you've linked, I'd have to say Boy George is the bigger talent.

Gearbox

Dec 10, 2014, 2:23 PM

Well you got that right BibedBud my lovely: Boy George was & is the bigger talent. God knows why Marilyn's song was so popular at the time, coz he's got a really bad vocal ability. But we don't give much of a crap for that at times over here. Hence the Cheeky Girls etc.lol

darkeyes

Dec 11, 2014, 3:33 AM

Well you got that right BibedBud my lovely: Boy George was & is the bigger talent.
.... but for all that a very minor talent, me lickle Welsh luffly.. tho me big sister has often taken issue wiv me on that... but wot dus she kno? Ne1 who likes Blur has serious psychological problems...:tongue:.

Gearbox

Dec 11, 2014, 6:59 AM

.... but for all that a very minor talent, me lickle Welsh luffly.. tho me big sister has often taken issue wiv me on that... but wot dus she kno? Ne1 who likes Blur has serious psychological problems...:tongue:.
I have a sneaky suspicion that I'm fast getting to be (or more like already am) and old fart.:eek2: I remember liking Marilyn's song, and Blur's Girls And Boys back in the day, but now when I listen to them, they sound fekin awful!lol

darkeyes

Dec 11, 2014, 7:51 AM

I have a sneaky suspicion that I'm fast getting to be (or more like already am) and old fart.:eek2: I remember liking Marilyn's song, and Blur's Girls And Boys back in the day, but now when I listen to them, they sound fekin awful!lol
Me daughter called me otha day summat I have called me own mum since I wos 'bout the same age... in mid paddie she called me "old bag":yikes2:!! Well ya cudda knocked me down wiv a feather.... u ole fart an me ole bag.. life dus pass us by hey? But look on the bright side.... ya dont have psychological probs ne more:tongue:.. and I nev did....;)

Gearbox

Dec 11, 2014, 12:16 PM

Me daughter called me otha day summat I have called me own mum since I wos 'bout the same age... in mid paddie she called me "old bag":yikes2:!! Well ya cudda knocked me down wiv a feather.... u ole fart an me ole bag.. life dus pass us by hey? But look on the bright side.... ya dont have psychological probs ne more:tongue:.. and I nev did....;)
My little angel banned me from dancing in front of her friends since she was 5yo. Some times they don't have to call you names, to let you know what they think of you.lol
Well IMO you know you're doing a good job when you are an embarrassment to your kids. That's what I tell myself anyway.:rolleyes:

cuttin2dachase

Dec 11, 2014, 6:30 PM

I am a very closeted bisexual swinger by choice. I love having a secret side which is only shared with those men, women and couples I am fortunate enough to meet for fun sex. Been there and done the marriage ltr thing twice now and never again want my sexual desires constrained in that way. 'My' bisexuality works to excite me and provide delicious anticipation of my new sexual encounters. This secret, taboo, erotic world of pleasure is out there for anyone who is patient, selective and brave enough to seek it out. If I ever reach the point where I don't feel absolutely lustful and naughty when playing with other men and couples, I'll hang up my bi swinger spurs and maybe settle for monogamous, hetero vanilla sex again. I suppose the next worse thing to that would be total celibacy LOL

12voltyV2.0

Dec 13, 2014, 12:12 PM

I think as a lot of folks here do that sometimes 3 way relationships or experiences are something we look to as a hopeful opportunity. 12volty may not agree but that's okay, we are all different. However for me, I see my bisexuality as part of a curiousity and also a need to be intimate with others possibly same sex or not.

I wish society were different though regarding sex and sexuality. We have placed so many rules on ourselves that we try to follow, yet I am not sure we truly believe.

When I said what I did--I was speaking STRICTLY for MYSELF----just that doing this has no appeal for ME for the reasons I stated---but if it works for others----GREAT!!!

The title of the thread asks how bisexuality gets played out in each of our lives---I was merely stating what I felt about this subject--at least at this point in time--I was not trying to say that others should feel, act or do what I say---I was just trying to lay out my feelings on the matter and also trying to get others to share how they define bisexuality for themselves and how it plays out in their lives or at least they would like it to do so at some point.

