What is Normal for Bisexuals?

[tenni]

Just what do you believe falls within the norm for bisexuals?

Is sexual fluidity normal for bisexuals to experience? (i.e. Today I think men are hot and I don't care for women that much but last month all that I could think about was women and not men)

Is it normal for bisexuals to move from being only sexually attracted to same sex people to being sexually and emotionally attracted to same genders the longer that the person is aware of and accepting of their bisexuality?

Is anal sex normal and used by most bisexual men over other sexual acts? …i.e. Do most bisexual men get fucked with every sexual same sex encounter? (or just talked about more on this site than most bisexual men practise in their real daily bisexual life?)

Is it the norm for bisexuals not to believe in labelling sexualities? (particularly other people's sexuality)

Is it more the norm for bisexuals to tend to be more wishy washy on sexual issues and tolerate more than monosexuals?

[fredtyg]

Just replying to one question for now: Just from what I've read online, most guys seem to prefer oral sex to anal if one is preferred over the other. Not by a large margin. I've just seen more guys comment about, and advertise, for oral than anal. Just a casual observation and not something I've paid close attention to.

[Bigerman]

There arent any ASTM or UL norms for sexual behavior. So I would suggest to use the word "common". Bisexual behavior is based on fluidity. The temporary tendencies to the own or to the other gender depend on the actual reality which is influenced by everything in an individuals environment. Sexual and emotional attraction are also fluid. One can lead to the other and this seems to be common. Anal intercourse is a question of taste and only works if both fully agree. The anus is not constucted for penetation by nature. Oral intercourse is much more easier to perform. This may lead to the fact that oral intercourse is common and anal intercourse less common. Labelling not only sexual behaviour but almost eveything is common. It is necessary for orientation. To be "more wishy washy" on sexual issues is in my view not common for bisexuals. To be wishy washy is concerned to the individual and not to a group. Same with tolerance.

[elian]

Is sexual fluidity normal for bisexuals to experience? (i.e. Today I think men are hot and I don't care for women that much but last month all that I could think about was women and not men)


I like both men and women, but I have to work harder to fall in love with women, I get nervous around them for some reason. Whereas men are the ones I lust over by default. There ARE certain women I'm really attracted to, but I can't put a finger on any one attribute. The last woman I really liked was older, more dominate and could listen like you were the only person in the room..I really liked her a lot.

It's actually easier for me to get aroused watching women, but I'm emotionally attached to men.. if I insist on putting a label on it, it starts seeming a little neurotic..then again I sometimes have a tendency to over-think things rather than just let what happens, happen.


Is it normal for bisexuals to move from being only sexually attracted to same sex people to being sexually and emotionally attracted to same genders the longer that the person is aware of and accepting of their bisexuality?


I'm not sure the level of attraction is related to comfort in self identifying as bisexual..I've always known I've had desire to love and been fixated on sex - my comfort came in accepting me for who I was rather than listening to others who told me I was weak. I also gained comfort by broadening my perspective hearing other people tell their own stories about being bi. My acceptance does not come from the label itself.


Is anal sex normal and used by most bisexual men over other sexual acts? …i.e. Do most bisexual men get fucked with every sexual same sex encounter? (or just talked about more on this site than most bisexual men practise in their real daily bisexual life?)


I find anal sex is a lot of physical work and somewhat painful - although I wouldn't write it off completely I think it only really works for me if I'm already really aroused, have the stamina and trust/want the person I am with. There are a lot less risky behaviors that are still a lot of fun especially with folks you don't know well.


Is it the norm for bisexuals not to believe in labelling sexualities? (particularly other people's sexuality)


A label can be useful in some ways, when you are trying to figure out the core of your identity it might be helpful but it carries all sorts of connotations. Even heterosexual people really don't want to be labelled because when you put a label on something you put it in a box. I don't care if you label me, as long as you don't judge me before you know who I really am. Sadly getting rid of labels entirely is not going to happen - the human mind is hard wired to categorize and judge things..that is fundamental basis of a how a neural network works.


