Intro

[AnotherVoice]

Hello, I'm a single mother of a 5-yr old who's recently discovered my bi-sexuality. I haven't told a single soul nor have I had any experience with it. I recently met a girl online who I'm really looking forward in meeting in person. Life sure does throw us a lot of curve balls! lol Anyhow, I'm not really sure how to process this info. I'm not even 100% sure but due to my lack of interest in men within the last 4 years and my increase in women (unconsciencely) within the same span of time .. leaves me to wonder. Any word of advice?

[arana]

I really have no advice for you since I haven't been with another women yet, but I hope you have a wonderful experience when you do. If it feels right you'll know it.
Welcome to the group!

[CherryBlossom74]

As it took us many years to come out and see ourselves as bisexual, then allow me to share some ideas with you as we have never had any kind of affairs same sex yet also.

1) Why treat it any differently than building a relationship in the fashion you are used to with a man/woman. This goes for people who are coming out after believing themselves to be gay/lesbian and realizing their bisexuality. It shouldn't be approached differently from the emotional and getting to know them stand point. SO be yourself and don't rush or slow it down, don't expect much to be different in the love aspect.

2) Don't expect everything to be any different than what you're used to relationship-wise except that you may want to be more discreet dependant on where you live and how accepting people are around. In other words, don't build it up in your mind to some pinnacle of your existance so you crash if it doesn't work out. It's the same with any internet relationship whether it be gay, bi or straight. The people when you meet them are often times a little different than you expect. Common sense, right?

3) Relax and let you8r heart guide you from here on in. Don't judge your sexuality by whether or not you are or aren't turned on by someone you see. Not everyone is attractive to everyone else...so if you don't find one man/woman attractive that's normal. I included this in case you've never seen each other but that's not so likely.

And remember what Shakepeare said about love in a Midsummer Night's Dream:

Love sees not with eyes, but with the mind...and thus is winged Cupid painted blind.

[littlerayofsunshine]

I just want to welcome you to this site. Its a great place and hope you will feel at home here as I do. Explore is the only advice I can give you. Everyone has their own journey with their own way of getting there. Glad you are here. Always love seeing more women joining the site. See ya around! Take care.

[AnotherVoice]

Thanks everyone. I always knew I was open-minded and I've had gay male friends in the past. I live in BC where gay couples and lesbians flock the streets of downtown. It's no secret here which makes things a lot easier for people to come out. Honestly though, I'm a bit surprised I'm even here. As I've said, I've met someone I'm really interested in .. online though .. and I don't want to scare her away with my eagerness. Not that I'm wanting to be sexual with her (right away) but to actually meet a lesbian who seems to reciprocate my feelings .. light heartedly. She's really the only person I've confided in (and you guys now). She's made my heart skip and even at that, I'm in disbelief. Sounds silly I'm sure. Afterall, I'm 30 years old! :D Thanks for the advice. I'll keep you posted. I want to give her my number tonight but don't want to push my luck. We'll see..

[Herbwoman39]

I just wanted to say "Welcome!" This is a fantastic, supportive bunch of folks here. You'll feel right at home in no time at all.

I'd like to add that I've only been out 18 months, myself, so I'm still pretty new to this aspect of myself too. Like others, I'm happily married and monogamous so I'll never have a same sex experience.

Just...don't jump into something that doesn't feel right. There is absolutely NO reason to push yourself. Take your time and find what *does* feel right.

Just my :2cents:

[AnotherVoice]

Are there any members here who've come out AFTER they had their child(ren)? How did you handle that?

[AnotherVoice]

Like others, I'm happily married and monogamous so I'll never have a same sex experience.

Would your husband be upset if you did? Why wouldn't you want to experience it? Does he know about your sexual orientation? Just curious, why would one choose to be monogamous?

[taz67156]

I just wanted to stop and say hello and welcome to the group plus hope you can enjoy your first time but don't rush anything.

taz67156

[Azrael]

All I can say is wilkommen and keep following your own path :cool:

[LalaLola]

Are there any members here who've come out AFTER they had their child(ren)? How did you handle that?

Yes, I did. Although my husband knew about my experiences with women before we married, I never really referred to myself openly as "bisexual." My closest friends know, but since I'm married and have no plans for that to change, it doesn't really matter that everyone I meet knows or not. It's not something I share with my kids because they're too young to understand (4 and 8).

I've only had one "girlfriend" since I've been married. She was someone I met online, as well.

Good luck - I hope things work out for you and your friend!

[Herbwoman39]

Would your husband be upset if you did? Why wouldn't you want to experience it? Does he know about your sexual orientation? Just curious, why would one choose to be monogamous?

Oh boy...this is going to be a long post, so brace yourselves.

My husband is well aware of my sexuality. He's my best supporter outside of this site. We talk regularly about our thoughts and concerns. Not just in respect to my bisexuality, but about my sons, our business, plans for the future; everything. We communicate pretty well.

We've discussed, multiple times, our thoughts and feelings about the possibility of me having a same-sex experience. He feels (and I agree) that it would be unfair to him for me to have a same sex experience by myself.

So, we've discussed a FFM threesome that only involves oral and manual stimulation. That is still a possibility. *However* the one person back in Atlanta we both may want to invite eventually is the head of our Pagan social activist group. We LOVE being active with them, so if anything were to go wrong and we were to break up with her, we'd have to leave the group.

Thus we would need to look outside our main social group for someone, which then begs the question "How do we find someone that both of us are comfortable with and like enough to sleep with?"

