I'd email a lot more people on this list...

[Apleasureseeker]

If you had pix available! I know you may not want to put up your face (I wouldn't & I don't!!) but it's hard to imagine the person you're trying to talk to if you don't have a visual to go by. Even id it's just some art that reflects your personality, It would be a plus. Of course, if you are in my area, I'd like to see you in the flesh before I contact you about seeing you in the flesh...

[chook]

You cant judge a book by its cover pleasureseeker, and unfortunately a lot of people would.

Cheers
Chook

[chillddreamer]

Hey if you find the people interesting contact them and ask for picture it not a big deal really i don't have mine up because this a part of my life that I am just beginning to understand and I don't need added preassure of some one who knows me. Just happen on it with out me telling them first :cool:

[Tigerstarlight]

you have a point.

Ive just put a photo on mine. but i have a link to face party for anyone to see me!!

[mike9753]

Faces are the most interesting aspect of a person. But a great sets of boobs, a trim pussy, an erect, trim cock with a tight set of balls are very attractive and arousing. I'd love to see more pix here - if only to spruce up the environment with some wonderful flesh. I am also partial to a long pair of legs, encased in dark nylon, capped by twin globs of a firm, rounded ass.

[Apleasureseeker]

Hey if you find the people interesting contact them and ask for picture it not a big deal really i don't have mine up because this a part of my life that I am just beginning to understand and I don't need added preassure of some one who knows me. Just happen on it with out me telling them first :cool:

I wouldn't put my face up, and I'm always surprised about people who do. But the thing is that any sort of a graphic image is an eye-catcher, and if there isn't a pic, there's not much reason to go any further. The personal descriptions tend to be too brief to tell anything about a person, and I'm not specifically looking to meet anyone, just kinda browsing. If sometihng catches my eye, I'll stop, but I don't have time to read all the profiles. Besides, from my experience with other personals sites, profiles without pix are usually set up to collect email addresses, or phonies set up by people who just want to collect pix & email.
As for myself, I love the little exhibitionistic thill of strangers looking at my skin, whether or not they email me. ;)

[chillddreamer]

I see your point. As I said I believe I valid point as well. But I will give it some thought thank you :cool:

[wellred]

Thank you for posting this interesting question.

On the one hand, photos add a dimension to this site. Some are delightful, some are erotic and some may be neither...but judgement is in the eye of the beholder. Then again, at least some of us cannot/will not openly display ourselves to the world because of many considerations that impose upon us and the roles we play in our lives.

One of the benefits of this format for me is that I can converse with people without the usual trappings that often distract from finding their soul. Some of my most heartfelt moments on this site have been with people that share their inner-most feelings, without the guise of everyday life. Perhaps, blind people do, indeed, hear better than those with the ability to see. Possibly, vision comes when we are in the darkness.

A far wiser person than me once said that our bodies are the costumes that are souls wear in this life. Maybe we should focus on nourishing our souls.

To be seen or not is open for further debate, likely without compromise.

- Red

[gayle]

