from one extreme to the other

[DiamondDog]

has anyone else here ever went through periods where you think you're het since you're really wanting to be with the opposite gender, to where you think you're gay since you really want to be with the same gender, and then you end up kinda balancing out and like both pretty equally?

[jedinudist]

has anyone else here ever went through periods where you think you're het since you're really wanting to be with the opposite gender, to where you think you're gay since you really want to be with the same gender, and then you end up kinda balancing out and like both pretty equally?


Yeah, I did that (sort of forced it on myself) in my early 20's. I was trying to make myself be one thing or the other.

Wow - that was a self-destructive thing to do.

[prettycolors]

I actually don't think about lust in these terms anymore. I figured out I always want a PERSON as a whole, not a woman or a man. This helps. No gender is "better" than another but sometimes I feel more driven towards person A and other times towards person B.

[Azrael]

Well sure I have. It gets annoying at times but I try to take it all in good stride. At least i'm past wanting to align with one side or the other. Those were troubling times.

[smurf111978]

I find my attraction to guys fluctuates from being very strong to reasonably weak. I find this quite confusing and it tends to leave me questioning my sexuality again. However I do know I'm not dead str8 due to the thoughts and feelings I have at times.

[Reprob8]

has anyone else here ever went through periods where you think you're het since you're really wanting to be with the opposite gender, to where you think you're gay since you really want to be with the same gender, and then you end up kinda balancing out and like both pretty equally?



For me that is the hardest part of bisexuality, for most of my life I would have to wrestle with my attraction for men and after a few weeks the attraction would fade away which enabled me to repress it again. This continued for 30 years until this last time when I embraced it and found someone to talk to about it. I now find the feelings receding but this time the feelings are there just not as strong and if anything I almost feel a little regret because I like that part of me, the knowledge made me strong and accepting of myself and I really like myself again. I am a lot happier and more accepting of others.

I identify as primarily gay but that may be because it is new to me and my feelings may continue to recede to a more neutral balance however I can never see myself identifying as straight again.

[ophelia_in_red]

I tend to find I'm pretty much Kinsey 6 for three weeks of every month, and then during ovulation I find myself suddenly more interested in men, round about a Kinsey 4 :tong: I think a lot of bisexual people have to deal with fluctuations of their sexuality; I don't suppose it's much to worry about.

[canuckotter]

Yarrr. I can swing pretty widely... Not to the point of thinking I'm gay (I always lubs me teh ladies!) but I can swing from "1 and a tiny little bit" to about a 5 within the course of a couple days. My base state is at roughly a 2.5, but where I am on any given day can vary quite a bit... Or even from morning to evening... Or whatever. :)

[wtp09]

have to say that i have experienced that in a way. it has always been with whether i am more hetero though. but it always swings back to me having an overwhelming desire to want to have sex with men and women. i just need to get them both in the sack at the same time, at this point. share the lust share the lust LOL :bigrin: :bigrin: :bigrin:

[Mystical Light]

In my short time on this site I have come to realize that I have been very lucky. I have always felt that it was the most natural thing in the world to be attracted to both males and females. As far back a grade school I had a crush on a boy and a girl and to me that was normal. I have never felt monosexual either str8 or gay. I have always been attracted to the person first and gender is just gender. In the end for me, it has been and always will be about love and not the body. That is just the way I am and I am that I am.

[mrplayfuluk]

this is one of the most confusing aspects of identifying as bisexual. Having grown up going to all boys school where my first sexual experiences were with other boys in locker rooms then going out on Fridays to teen discos and getting interested in girls, my sexuality was confused from the start. You could say I was taught in my early teens that sex had possibilities for me regardless of gender. Even through college i eventually was drawn to and hung out with a bunch of art students who on reflection, were all mainly bicurious but I never really understood or explored this at the time. So as an adult without any gay friends and one bi friend who I still haven't 'come out' to, I swing like a pendulum from feeling like a 4/5 back to a 3 on the scale. I once went through that self examination for months trying to figure out if I was just a closet gay waiting to come out and thanks to sites like this one and a relationship counsellor after a bad one, I came to the happy realization that my childhood experiences never taught me to differentiate between male and female as sexual partners. I guess I believe that bisexuality is as a result of nurture and predisposition at an age when I was open to most things pleasurable. While I'd be happier being one or the other, I've accepted my lot and wish society was more accepting of male bisexuality in the way it is with female bisexuality. As an adult i haven't had any real bi experiences to date but my reticence comes more out of fear of the experience being emotionally overwhelming than denial. I rarely get lusty over guys I see when I'm out, but always turn my head for an attractive woman. I can't imagine a relationship with a guy but love women's personalities and find them sexy. So I've concluded I like men sexually and women in every way... and so it goes on. Thank god for this site it helps me feel normal in a confusing world of viewpoints.

[Herbwoman39]

It's funny how I never really "get" things until it happens to me.

I JUST went though a brief phase like that where the very thought of being with a woman just felt *wrong*. Even my usual questions didn't help. No assistance from the Pussycat Dolls there. :(

Odd thing is, there was a new Pepsi commercial last night with an absoutely stunning, willowy African American woman in a cute flowing dress and she snapped me right out of it. (shrugs) I don't get it and I'm tired of trying to figure it out so I'm just gonna go with the flow. :flag1:

[DiamondDog]

It's funny how I never really "get" things until it happens to me.

I JUST went though a brief phase like that where the very thought of being with a woman just felt *wrong*. Even my usual questions didn't help. No assistance from the Pussycat Dolls there. :(

Odd thing is, there was a new Pepsi commercial last night with an absoutely stunning, willowy African American woman in a cute flowing dress and she snapped me right out of it. (shrugs) I don't get it and I'm tired of trying to figure it out so I'm just gonna go with the flow. :flag1:

yeah for a few days I was going thru a period where I didn't want anything to do with a man (not even kissing :( ) and then I'm not sure how I snapped out of it but then I thought about men I'm friends with who I'd fallen in love/infatuation with, and I had a sex dream about my friend this morning.

[the sacred night]

I notice I go through these cycles where for weeks at a time, I'll be all about one gender or the other, but then be in the mood for the opposite one a couple weeks later. I can always be attracted to someone of either gender, but most of the time I'm sort of predisposed toward one or the other I guess... and sometimes I just get super horny for one gender and the thought of the other just doesn't do it for me at all. If any of that made any sense...

So it seems you are not alone! There appear to be a lot of us on here like that!