Recent Forum Activity

[Susurrus1964]

Alright...

I don't frequent this site often, and lately I've noticed two things, particularly on the forum:

1. A shitload of threads from one member, all in a relatively similar vein

and

2. A bunch of threads from other members, mainly complaining about this one member


Comments have been made regarding the potential demise of this site and what might cause it.

Regarding people coming here for the first time:

I do agree that people who are looking for true information regarding bisexuality and what it entails might be put off by the prurient nature of PS's recent posts and subsequently assume that bisexuality might simply be a reason for promiscuity, just not only with one gender.

HOWEVER

Those same people could also be alarmed and put off by the vitriol that's being aimed at this one person. I'm not sure what that might say about bisexuality to a newbie, but it doesn't look good, regardless.

So Drew has apparently moved on to other projects, died or is otherwise incapacitated, and so his ability/interest in maintaining this site has dwindled down to little to none. One thing I've noticed since his evident departure is that we seem to have become a far more contentious lot in his absence. Was he the only one keeping this outfit in line?

C'mon. We're all adults here (and no, I'm not volunteering for the job of maintaining the peace, I'm just trying to point out observations and conclusions I've made in the last couple months - since the chat went down the last time) why are we acting like a bunch of junior high kids?

Pole_Smoker, please, please tone it down. I don't know you and I'm not sure why you've decided to be so prolific, and I don't care. I'm not really against most of the things you've posted - hell, I've responded to a couple - but the sheer volume is too much, and is greatly what's causing a lot of people to get upset, as you probably already know.

Everybody else: I know you're frustrated, but my opinion is that - especially for those of you who are concerned for what the site looks like for a first-timer - all the complaint posts aren't doing your argument any favors.

Just trying to be a relatively calm voice of reason...

[Realist]

Makes sense to me, I've said my last to, and about, that person.

[Melody Dean]

Pole_Smoker, please, please tone it down. I don't know you and I'm not sure why you've decided to be so prolific, and I don't care. I'm not really against most of the things you've posted - hell, I've responded to a couple - but the sheer volume is too much, and is greatly what's causing a lot of people to get upset, as you probably already know.

Everybody else: I know you're frustrated, but my opinion is that - especially for those of you who are concerned for what the site looks like for a first-timer - all the complaint posts aren't doing your argument any favors.

Just trying to be a relatively calm voice of reason...

Agreed!

In addition, the more people complain, the more PS posts. We're stuck in a vicious cycle. And it just looks petty.

[tenni]

I suspect that there are a variety of reactions to reading this site for the first time depending upon when you first saw it. I have read several different eras since 2006 when I first was here. There was an era of bisexuals posting questions and insecurities but that has long passed. There have been eras where non bisexual partners used this site to get clarification but more so support for their own fears and biphobic issues. That era has passed as well. Very few threads deal with the bigger picture issues of being bisexual in a heterosexual monosexual world.

There have been other eras where troll(s) has been similarly salaciously posting and people with questions and concerns did dwindle in posting during those periods. Now, today, I don't recall reading t posts about a newly awakening awareness of bisexuality for quite awhile.

I think that there may be other bisexual sites where a person who is coming to the realization may check out. I'm turned off by the excessive low intelligent sexual mechanic level postings now. If I were newly awakening about my bisexuality I doubt if the type of simplistic porn style threads would be comforting me that I am not a perverted sex crazed person like bisexual myths state. There are still some threads that are more socially questioning such as “conservatism and being bisexual”. No new threads on social issues or articles about being bisexual. ...just "have you ever" simplistic tallying surface style of questions. A few may be ok but the tilt has banished any socially significant contribution by this site. There are even fewer if you have blocked people who are creating polls etc on sexual mechanics. Any thread starting with "have you ever" tends not to raise issues about being bisexual in a monosexual world. If someone is looking for a porn site which is mostly referring to same sex male behaviour, then this is now your site to come and read. The threads with the longest commenting are not about bisexuality in a mainstream monosexual heterosexual life.

Does this site differ enough from a male porn gay site to be considered helpful to a nervous, confused, newly aware bisexual?

Are we dealing with trivial, non vanilla, perversion here or does the flooding of sexual mechanic threads represent a biphobic, intentional strategy to eliminate any positive contribution this site has had in the past to support bisexuals?

[BiBedBud]

Alright...

I don't frequent this site often, and lately I've noticed two things, particularly on the forum:

1. A shitload of threads from one member, all in a relatively similar vein

and

2. A bunch of threads from other members, mainly complaining about this one member


Comments have been made regarding the potential demise of this site and what might cause it.

