A Good Piece about Bisexuality

[12voltyV2.0]

I am sure that some won't agree--but the following piece about bisexuality is one of the better ones I have seen and pretty well hits a lot of things on the mark: http://www.alternet.org/story/149710/9_stupid_myths_about_bisexuals_that_will_make_you_ laugh?page=0%2C0

[Long Duck Dong]

there are a couple of myths about bisexuality that I hate

Only a bisexual can understand another bisexual.... truth is that attraction is attraction, desire is desire, need is need, the object of desire and attraction may differ from person to person ... and to say that only bisexual can understand another bisexual, is to say that we do not understand any other sexuality either because we are bisexual and not heterosexual, gay, lesbian so we can not understand them....but the truth is we can understand them, we know what its like to be attracted to another person and enjoy interaction with other people in a sexual or non sexual way, we are also human.....

A bisexual will not be happy or true to themselves unless they are sexually active ......a myth started by people that are too busy trying to justify their own lifestyles and existance if you ask me..... because each person is different... and statements like that are a way of trying to put us in a box then bitching about the fact that we are in a box because of statements like bisexuals are promiscuous....and its like saying that people that are older and no longer have a sexual interest in people, are miserable and unhappy....

Society is against us ... well if you piss society off enuf, they are going to be against you.... it doesn't mean that they are not going to be fine with the rest of us....and I am sure that rubbishing the rest of society is a fine way to get acceptance from them, NOT......there are a large number of bisexuals that move in society as out bisexuals and are accepted for who they are in the same way there is a large number of society that do not have issues with us, they enjoy our company because we are not assholes to them.....
many of us are in relationships or married or in casual / open sexual agreements with non bisexuals...... and then there are the people that look for any issue where some group is not kissing our ass as proof that society is against us.......

[tenni]

Thanks for the short article. My favourite funny line is


“Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that I would probably f*ck a jar of Nutella if it looked at me the right way, but just because bisexuals technically have more options for sexual partners doesn’t mean they are more promiscuous. “


I think that the sentence embodies the duplicity of sexual fluidity and stating that bisexuals do make choices and have some “standards”.


One myth is that asexuals are bisexuals as if bisexuality was a dumping ground. Another possible contradictory truth may be that bisexuality really consists of several sexualities yet to be determined.


I found another article with some contradictory gems of thoughts. “Why trendy bisexuals are dangerous to asexuals.”. http://grasexuality.wordpress.com/2009/03/17/why-trendy-bisexuals-are-dangerous-to-asexuality/ (http://grasexuality.wordpress.com/2009/03/17/why-trendy-bisexuals-are-dangerous-to-asexuality/)


The issue or myth that sexuality is based on attraction and not sexual behaviour is a point of debate. Whether it is a myth or a fact may rest in some of the grey areas of sexuality. Perhaps a sexuality requires both attraction and sexual behaviour? What is today's reality may morph into tomorrow's myth? Today's heterosexual may be tomorrow's heteroflexible or even bisexual.

[void()]

The article was on target imho. It was puny too, which helped. :)

[Fzmr9t]

Ok. That was BI far the funniest thing I've read today.

"Larry King"? Hmmm... No wonder I have so many pairs of suspenders.

DISCLAIMER: Im sure that some how, and by someone, these benign comments will be twisted out of context and offend someone. So for that reason, I apologize to you, in advance.

[NMCowboys]

True Long Duck Dong those are all myths. I don't like the whole myth that only someone that's bisexual will understand bisexuality since that's not true and people who are gay/lesbian or heterosexual can and do understand bisexuality despite not being bisexual.

The other myth about how society is totally against bisexual people is not true since there are as you wrote a large number of out bisexuals and we're accepted for who we are.

[Gearbox]

1. Bisexuals are sluts. Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that I would probably f*ck a jar of Nutella if it looked at me the right way, but just because bisexuals technically have more options for sexual partners doesn’t mean they are more promiscuous. As a friend wrote to me in an email recently, “I'm glad I'm not bisexual because then I'd be rejected by men and women.” Naturally, there are bisexuals who are non-monogamous, and who want to sow their oats into as many Quakers as possible, but the same could be said for every sexual orientation. Perhaps the truer statement is we all have the potential to be slutty, regardless of which way we swing.
I think that monogamy is at the core of why many have a dire need to poo poo bisexuality. To the monogamist (bi or not), commitment to the 'one' overrides all else. Sex & sexuality is inconsequential IF it goes against commitment, and so we hear "Just coz you're bi, doesn't mean you need to act on it.", time after time.
Just coz you're a monogamist, doesn't mean you or your partner has to act on it either, but oh deary deary me how they love to scorn the 'cheaters' & the 'sluts' of the entire world.:rolleyes:

[tenni]

Good point Gear.

