How lucky have you been?

[ayoungguy]

It's my dream to meet a bisexual girlfriend or at least one that finds it cool that I enjoy having fun with men...

i havent come come out to anybody mostly because at my young age I feel insecure... But how did your gfs found out you liked men? Accident? You told them?

[Realist]

For most of my life, I have hidden the fact that I was bisexual. Unlike you, I never thought I'd find a girlfriend, who was also bisexual, or would a straight one who would accept my bisexuality.

You're on the right track, know what you want and understand what you need to fulfill your life.

It was late in life, when I decided to be open and honest with any potential partner. However, once I committed to reveal myself, I met the most wonderful bisexual lady, who has always wanted the same things. Just think how changed my life would have been, if I'd understood and accepted myself at an early age, as you do!

And, like I always say, Don't settle for less than you want, or you will never be happy!

Good luck and be safe!

[Hypersexual11]

As with Realist, I hid my desires for most of my life, then started seeing guys behind my wife's back for more years before she found out. It turned out fine as she was not only OK with my desires but more than willing to jump in with me. So I have been very lucky. Really though, I never saw it going like this. I assumed admitting this was also ending my relationship. It's a very tough thing to bring up on many levels.
My advise to you since you are young is to not hide this from girlfriends. Sexual variation is way more accepted now than it was when Realist and I were your age. We literally could be killed for coming out. Now, not so much. The worse thing you can do is go into a relationship with this hidden. You obviously have a strong desire. It's very difficult for some to stay monogamous with these desires needing to be explored.
Usually, once you get a woman to become sexual, you will find that overall they are MUCH more sexual than we are believe it or not, and they are MUCH more open minded about a lot of things like bisexuality. If you can bring this up early in the sexual exploration period of a relationship, you have a better chance. Good luck!

[Annika L]

Don't settle for less than you want, or you will never be happy!

Hi Realist,

I so often wholeheartedly agree with what you say...but as a general piece of advice, I would urge caution with this one.

I need to be clear that this is directed at the words I've quoted here, and not at the OP and his goals, which I find perfectly reasonable (I certainly think finding a bisexual gf isn't asking too much...the other goal may be trickier, depending on what exactly you mean by "finds it cool that I enjoy having fun with men"...that's pretty vague and smacks of codespeak).

Anyway, my caution about not settling for less than you want is that if what you want is unreasonable or unattainable, then not settling for less sounds exactly like a recipe for never being happy. Life is a series of ambiguities, trade-offs, and compromises, and is often not amenable to straightforward pursuit. If I'd insisted on exactly what I wanted when I was younger, I almost certainly (for reasons that deal partly with her and partly with me) never would have ended up with my partner, who makes me *exceedingly* happy! Is she *now* exactly what I want? Well, not exactly; not in every possible way. But she's really damned close. I hope I'm the same for her. And one of things I love is that we both care about each other to continue to try to be more of what we both want.

Now I *would* say that you should never commit to or put up with a person or situation that makes you *unhappy*. And if you have *reservations* about a person (or they have reservations about you), you should not make rash moves with respect to them...move slowly and carefully. Don't assume you'll be able to change them: you won't. Better to move on.

But if somebody falls short of exactly what you're looking for but has worthwhile trade-offs, they could well be worth an experiment at least! And if you find a person who meets 90% (or fill in your own threshold percentage) of your needs, don't throw that away to find someone who has all that *and* the extra 10%! Rather, you might consider realistically whether *any* one person can fulfill *all* of your (or anyone's, really) needs indefinitely (especially since we and our needs continue to change and develop throughout our lives).

Now I don't mean to dump on your favorite piece of advice...and I realize we may be more in agreement than I'm acknowledging here, once you get past the semantics. I just think these are notions worth pondering in any consideration of life goals, life partners, etc.

[darkeyes]

It is luffly to want our dreams and desires met.. whether it is wise is another issue.. sometimes, but not always. Do we reject love because a person is not all we would wish of them? We do not chose who to love... thèrè are other forces at work than mere personal choice. Sometimes people reject the person they love because they do not match all the criteria desired of them.. and many come to regret it... finding the person who meets all our dreams is a far more complex thing than refusing to accept anything less may infer....:)

[Realist]

As an old friend used to say, "I guess I should have been more PACIFIC!! I agree with Hyper and Annika...and, as much as I hate to admit it, Fran, too! (IN PART)

But, after having three failed marriages, it finally dawned on me that I needed to change my method of choosing a mate! (I know, I'm an extremely slow learner)

You might argue that ayoungguy is too young to really know what he wants, but he seems much more focused on his goals than I was at his age.

I think some of my problems were derived from me settling for women who would please my mother, rather than me. I always wanted to be married. ( a female cousin and I announced our engagement at 12.....that didn't go over well!) By the time I was 16, I'd known both genders, who I would have been satisfied with, but they would not have suited Mom! She most certainly would have imploded upon learning I'd chosen a male partner! Oh how I now understand that I should have chosen for me and no one else!

So, regarding my lack of success, I probably should never give anyone any advice!

However, even this late in life, I met and am now living an idyllic life, with the most sensuous and loving woman I've ever known. And, I only met her after turning over a new leaf by developing a new openness, honesty, and a refusal to settle again. She is the epitome of my dream girl! Maybe all the turmoil of the past was worth it, because I finally did arrive at the best time of my life.

My GF wants to have a female lover someday, which is fine with me. She's OK with me having a male lover, too; even though I think that part of my life is over. Neither of us have met anyone we'd want to develop a relationship with, so far, but if it happens, it happens.

As a side note: Neither she, nor I are jealous, which is a great way to conduct a relationship. So, I'd advise anyone, if they have feelings of jealousy, maybe remaining single would be a better choice.

Nuff said..

[lookn4fun64]

beautifully written comments, and all very realistic for all of us here to follow

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Never say Never, Real..:} Hugs to you Sweetie. And for the OP. You are still young and havent discover YourSelf yet..give it time, you will..:}
Cat.

[HenryDaniel]

I have been super lucky with my wife. She will swing with me and another man or does not mind if I see a man alone. She and I have shared sucking a cock. She likes to watch men cum in my mouth. I like to get under her while she is on all 4s , the man mounting her dog style. Theis way I can watch his cock go in and out , lick his balls. When he cums , I like to suck his cock clean and then while wife is sucking me , I clean her pussy of cum. I also get together with a group of married men , there are 10 of us. She knows and is OK with it.