help

[muriel]

Hi all, well i am new to this site, i am a 24 year old married woman, i have always been attracted to women and although i have never had sex with one i have kissed alot of women in night clubs etc. I never knew what to do with these feelings and i suppose i was scared. I am not married long but about a year ago me and my husband split up and i started to see another man, he was very interested in having a threesome and was accepting of my feeling for other women. My husband is very homophobic and i am afraid of telling him my feelings for fear of loosing him. our sex is crap and i long to experiment with other women, but i just dont know how to go about it or what to do.

any advice would be great

[anne27]

You're married, but dating a man on the side and your b/f wants a threesome with you and another woman, right? *forgive me, but I'm slow today*

If you are asking if you should do the threesome, that's up to you.

If you're asking if you should tell your hubby about your feelings, if you are hoping to get back together with him someday, honestly is a good place to start, so I'd say yes.

I have to say, your life is rather complicated.

Welcome to the site! I am sure you'll get a lot of answers better than mine! ;)

[littlerayofsunshine]

Hubby is homophobic and you married him anyway, Split up with him and found another man who would have been accepting, but got back with homophobic hubby? And now you are scared of losing hubby again? You have quite a situation. Only thing I can suggest, be open and who you are, if you unhappy with your sex-life and want other things, you won't be able to hide it very long, Supression will only last so long before the actual feelings seep their way out.

[AnotherVoice]

Ya, I was a bit confused with this post myself. My hunch is, sex isn't good for you because you're not being honest with .. I'm guessing you're husband which you were referring to? If you're going to close yourself off in the bedroom (keeping secrets) you're never going to get the satisfaction you're looking for. Also, you may want to reprioritize what it is you're wanting from your husband. Is he really the one you want to be with? Doesn't sound like it.

[jedinudist]

Hi all, well i am new to this site, i am a 24 year old married woman, i have always been attracted to women and although i have never had sex with one i have kissed alot of women in night clubs etc. I never knew what to do with these feelings and i suppose i was scared. I am not married long but about a year ago me and my husband split up and i started to see another man, he was very interested in having a threesome and was accepting of my feeling for other women. My husband is very homophobic and i am afraid of telling him my feelings for fear of loosing him. our sex is crap and i long to experiment with other women, but i just dont know how to go about it or what to do.

any advice would be great

I would have to recomend honesty.

Honesty with your estranged husband (you didn't mention if you two had gotten back together, only that you split and you didn't want to lose him). If you don't want to lose your husband, I would also suggest you stop seeing anyone at all until the two of you work this out. Your seeing another man is not conducive to you and your husband getting back together.

Honesty with yourself. Look into yourself and at these feelings you have for other women. Talk them over with your husband if you really feel that this is something that you are going to have to address. They are a part of you and if you try to hide and suppress them, they will fester, only to return to the surface later on. Treat your spouse as your ally in this because these feelings are a part of you, and if he can not cope with them now, he will not very likely be able to cope with them when they resurface. And they will resurface if you try to bury them.

Don't try to lead a "double life" where you get back together with your husband with him under the impression that you are heterosexual, then going out on the sly and pursuing a bisexual experience or lifestyle. It's not fair to either of you to do something like that.

If your husband can not or is not willing to cope with your sexuality, try counseling or address the idea that the two of you may not be compatible.

You owe it to yourself and your spouse to be honest and upfront with this. Lies and deception will destroy the best of marriages. Building a marriage with those as the foundation is a recipie for failure and heartache.

And lose the boyfriend during this process. He has no place in it.