Regarding people coming here for the first time:

I do agree that people who are looking for true information regarding bisexuality and what it entails might be put off by the prurient nature of PS's recent posts and subsequently assume that bisexuality might simply be a reason for promiscuity, just not only with one gender.

HOWEVER

Those same people could also be alarmed and put off by the vitriol that's being aimed at this one person. I'm not sure what that might say about bisexuality to a newbie, but it doesn't look good, regardless.

So Drew has apparently moved on to other projects, died or is otherwise incapacitated, and so his ability/interest in maintaining this site has dwindled down to little to none. One thing I've noticed since his evident departure is that we seem to have become a far more contentious lot in his absence. Was he the only one keeping this outfit in line?

C'mon. We're all adults here (and no, I'm not volunteering for the job of maintaining the peace, I'm just trying to point out observations and conclusions I've made in the last couple months - since the chat went down the last time) why are we acting like a bunch of junior high kids?

Pole_Smoker, please, please tone it down. I don't know you and I'm not sure why you've decided to be so prolific, and I don't care. I'm not really against most of the things you've posted - hell, I've responded to a couple - but the sheer volume is too much, and is greatly what's causing a lot of people to get upset, as you probably already know.

Everybody else: I know you're frustrated, but my opinion is that - especially for those of you who are concerned for what the site looks like for a first-timer - all the complaint posts aren't doing your argument any favors.

Just trying to be a relatively calm voice of reason...

Do you know how sexy you are while you're being the calm voice of reason?;)

From my POV; 1) as someone who has seen people get bounced out of bars and nightclubs when they've been similarly disruptive; 2) as someone who recognizes what is going on is literaly abuse akin to flashing, a sex crime in my RL community, I don't see any need to refrain from handling this specific individual roughly. I think a newbie visitor to the site would remember unruly school children getting kicked out of class and out of school. Anyone who has ever had a nightlife, has seen the same. Many episodes of the COPS TV show, are similar in scenario. We have security guards and police and courts and jails to handle this kind of thing in RL, but our problem here is that we've got nobody like that at bisexualdotcom.

LOOOKIT: I'm not trying to be the community vigilante or anything. Frankly, I'd rather he not top himself on account of that one last psychotic episode brought on by my harsh words. In RL I probably wouldn't put him in a burlap sack and drown him like the (sick!) puppies I've read about in American literature. (Refering to something I wrote in another post in another thread), If I were that bus driver, and he jumped out onto the roadway, I'll admit, I probably wouldn't swerve, but mostly because that'd be dangerous for my passengers. However, I want to be clear that I probably wouldn't lay him out with a 30-0-6 (like I would a moose).

However, just because I don't think you should unnecessarilly kill or injure someone; there is a time when it is correct to exert pain. You can exert pain, even extreme pain (if you've got the training), in ways that don't cause permanent injury, and won't risk sudden/accidental death. That's the kind of thing we need, in this current situation, IMHO.

You've asked if there are other people involved with managing the site. There seems to be two others, in addition to Drew, but neither of them seem to have visited or paid any attention to bisexualdotcom in a very, very long time. So, it would seem, they're out.

As for pleading with pole_smoker to stop: You do realize that makes him the powerful one, and that's what he gets off on. CONSIDER: There isn't a self defence class anywhere in the world, where pleading for an attacker to stop is even a question. Sometimes, you've just got to defend yourself, and your interests. It's not violent to defend yourself, it's only intelligent.

FOR THE RECORD: I have asked Drew for the power to keep this troll at bay. I have pledged that all I would do, moderator-wise, was to try to cool-off anyone posting too many threads/ at too high a rate. That is all I would do -- I think that's really all that's necessary. I don't know if he'll grant me that 'moderator' capability, but I do think I'd use it wisely. If you think you'd use it better than me, please write to Drew and ask him for some kind of 'moderator' power. I'm sure you'd do a good job too.

[Melody Dean]

BiBedBud, the thing is, I don't think you're causing him any pain. I think if anything, it's just feeding the fire. To expound on your analogy, if you get in a fight in a bar or nightclub, even if you didn't start it or you think you're doing the appropriate thing, you'll still get booted too.

While I don't want the responsibility of being a moderator, I do think that any mods should be level headed and fair.

[jem_is_bi]

pole smoker is executing a "denial of service attack". He does not care if anyone responds to any of his posts. His aim is to have only his posts in the main forum page.

[pole_smoker]

pole smoker is executing a "denial of service attack". He does not care if anyone responds to any of his posts. His aim is to have only his posts in the main forum page.
Actually, no I'm not. Do you even know what an actual DoS attack is? It's not what I'm doing. I simply make polls for other bisexual people.

