Is Bisexuality just a rest stop on the highway to homo?

[rodman2005]

How do you feel about that? (This was a quote from TV show Will and Grace.)

[Asspussy302]

I don't agree at all. Bisexuality means you are attracted to both sexes.

[Gearbox]

Most people think that if you're homo, you're HOMO and that's that for the rest of eternity!
But if you're hetero or bi, you can still be a homo some day.:rolleyes:

[Bicuriousman]

Absolutely not, that's like saying marijuana is a gateway drug

[tenni]

The quote is written from a monosexual perspective. You are either gay or hetero. Since bisexuality is the opposite of monosexuality it is untrue. Bisexuals are fluid with the attraction. At various points in our life we may "appear" to be hetero and other periods "gay" but we are neither. Some people do seem to identify as bisexual and later decide that they are gay though. Whether they were never bisexual or are still fluid is debatable until the stars burn out. Bottom line if bisexuals believe and live fluid sexual attractions, it should not matter to us what other people think. That is there life. If the other people try to get us to stay in a monosexual box..nope…no thank you.

[12voltyV2.0]

My comments deal exclusively with men and this subject---I would figure that for women---the process is similar but different in some fundamental ways.


For a lot of people who at first say that they are "Bisexual"---that is their "gateway" to making the move from considering themselves to be heterosexual and to "experiment" in trying man-on-man sex---and just to make that initial change is a big thing.

Over time---if they feel that engaging in homosexual acts with men is not "evil, bad, and sick" and they feel more comfortable with this change, in fact---they find that they prefer to have sex with men more than women and further---decide they are going to only have sex with other guys and not with women anymore.

That is not some "lie" or falsehood, or hiding anything---its just simply that they discovered or finally came to realize that they really did not like to have sex with women, and really did prefer to "do it" with men only, but it was not something that they came to early in life--but much later.

To me though---and this is a problem that both the monosexual cultures of heterosexuality and male "gays" have is that they tend to hold that one is either gay or straight with no in between---which I think is total BULLSHIT and I also believe that since being a gay male in our culture is an all encompassing thing--that goes far beyond simply sex----the sexual part of being "gay"---only constitutes a rather minor part of what it does mean to be a "gay" male in our culture.

To be honest----I have surely found that I do love to have sex with other guys and at this point-----prefer to only have sex with other guys---but I still do not totally rule out either having a sexual and/or romantic relationship with a woman in the future----I also admit that I would like to try having such a relationship with another guy if I find someone who I like, he likes me and we care for one another----but----even if I do that and NEVER again have any sort of a relationship with a woman---I will NEVER consider myself to be "GAY" because culturally and such----I have ZERO affinity or even much like for "gay culture." That that I am homophobic---its just that I have not lived my life in "gay culture" and have no desire to do so.

It is sort of like the fact that I of Irish descent, was raised Catholic but am a "fallen away Catholic"-----with that being true---from the cultural side of being Irish even though I don't regularly or actively adhere to the faith in which I was raised----I would rather die than to be considered an "ORANGE IRISHMAN" for those who know and understand that cultural distinction!

The same thing applies to being gay even if I never have sex or a romantic thing with another woman the rest of my days and die with cocks in my ass and mouth---I am not and never will---culturally--- be "GAY!"

[12voltyV2.0]

Dude it's a corny joke from the lame TV show Will and Grace. No need to flip out about it or inject pointless sexual politics or an even more pointless rant into a reply.

The thing is Jorge, is that a heck of a lot of people---gay and straight----believe this very thing---it is more or less the default view that both "Straight" and "gay" culture share in regards to bisexuality--at least when it comes to male bisexuality.

[Long Duck Dong]

How do you feel about that? (This was a quote from TV show Will and Grace.)

for some people it is... for others its not... oh the mysteries of a fluid sexuality.... we have had members that have posted about their own experiences shifting from a bisexual to a gay / lesbian / straight understanding and others that have posted about shifting from a straight / gay / lesbian understanding so there is peoples own experiences in a shifting sexuality that can support the idea that bisexuality can be a rest stop for some and not others......

my sister was a bisexual female that enjoyed the company of both sexes and later in her life became settled with just a single lady..... she sometimes mused with me about if it was because she had really fallen in love and settled down, if it was a lack of desire to continue a casual lifestyle or if it was a change in her sexuality and sexual wants, needs and desires.... my answer was often if I had the answer to that then I would be a wise man indeed because everybody is different

to me, a changing sexuality is a changing sexuality and its merely another aspect of us that can change, like our style of clothing, what we drink, the people we associate with, the things we enjoy and like to do.....but its a changing sexuality that does become a hot bed of assumptions and denials for people and one of the best quotes that I have read was from a author that wrote about how people that protest the most about how we can change sexually, are the ones that are the most scared about how they can / have changed to something and they do not want to let go of what they once were so they * attack * the idea that for some people bisexuality is just a rest stop before straight / gay but use the argument that going from gay / straight to bisexual is normal and the sign of a fluid sexuality

[jem_is_bi]

For me, I wish that was true. But, my feelings for women continue to endure.

[tenni]

"Actually no they don't believe it."