JUSTLUVIN

Dec 14, 2014, 1:59 PM

When I said what I did--I was speaking STRICTLY for MYSELF----just that doing this has no appeal for ME for the reasons I stated---but if it works for others----GREAT!!!

The title of the thread asks how bisexuality gets played out in each of our lives---I was merely stating what I felt about this subject--at least at this point in time--I was not trying to say that others should feel, act or do what I say---I was just trying to lay out my feelings on the matter and also trying to get others to share how they define bisexuality for themselves and how it plays out in their lives or at least they would like it to do so at some point.
I understand 12Volty, I was just adding to the conversation. So good to hear everyone's views on how it affects their lives.

Long Duck Dong

Dec 14, 2014, 11:18 PM

this kinda a hard question to be honest....... because I do not really see people in terms of male and female, I tend to see people more in terms of possibilities and experiences.....

its part of why I tend to see myself as more omnisexual than bisexual as I will see a person rather than a gender and I do not feel a need for cock and pussy, I feel a attraction to a person and what ever will be, will be......I actually perfer a mental and emotional interaction that can enhance a sexual one, rather than a sexual interaction for my mental and emotional state of mind.....

I function best in a 3 person situation that is long term because I am fluid and ever changing and what may appeal to me in the morning, may not interest me in the afternoon.....and the better option is a f/m/f situation rather than a m/f/m or m/m/m situation, simply because I tend to find that the ego and testorone driven males tend to rub me up the wrong way a lot.....

sex for me, is mostly a physical act without emotions and thought so a long term multiple person situation is more about the social interaction every day rather than the sexual aspects, and I perfer seeing sex as a art form and experiment rather than omg I am sucking a cock or eating a pussy.... I like sex to be a different experience each day..... IE today I could deep throat a cock and tomorrow I may hold it in my mouth and just use my tongue and hum...... its all about the experimenting rather than the act itself

casual sex is not really my thing as I perfer long term * experiments * lol... kinda like there is 365 days in the year so I am curious how many times making love is possible a day, how many possible times my partner can come in one day, how many different ways can I help them come in one day, etc....

darkeyes

Dec 15, 2014, 6:15 AM

I function best in a 3 person situation that is long term because I am fluid and ever changing and what may appeal to me in the morning, may not interest me in the afternoon.....and the better option is a f/m/f situation rather than a m/f/m or m/m/m situation, simply because I tend to find that the ego and testorone driven males tend to rub me up the wrong way a lot.....

The entire post had me giggling out loud wen I read it.. have had 2 use self control an' snigger 2 mesel'... is ok... am ver gud at that....but nowt had me giggling quite like the above... ver typically male... u an' 2 girls, hey? Well.... Seems 2 me, Duckie, that u fit in ver well wiv those ego an' testosterone driven males of wich u speak and slag off is wot I glean from those words... most of them, str8 or bi wud invariably prefer 2 (or more) gels than ne oth combination for ther nookie... most of them 2 try and intellectualise wy... they 2 fall flat on ther faces an' give me a gud laff... but not usyally quite as much as u have given me this mornin'..;)

.. if its ne comfort 2 ya, I 2 wud prefer 2 gels or more or less.... but in my case no otha combination gets a look in...:impleased

Realist

Dec 15, 2014, 1:50 PM

I hate it when I agree with anything Fran says, but, she's right...few virile men can keep two women sated, on a daily basis!

As a young 23 year old airman, I began dating an older bisexual lady (39) who lived with a younger girl. At some point, we all became intimate. BUT, if the two women hadn't been lovers, I probably would have died of heart failure long before I was 24!

The older one was definitely in the prime of her life and could have easily provided all of the intimacy I could withstand! I was also in my prime and as sexually capable as I would ever be. I was slim, active, ran and boxed, ate the right things and drank very little.

I spent every spare minute with them for two years and could not have chosen a better couple to be with. However, by the time I was 25, I felt I was aging rapidly and found myself making excuses for being too tired and drained! At the same time, I had male acquaintances, with whom I could have shared sex, there was no energy left for them!

