Article: Questions to not ask bisexuals

[12voltyV2.0]

A good piece:

http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/8-things-not-ask-bisexuals?page=0%2C0

I hope that most on here who read this piece agree with most of the things the author talks about. I think the person hit the nail on the head.

[lookn4fun64]

I agree, read the site! It is exceptionally well done at really telling what life and human relationships are 'like' in the real world. We are all interested in individuals of the opposite and same sex. It is human nature. As volt states, read it.

[newlynymphos]

Makes sense, but adding "swinger" into the mix complicates that! Even then though, most of what's in that article even applies to us bi swingers :)

[WildColonial]

Excellent article. Thank you *very* much for sharing.

[void()]

I would add a good question to not ask.

Which gender do you prefer?

Couple this question with another.

Which sexual act do you most enjoy?

While at it I dislike another question asked, which beckons a "gee, here's your sign" look from me.

What you into, then? i.e. In context of sex & sexuality. "Well, duh I'm bisexual you fool, a natural born switch. I like it all. Um, thought that was patently fucking obvious!" I keep it really simple. "I enjoy pleasing and being pleased."

* And by all I mean stuff which does not fall under my instant NO list.

1. Necrophilia
2. Peadophilia
3. Beastality
4. Scat/Urine play
5. Non-consensual acts i.e. Forcible sex (unless agreed upon as fantasy, even then not sure I could)
6. I have a little resistence to bondage/enclosure (claustrophobia)
7. Unwarranted and too much pain ( a little 'rough play' to a point is okay for me but only if you're known and within reason, the pain is not the pleasure )

[Annika L]

Great article, Volty...I love that they add constructive questions *to* ask, along with the questions to avoid!

[Long Duck Dong]

I do not really have a issue with the questions..... I am more the type of person that will say, ask away, ask questions like that... but do not be a jerk about it and I will give you open and honest answers about why I do not have a lot of threesome ? I am not really all about sex, I enjoy a emotional and mental connection with people and it takes the right connection and timing for a threesome to happen ...

am I 50/50 ?... yeah and no... its fuild, but my attraction is not just to any male, any female, its the same as any person, I am attracted to some people more than others... but it generally balances out......

is it a stage of experimentation ?.... yes... I am forever experimenting and learning because I am constantly changing but its a pendulum effect.... I am not swinging from one side to the other.... but rocking like a boat with a center of gravity that is my attraction to both genders.....

am I sure that I am not just gay ? about as sure as I am not just hetero.....

since I want to marry somebody of the opposite gender, does that mean that I am turning straight ? no it means that I can marry a person of the opposite or same gender, just not one of each and at this stage, I have not found the partner of the same gender that I want to marry..... and when I do.... the fact that the law will not acknowledge it, means nothing to me..... because I acknowledge the partners I love and that is what matters more to me.....

how can I be attracted to a person of the same and opposite gender ? its the same way as a person can like KFC and mcdonalds... its a aspect of me that is stronger in same ways than the attraction levels of hetero and gay people... and because its not just about sex with me, its not like its a get laid at any cost, type of aspect... its about enjoying the company and companionship of the people around me and often their gender is not something that I am seeing....

I am bisexual, does that mean I am attracted to you ? no, it means that I can be attracted to you, but its your smile, your eyes, the way you talk and laugh, the way you are easy going and good to talk with, that attracts me to you... so do not change that because its the same qualities that attracted others to you, including your partner......

I would ask a heterosexual or a gay / lesbian person how they came to the understanding of what they were.... simply because each persons path to their own understanding can be as diverse as ours..... and not every body woke up as a pre teen / adolscent and said I am bisexual, gay, hetero, les etc.... some of us have taken a long time to find out who we are....

[newlynymphos]

Not just finding out who we are, but comfortable enough in our own skin to put it on display! I get far more positive reactions and comments when I wear my mini kilts in public :) Just recently added half shirts, and wedge heel sandals to it too :) Many compliments from the ladies, and the open minded guys give me props for "having the balls to wear what (I) want"!