[jem_is_bi]

Actually, no I'm not. Do you even know what an actual DoS attack is? It's not what I'm doing. I simply make polls for other bisexual people. Show me with your actions, rather than your denials.

[BiBedBud]

pole smoker is executing a "denial of service attack". He does not care if anyone responds to any of his posts. His aim is to have only his posts in the main forum page.

jem_is_bi, you're absolutely CORRECT, that is precisely what this pole_fucker is doing. For the peeps who don't precisely understand: An actual "Denial of Service Attack" is where a computer or network of "hijacked" computers all continuously bombard a web server with "requests for information". Essentially, trying to querry the server for content. In the process, the tremendous number of information requests, overloads the webserver, and no other actual legit requests from other users can get served.

This fucker's true joy, is that he's employing a computer engineering approach to social engineering. He's doing with written text, what a cyber-criminal does with malicious code. This is why nobody should feed this troll.

You're also right, that he's a fiend to clog the "Recent Threads" board on the main homepage.

Of course, at the same time, the modus operandii speaks volumes to his "mental processes" (such as they are). This guy is in such a sorry state, as evidenced by practically 75% of the things he types here; a bigger social misfit I have never encountered, anywhere in my life. For his own good, he's got to get away from his computer, and off in the real world, where perhaps he might form some kind of a relationship with a living person that might serve some of his (VAST!) needs.

Like, you've probably seen those "ink blot" tests that the psychiatrists put infront of people they have to assess, to determine if they're mentally unstable or not (I'm sure you've seen this in the movies). Anyways, those are called "Rorschot Inkblots" (spelling approximate), and the truth is, they're actually meaningless. The test is to see how the person interprets the inkblots, because this is a window into the person's mind.

Well, in this same fashion, the things we write about, these also provide a window on the mind writing them.

What I have seen of the insides of pole_smoker, makes me worry for him, to be honest. He needs help. He needs a lot of help. He needs sunshine, and real contact with actual people, and not computer screens of bisexualsdotcom. So, as a service to EVERYONE INVOLVED, I think he should be discouraged from coming here any more.

Understand: It's not enough to ban him, or to block his IP address. He gets around that in about ten minutes. He's got multiple accounts set up already, anyways.

If you don't relish the thought of spending umpteen hours, possibly conversing with someone who is actually one-and-the-same as pole_smoker -- you've got to make this an entirely unwelcoming place for him. He's got to go elsewhere, for his sake even more than for our sake. :2cents:

[pole_smoker]

bibedbud you're not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I'm in perfect physical and mental health, and you're just a troll. I haven't had much contact with you besides how you liked my poll about 9/11 asking if it's inside or not so you can spam your agenda about how you think it was inside.

I already have relationships with people. My partner is one of them. My family and friends are other people I have a relationship with. I also have a relationship with people who I work with.

Multiple people have written to me and said how they do like my polls.

[BiBedBud]

BiBedBud, the thing is, I don't think you're causing him any pain. ................................. REDACTED ...................................
While I don't want the responsibility of being a moderator, I do think that any mods should be level headed and fair.

Melody Dean,

Respectfully, I must disagree. Unless I'm entirely wrong (and I would bet otherwise), the most likely pathology behind the behaviours exhibited by pole_smoker would strongly suggest to me that he suffered a particular kind of repeat angst all throughout his childhood, when he was spoken of in the third person sense, while he was in the room, and nobody actually paid any genuine attention to him. They spoke about him as if he wasn't even in the room. They did this often. This really, really left a mark on him. As a result, he feels unheard everywhere else in his world (likely because he's shut in his room in his parent's house), and tries to salve his pain by seeking validation here.

He is desperate to portray himself as happy and well adjusted, even "sophisticated", all the while remaining bitterly judgemental and fundamentally, pathologically vulgar.

I assess that he is a self-loathing homosexual, who wishes to pass himself off as a bisexual, probably because this would somehow appease his parents. (Nothing he has written indicates that he is actually a bisexual.)

I think it does hurt him to be discussed this way, publically, and if we continue to "burst his bubble" in this way, and generally refrain from replying to or even viewing his BS, he might not receive enough validation in the process, and we might get to discussing things of actual, genuine interest to real-life bisexuals.

AS FOR MODERATION: Just hypothetically speaking, what would you do / would have done if you were a moderator here at bisexualdotcom?

Myself, I would have tried to cool-him-off first with a warning, then a temporary ban. Assuming there's no budget for more php coding and nobody wants to install a new mod on this board, I probably would have just 'tripped' his login credentials, essentially locking him out of his account. If subsequently, another account exhibited the same behaviour (whatever it's username or IP), I would assume it was the same pole_fucker, and I would skip the earlier warnings and go straight for the lockout, before he does too much board flooding. That is all I would undertake to do as a moderator, because otherwise, as I've read here, there is a market for the cum-dripping vulgarity and even some of our more prim and proper ladies do in actuality read some of these vulgar things (though they wouldn't like to admit it). So, I would leave all that as is, and just focus on keeping thread-flooding trolls at bay.