Well, I understand that some people want to see pics. That's fine. But I also now that some of the people who view the pictures are jerks!!! I posted what I thought was a very nice picture of myself (from the neck down) dressed up for New Year's Eve in a sequined jacket, black slacks, purple high heels and hose --- and some JERK e-mailed me to ask if the picture was of me or of my bf! It was very insulting to me. It's the only "jerk experience" I have had at this site, but it was enough to leave a sour taste in my mouth. I definitely am reluctant to post a picture now and then risk having another jerk contact me based on the picture.
I do like Red's perspective on this. People at this site are getting to know me based on what I have written in the forums and on what I say when I am in the chat rooms. You know my deepest thoughts on a variety of subjects. You know my likes and dislikes. You very likely know me better than many of my friends who have seen my face. What I say in the forums and in chat are a far better indicator of who I am than any personal ad or photograph ever could be.
I am also very reluctant to post a pic of my face or that of my bf on this site. For one thing, I, like so many others here, would be negatively judged by some people if they knew that I were active in the bi/gay/lesbian communities, and if they knew about some of my sexual experiences I would likely be totally ostracized. I won't post a picture of my bf bc that would effectively "out" him when he doesn't want to be outed. It is his decision whether or not to be "out" to people and I'm not going to force him to be out. He knows that I post on this site, although I don't think he realizes just how active I am here. I think he'd probably even be embarrassed if he realized exactly how honest I am here. He'd say I'm sharing "too much information." So I keep my face to myself.
If I could have some reasonable assurance that I wouldn't have to deal with another jerk in the future, I would reconsider posting a picture. In the meanwhile, if I have been chatting with someone for awhile, I am usually OK with sending them a pic via e-mail. In the meanwhile, I hope you like my graphic of the pink-faced girl. Pink and purple are my favorite colors. :2cents: :grouphug:

[Apleasureseeker]

If I could have some reasonable assurance that I wouldn't have to deal with another jerk in the future, I would reconsider posting a picture. In the meanwhile, if I have been chatting with someone for awhile, I am usually OK with sending them a pic via e-mail. In the meanwhile, I hope you like my graphic of the pink-faced girl. Pink and purple are my favorite colors. :2cents: :grouphug:

Exactly what I was getting at! The pink-face gal is perfect! It doesn't have to be a real pic at all, just a representation. I guess I may be more visual than some other people. Still a pic is worth a thousand words, as they say. As for the jerk, don't let him get to you. Just report him to the moderator. In real life we all have to deal with jerks anyway--his opinion counts for nothing. Personally, I saw your old pic & I liked it.

[rupertbare]

As ever Red puts his argument so eloquently - and Gayle points out one of the downfalls (e-mails from jerks). I initially posted a profile without a picture until chatting to a girl in the US who bemoaned the fact that it was mainly the woman on the site placing photographs - especially of faces. She felt that this made her feel somewhat vulnerable. As a reaction to her comments I posted a "face" photograph - however slightly disguised by wearing sunglasses and later a couple of cartoon illustrations of my site "name", one off which I have now taken down in case it offended. One's major concern about posting a facial photograph is, obviously, one of identity. I came to the conclusion that most people visiting the site were either bi or bi-friendly and therfore one was "safe" - however I did stop people being able to directly e-mail me after a couple of slightly "odd" people contacted me - although I have now restored this. So I'm both a photograph (dressed l.o.l. - so many of you seem to have lost your clothes!!) and a cartoon character - I leave it to you to decide who you think about if we find ourselves chatting. I personally like profiles that feature some form of visual content - face or illustration - but that's just my way - not bothered about the nude/aroused stuff as that rarely says much about the actual "soul" of the person.

May I add that I have not been contacted very often and if you read the profile and want to just say "hi" or talk about music or photography please feel free - I don't feel the need to meet for sex with everyone that mails!! (Although some people are under that impression!! l.o.l). I'm more than happy to then send back another couple of pic.s by return if required.

Love to you all, Rupe. XX

[rupertbare]

Think I must be a little bonkers today - last posting can't now be edited so here goes a clearer message (I hope)

The point I was so badly attempting to make was that a picture attached to a profile can be both useful and revealing - a seascape photograph can "say" more about you, maybe, than a face or nude. It can be an illustration but, at least for those of us who enjoy visual input in life, it gives us something to focus on and think about.

Secondly, regarding "jerks" and "odd" e-mails - I think it boils down to "The rough with the smooth". I have realised that I can reply, politely, to any mails that I receive and don't like by using the "Private Message" facility thus avoiding revealing my own mail address (although why it took me so long to suss that one out is anyone's guess!).

I look forward to seeing more images from you all!!

Rupe

[chook]

whats in a photo???????

