Pressure to be in favour of "gay" adoption

[Avocado]

The reason I put gay in quotes will be well-known to most bi people on here: being in a same-sex couple and adopting doesn't make someone gay.

I'm under the impression that in both the gay and bi communities there is alot of pressure to be in favour of gay adoption. Why is this? Are people not entitled to their own opinions? Is it that different from the pressure women in the feminist movement were in to be man haters?

Personally I'm in favour of gay adoption but only under a different set of circumstances. My belief is that the law isn't ready. There is still inequality with straight and gay marriage/partnership (where it exists!) what schools are and aren't allowed to teach depends on sexuality, as does what some libraries (and even cartoons!) in America are allowed to show/stock. While the library and cartoon bit doesn't apply to England, the rest does.

The law is telling schoolkids that queers are not normal, that they are second-tier citizens. What effect do you think this will have in how kids adopted by same-sex couples are treated in the playground and in the streets after school?

What I want is for the above to change, and then, only then, for same-sex adoption to be legalised.

I don't have a problem with people being in favour of queer adoption or even doing it, vut what I do have a problem with is people effectively being told what they are or aren't allowed to think.

[12voltman59]

I don't know if I really understand your point---

to me--it should not really matter whether the person seeking to adopt is gay, bisexual or str8 or whatever--as is the case now--prospective adoptive parents should be screened for things like past criminal history, history of violence and the like and they should meet a minimum degree of financial qualifications...

beyond those basic things--it should not matter one whit what one's sexual orientation is or isn't

as I have said in a previous post----here in the states there is a nascient move in some places that would prohibit anyone who is not totally straight from adopting a child or being granted any form of parental or other rights regarding children---to the extreme end of this--some have even suggested that if a person is "found" to be gay or whatever (not a good straight person)--they should have their parental rights automatically rescinded irrespective of any other issue regarding the treatment of that child and/or children--by their reckoning-- a person could be a loving, responsible parent doing all the right things and have never done any harm to their children--their rights and acess to their own children should be eliminated simply because they are not straight--that makes them a danger to the precious, vulnerable children...

Of course, none of this would not offer any protection to the children born to "straight" pedophiles who do have families solely for the purpose of using their own offspring and those of others as sex toys....

At present--this is merely one of those things that a small group of extremists are dreaming about---it would take a major change in American law to put such a radical and far reaching edict into effect---something that even the most idiotic politicians would have to think twice about before actually proposing and attempting to enact legislative action to this end...

It's just part and parcel of the crazy right's cultural war.....

[jedinudist]

The reason I put gay in quotes will be well-known to most bi people on here: being in a same-sex couple and adopting doesn't make someone gay.

I'm under the impression that in both the gay and bi communities there is alot of pressure to be in favour of gay adoption. Why is this? Are people not entitled to their own opinions? Is it that different from the pressure women in the feminist movement were in to be man haters?

Personally I'm in favour of gay adoption but only under a different set of circumstances. My belief is that the law isn't ready. There is still inequality with straight and gay marriage/partnership (where it exists!) what schools are and aren't allowed to teach depends on sexuality, as does what some libraries (and even cartoons!) in America are allowed to show/stock. While the library and cartoon bit doesn't apply to England, the rest does.

The law is telling schoolkids that queers are not normal, that they are second-tier citizens. What effect do you think this will have in how kids adopted by same-sex couples are treated in the playground and in the streets after school?

What I want is for the above to change, and then, only then, for same-sex adoption to be legalised.

I don't have a problem with people being in favour of queer adoption or even doing it, vut what I do have a problem with is people effectively being told what they are or aren't allowed to think.

YES!, I agree!

[julie]

..Although i accept your points as very valid Avocado...i also fear that they may be a bit idealistic..

..Yes of course it would be great if all the anti discriminatory stuff was in place before same sex adoptions became the norm...but realistically it wont be

...and i for one would rather see children adopted into safe and appropriate homes as soon as physically possible...because the longer a child spends in the care system, i personally believe, the more traumatised and disfunctional they become..

..and the law will have to then follow suit..and as for discriminatory teaching in some schools...well there are already many same sex lesbian parents in the area where i live which is close to inner city manchester..and yes some discrimination does exist, of course.. but the schools, both state funded and church assisted, have very clear anti-dicriminatory practices in place and in general i would expect a school to deal with any discrimination issues appropriately... if the school does have a reputation for predjudice then any responsible parent with their childs emotional/spiritual well being at heart will soon pick up where and where not there child will receive most acceptance...just as parents of children with special ed needs, racial minority, spiritual needs, cultural needs have to do now...

...i removed one of my children from his primary school because he was being severely scapegoated, bullied and being called a girl.... this because he is a bit of a hippy and chooses to wear his hair long.. when i asked the teacher/head to intervene they just said 'well his hair is a bit long...cant you get him to get it cut?' there were many more examples ,of course, but i hope you get my point......these attitudes are never going to change regardless of what the law says....they( this particular school) also completely colludes with racial and class discrinination.. I believe the best use of my energy, rather than to be the unwanted educator to these people was to to focus on finding a school that is culturally accepting.. just as any parent with any nous would!

.....some places are just institutionally racist and homophobic (including, many might say, the police)... this in a country where there have been very powerful anti racism laws for many many years now... and only more recently more protection for the GBLT community... thats just how life is..

yes it is good to stand up for our rights and the rights of those too vulnerable to stand up for themselves and those on the periphery will listen and take on board new insights...but there will always be bigots...and my much repeated experience has taught me time and time again to, where possible of course, to turn the other cheek and leave the dead to bury their own dead...

....The 'serenity prayer' says it perfectly succinctly IMHO

Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
courage to change the things i can..
and the wisdom to know the difference.

:oh: i'll get off my :soapbox: now then shall i? :kay: