Why is it so hard to meet others?

[jmpstrxxx]

I/we've been trying for the last several years to meet someone who might be interested in developing a true FWB. I'm (male) am the one who is bi, but my wife is OK with it, so long as honesty is maintained. I've been looking for the last couple years for another guy who is OK with their own bisexuality. Someone who is comfortable enough to meet socially, say for coffee on a weekend morning just to BS and enjoy good conversation, but yet be secure enough with themselves to have sex with me alone or with 'us' as a couple. Yes, I'm a thicker guy, and every guy seems to be looking for that 'perfect' younger mate. I know PA can be very conservative, but can we actually be the only such couple in the entire state? Daily Craigslist seems to overflow with guys trying to meet other guys, unfortunately most seem to be playing games, be mentally unstable or cheating on their significant other. Why is it so hard to meet others who are close to us physically and location wise? Any suggestions?

[Top fucker]

If you're fat or obese that's going to be a major turn off for lots of men. It's easy to find a fuck buddy if that is what you want. Get out and meet people or try other sites.

[bikurinpa]

You are like, me, looking for same thing, and just like my same problem, u are 120 miles away for me! I been looking for so long too, tried all the m2m websites can think of, only gamers and bull shippers!! I even tried a pay site, adultfriendfinder, it was a waste of money, responded to many profiles, very few replied and the ones who did, went blank after 1 or 2 emails, and most the guys on it were the same gamers on the other m2m sites, and AFF also contained so many abandoned profiles! people who fell for the FREE sign up, found cant contact no one and abandoned it! What a waste of 60.00

[CurEUs_Male]

Stay honest and cool about things. Show the others how to be a good bisexual. Be the better man.

I have been openly bi to my wife for several years. She was afraid I would leave her, cheat on her, bring home STD's etc. She is the one that cheated, abused my trust... now when I go out on those sites, I am open that my wife knows, and will know before I play. It works to a point that most of the fakers don't bother to contact me. Several have posted that they are proud of me (although they will not open up themselves). The gay men that don't want anything to do with married men fade away. Finally, I have found, after a good bit of trial and error a couple guys that are open and honest. So far we are social, we'll see where it goes. It is a good feeling to know I found some honest guys though, wether we ever play, or if we are close to each other or further apart...

Good Luck . . .

[Hypersexual11]

A major problem I have is being older and kinda set in my ways, I find it difficult to find a guy that I really want to spend any time alone with. It seems like it should be easy but we are pretty rare. The personality pool is pretty shallow in any market, not just PA.
You just have to be persistent. Stick with it and above all, be honest on your end. You will be BSed constantly but the one time you finally are about to hook up with someone and you have this lie out there, it could be the roadblock that stops what could be perfect. Since I have a moment,(wife's out shopping for me) I have a couple tips to bore you with concerning an ad:
I'm assuming craigslist.
Don't post every day, or even every week. It is noticed, even if you change the wording. The people that are trying to find you are looking every day and will see repetitive ads as desperate. Never attractive.
Ask for specific information to be put in the subject of replies. I'm sure you have seen this. Do it, and don't open a reply that doesn't follow this basic instruction, Open, pursue and be let down.
After you spell out what you are looking for, ask specific questions that pertain to what you are looking for. What kind of movies do you like, what is your religious and political view, what outdoor activities do you enjoy, where are you on the Kinsey scale...and so on. If these questions aren't answered just move on, you are dealing with a guy that just wants a quick hookup.
It's been my experience that a well written honest ad will get a lot of response. Probably 95% will be bull and maybe even 100%. Wait a month or 2 and try again. He's out there man, don't give up.

[Top fucker]

After you spell out what you are looking for, ask specific questions that pertain to what you are looking for. What kind of movies do you like, what is your religious and political view, what outdoor activities do you enjoy, where are you on the Kinsey scale...and so on. This is just plain bad advice. You're looking for a fuck buddy not a man to date, partner or marry and live with. Pretty much every guy on Craigslist and other gay and bi male sites just wants to hook up or they want a regular fuck buddy. Asking way too many questions is a major turn off for a lot of men. Asking them what types of movies, their politics, about their religion/spirituality, where they are on the Kinsey scale, or if they like outdoor activities is pointless since first and foremost it's all about sex and not that stuff. Instead of asking them silly and pointless questions just be honest and say you want a fuck buddy.

[fredtyg]

Love ya, TF, but I'll have to disagree a bit. Sure, if you just want the physical aspect of it, you're right, and there's nothing wrong with that. For guys that want more than just a Blo or Fuck and Go, there's not much wrong with trying to find someone you might want to do more than just fool around with.

The problem I see with asking too many questions is it could scare a guy off if only because it's highly unlikely they'll have exactly the same interests and feelings about things you do.

I've suggested here before, and still think it's a good idea, to try advertising in the M2M Strictly Platonic section of Craigslist. Just say you want to chat with other like minded bi guys and that sex is not expected although it's always a possibility if things work out. No, it hasn't really worked for me, but I still think it's about the best screening opportunity for like minded guys you have available.

Either that, or think about guys you already know and get along with. That did work for me when I finally outed myself to a friend I'd known for years.