Is it finally this far?

[joavi]

After a long while with no sex, my (only) sexpartner (whom I barely meet), and I may meet up tonight.
He sucks, rimms my ass, and once barebacked me and came in me (I wanned it badly).
We got tested twice. And we're clean.
I also like when he hits me in the nuts.
We'll see if and what will go on.
I badly want him to film himself cumming in my ass,otherwise I'm not intrested in it.
Wish me luck (now its 5pm38 and hes supposed to come at 10pm)

[joavi]

Did you have sex with that guy? Did he film it like you wanted and punch you in the balls?

We did have very diffrent sex this time,
no he didn't really punch me,
and he didn't want to film me,
he's so anoying about it I don't even need his face on the video.

[elian]

So are you disappointed joavi? Personally I would much rather have someone in my bed who wasn't abusive. There are plenty of ways you can exercise a desire to be dominate or submissive in bed while still showing your partner affection and appreciation.

I think in one of the other threads you mentioned that you were raped. No one deserves to have control taken away from them without their permission, I'm sorry if that happened to you.

[joavi]

So are you disappointed joavi? Personally I would much rather have someone in my bed who wasn't abusive. There are plenty of ways you can exercise a desire to be dominate or submissive in bed while still showing your partner affection and appreciation.

I think in one of the other threads you mentioned that you were raped. No one deserves to have control taken away from them without their permission, I'm sorry if that happened to you.

Thank you for your compassion.
It's difficult since my parents are acting towards me like a 12-year-old and they keep saying "Dont get upset all we say is cause we love you" I swear if Dr Phil heard my story they would get yelled at badly.

Back to sex- he did totally different stuff and it was great.
He licked my nipples and he lay up on me and touched me.
He doesn't like kissing but that would make it perfect for me.

And unfortunately, it's already difficult for me to find someone who likes ME (for sex),
so I can't afford to too much think about of I like HIM or not,
let alone sexually.