What would you do, Melody Dean?

[Melody Dean]

Respectfully, I must disagree. Unless I'm entirely wrong (and I would bet otherwise), the most likely pathology behind the behaviours exhibited by pole_smoker would strongly suggest to me that he suffered a particular kind of repeat angst all throughout his childhood...

AS FOR MODERATION: Just hypothetically speaking, what would you do / would have done if you were a moderator here at bisexualdotcom?

I also disagree. I think you're reading more into it as it is.

Sure, he posted a lot before, some of them meaningless polls, but at the time it added a bit of activity to the board when there was none. There was once where he started several threads that generated some interesting discussion, and I did actually PM him and thank him for it. Sure, others were vulgar, but hey, we're all adults here, and he's not the only vulgar one.

As I admitted to before, some of the threads were voyeuristic. I'm a little exhibitionistic, therefore, I replied. I'll admit, I like the attention.

And then people complained. There are plenty of times that when someone tells me not to do something, that make it the #1 thing I want to do. And, it gets you attention.

Even bad publicity is still publicity. And right now, Pole is the most talked about person on the forums. So, he's an attention whore. I've dealt with plenty of them, and I'm a bit of one myself. The worst things for me when I crave attention is to be bored and ignored, then I just move on to something else.

MODERATION: Like I said, I don't want to be a mod. I've been for other forums before. I don't like the responsibility, I don't like conflict, I don't like making those kinds of decisions, and I don't like the time and stress.

But if I got to choose a moderator, I'd prefer it to be someone who could look at the board and all members, not just react to one member or situation.

[tenni]

Melody & Bibed
Any moderation should adhere to standards of site behaviour. The site has four rules. What would you change in the rules to prevent site abuse or give rationale for banning a poster?

[mas8092]

How about a poll forum and pole_smoker can poll to his heart's desire? Analyzing all the poll data could be interesting. But since all of the Main Forum posts are just pole_smoker polls, it takes away from real questions and issues.

[Coastocoast]

I am not sure that the rules for banning need to be changed as much as the rules for posting. Limiting it to starting one thread per day and say 3 per month might be a good start and some other logical limit on replying to posts. We have all had ongoing replies within a single post but limiting replies to a single thread or 2 threads per hour might also work. Also Drew always maintained the rule that personal adds need to stay out of the forums which makes sense. Maybe limiting "Polling Treads" started by any individual in the forum to one a month would also be logical. There are many I disagree with on the site and am sure that many disagree with me. When it is not so overpowering we all understand that we are different and usually do not get into this type of situation. I have never seen in my time here a single individual manipulate the boards this badly, it needs to tone down before too many others leave the site and do not return.

[tenni]

Coastver
Being banned (cooling off) happens when the rules are violated. You and other have suggested limiting number of threads that a poster may do over a period(week, month etc.)
That may work but frequently these deviants find ways around the rule(s). Good point though.

[Coastocoast]

From a moderator's view and I am not one, there are no obvious violations of any rules that would warrant suspending an account. Other than a than the masses hitting ignore or a change of the rules to limit what is occurring nothing can or will be done. Something will need to change to get the site back to an informative place that people want to visit or it will die a natural death by withering on the vine. The fact that this all began at the time that Drew largely vanished and when he has returned it has been without comment has me wondering many things that I am sure others have considered. Drew we would love to hear from you.

[12voltyV2.0]

I suspect that there are a variety of reactions to reading this site for the first time depending upon when you first saw it. I have read several different eras since 2006 when I first was here. There was an era of bisexuals posting questions and insecurities but that has long passed. There have been eras where non bisexual partners used this site to get clarification but more so support for their own fears and biphobic issues. That era has passed as well. Very few threads deal with the bigger picture issues of being bisexual in a heterosexual monosexual world.

There have been other eras where troll(s) has been similarly salaciously posting and people with questions and concerns did dwindle in posting during those periods. Now, today, I don't recall reading t posts about a newly awakening awareness of bisexuality for quite awhile.