[tenni]

hmm I could open the link the other day but not now? I scanned the article and the questions seemed obvious.
Other questions not to ask
"If you are bisexual does that mean that you are a cross dresser?"
Do all bisexual men want anal sex from other men?

[newlynymphos]

hmm I could open the link the other day but not now? I scanned the article and the questions seemed obvious.
Other questions not to ask
"If you are bisexual does that mean that you are a cross dresser?"
Do all bisexual men want anal sex from other men?

True. And what is defined as "crossdressing"? Wearing clothing marketed for women? Dressing as "passable"? Anything in between? I personally don't see myself generally as a cross dresser (except on rare occasions), any more than a woman sees herself as a "crossdresser" when she wears Waist high jeans, boots, and a t-shirt! I'm merely expanding my wardrobe choices :)

But, those are good questions :)

[tenni]

newly All of ypur comments and interest are better suited on its own thread. This thread os about what to not ask bisexuals. I dont think most people think to ask bisexuals about cross dressers. U seem to? Eben ur question suggest u see it as gender not sexual attraction.

[void()]

newly All of ypur comments and interest are
better suited on its own thread. This thread os about what to not ask
bisexuals. I dont think most people think to ask bisexuals about cross
dressers. U seem to? Eben ur question suggest u see it as gender not
sexual attraction.

Gender & gender roles, real, perceived do influence sexual attraction,
repulsion. You may suggest they do not. All you'll be doing is fibbing
to yourself.

And to perceive gender roles one observes fashion, such as a effeminate
male dressed up in female garments, or vise versa. Human beings are
subjective animals. We perceive sexuality in many ways.

We can see, hear, taste, smell, feel sexuality. I am explaining to you
because your response seems mechanical at best, robotic maybe. Not sure
if you are human or computer program. All I can see on the forum is your
written words as pixels rendered from electrons. I hope you're a human
being, but still the jury remains out. A response to newly as you posted
seems beckoning mechanical and lacking a basic grasp of humanity. Ergo,
I explain the basics.

I may be in error, if so I apologize. It is nothing new if I am in
error. Most humans make mistakes. This too stems from our subjective
natures. And this is what I am expressing, the fact, we're subjective
and subjective perceptions do influence our sexuality. That sexuality
can be homosexual.

And in homosexual I also refer to lesbian, because frankly to me a
lesbian is homosexual the same as a man who couples with another man is
homosexual. That sexuality may be heterosexual, or bisexual. It does not
matter the sexuality, subjective perceptions such as a guy wearing silky
pantyhose and a tight little mini-skirt, influence that sexuality. Kind
of one of those Captain Obvious things it seems to me. *shrugs*

[CurEUs_Male]

I would actually be OK with most of these questions. I'm different from the author, and I may well have a different answer than those laid out in the article. Open communication should allow for these questions *as long as they are asked respectfully*.

Do want to have orgies with both sexes? Yes I do. Will I? Probably not.
We didn't all experiment early in life/pre college graduation. Some of us didn't experiment, or even want to experiment until later in life.

I see a lot of these questions potentially important for those of us that married straight, and discovered or disclosed later in life. Unfortunately with the former, we may have to answer "I don't know" and we may never know until we do some experimentation, which negates the monogamy.

I would also point out that from my personal experiences, and those of others I have talked with, it may be a difficult choice to live with to commit to a single gender, monogamous relationship over the long haul. Suppression of one side of one's sexuality likely leads to suppression of sexuality on the whole, depression, anxiety, and a host of other behavioral issues. Simply it does not appear physically or psychologically healthy over time.

[newlynymphos]

newly All of ypur comments and interest are better suited on its own thread. This thread os about what to not ask bisexuals. I dont think most people think to ask bisexuals about cross dressers. U seem to? Eben ur question suggest u see it as gender not sexual attraction.

tenni, and ()void, you're both right. I was, however, responding to your own response tenni!