I loved both women; they were magnificent in almost every way....not jealous, attentive, shared many of the same interests; really, a dream relationship. But, I've wondered how long I could have maintained that pace?

Luckily, I met the girl, who would become my 1st wife and we all agreed that it was time for me to move on. I did so, with their blessing.

Trust me, it would be much more realistic for two men to have one female lover, than the way I did it!

Regarding bisexual arrangements:

Prior to my adventures with the two ladies, I had two attempts at poly relationships. One failed, for reasons that both Volty and Melody surmised; We didn't come to an agreement beforehand, nor did we set any parameters. We just jumped in! The husband, who initiated the original merger, was the first to become jealous, thus after about 60 days, it was over.

The 2nd attempt turned out of be one of the best relationships of my entire life! We were ideally matched in temperament, interests and desires. I've often wondered, if circumstances hadn't intervened, if we might still be together? We ended up with 13 months of the best that this sort of a poly connection could provide!

Although, I've had a few other relationships that were both successful and not, I learned my capabilities and limits. (Clint East wood says: "One must realize his limitations!)

I presently am in a relationship with a magnificent lady, who I met right here a little over 6 years ago, and a younger male. We do not live together, nor do we share. But, we are all in agreement and there are no secrets, or jealousy issues. This has turned out to be the best, yet.

Each of us have emotional and sensual goals and I doubt if we're ever totally satisfied, but I'm certainly as close as I've ever been, right now!

wildnorthman

Dec 15, 2014, 9:47 PM

My sexuality was something I learned about after years of searching. I always tried to please others growing up. Get married they said. Have kids they said. So I did and it all blew up in my face. I was living a lie, kidding myself about what life is. Am I gay? Am I straight? What the hell am I? How do I find out things I evidently don't know? I went to a therapist who gently advised me to find some books on the subject of sexuality, so I did. But I had to drive 160 miles to find a bookstore that had the items I needed, and more importantly, doing without someone I knew seeing me do it. In my small town, very conservative and judgmental, asking such questions made you an outsider. Also I had a cousin that worked at the library and I could see her telling my folks, my other relatives, hell, anyone, about my book choices. So I had to buy some books, do some reading, think hard about what I wanted. Little by little, reading, chatting, learning, I realized my niche in life was definitely bisexual. I just felt so good about finding some info on one of the most important things in my life. I could never divulge this to anyone at work, because in a small town paper mill, you would be labeled and harshly. You would get the bad shifts at work, be scrutinized severely and well you can guess the rest. The things done to your car, your locker, to you in the shower, the hateful words, the looks and I hate drama, but I love me. Once I realized who I am, what I am, I married another woman who I completely was honest with and she was cool with it. When we are together, it is great. When I get the urge to be with a man, I proceed with care. I have spent enough of my life seeing people hurt other people over just being who they are. I just want to love and enjoy and learn and grow and let all the stupid bigotry wash past me. Being Bi is great as Woody Allen once said. Love to you all!

12voltyV2.0

Dec 15, 2014, 10:10 PM

i am glad that there is some good discussion going on here----it looks like till the chat room comes back again---heaven only knows when that might be---we will have to rely on the forum board as our way of communicating on here.

Long Duck Dong

Dec 15, 2014, 11:18 PM

The entire post had me giggling out loud wen I read it.. have had 2 use self control an' snigger 2 mesel'... is ok... am ver gud at that....but nowt had me giggling quite like the above... ver typically male... u an' 2 girls, hey? Well.... Seems 2 me, Duckie, that u fit in ver well wiv those ego an' testosterone driven males of wich u speak and slag off is wot I glean from those words... most of them, str8 or bi wud invariably prefer 2 (or more) gels than ne oth combination for ther nookie... most of them 2 try and intellectualise wy... they 2 fall flat on ther faces an' give me a gud laff... but not usyally quite as much as u have given me this mornin'..;)