Just for the record i've been coming to this sight for over three years now and there is one lady in particular that i have spoken with since day one and just through talking and chatting i have come to realise that she is one hell of a nice lady very friendly and considerate and also very compassionate when need be...............and NO we have never cybered.

Now to be honest with the whole lot of you guys i couldnt care if this lady had a hair lip and a clubbed foot and a hunched back (i have never seen a pic of her) i would always class her as a close friend....its whats inside that counts in my books and thats what i was trying to say in my first post.

Thanks for letting me put in my :2cents:
Cheers Chook :)

[Just_Wondering]

touche' Chook!
Nicely put.

[Mayalaen]

I dunno about the rest of y'all but I don't want to run the risk of somebody from RL finding my pic on here and recognizing. Although what they were doing here in the first place I don't know but all the same don't want to risk it.

[gayle]

Thanks for the kind comments about my "pink girl" graphic. I wanted something that showed something about me. This picture signals my love of the color pink and that I am female. As for the inconsiderate person who e-mailed me to ask if the photo I had posted on this site was of me or of my bf, I just deleted the e-mail and did not respond at all to them. I felt they were so insufferably rude that they did not warrant receiving a reply. I grant that writing a very rude reply to them was tempting, but I decided that I didn't want to stoop to that level. I might be happy to take topics "into the gutter" in the chat room, mostly for grins and giggles, but I don't want to be deliberately rude to anyone.
I may reconsider later and post a picture of myself on the site. It's unlikely that I'll post a picture of myself with my bf as he seems quite determined to remain in the closet (only "out" to me) and I am willing to respect his desire to remain closeted. He'd probably have a fit if he knew how often I write about him on this site --- but on the bright side, at least I'm not telling everyone his name, address, phone number and the like. Of course, he just might make a few new friends if I did that. Just kidding! :tongue:

[rupertbare]

Gayle, I just LOVE the "Pink Lady" illustration - and I'll always think of you thus.

Chook - I agree that it doesn't matter how some-one looks in reality - but this is cyber-space and, as I pointed out, our brains operate on different levels - for some a visual input is of importance albeit not crucial. As I said a seascape as the profile picture or attached to the profile could "say" a lot more about some-one than a "real face" or nude photograph.

As a response to this thread I have posted a couple more illustrations of Rupert Bear - my alter-ego!! I still believe that some form of illustration is a nice addition to a profile - and a lot of people post no profile info. anyway. I do understand the reluctance of many to posting photo.s which feature their face. And, of course, it must be noted that my "real" name is not Rupert!!

As ever, Peace and Love to all

Rupe XXX

[Domen8UrAss]

Well, I understand that some people want to see pics. That's fine. But I also now that some of the people who view the pictures are jerks!!! I posted what I thought was a very nice picture of myself (from the neck down) dressed up for New Year's Eve in a sequined jacket, black slacks, purple high heels and hose --- and some JERK e-mailed me to ask if the picture was of me or of my bf! -- If I could have some reasonable assurance that I wouldn't have to deal with another jerk in the future, I would reconsider posting a picture. In the meanwhile, if I have been chatting with someone for awhile, I am usually OK with sending them a pic via e-mail.

Gayle--
I think your being naive ,,and yet too judgmental
Because of one- soo said "jerk" !!!
You decided to let that "jerk" << Run your life-- to NOT post a pic

Yet-- How many times have you been driving down the street in your car-- and :eek: WHoooosh !! a "jerk" pulled out in front of you-- Cut you off??

Did you sell your car? :(
Give up driving for life? :eek:


{shaking head}
I think Not :cool:

[BiShadoman]

Gayle, I see that you've posted a pic with your face on it, do you realize that (unintentionally or intentionally) you have effectually outed your boyfriend to anyone who comes upon this site who knows the two of you?