Even then, once we *do* find someone, my husband is concerned that he may develop deeper feelings for that person. The man has never had a one nighter and only had one sex-for-sex-sake relationship, WHICH he found "very unsatisfying".

You see, it's not that I don't *want* to experience it..I do. I REALLY do. It's that the grass on that side of the fence is the same shade of green as it is on this side. Matter of fact, the grass over there comes in much more complicated hues and patterns than it does over here.

Why would I choose monogamy? I've been married to this man for 8 years and known him for 15. I simply can't hurt the love of my life like that. I know that it would rip his heart out if I were to be unfaithful and I would lose everything that I have. I just can't do that. My life is SO wonderful. I simply can't justify jeopardising everything I have for a simple sexual act.

[prettycolors]

Hi, I have a similar story. I discovered I was bi when I was about 25 and already married to my husband -actually he discovered it while merging our computers and discovering I had lots of [semi-naked] girls pics on mine - I thought "it was normal, because women bodies are pretty" :rolleyes: hahaha. After that had my first and only time with an also bi-curious friend and it felt good. Since then no luck but my husband is very accepting and understanding. He is my best friend!

First post here - hi everybody!

::prettycolors::

[littlerayofsunshine]

Welcome Prettycolors !!

[Herbwoman39]

...I thought "it was normal, because women bodies are pretty" ...

LOL! I understand completely... That's the same reason I used to look through my Mom's National Geographic mags over and over again when I was young. The native women's bodies were so pretty :)

It's great that you have someone so supportive in your life.

[prettycolors]

Thank you :)

[AnotherVoice]

It's interesting because I find myself checking women out all the time and thought .. it's normal, everyone does it. LOL Ya, maybe not in the same respects. Thanks for sharing!

[AnotherVoice]

So I emailed her my number last night. We shall see what happens. I have a feeling she's not as interested. (sigh) LOL

[Diane54]

take your time.
I have not told my kids except my daughter who a few years ago said that she was bi. I Thank God I never condemned her for it as now I R 1.
I used 2 rationalise all my lesbian encounters so I would not be a bad person.
I said to one woman once that I had a hard time living my beliefs - they weren't mine. I realised I was bi 10 years ago but only recently did i accept it. Don, my husband/kinda said that since I got on this site that I have been really HORNY. I told him that when we our wrestling with our sexuality we have other things on our mind and don't really care about sex. NOW that I M comfortable with myself I can be comfortable with others.
:soapbox:

just take your time and the right one will be there when you are ready.

[AnotherVoice]

Well I ended up getting a lame email from her but no phone call. I don't think she will either. :( Dating sucks!

[innaminka]

Are there any members here who've come out AFTER they had their child(ren)? How did you handle that?

Welcome to the site:

I''m a mum of 2 - and I certainly came out after they were born. Thy're 12 and 15 (going on 35!! :( ) and i realised something was diffrerent about 10 years ago.
Since then I have acted on my growing bisexuality and came out to my husband and close friends (and sibling - oooh bad!!! :eek: ) about 6 years ago after I knew that I really was bi.
I have not come out to my kids yet, tho I'm pretty sure my eldest is wise to mum's predeliction.

If I have any advice, its be certain in yourself. The world is littered with people of both sexes who thought they were either gay or bi.
And when push came to shove - actually weren't!
Coming out is one of the most difficult decisions you'll ever have to do. It can cause mass confusion, heartache, loss of friendships, loss of self esteem - and that's only the start.
But believe me, we're better for it.

I wish you luck in life's trail of wonder. :bibounce:

[biandu]

welcome.

i am a mother of three ........and it can get quite hectic. i've known I was bi--since about 14.

if you ever want to talk drop me a line.

[AnotherVoice]

Thanks for the advice .. and yes, I'm still not sure at this point. A part of me thinks I am but I've never put myself in a position to test it out. I am disappointed that this lady I was hoping to meet - really isn't going to get anywhere. She would be the ideal type person I'd see myself dating .. if it came to that. It's hard finding locals in my area and the whole online thing, you get to discover a lot of trashy people real quick! So now I'm back to ground zero .. all in my head.

[deletetacount123]

I agree :-) Im on 3 dating sites.... but from time to time I get creepy responses from sickos lol but ever since I said i wasn't interested in people who just wanted sex, Ive been getting responses from more nicer people :-)
Still gotta be careful.

Tasha

[prettycolors]

I am really not sure about this meeting someone [a girl] thing. I always have my kids in tow or if I am alone, I would never ever fnd a way to hit on a woman so she will notice it. And how do you find out which ones are bi/les?? I don't even want to start about online dating, this freaks me out. So I am kinda getting used to the thought I will never practice ;) my bisexuality with another woman. Especially also because I have pretty high expectations - I am not looking for one night stands, want a friend first, am happily married, discreet and ... well... quite attractive and looking for the same.

Hard, hard life.

[AnotherVoice]

I am really not sure about this meeting someone [a girl] thing. I always have my kids in tow or if I am alone, I would never ever fnd a way to hit on a woman so she will notice it. And how do you find out which ones are bi/les?? I don't even want to start about online dating, this freaks me out. So I am kinda getting used to the thought I will never practice ;) my bisexuality with another woman. Especially also because I have pretty high expectations - I am not looking for one night stands, want a friend first, am happily married, discreet and ... well... quite attractive and looking for the same.

Hard, hard life.

Too bad you didn't live closer. ;) Best of luck to you .. and never say never. You just never know what's in store for you.

[prettycolors]

Thanx, looks like we have similar probs :)