.. if its ne comfort 2 ya, I 2 wud prefer 2 gels or more or less.... but in my case no otha combination gets a look in...:impleased

lol not sure where your mind is but I was not thinking of being the owner of a harem lol

by two females, I was thinking as a sexual or non sexual situation.... kinda like as I have said to DD a few times, I would have loved to live in a house with her and my sister ( if my sister had not passed away )....and something that would have been very special to me, would have been things like being able to stand in the kitchen in the morning and give them both a hug and tell them how special they are... DD would be my sexual partner, skye would have been the non sexual person tho she could be sexual with anything else.....but they would both be special to me as people in my life and more than just bed warmers / sex partners, and besides they have the right of choice with whom they do or do not have sex with.... so equal voice and choice would be a big part of the situation

by the ego and testorone part, I was refering to the thinking of some males that view things in terms of their rights to sex come first and that is what the other people are there for..... I have dealt with people that have seen me as their sex toy and tried to push that on me, with a outcome that was not in their favour..... but I am open minded and open to situations where there is a dom person and I am the sub person as it can be quite enjoyable to be a sub but I mean that from the point of view of a partner that has me wanting to surrender to them, rather than a person that wants me to surrender to them so they can collar me, hit me etc etc.....

I perfer a more balanced lifestyle where there is ebb and flow in relationships and the idea that I would be the *MAN * and the females are my * bitches * is something that goes against my nature and beliefs, which are " I can stand beside a woman but not equal to her "... and thats basically saying that there are differences between the male and female that allow us to compliment and enhance us as a person but the differences also mean that we have our own unique qualities that stand out......

thats why I was putting the emphasis on the emotional and mental aspects are more important to me than the sexual and that its a long term situation ( I would rather have a long term non sexual situation than multiple short term / casual sex with multiple partner situations because there is less chance of a emotional and mental connect with casual sex / hook ups )

a long term situation with serrin and one of my best male friends, is possible because the guy is a easy going guy and also tends to see people as people and perfers long term situations where sex is not the main reason for the situation....... the fact that he is also gay does not really come into it for me, because thats his personal space and thinking ..... he has had sex with GFs in the past and been married, he just chooses to ID as gay because he is not interested in or looking for female companionship or a female partner but that may change in the future ( his own words )......

so yeah there is a difference between the way that people are seeing what I am saying and how I actually live.... I am focusing more on the love, emotion and interaction between people while others are seeing it more as a sexual situation where the male is the kingpin...... the reality is I would rather be in the middle as the fluid ( dom/sub ) with people that are also dom/sub in nature, rather than a fixed I am dom or sub and the others are dom or sub.....

I think you understand that part, fran..... there are times that kate takes control and other times that you take control and it balances out for the most part.....

Jorja

Dec 16, 2014, 12:56 PM

I am a single female and do not label myself bisexual.I am just a sexual being. Is there a name for that?? LOL Although I do enjoy sex with woman and men, I prefer men hands down. The preference I have for woman unfortunately is a 'stranger' one. Meaning, I will be with a woman if and when I go to a swingers club or some other form of sexual pleasure in groups. I have tried a mmf with a friend and like volty said, it can change people!!! The threesome was my friends idea, her and her boyfriend had never done it nor had she had sex with a woman. I said, sure, get out the tequila and lets do it!! Then came the rules...I couldnt kiss or fuck her boyfriend. Oral only, same as him for me. So....I walked away pretty unsatisfied. A threesome should not be something done to save a marriage, talking about it and your wants and needs will do that. Being honest and having open communication are key. I tell my guys upfront what my wants and needs are, I do not seek out or date woman for obvious reasons lol oh the drama...being bisexual seems to be more awkward for men to come clean about, I feel that they should be honest with who they are right from the beginning and damn anyone that doesnt understand, so many of my married guy friends complain after they wed that the sex sucks, well, didn't it suck before you married her? If not, then she is bullshitting you and if so, why the hell did you marry her only to complain and/or cheat?? :P

csreef

Dec 16, 2014, 4:13 PM

How does your Bisexuality "work" in your life?... Well, after I had become comfortable with having sex with men, I became comfortable with me being Bisexual, and my LIFE BALANCED OUT! It was as if you took a great weight off of my shoulders, I became more relaxed, and more creative in so many ways. I also accepted myself FOR WHO I AM! No more self doubts about my sexuality, No Regrets ...Lots more confidence! :bibounce:

sysper

Dec 16, 2014, 6:10 PM

Lisa (va)

Dec 19, 2014, 10:17 AM

Been pondering this since you posted it Volty (hugs). Nice to know I am not the only one who prefers romantic/sexual encounters on a one to one basis. My personal opinion is most threesomes are much better in fantasy than reality (ya'll can slam me later). As far as how my being bi works in my life: I never really thought the fact I am bi was/is a great factor in determining who I am and how I interact with others.
Best that works for me is loving my partner, be it male or female.