I think that there may be other bisexual sites where a person who is coming to the realization may check out. I'm turned off by the excessive low intelligent sexual mechanic level postings now. If I were newly awakening about my bisexuality I doubt if the type of simplistic porn style threads would be comforting me that I am not a perverted sex crazed person like bisexual myths state. There are still some threads that are more socially questioning such as “conservatism and being bisexual”. No new threads on social issues or articles about being bisexual. ...just "have you ever" simplistic tallying surface style of questions. A few may be ok but the tilt has banished any socially significant contribution by this site. There are even fewer if you have blocked people who are creating polls etc on sexual mechanics. Any thread starting with "have you ever" tends not to raise issues about being bisexual in a monosexual world. If someone is looking for a porn site which is mostly referring to same sex male behaviour, then this is now your site to come and read. The threads with the longest commenting are not about bisexuality in a mainstream monosexual heterosexual life.

Does this site differ enough from a male porn gay site to be considered helpful to a nervous, confused, newly aware bisexual?

Are we dealing with trivial, non vanilla, perversion here or does the flooding of sexual mechanic threads represent a biphobic, intentional strategy to eliminate any positive contribution this site has had in the past to support bisexuals?

As you said---there were past times when most of the threads here on the board had more substance to them--especially in regards to people trying to understand, explain to themselves. navigate and just simply try to figure out this "bisexual thing."

Sadly, that is no longer the case----it does have to do I suppose with the individuals we once had here----some great but very serious individuals who were sincerely trying to "figure it all out."

I do have to say--that in those days---we did not at first have all that many "troll attacks" but once they started in earnest it did change things here----such "attacks" at one point were really bad and frequent. While we might have just one "individual"---during the worst of such times---we either had a single person who took on a number of aliases and then played one off the other--or we had a cadre of like minded people who just wanted to create turmoil.

While many of us hard core types held on---this sort of thing did cause some good people who were 'old-timers' to bail or it scared away new ones who came to the site seeking answers.

I know that I had a troll who, until I changed the settings of my profile to only allow those who were "friends" to send me both on-site emails or emails to an outside account because I had this period that both accounts were inundated with scores of messages----from at least a dozen different names---but all had come from a Gmail account and when I tried to respond to at least a few of them, they were always blocked addresses.

Some of the stuff they said in those messages was pretty nasty, mean, vile and just plain a big pain in the ass. A lot of it was also just plain out BAT SHIT CRAZY!!

Blocking messages from "non-friends" solved that issue and as I have said several times in regards to people freaking out over what a particular person is currently doing on the site---I urge members to put on IGNORE STATUS such vexing people and then life becomes much better on here and it doesn't matter what they say or do.

[BiBedBud]

BiBedBud, the thing is, I don't think you're causing him any pain. I think if anything, it's just feeding the fire. To expound on your analogy, if you get in a fight in a bar or nightclub, even if you didn't start it or you think you're doing the appropriate thing, you'll still get booted too.

While I don't want the responsibility of being a moderator, I do think that any mods should be level headed and fair.
Melody,

You wrote earlier about the requirement for mods to be level-headed and fair; and here you’ve remarked that you’d “prefer it to be someone who could look at the board and all members, not just react to one member or situation”. I would ordinarily agree, except that I don’t think bisexualdotcom needs a moderator in the normal sense. IMO there is only one “member” (dick?) here who needs anything in the way of ongoing moderation. If I were a mod, I wouldn’t undertake the moderation of anyone else – so far as I can tell – because there seems to be only one problem person involved.

Concepts of “fairness” only arise when there are two or more parties to a dispute, and all have valid points which must be weighed. In this case, pole_smoker has demonstrated flagrant disregard for any semblance of our rules – he is a serial trespasser, to say the least – and so fairness doesn’t weigh-in. I don’t need to consider his side of things. If I were a mod here, I would attempt to run him off, or failing that, to make him get along with others here better.

Keeping this one disruptive, abusive pole_fucker character at bay or otherwise under control, would be all that needs to happen, to bring this place under adequate moderation. If this were a work-related forum where things were always very serious and done with a view toward efficiency; certainly stricter rules should apply. But that’s not what this place is, so I wouldn’t – if I were ever granted moderator powers – undertake anything resembling the ongoing moderation you might see on a developer’s forum or a support forum in the IT industry, for example.

As for being level-headed: I am in most things, but not when extreme measures are called for. Being level works well on “the flats”, but over harsh terrain, hard manoeuvring is necessary. Besides, I lack the patience to give this fucker the gently-gently. To wit: I’m not sure if this makes me as level-headed on the subject as I am on other subjects, much less if this should disqualify me from being a mod here: But I have taken comfort from leaving odd words of contempt on pole_smoker’s “Visitor Messages” page on his profile.

I can only leave one message every 60 seconds, so what I’ll do when I first log-in, is head to his profile if I spot him and leave a couple of words of contempt. I’m not writing much there, and ordinarily I’m not one for name calling, but in this case….. it truly is the thought that counts. Then, if I see an opportunity to roast him or dis him in the threads, and it makes me smirk sufficiently wide to bare a tooth; I’ll tap away to burst his bubble and effectively deny him the validation he seeks.

