Male bisexual VS female bisexuality (and my thoughts on this website). PART 1

[Ebonybifemme7]

I joined this website back in 2012, and I mostly stayed in the chatrooms at first, but then I started going into the forums more. I was surprised to find that there are more men on this website then women. I would say that there is probably about 1 woman for every 5 men (including couples).

What shocks me most about this website is the number of men who are almost WILLING to go out of their way to get male on male sexually gratification and satisfaction, while still putting up a very straight/heterosexual front in their public lives, and semi-personal lives. What shocks me more is that their wives accept it. Most of my straight female friends wouldnt accept that at all. But thats just here in my circles where I live.

I've always known that I was attracted to girls growing up, but boys too. I used to think I was gay at one point of my life, but I still like men. More then likely I will end up marrying a man but I wouldnt mind being in a relationship with a female, but damnly near impossible to find, with lesbians they do not like bi females, and bi females are only with men. There are still a lot of prejudice and limitations out there. Sadly, I find that most people can't get past their prejudice, and it consumes them in every way imaginable. I've worked with people like this.

I guess with me, when I first told some of my friends that I was bi when I was 20, only ONE excepted it. The rest, not so much. One guy broke up with me over it, well, that was one of many reasons.

I started viewing gay and bisexual porn back in 2008, and I found that I loved watching it. OMG. That took my sexuality to a whole other level. I still like girl on girl stuff, but I find women to be kinda fake and phoney. Somethings about seeing two men have sex that just looks so, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Women are not as passionate as men. But I like that women are caring and motherly. But I like that men are manly and passionate and they actually WANT to have sex. So I guess thats why I like both sexes, cause I get something from each sex. I dont view my sexuality as something thats evil or deviant: Its just who and what I am.

[Ebonybifemme7]

I wanted to ask what you guys think that male bisexuality is different from female bisexuality? I personally believe that men are more prized then women. It doesnt surprise me that men who seek eachother out for sex, while women are kinda in the background, sort of speak. I think males are wired differently then women. I think women use sex to get what they want, while men have sex because, most of the time, they genuinely want to do it. MEN CAN'T FAKE IT! Now I'm not saying that women dont like sex at all, but women arent as sex driven as men are. Most of the time, women act a certain way, to get what they want.

[Hypersexual11]

I would bet that the amount of sex in a lesbian relationship is about none. Without a man to get things going, I don't see how 2 women ever get around to it. Of course men are wired differently. We are assigned the task of proliferating the species. Meaning we want to have sex, and want to have sex with a lot of different women. Some of us got our wires crossed somewhere and want sex with guys as well. Since we are men and really want sex and the guy 100 miles away also wants to have sex, somehow it will work out. When 2 guys have sex, that's it. There may be an e-mail asking if it can be repeated but little or no drama. Finding a man to have sex with, takes about 10 minutes depending on how picky one is. I wouldn't even know how to find a woman if I wanted one.

A gay friend has been in an ltr for 20years. I asked if sex got boring. He said they still have sex 4 or 5 times a week. A bi friend of mine was chatting with me the other night. In the past week he had seen the 2 guys he calls his fuck buds and one new guy. Guys like sex, and have a lot of it left to our own devises.

Bisexuality gives men the opportunity to explore what we covet. NSA sex. Where we can have sex, enjoy it and leave it at that. That is the difference between bi men and bi women. There is no need for a relationship.

Obviously there is a huge range of personalities in bisexuality. There are plenty of twinky dudes that are looking for love. I generalize because of what I have seen and experienced. MOST of us bi guys would never be able to be picked out, MOST of us are pretty manly. I don't think we deal with the same issues as a bi woman, although, rarely do we put that out there. There is almost never a reason to reveal that you are bi other than to a prospective lover or the person you are going to marry.

[pole_smoker]

I would bet that the amount of sex in a lesbian relationship is about none. Without a man to get things going, I don't see how 2 women ever get around to it. Of course men are wired differently. We are assigned the task of proliferating the species. Meaning we want to have sex, and want to have sex with a lot of different women. Some of us got our wires crossed somewhere and want sex with guys as well. Since we are men and really want sex and the guy 100 miles away also wants to have sex, somehow it will work out. When 2 guys have sex, that's it. There may be an e-mail asking if it can be repeated but little or no drama. Finding a man to have sex with, takes about 10 minutes depending on how picky one is. I wouldn't even know how to find a woman if I wanted one.