If some bisexuals are sluts does that mean that it is still a myth that bisexuals are sluts? Enquiring Minds want to know ;)

Do you mean that if two people are monogamists that they do not have to act as a monogamist? They could act like a slut and it would be ok.

[Gearbox]

If some bisexuals are sluts does that mean that it is still a myth that bisexuals are sluts? Enquiring Minds want to know ;)
The myths about bisexuals are 1. We are sluts & 2. We are not sluts.:bigrin:

Do you mean that if two people are monogamists that they do not have to act as a monogamist? They could act like a slut and it would be ok.
That is heresy in the monog world and you'd be burned at the stake for it! Or called a slut?:rolleyes:
There is absolutely no reason known to Man why two monogs can't act like whores up an alley fucking anything that moves. Condoms are a wonderful invention.YAY!

[NMCowboys]

There is absolutely no reason known to Man why two monogs can't act like whores up an alley fucking anything that moves. Condoms are a wonderful invention.YAY!

Condoms don't protect against all STDs, and can break or slip off.

If two people are monogamous and in a relationship together then they're not going to have sex with other people besides each other at all. If they're having sex with other people then they're not monogamous at all.

[Gearbox]

Condoms don't protect against all STDs, and can break or slip off.

If two people are monogamous and in a relationship together then they're not going to have sex with other people besides each other at all. If they're having sex with other people then they're not monogamous at all.
There is no protection from flu, colds, etc etc either. But we all still go outside and take the risks. Michael Jacksons germproof bubble might be on ebay if that's too much though.:tongue:

Well no, monogs who have sex with others are not monog. But I won't tell!;)

[tenni]

I "hear" that you can become a "born again virgin" after a respectable time period?

Therefore, I'm sure that you can go out and slut walk to your hearts content. Go to a church confessional and say three Hail Mary's with a good act of contrition. Wham….a monogamous again ;)

Works for me Gear. Give it at try with the local priest. Just don't give in if he tempts you with an offer of a bj…You'll have to start over again...lol

[void()]

If two people are monogamous and in a
relationship together then they're not going to have sex with other
people besides each other at all. If they're having sex with other
people then they're not monogamous at all.

I think ultimately, it comes down each person's perception of the
definitions. A good reason to think this is because words are defined
and agreed upon by human beings. Human beings are subjective and
objective animals. Computers, hammers, and so on are examples of
objective things.

Words remain in the realm of being ideas, thoughts. They are not able
to be wholly and truly objective. We humans use words to express ideas,
thoughts, emotions, which remain subjective and so words will remain
infused with subjectivity. Perceptions too are subjective.

Not to exactly create a circular argument here but two subjective do
not make an objective. That elucidated, it illustrates why I think it
relies on a person's own perceptions of the word/s. And of course, I'm
no ultimate authority nor do I claim being that. Don't believe I ever
have, don't think I ever will.

[tenni]

"I think ultimately, it comes down each person's perception of the definitions. A good reason to think this is because words are defined
and agreed upon by human beings. Human beings are subjective and objective animals. Computers, hammers, and so on are examples of
objective things."

As I read this paragraph another idea came to me. It is also the person's perception not only about definitions of the word "monogamy" or "promiscuity" but the moral value assigned to these meanings. Meanings on their own are harmless. There is no overt attempt to give "right and wrong" moral judgement to these two words. People give these words weight. Many posters even on this site, give a higher moral value to the word "monogamy". They attach reasons for their moral judgement. The words themselves do not.

[Annika L]

Society is against us ... well if you piss society off enuf, they are going to be against you.... it doesn't mean that they are not going to be fine with the rest of us....and I am sure that rubbishing the rest of society is a fine way to get acceptance from them, NOT......there are a large number of bisexuals that move in society as out bisexuals and are accepted for who they are in the same way there is a large number of society that do not have issues with us, they enjoy our company because we are not assholes to them.....
many of us are in relationships or married or in casual / open sexual agreements with non bisexuals...... and then there are the people that look for any issue where some group is not kissing our ass as proof that society is against us.......

Well, you know, society isn't really against gays either...they have no trouble with gay people, as long as they don't piss them off too much by, say, letting it be known that they're gay, acting counter to the societal norms for their gender, or doing anything else that makes them feel integral to themselves and their sexuality.

Similarly, yeah, society has no trouble with bisexuals...as long as we're monogamous with a different-sex partner.

But I do agree that many feel persecution to a degree that goes beyond reason. Unlike homosexuals, I have not heard of people being beaten and killed for being bisexual (with general lack of public outrage and outpouring of sympathy and recognition)...generally when that happens to a bisexual, it's because the people involved thought they were gay.