Is it more the norm for bisexuals to tend to be more wishy washy on sexual issues and tolerate more than monosexuals?

I sometimes try to imagine things from other perspectives because I know what it's like to be judged harshly for something you were innately born with.

[jem_is_bi]

Just replying to one question for now: Just from what I've read online, most guys seem to prefer oral sex to anal if one is preferred over the other. Not by a large margin. I've just seen more guys comment about, and advertise, for oral than anal. Just a casual observation and not something I've paid close attention to. I have noticed that seems to be true. I am definitely NOT excited about anal sex. I had more interest in females in my youth when the possibility of having children of my own was a possibility. Otherwise, (and even then) I have been very much more homosexually oriented. But, at the same time, I just can't stop loving women, even though I would be less conflicted if that would happen.

[steve10557]

I'm just so frackin' fluid!

[Realist]

Is it normal for bisexuals to move from being only sexually attracted to same sex people to being sexually and emotionally attracted to same genders the longer that the person is aware of and accepting of their bisexuality?

As one motivated by familiarity and emotional connections, I am more prone to being drawn to either gender, because of personalities and mutual interests....my first attractions are rarely purely sexual in the beginning. Their gender is not that important to me. My very first same gender involvement was at 8, so I've been at it a long time and don't think I was ever motivated by sex alone. During this time, I have been attracted to both in varying degrees. In my case, I have had more platonic relationships with women, than with men. It's something to think about!

Is anal sex normal and used by most bisexual men over other sexual acts? …i.e. Do most bisexual men get fucked with every sexual same sex encounter? (or just talked about more on this site than most bisexual men practise in their real daily bisexual life?)

I'm not sure about others, but I have only been interested in receiving anal sex from two male lovers, who were many years apart. Only when they indicated they were desirous of fucking me, and because they were both loved deeply, I agreed to receive them. I have been with more men who were into receiving, than entering me. I've never developed a craving for anal bottoming, but did enjoy the experience with those two. It helped that they were both had thin penises....one short and thin, one long and thin..

Is it the norm for bisexuals not to believe in labelling sexualities? (particularly other people's sexuality)

Hmm, labels don't bug me, I know who I am and that's my only concern. I'm OK with being bisexual and know there's millions of variations of being bi. Like Elian, I don't appreciate anyone, who doesn't know me, putting a label on me.

Is it more the norm for bisexuals to tend to be more wishy washy on sexual issues and tolerate more than monosexuals?

Again, I can only speak for me. I've been fairly constant in my interest in women, but have been all over the spectrum of Kinsey's chart, regarding my attractions for males. I can't ever remember being totally devoid of attractions for males, though.

Good questions, Tenni...... food for more thought. Interesting responses, too.

[CamStar94]

I agree with your post. Mine fluctuates. Today for example, I woke up with an erection dreaming about a threesome with a man and a woman and had fun with that. At night I often go to bed thinking of both, but sometimes one or the other. I also notice I can have fun with thoughts of a male and finish to those of a woman, and vice versa. However, like you stated in your original post, it is sometimes just one or the other. For about a week I didn't feel any arousal at all toward men and thought of only women. Today I'm feeling both, maybe tomorrow the same or it'll be different. Who knows! Part of the headache of being a bisexual lol, as well as part of the fun.

[tenni]

Thanks for the comments so far.
I would like to clarify.


Is sexual fluidity normal for bisexuals to experience?
The bracketed section gave the extreme shift but of course fluidity includes equal attraction at the same time. I had recently read the ideas of (younger) bimen who were confused by how extreme the shift could be. For some young biguys it could shift sharply nearly hourly in one extreme case. Others stated that daily and weekly they felt a shift of attraction.


Is it the norm for bisexuals not to believe in labelling sexualities?
Responses so far are in line with my intent but a simplier form of the question might be.
Do you believe that we(society) should not be concerned about labels like gay, bisxual, bi curious etc.?

Thanks Realist. :)