A gay friend has been in an ltr for 20years. I asked if sex got boring. He said they still have sex 4 or 5 times a week. A bi friend of mine was chatting with me the other night. In the past week he had seen the 2 guys he calls his fuck buds and one new guy. Guys like sex, and have a lot of it left to our own devises.

Bisexuality gives men the opportunity to explore what we covet. NSA sex. Where we can have sex, enjoy it and leave it at that. That is the difference between bi men and bi women. There is no need for a relationship.

Obviously there is a huge range of personalities in bisexuality. There are plenty of twinky dudes that are looking for love. I generalize because of what I have seen and experienced. MOST of us bi guys would never be able to be picked out, MOST of us are pretty manly. I don't think we deal with the same issues as a bi woman, although, rarely do we put that out there. There is almost never a reason to reveal that you are bi other than to a prospective lover or the person you are going to marry.
Do you actually know any lesbians? I do, and they do have active sex lives both while single, dating, and in long-term relationships, and marriages with other women.

Not all bisexual men, or even most are into NSA sex. I'm not into it, or having FWB/FBs, etc. and I prefer to have sex with a man when we're in a relationship or partnership.

Also, not all bisexual men are masculine. I have bisexual male friends who are androgynous, or feminine, and that's just how they are.

[Ebonybifemme7]

I would bet that the amount of sex in a lesbian relationship is about none. Without a man to get things going, I don't see how 2 women ever get around to it. Of course men are wired differently. We are assigned the task of proliferating the species. Meaning we want to have sex, and want to have sex with a lot of different women. Some of us got our wires crossed somewhere and want sex with guys as well. Since we are men and really want sex and the guy 100 miles away also wants to have sex, somehow it will work out. When 2 guys have sex, that's it. There may be an e-mail asking if it can be repeated but little or no drama. Finding a man to have sex with, takes about 10 minutes depending on how picky one is. I wouldn't even know how to find a woman if I wanted one.

A gay friend has been in an ltr for 20years. I asked if sex got boring. He said they still have sex 4 or 5 times a week. A bi friend of mine was chatting with me the other night. In the past week he had seen the 2 guys he calls his fuck buds and one new guy. Guys like sex, and have a lot of it left to our own devises.

Bisexuality gives men the opportunity to explore what we covet. NSA sex. Where we can have sex, enjoy it and leave it at that. That is the difference between bi men and bi women. There is no need for a relationship.

Obviously there is a huge range of personalities in bisexuality. There are plenty of twinky dudes that are looking for love. I generalize because of what I have seen and experienced. MOST of us bi guys would never be able to be picked out, MOST of us are pretty manly. I don't think we deal with the same issues as a bi woman, although, rarely do we put that out there. There is almost never a reason to reveal that you are bi other than to a prospective lover or the person you are going to marry.

I understand what you are saying. Very few women are actually truly gay or bisexual. Most women are straight. I can say with all honesty thats something that you have to really seek out, and I mean REALLY seek out. Women dont think about sex the way that men think about it. Not saying that all women are conservative virgin nuns but they just dont have as high of a sex drive as the men do. Never knew that something called lesbian bedroom death existed until recently, but it doesnt surprise me at all.

[kaylacolline]

hmm interesting opinion ebonybifemme. I can only speak from experience on this subject but you are right in that women definitely HAVE used sex to get what they want, but I think more often than not its just the same as men. I personally can only go so long without an orgasm whether i'm with a man or woman. I'm sure it varies with different women having different libido's. The main difference that I can see is the type of sex we all have. women take that bit of extra time with foreplay and seduction whereas men often hop right to it. not to mention that its much more taboo for women to be sleeping around. its very hard to generalize this subject though. so many different people to have fun with :) fun fact: a study was done on achieving orgasms and men that were gay, straight or otherwise achieved it an average of 85% of the time through sexual encounters, while bisexual/lesbian women achieved it 75% and straight women a mere 63% of the time...cheers to us for doing it right! haha

[cbb83]

Not all men are a bunch of NSA sex fiends. I rather prefer to actually give a damned and even love the person I am having sex with. I seriously wonder sometimes if there aren't two classifications of bisexuals: those who are bisexual with their emotions as well as their bodies, and those who are bisexual only with their bodies. Personally I view the latter as simply lust-unrestrained.