I might even leave multiple messages on his “Visitor Messages” board during a single visit, so I guess he could accuse me of spamming him with hate spam. But it just feels so right, it can’t be wrong! (Does this constitute ‘vigilante posting’? If so…………………………. ;-)

I think my approach will ‘work’ by virtue of his very pathology: He wants us to believe such-and-such about him – to like and admire him for it; or at least to submit to his continuous, compulsive judgement. So, IMHO, he needs to understand a few things more clearly than he does now. He should understand that we’re laughing at him. That we’re not buying-in in any way (even the ephemeral implied/imagined validation he receives when we’re just ignoring him as he floods the board). He has to see us dissecting his problems and psychoanalyzing him, all the while discussing him *in the third-person, though he is reading every single word*. This will bring him back to his obviously painful childhood; which he is desperately trying to exercise by participating in this adult forum.

The true trouble is; he’s still a child himself, psychosexually. It is painfully obvious. But because of everything he’s been through, he has none of the innocence of a child.

This is why I consider him (and call him) a psychosexual dwarf.

I think my most frequent bit of hate spam is just those two words – “Psychosexual Dwarf”. It fits so perfectly!

I would proffer, my writing these words here, in public view, is intended as an “aversion therapy” administered by reflexively doubting everything he claims as his truth; because he is such a fucking liar, such a ‘twisted sister’ that he needs to get professional help ASAFP.


NB: I suspect his latest gambit is a flock of new accounts, many posting for the first time or with very low post-counts, using these new accounts as ‘decoys’. (Hunters place decoys on a pond, so other ducks will land there. This is what pole_smoker is up to now, IMO. You might disagree and I wouldn’t care to argue; but hopefully you’re more circumspect about who is posting what and whether or not you want to reply to a pole_smoker poll/thread.)

[BiBedBud]

BiBedBud, the thing is, I don't think you're causing him any pain. I think if anything, it's just feeding the fire. To expound on your analogy, if you get in a fight in a bar or nightclub, even if you didn't start it or you think you're doing the appropriate thing, you'll still get booted too.

While I don't want the responsibility of being a moderator, I do think that any mods should be level headed and fair.
Melody,

I appreciate your spin on my nightclub analogy, and I truly do understand what you’re saying. But I think if we try to ignore him, he’ll just carry on and he’ll never leave or reform himself.

If we continue to allow him opportunities for validation (as false and spurious as they may be), he’ll never get better, and he’ll never seek treatment. He’ll be the millstone around this site’s neck, until it’s totally sunk. (Many members have remarked similarly.)

I think: To make him go elsewhere, for his own good, we must (or at least, I must) confront his BS and however I can, disallow him the false validation he doesn’t deserve anyway – for his own good, if not for our own peace of mind (which would be reason enough, IMO).

We should do this for his sake as well as ours and I would suggest, for ‘bisexuals in general’.

Frankly, I don’t even think he is bisexual, having written nothing to suggest an actual sexual attraction to women. (He’s only remarked on women to validate himself; as if they’re his credential to prove he’s bi.)

In fact, he is a self-loathing homosexual.

[JaredT77]

I have sent a private message to pole_smoker and apologizing for what I've said to him and hopefully we can bury the hatchet. I'm not bad mouthing the guy any more because this has been really petty and childish how everybody, including myself, are acting. Maybe the guy has a lot of free time on his hands at home or maybe at work. Everybody have different strokes for different folks. Some people want to speak out about political issues and others just want to talk about sex. I'm all up for both topics. After all, don't we all go both ways? I admit, I have my own issues with my sexuality. I'm being a bigger man and admit my faults. I'm not perfect and I don't try to be perfect. I'm not narcissistic. I'm just me.

If only everybody on here could tolerate others. That would be a really nice bisexual world.

[pole_smoker]

Melody,

I appreciate your spin on my nightclub analogy, and I truly do understand what you’re saying. But I think if we try to ignore him, he’ll just carry on and he’ll never leave or reform himself.

If we continue to allow him opportunities for validation (as false and spurious as they may be), he’ll never get better, and he’ll never seek treatment. He’ll be the millstone around this site’s neck, until it’s totally sunk. (Many members have remarked similarly.)

I think: To make him go elsewhere, for his own good, we must (or at least, I must) confront his BS and however I can, disallow him the false validation he doesn’t deserve anyway – for his own good, if not for our own peace of mind (which would be reason enough, IMO).

We should do this for his sake as well as ours and I would suggest, for ‘bisexuals in general’.