[void()]

"I think ultimately, it comes down each person's perception of the definitions. A good reason to think this is because words are defined
and agreed upon by human beings. Human beings are subjective and objective animals. Computers, hammers, and so on are examples of
objective things."

As I read this paragraph another idea came to me. It is also the person's perception not only about definitions of the word "monogamy" or "promiscuity" but the moral value assigned to these meanings. Meanings on their own are harmless. There is no overt attempt to give "right and wrong" moral judgement to these two words. People give these words weight. Many posters even on this site, give a higher moral value to the word "monogamy". They attach reasons for their moral judgement. The words themselves do not.

Agreed. And my apologies, in reading my words again, notice I missed one. The line; Human beings are subjective and objective animals; ought to read; Human beings are subjective and _not_ objective animals. Sorry if that tripped anyone up.

[Long Duck Dong]

Well, you know, society isn't really against gays either...they have no trouble with gay people, as long as they don't piss them off too much by, say, letting it be known that they're gay, acting counter to the societal norms for their gender, or doing anything else that makes them feel integral to themselves and their sexuality.

Similarly, yeah, society has no trouble with bisexuals...as long as we're monogamous with a different-sex partner.

But I do agree that many feel persecution to a degree that goes beyond reason. Unlike homosexuals, I have not heard of people being beaten and killed for being bisexual (with general lack of public outrage and outpouring of sympathy and recognition)...generally when that happens to a bisexual, it's because the people involved thought they were gay.

most of the trouble I have seen with issues about gay / bi people, is often religion based groups that have a issue with most things not religious or conforming to religious ideas... greenie groups that are on a protest crusade and would protest anything that moves...and *we are anti everything * groups.... thats not society, that part of society.... in the same way that we have LGBT groups that will proclaim that anything that is not pro LGBT, is discrimination ( including lgbt neutral aspects ) and look for any reason to be offended or cry discrimination .....

then we have the majority of LGBT that just live their lives and take the good with the bad.... people that are out and proud, but not in your face with it as much as possible, or closeted and not blaming everybody else, instead saying that they are quiet people that like a quiet lifestyle...... and generally not having a issue as they are not feeling the need to go get in the face of the WBC then complain because the WBC is getting in their face......

I am not sure if you remember the post I made about the lesbian couple down south.... they were crying LGBT discrimination because they went to a bar, got a drink of water and sat in a corner, had a kiss and were kicked out all without 30 minutes, so they reported it on FB, and the bar was protested and the staff abused for a couple of days and blacklisted as a anti LGBT bar.....

then the bar manager posted the CCTV feed.... that clearly showed the two ladies buying 3 drinks during the hour they were there ( they claimed they only brought one bottled water and were there for 30 minutes ) and being asked to stop kissing at the bar as other customers could not get around them to the bar ( they claimed they shared one kiss in a corner )... and then it was time for the bar to close so everybody had to start leaving as requested by the bar staff ( they claimed only they were asked to leave )

so who really has the issue.... society or the people that want to blame society.... and who is really responsible for the issues.... the society that accepts us or the society that doesn't...... because they are all intermingled in the same way we are and the majority of us are accepting of the differences in each other.. the minority want to argue, bitch and fight with anybody that is not conforming to their narrow minded vision for the rest of us and society.........

it begs the question if its society that is against us, then are we part of society or not.... and if so, does that mean that we are part of the society that is against other people and doing the same thing that we claim they are doing to us.....

I have known of a number of bisexuals that have had the shit beaten out of them and in most cases, its because they have slept with other guys GF's or hit on the wrong person...... but that is no different to the other sexualities..... and thats something that is common with gay bashing crimes, there is a aspect of * the person is gay * and a underlying stronger aspect of * we believe that they have anal sex with other guys because that is what gay people do *.... and people often react with the * they must be repressed gay bi people that are in denial of their true feelings so they are attacking what they fear most...... and a general opposition to the idea that gay people can hit on the wrong person or sleep with the wrong people .....

I could use that same basis of thinking, to say that the reason why I am trolled by people is because they fear that they may be asexual natured themselves..... it doesn't really work that well........and btw I no longer refer to myself as asexual natured as there is a better and very correct term for me and aspects of me that has been covered and defined in the DSM published in may 13 and its a aspect of the dysthimia that I have, its also definitely not asexuality.. so much of the trolling of me has been based on assumptions about me, not fact...