[gayle]

Bishadowman,
I'm not too worried about outing my bf by posting my picture on this site. I figure if someone who knows both of us is visiting their site, in all likelihood, they are bi! He's not worried about outing himself in that case. I guess I can't win. If I post a picture, someone is going to point out (as you did) that my picture "outs" my bf, but if I don't post one, I get told I'm allowing one jerk to rule my life. So how do I win? You'll notice I didn't post my bf's picture. I think I'll just go ahead and ask him if I can post a pic of us together. He's already considering us posting a pic at another site where he is also identified as being bi. Personally, I'd be thrilled if he'd start coming out to at least a few of our friends. Oh, a BIG reason I am not going to stress myself now about potentially outing him to someone we know --- he has already been outed to part of my family. We were to meet another swinger couple, had not exchanged pics because this was a last-minute deal, and when we got together to meet (at a bar) --- discovered the couple was my cousin & his wife! Anyhow, I figure they can't tell anyone without revealing that they are also swingers. . .

But now --- to those who have encouraged me to go ahead and post a picture with my face on it --- I did! I hope you enjoy it. Don't know how long it will be up, but if I decide to take it down, I'll put up something else.

[BiShadoman]

Are you really that naive? Do you really think that the only people that browse thru this site are all bisexuals? I know for a fact that some people go thru sites like this just to see if they can cause problems for others. A teacher friend of mine and her husband both lost their jobs and were more or less run out of the small town that they lived in when they posted identifying pics on a similar site. You are either really naive or really cold and don't give a sh*# about the consequences of your actions on someone that you supposedly care about!

[rupertbare]

WELL DONE GAYLE!!! What a lovely photograph!! I still think that it is brave of folk to post pictures of their face - especially when, like yourself and myself, they have a partner (either a boyfriend or husband/wife). It's a very sad fact that there are others who "trawl" through sites like this just to cause pain - spreading hate and homophobia - because, let's face it, if you enjoy sex with a member of the same sex, even if one would describe one's self as a bisexual, that is enjoyment of a "homo"-sexual act. I can only assume that people who do such things are either un-sure of their own sexuality or just plain nasty humans with nothing better to do. Living in small communities and being "different" has always been difficult and one risks being ostracised or worse. But are these reasons enough NOT to post a photograph or OTHER visual image. The "Pink Lady" is not going to let anyone know who they are, unless that is an image they use in "real" life and therefore know to other people. As somebody has already suggested, it could be an easier solution for many of us to only exchange photographs after a period of time and e-mail "getting to know one other".

I hope you've all enjoyed the new "Bear" illustrations!!

Love and peace
Rupe.

[DÆMØN]

On pic posting: and do note I'm one of the many cultural Deafies one sees from time to time in groups, pairs or triads with the windmilling talking hands: deafies being a subculture its own also carries risks just as much as it is for hearies, movers & shakers ; legitimizers; and various other sensitive types of cultures and occupations where a backlash could possibly harm ones real life standing where one might be faced with a personal crisis that could be disasterous in so many possible ways. Treading carefully is a wise common sense approach. News travels fast, especially nowadays in this age of technological leaps and bounds caution for ones personal information is not ammiss.

Visuals are fantastic indicators; illustrations, facial pics et al of what one may or may not be. For some boosts to the deflated and sometimes frustrated self esteem or bruised and battered ego's. For others a painted target. Its all a matter of perspective. I say do as you will you have free choice, consequences of your decisions ultimately will affect you and others around you like it or not so yes exercise caution where warranted.

For myself: I don't fear posting a pic or being requested for one perhaps an anonymous gallery for posters can be set up someplace where one could right click , copy link location and post a link to their particular pic in chat for instance; someplace thats fluid and not all too permanent for some this might work. Or perhaps even a temporary facial pic on chat profile where you have some sort of control and would be able to 'flash" your pic with a press of a button in PM while using an avatar of somekind here on the forums.