Frankly, I don’t even think he is bisexual, having written nothing to suggest an actual sexual attraction to women. (He’s only remarked on women to validate himself; as if they’re his credential to prove he’s bi.)

In fact, he is a self-loathing homosexual.
I'm bisexual; but I don't need to prove it to a troll like you.

I have written about my sexual attraction to women.

Either way, you need to stop trolling/stalking/obsessing over me, and having this board go to your tiny head and ego.

[BiBedBud]

Melody & Bibed
Any moderation should adhere to standards of site behaviour. The site has four rules. What would you change in the rules to prevent site abuse or give rationale for banning a poster?

tenni (and Melody),

These are good questions you’ve raised; however I wouldn’t go down that “rule” road for a few reasons. First of all, there is not a single member here who is A-OK with all the rules, not even Drew himself. I have read the EULA (End User Licence Agreement) that prevails with the ‘VBulletin’ forum software we’re all using right now, and supposedly we’re not supposed to use if for sex! LOL!

Undoubtedly, this isn’t a work-related website, so I am uncertain rules could or even should help us here. While it would certainly be preferable if members posted with a wee tad greater discipline and courtesy; I don’t think we need the level of organization that you would want in a work-related forum. Some forums have many rules, and these work well for those places, but here, I’m not convinced that would help.

On top of which: This pole_fucker isn’t going to pay any attention to our rules anyway, so why bother crafting them? For our guidance?

Besides, rules can work where accountability is enforceable. But because we’re all here ‘anonymously’, and there’s nothing stopping any of us from creating multiple accounts, the benefits of us having more written rules are not going to include discipline for pole_smoker.

As far as I can tell, 95% of the problem with this website stems from one maladjusted individual; and he won’t follow our rules even if they’re neatly written in simple language he can comprehend.

Instead, I think a moderator should have the power to ‘warn’ someone when problems arise; giving them a chance to behave themselves. The warnings get logged in the database (so it doesn’t rely on memory and multiple mods can handle the same individual appropriately). If there are a total of three warnings during a six month period, a temporary ban ensues. Circumventing a temporary ban (by using an alternate account) results in an immediate, permanent ban (for all connected accounts). Arguing with a moderator can get you a warning, and if that warning is your third in six months, you’re banned.

This system is highly adaptive, fair, transparent, logged and corrective in nature. It also *PURPOSEFULLY* leaves wide-open, all standards to community and moderator interpretation; by not attempting to proscribe “correct” communications.

So, to answer your question, tenni, I would simply add a fifth ‘blanket rule’ as follows:

All participation in this website is subject to moderation. Moderators will issue a maximum of three (3) warnings during any six (6) month period, prior to imposing a temporary ban on an offending member. The duration of a temporary ban is at the discretion of the ‘third strike’ moderator. Circumventing a temporary ban will earn a permanent ban. Arguing with a moderator risks an additional warning, and if this warning is the third within six months, a ban will ensue. Persistently disruptive and/or abusive behaviour will receive a permanent ban.


BADA BOOM!
BADA BING!

[BiBedBud]

I am not sure that the rules for banning need to be changed as much as the rules for posting. Limiting it to starting one thread per day and say 3 per month might be a good start and some other logical limit on replying to posts. We have all had ongoing replies within a single post but limiting replies to a single thread or 2 threads per hour might also work. Also Drew always maintained the rule that personal adds need to stay out of the forums which makes sense. Maybe limiting "Polling Treads" started by any individual in the forum to one a month would also be logical. There are many I disagree with on the site and am sure that many disagree with me. When it is not so overpowering we all understand that we are different and usually do not get into this type of situation. I have never seen in my time here a single individual manipulate the boards this badly, it needs to tone down before too many others leave the site and do not return.

Coatocoast,

Thank you for giving things some thought. But I’m not sure it is workable, the way you (might?) think it is. For starters, I’ve gotta say that rules are for people who are determined to follow them. But this pole_smoker asshole is determined to ignore rules, so rules-schmules, if you know what I mean.

You’ve further implied a technical solution, and there you are absolutely correct; but the precise technical solution you’ve described is going to be difficult I am sure.

For the record, I have no experience with the VBulletin software that Drew has installed here at bisexualdotcom (at a cost of about $200). I do have familiarity with an alternative platform called ‘phpBB’ (which is ‘freeware’). Both systems use similar technology, in that both are built on .php code (i.e. the programming language) and use SQL databases in the back-end (for data storage). That said, my disclaimer is: I’ve never actually seen ‘behind’ VBulletin, so I’m only guessing when I write the following, and my guesses assume it’s exactly like how it is in ‘phpBB’ (which may not be the case).