Now now BiDave..you know that you don't know..;):yikes2::three:

[goober]

It's such an interesting discussion. To a large extent I go along with culturalinfidel. My feeeling is that certain of us are highly sexual as opposed to moderately sexual and to one that is highly sexual all forms of sex appeal to them. Gays tend to be turned off by women for the most part and the same thing is true of butch lesbians. I think that probably few o us who are highly sexual at any given time are 50/50. I think that the degree to which we prefer one sex orther other may shift from time to time depending on to whom we are currently attracted or by the natural progression of trying new things. For me right now at this time I am undoubtedly more homo than hetero.

[goober]

I think, given society's attitudes that you would have to be highly sexual by nature to be willing to step outside what is conventionally accepted. If you weren't you would be more likeley to be able to surpress those inclinations with all of the problems they incur. No less an authority than Freud suggested that some people are more highly sexual than others. He cited oral sex as the an example in that it took high levels of passion to overcome what for some would be repulsive. I am not suggesting that gays and lesbians are not among the highly sexual. I am suggesting that soome people have higher degrees of sexuality than others and that bisexuals who would be perfectly capable of conventional sex must be among them. I am suggesting that heteros and gays may or may not be.

[CamStar94]

For some yes. Currently for me, I still feel attracted to women and men, but I find myself growing less ashamed of sexual arousal toward men. For a while I considered hey maybe this means I'm gay but I noticed I kept developing crushes on women still and fantasizing about sex with them as well. I think I was just so excited to embrace the part of me that is okay with male fantasy that it confused me. But, alas, I still feel the same now that I always have - maybe not 50.50, but interested in both nontheless. I feel like everybody here has their own unique story regarding their story.

[Bicuriousman]

It bothered me for many years reading and hearing from others that there is no such thing as bisexual. Knowing now, what I didn't know then, I personally wouldn't sweat it. Don't get all caught up in someone else's labels, weather they have a PHD or not. I know I am bisexual, I don't know how else to explain, that I am attracted to and like to have sex with, men and women, sometimes at the same time.

[12voltyV2.0]

My point with my previous, long winded post----is that we need to reject that idea that "if you do any "homo" act at all and ever, then you are a homo and that is that."

It is an idea that I want to make it small enough that we can "drown it in the bathtub!"

Please guys----stop saying stuff like, "well I figured that since I found I like to suck cock---I guess I must be a homo." Stop that "Stinkin' Thinkin'!"

A P.S.: Something in another thread made me think about it, but I surely was never a very good "straight" either----and always felt a few steps removed from being a good, strong and "true" card-carrying "hetero." I just have sorta always gone my own way---and in terms of sexual identity----bisexuality is as good a designator as is anything else since it was always my basic thought---that if you get close to either a woman or a man----why not be able to share not only being with them, doing stuff like going to movies, eating out, taking trips together and all that----but also having sex with them???

To me---that is a pretty clear indication that one is a true bisexual.

[dickhand]

I think it may be true . I have been bi since I was a teenager and am now 55 y/o . I may "turn" gay at any moment !

[Bisexual Explorer]

Whether bisexuality is a "rest stop to homo" then depends on whether bisexuals end up having sex exclusively with people of the same gender (my definition of homosexuality). Being on this site for several years, I am confident that for most of us this is not going to happen. I may be in the minority; I've been moving towards homosexuality for some time. For me, bisexuality has given me the opportunity to sort out my sexuality, though there certainly has not been a great deal of rest.
Bisexual Explorer

[zigzig]

I had ,,pendulum'' switches that few periods of my life I felt like a lesbian, but later as straight. I don't believe that I will turn straight or gay, because everyday I fantasize about both genders. Like mentioned before in this thread many mono sexuals will never understand bisexuals.

[Realist]

Like zigzig, I've had lovers and FWBs of both genders, but I can't say one has been more rewarding, or fun, than another. There are certainly definite different idiosyncrasies of genders, but both have been the spice of life, as far as I'm concerned.

[jem_is_bi]

I think it may be true . I have been bi since I was a teenager and am now 55 y/o . I may "turn" gay at any moment ! If you do, let me know the secret of your success.

[theartofcontrol]

Well every persons story is different. I would consider myself primarly hetrosexual when it comes to my emotional attachments. I like a woman in my life to have a close personal relationship with and great sex. I like a buddy to occasionally exchange blow jobs with. The ideal arrangement for me would to have a understanding female partner who would enjoy occassionally having another male that we both share in bed with us. Then he leaves and we cuddle.

[elian]

For at least 10 years I tried to figure out if I was gay or straight - and I was very unhappy until I was realized that I was gay AND straight..bisexuality is definitely real and it's usually more complicated then "double your chances for a date"

Here is a rather unkind, but funny caricature of what it's like to be bisexual:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/1290058777.html

hmm.. this one is pretty good too..

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mad/1319154166.html

I'm not really ashamed that I admire both men and women, and I think being able to form deep, loving relationships with either gender is something I am happy about for the most part.

[void()]

For at least 10 years I tried to figure out if I was gay or straight - and I was very unhappy until I was realized that I was gay AND straight..bisexuality is definitely real and it's usually more complicated then "double your chances for a date"

Here is a rather unkind, but funny caricature of what it's like to be bisexual:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/1290058777.html

hmm.. this one is pretty good too..

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mad/1319154166.html

I'm not really ashamed that I admire both men and women, and I think being able to form deep, loving relationships with either gender is something I am happy about for the most part.

*ambles over just to hug, holds a minute, smiles and lets go, ambles on*