[pole_smoker]

Not all men are a bunch of NSA sex fiends. I rather prefer to actually give a damned and even love the person I am having sex with. I seriously wonder sometimes if there aren't two classifications of bisexuals: those who are bisexual with their emotions as well as their bodies, and those who are bisexual only with their bodies. Personally I view the latter as simply lust-unrestrained.
True. Not everyone that's bisexual and male, or male and another sexual orientation likes or has NSA sex despite how some people claim otherwise.

Also, the study done about how bi/lesbian women have more orgasms than hetero women is BS, and the so called researchers clearly have an agenda for pushing sensationalized junk science.

kaylacolline-The article/study you're referencing is click bait, and its also heterosexual baiting as many straights, male and female, don't seem to be amused by this claim "Lesbians have the best sex!" and the study did say that bisexual women have fewer orgasms than lesbian women do. Lesbians certainly have the best sex for lesbians. That much is true. The average heterosexual woman is not going to suddenly have more orgasms if she has sex with someone she has absolutely no sexual chemistry with, or sexual attraction to. Orgasm statistics aside, the best sex for a straight person, male or female, is sex with the opposite sex. The survey does not attempt to have equal and representative populations. But that study is worthless.

[12voltyV2.0]

I don't think it is possible to paint all people of either gender as being one way or another. Having always been single, I have had plenty of sex with both women and men that was simply "just sex"--either being with those who were social friends, but we didn't have a romantic relationship with the sex being just one more thing we did together, and I have had plenty of sex with both males and females that our entire relationship was really just to have sex and not much more---with a number of the women I have been with were the ones who initiated and wanted such a relationship to continue.

I of course have been with plenty of guys in which the sex was "just sex" with those couplings being good, fun and others not being so much fun or satisfying.

Of the guys I have been with, our getting together has just purely been for sex, but so many of those same guys do say that they wished it were possible for guys to be free and open to do things with other guys and wished it could be more intimate and romantic in nature and not just "go for it" type of sex.

I am finding that lots of guys like to and enjoy being naked together, making out and not just having sex--but their time doing so is so limited, they just have to go for having sex in some form and moving on.

It's really kind of sad that such is the case.

It is also too bad that society would have it that we stay in our little, limited, narrowly proscribed boxes and that is all we are supposed to be able to do and enjoy only that without doing more being wrong, bad, evil, depraved, sick, etc.

[pole_smoker]

Not all men are a bunch of NSA sex fiends. I rather prefer to actually give a damned and even love the person I am having sex with. I seriously wonder sometimes if there aren't two classifications of bisexuals: those who are bisexual with their emotions as well as their bodies, and those who are bisexual only with their bodies. Personally I view the latter as simply lust-unrestrained.
Then you have guys who are just into hooking up or casual sex like FWB/FB and claiming that they "fall in love" with men when it's clear they don't actually fall in love, have relationships, or romance with the same gender at all.

[pole_smoker]

Of the guys I have been with, our getting together has just purely been for sex, but so many of those same guys do say that they wished it were possible for guys to be free and open to do things with other guys and wished it could be more intimate and romantic in nature and not just "go for it" type of sex.

I am finding that lots of guys like to and enjoy being naked together, making out and not just having sex--but their time doing so is so limited, they just have to go for having sex in some form and moving on.

It's really kind of sad that such is the case.

It is also too bad that society would have it that we stay in our little, limited, narrowly proscribed boxes and that is all we are supposed to be able to do and enjoy only that without doing more being wrong, bad, evil, depraved, sick, etc.

Sex between bisexual and gay men does not have to be the way you described; but if a guy is closeted, on the DL (down low), or just not into the other man he's with sexually it's not going to be the way you described it. Western society does not care about bisexuality, or gay men, and it's not like we're living in Iran, or other places where it's dangerous to be something other than a heterosexual male.

[tenni]

I heard of a longitudinal study of women the other day. What the researchers found out is that as women mature and over time they became more open to relationships with women than men. There was not comparative study of men and I don't know if any reasons were speculated as to why this happened.

As to the OP 's question, I would think that it should be fairly obvious that sex is different for men than women regardless of their sexuality. Men are biologically wired to need to release their sexual tension more frequently than women. There are always exceptions but generally many men are on a three to four day cycle or urgency depending on age, health and other factors.

[pole_smoker]

As to the OP 's question, I would think that it should be fairly obvious that sex is different for men than women regardless of their sexuality. Men are biologically wired to need to release their sexual tension more frequently than women. There are always exceptions but generally many men are on a three to four day cycle or urgency depending on age, health and other factors.
Do you really think that women don't get horny and masturbate daily or frequently, don't watch porn, or never hook up? They do all of these things, and it's not just young adult women either.

[Annika L]

I would bet that the amount of sex in a lesbian relationship is about none. Without a man to get things going, I don't see how 2 women ever get around to it.

Wow, what an incredibly ignorant and sexist thing to say. Kinda staggering really. And people are aghast that we have so few female members here.

[pole_smoker]

I would bet that the amount of sex in a lesbian relationship is about none. Without a man to get things going, I don't see how 2 women ever get around to it.

I have met some gay men who told me that they also think this about lesbians; but these gay men also told me how they personally do not like lesbians at all, and had the same opinion that Hypersexual did that, "Lesbians and their sex are not natural...there's something wrong with a woman that isn't attracted to men, or who finds a penis gross/a turn off, or she had something horrible happen to her to make her this way."

When I asked them why they didn't like lesbians? Since I found it all rather odd...they said that they'd had bad experiences with lesbian women bashing men, and lesbians hating on everyone that's male and claiming things like "only a woman can actually only really be for women's rights, and men can't and simply don't understand and may claim to be for women's rights or equality of genders but they're really not".

The gay men I have known who had this opinion also did not like lesbians hating on bisexual and straight women, hating on trans people, and lesbian women bashing and hating on lesbian and bi women who have had sex with men, or even married them.

Other said that pretty much all of the lesbian women they had met were lesbian because they'd been raped, or sexually assaulted by a man.

[Alex2200]

wow pole smoker u have had some odd experiences for sure!
Most lez i know are just genetically attracted to women, like gay men genetically attracted to men. Bi does have a spectrum of attraction, some prefer one or other sex yet like both. No trauma or abuse caused attraction. So bisexuality narrows down to genetics in my opinion. Think some ppl make excuses and not accept reality.

[Alex2200]

Thinking u lean gay on the bisexual scale so of course u would have no idea how much fun two women can have with each other (no man needed). Ignorance is bliss.

[darkeyes]

U mean Hypersexual is serious? Naaaaa never.. it reads a piss take. If it isn't it is a long long time since I read such dimwittery... 😂

[pole_smoker]

wow pole smoker u have had some odd experiences for sure!
Most lez i know are just genetically attracted to women, like gay men genetically attracted to men. Bi does have a spectrum of attraction, some prefer one or other sex yet like both. No trauma or abuse caused attraction. So bisexuality narrows down to genetics in my opinion. Think some ppl make excuses and not accept reality.
Indeed I have had lots of odd experiences, or met odd people. Most I met in bars, or on the internet. Which should come as no surprise.

The little known secret that doesn't always get talked about with gay men is that some of them can be misogynists or flat out hate women. Most are not like this but some are. It ranges from just being grossed out by women's naked bodies, to the hardcore ones who don't even like having women as friends or being around them socially in public places. One gay man I met who was extremely bigoted told me how he thought the world would be better off without women, and that he would prefer a world where it's only men.

[AGuyIKnow]

... he would prefer a world where it's only men.
That would be interesting but I'm not going to be the one shooting male kids out my ass.

[elian]

Hmm, yes well many of the threads on the forum are male-centric for sure. Thanks for sharing your perspective Ebonybifemme7. I do hope you are able to find someone who is a good match for you.

Different between male and female bisexuality? In my culture women (at least one the surface) seem to have a bit more freedom being affectionate with other females (a lot of straight men seem to find female/female a turn on) but seem to be restricted socially in other ways. If a woman is promiscuous it is a scandal, if a man is promiscuous he is virile..

Mind you, not that I think being bisexual automatically makes a person promiscuous..

The fact is that most people don't like to be labelled, if everyone is unhappy with the rules, why don't we change them?

Given homophobia, in our culture it seems the worst thing you can do to a man is call him a woman. Why is that, and what does that say about men's opinions of women? Hmm..I am very sad these days at the expression of fear, frustration, apathy and violence in our world. I guess that's just the way life is now.