Usually, a ‘forum’ (also known as a ‘Bulletin Board’, hence the ‘BB’ in ‘phpBB’) will have one, board-wide ‘flood limit’ setting for all members. This controls the maximum rate at which they can start new topics or post again (there are separate controls for each instance of posting – for a new thread or a reply to an existing thread). Consider this the ‘ceiling’ of these two rules; as it sets a rate above which nobody can post faster/rise-above. By setting-up user-groups properly and putting different types of users in different groups (for example, paying and non-paying memberships); it could be possible to put paying members in a group that enables them to ‘ignore the flood limit’; so these people could post without restriction.

Regardless of which user group a specific member belongs to, a moderator or administrator can always place someone specific ‘on the moderation queue’. This means, whatever that member does, before it gets posted/published, it will need approval from a moderator or administrator. Putting someone on queue in this manner is also an effective way to cool someone off. If I were a mod here, and everything worked like it does with phpBB, that’s what I would have done with pole_smoker, long, long ago. He’d be on queue. Everything he posted, every thread he created, would need prior approval prior to being visible to other members; and I might just take a while with pole_smoker’s BS, or put the ones I liked through all at once in the middle of the night; or never – just delete them outright.

I can see myself doing it now: Click, click, click, click, click, click, option-down, “DELETE ALL SELECTED”…… “CONFIRM”……. pole_smoker GETS SMOKED!

It would still be tedious, because who really needs another online maintenance job to do? But, it would spare the wider audience of bisexualdotcom much of the tripe posted by pole_smoker.

Of course, he could use another account, or any of the multitude of accounts I suspect he has. But from what I gather: He has certain accounts that he uses to get people to like him, some that he uses to get people to hate him, others that he uses to ‘get convo flowing’ WRT these first two types of accounts (these are the ‘decoy’ accounts); and in truth, it’s only the hate-oriented ones that cause problems here; primarily via ‘Thread Spam’.

Where the battle will be finally won: Is when a mod (perhaps me, perhaps someone else) will have the tools to counter pole_smoker’s typed-up clap-trap with a few clicks of the mod-mouse. His typing just can’t match the power of mod clicking, it doesn’t matter how many pole_smoking accounts he sets-up.

I should add: This place will certainly need more than me as a mod, because I do travel at times, and won’t always keep-up with this website while I’m away. (Because some of the places I sometimes must visit might actually *jail me* for long periods of time just for viewing this website. FYI: Are you aware of this:


WRT what you wrote specifically, Coastocoast:

I don’t think anyone would like to see a cap on posting, because there can be some back-and-forth and often this is a very good thing. The precise problem of pole_smoker is that he is causing ‘Thread Proliferation’ via ‘Thread Spam’. (Of course, he’s not the only one, but he is the worse one by a factor of about 1000.) Therefore, what we need to address is not posting, but new thread creation, which has never, ever been done right here at bisexualdotcom, IMO.

Having two ‘caps’, one for a daily rate of thread creation and one for monthly rate, would be more complex than the default management rate setting, which is based on a daily rate. SO, If you wanted to further restrict thread creation to no more often than three times per month, what you’d have to do involves some rough math and the use of a fractional setting.

For example, capping someone on one new thread per day would be a setting of ‘1’, whereas capping them at no more than three times per month would be ((1/30 = 0.033333333333) x 3) = 0.1. The member could wait until the end of 30 days, and create three threads in one day, or he/she could post a new thread every ten days (effectively, three times per month, although some months are 28, 29, 30 and 31 days, depending on the year, so a ‘proper coder’ would have to do more ‘subroutines’ for that, yada, yada). The point is, having two ‘layers’ of rules, for max daily and max monthly, would involve custom work ($) and could cause other troubles. I think it’s better to stick with the one setting, and make due with how it works (perhaps with a fractional setting).


As for controls on posting, restricting it to a certain number of threads, this would be more complex; and I don’t know of any ‘mod kit’ (of computer code to be inserted into the ‘BB’ software program), that would smoothly accomplish this – so again you’re talking ‘custom code’ and then accordant compatibility issues, and inevitable debugging, plus complications for future updates/upgrades. In brief: This is probably a lot of trouble, and in the end, no substitute for a mod online who can swoop-in as required and cool someone out.


So what I would recommend given our current situation: Leave the post/reply limit wide-open. Cap the post/new thread limit at two (2) per day, which most members won’t even use; and slam every incarnation of pole_smoker into a moderation queue. Perhaps, if he’s limited to two per day, he might give it more thought and actually poll for something of worth or actual interest……. But that’s probably a long-shot.

As for distinguishing between polling and non-polling threads; on a technical level, this is also ‘custom code’, and well beyond my expertise.