Lisa
hugs n kisses

darkeyes

Dec 19, 2014, 6:31 PM

lol not sure where your mind is but I was not thinking of being the owner of a harem lol

by two females, I was thinking as a sexual or non sexual situation.... kinda like as I have said to DD a few times, I would have loved to live in a house with her and my sister ( if my sister had not passed away )....and something that would have been very special to me, would have been things like being able to stand in the kitchen in the morning and give them both a hug and tell them how special they are... DD would be my sexual partner, skye would have been the non sexual person tho she could be sexual with anything else.....but they would both be special to me as people in my life and more than just bed warmers / sex partners, and besides they have the right of choice with whom they do or do not have sex with.... so equal voice and choice would be a big part of the situation

by the ego and testorone part, I was refering to the thinking of some males that view things in terms of their rights to sex come first and that is what the other people are there for..... I have dealt with people that have seen me as their sex toy and tried to push that on me, with a outcome that was not in their favour..... but I am open minded and open to situations where there is a dom person and I am the sub person as it can be quite enjoyable to be a sub but I mean that from the point of view of a partner that has me wanting to surrender to them, rather than a person that wants me to surrender to them so they can collar me, hit me etc etc.....

I perfer a more balanced lifestyle where there is ebb and flow in relationships and the idea that I would be the *MAN * and the females are my * bitches * is something that goes against my nature and beliefs, which are " I can stand beside a woman but not equal to her "... and thats basically saying that there are differences between the male and female that allow us to compliment and enhance us as a person but the differences also mean that we have our own unique qualities that stand out......

thats why I was putting the emphasis on the emotional and mental aspects are more important to me than the sexual and that its a long term situation ( I would rather have a long term non sexual situation than multiple short term / casual sex with multiple partner situations because there is less chance of a emotional and mental connect with casual sex / hook ups )

a long term situation with serrin and one of my best male friends, is possible because the guy is a easy going guy and also tends to see people as people and perfers long term situations where sex is not the main reason for the situation....... the fact that he is also gay does not really come into it for me, because thats his personal space and thinking ..... he has had sex with GFs in the past and been married, he just chooses to ID as gay because he is not interested in or looking for female companionship or a female partner but that may change in the future ( his own words )......

so yeah there is a difference between the way that people are seeing what I am saying and how I actually live.... I am focusing more on the love, emotion and interaction between people while others are seeing it more as a sexual situation where the male is the kingpin...... the reality is I would rather be in the middle as the fluid ( dom/sub ) with people that are also dom/sub in nature, rather than a fixed I am dom or sub and the others are dom or sub.....

I think you understand that part, fran..... there are times that kate takes control and other times that you take control and it balances out for the most part.....In a way, Duckie, I was being playful... but I have me own view of what u said and it fits into the mould of the sexuality of str8 and bi man.. that isn't meant as a slight at all, but a recognition, or at least a view, that u are much more typical of ur gender than u have ever admitted..and there is nothing wrong with that at all. Ur first post kinda gives u away..

... do Kate and I alternate control? Hmmm.. now that us summat 2 think about... sexually, who is in control, the domme or the sub? And sexually that is our relationship... Most wud say the former but is that really true? And if it is not who really is domme and who sub?

..in life? We discuss things far 2 much and too deeply and come to decisions to consider them in terms of control... there is no struggle for control... there was possibly... tho there has never been either domme or sub in our everyday relationship.. but the opening up of our relationship has ended any struggle for control which may 1ce have existed... and besides, we have far too much love, liking and personal respect for each other.