I for one WILL be posting my pic on profile eventually, I'd like to get to know the site & theregulars a bit more personally myself before I do. I'm very much impressed with the overall intellectual level thus far and I am no rank forum noob, I've seen it all in so many other places including forums of my own as an administrator/moderator so as far as I'm concerned keep yer eyes peeled peeps its just a matter of time :tongue: ! wØØt !

[SweetAmy]

Id dont really care what a person looks like I just like to see who I am talking to b/c I have pictures up so why shouldnt I be able to see theirs...fair is fair ;) ;) ;)

[ThrillMe]

To be honest, I won't even bother speaking to anyone who hasn't at least added *something* to their profile. Photos are not necessary as much as a little text.

If you're here for a reason, then let us know about you at least a *little*. We shouldn't have to put up with "ASL?" as the first query because it should be there, visible to us.

Not putting something in the profile shows that you're not here "for the long run".

That's my :2cents:

Now, back to ... whatever.

[Bilookin]

I tend to agree that a pic would be helpfull but even more helpfull would be a profile. Why bother being on a site such as this without something about yourself. When you look and all it says is a country, if that much, what good does it do to be here. Just what are those folks looking for?

Give a fellow Bi person an opportunity to see what you are about.
PLEASE!!!!!
:male: :rolleyes:

[SweetAmy]

I agree 100% with Thrill and Bi --- a lack of a profile is a no no too me. I am always looking to add stuff about me changing my profile every few days. I hate asking someone 20 questions to find out what they are like. I like to read and learn and see what I am getting into hehehehe

But those are just my thoughts :female:


I tend to agree that a pic would be helpfull but even more helpfull would be a profile. Why bother being on a site such as this without something about yourself. When you look and all it says is a country, if that much, what good does it do to be here. Just what are those folks looking for?

Give a fellow Bi person an opportunity to see what you are about.
PLEASE!!!!!
:male: :rolleyes:

[clubber]

Personally, I believe that for those who chose not to post a pic with their profile is fine and they do it for their own reasons. Once you have the opportunity to converse with other ppl "one on one" and get a little more comfortable with them, that might be the time to exchange pics.

[arana]

One of the most annoying things is when you DO have a profile and you're constantly asked a/s/l .. what was the point of doing one?

[SweetAmy]

I somewhat agree...yes. But you have to remember alot of people do read profiles. I love reading profiles.

[m.in.heels&hose]

i too like and enjoy reading peoples profiles, so i can learn more about this operson, and i wont have to play the 20 questions game, and i dont do the a/s/l/ thing, but i have to agree with arana, when people are either too eager to read someones profile, or just dont want to be bothered with reading profiles, then it really does seem pointless, but i have one for other reasons too!
hugs and more hugs
m.in.heels&hose :flag3:

[trip1]

Hi: I'd like to see more people filling in the profile info. A pic or pic's would be nice but give us some info on your likes and dislikes and what your looking for..... Trip1

[rupertbare]

This is an interesting thread, inasmuchas most of those putting up a posting have both a profile and a picture.

However, there appears to be a built in danger - that of people giving out information/pictures to third parties without permission (see seperate Thread entitled "Members Photographs").

Although I remain rather worried about this I have not (at least not as yet) removed my profile or photo.s alongside it.

I'd be interested in any advice folks have regarding this and my own decision to keep pictures with face up (although wearing sunglasses - so there is a certain degree of anonymity)

I still feel very strongly that some sort of visual image AND profile is both useful and FUN!!

Love from UK

Rupe

[Brian]

One of the most annoying things is when you DO have a profile and you're constantly asked a/s/l .. what was the point of doing one? Especially since the profiles are now easily accessible from the chatroom by clicking on the chatter's name. Maybe I can make that more clear somehow - I'll give it some thought.

- Drew :paw:

[SweetBlackAngel]

When I came to this board, I was looking for a bi community to chat with. It took me a while before I realized that some folks were looking for a hook-up. I hadn't really given much thought to putting up a profile or picture. It may be time to re-think that. ;)

[Fresia]

Bump it up!