I will always continue to stand by the understanding that its not society against us, but aspects of society, in the same way that we are against aspects of society, not society itself.... as we are part of society and we are a accepting and supporting society of the things we accept and embrace and not accepting and supportive of the things we don't... and that the majority of people with a issue with society, are actually wanting somebody else to blame for their lives and livestyles, other than themselves and so they exclude themselves from society so they can rubbish the fuck out of it, and ignore the fact that the LGBT community is part of society

[Annika L]

most of the trouble I have seen with issues about gay / bi people, is often religion based groups that have a issue with most things not religious or conforming to religious ideas... greenie groups that are on a protest crusade and would protest anything that moves...and *we are anti everything * groups.... thats not society, that part of society....

...and btw I no longer refer to myself as asexual natured as there is a better and very correct term for me and aspects of me that has been covered and defined in the DSM published in may 13 and its a aspect of the dysthimia that I have, its also definitely not asexuality.. so much of the trolling of me has been based on assumptions about me, not fact...


Hey LDD,

I take most of what you say in your post quite well. But I also think two things are worth pointing out, regarding the two bits I've reposted above.

First, in large bits of America, the "religious part of society" *is* effectively society. I can't blame a bisexual who lives in such an area for feeling that society is against them (inasmuch as that society is against anything that smacks of alternate sexuality).

And second, very glad to hear that you have a diagnosis that you're comfortable with...but any assumptions that you were asexual were made based on your statements that you were asexual. If I tell people I'm blonde, and then find out my hair is actually brown (which it is, btw), I can't get upset when people assume I'm blonde, right?

[Long Duck Dong]

yeah, I am aware that aspects of america are religious, much like some aspects of other countries.... thats why I try to be careful that I make it clear that I am talking about aspects of society rather than society as a whole, but also I live in a smaller country than the usa, and travelled beyond the borders of my country and sought out other cultures and ways of thinking rather than seeking out other groups that share my thinking and lifestyle.....

I could not blame a bisexual either, whoses experiences of society is predominately that of the religious aspects, for feeling that society is not accepting of them..... or any other sexuality other than the married white couple that only do the missionary position on any other day than sunday lol


the assumptions that I am asexual was a label put on me by other members and was based on other peoples insistence that there was no such thing as asexual natured ( the label I used ) therefore I was asexual but asexuals did not have sex therefore I was not asexual, but I was not bisexual because I was asexual therefore my opinions were not valid or welcome in the site and nor was my partner......

if you remember, it got to the point that other members started to tell some trolls to back off and drop it as they were making it impossible for others to discuss something that they were interested in learning about, but the trolls are so insistent that they were * experts * in the field of sexuality ( while stating that no other sexuality knew anything about being bisexual or bisexuality ) that they were taking on themselves to tell me that I had no idea what I was talking about when it came to me, asexuality and how asexuality worked.....

I still am as bisexual / pansexual as I have ever been..... and rather than a no / low sex drive, its actually a hyper sex drive ( I can perform well above average and that is a aspect of me that I have always had )... sex with partners that I am attracted to and reasonate with, is off the scale ( DD and I have posted about that aspect and that is also a natural aspect of me ) and how when she comes back, we are looking at involving a 3rd person tho its not just a sexual thing......
the other aspects was the way that I am more emotional and mentally attracted to people.....BUT its very limited in scope, I may resonate with one in every 100k people while the average person may resonate with one in every 5k people and that is part of why I was not really interested in casual sex / random hook ups... I wanted to feel something and if I could not, then it was meaningless... but a spark with a casual stranger and a casual encounter was very possible, intense and passionate.

I have http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia.... its what allows me to live a near celibate lifestyle without a partner living with me yet with the right partner living with me ( DD ), I change to a lifestyle where I can not settle without a full on lifestyle and more than one partner, because I am * pinballing * between a straight, gay and bisexual need and desire basis and its often a need to passionate, hard core, random sex and a need for emotional, love making both in the same day and multiple times....... and that is a result of the dysthimia causing the up and down mood swings and shifts in my brain.......

the ironic thing is that rather than a obstacle in my life, its been a boon.... the ability to relate to so many different lifestyles, sexuality and ways of living without the emotional heartache and pain that can come from being in love with somebody that you have to let go of.... and the ability to have casual sex without having any emotional hang ups etc etc.....
and that is why I have always been so supportive and accepting of other peoples lives and life styles even if I did not agree with them because I needed other people to be more understanding of my lifestyle and how I did not fit into a box myself.......

[tenni]

Hey LDD,

I take most of what you say in your post quite well. But I also think two things are worth pointing out, regarding the two bits I've reposted above.

And second, very glad to hear that you have a diagnosis that you're comfortable with...but any assumptions that you were asexual were made based on your statements that you were asexual. If I tell people I'm blonde, and then find out my hair is actually brown (which it is, btw), I can't get upset when people assume I'm blonde, right?

hmmm Would I told you so work here?…lol Talking about sex all the time is not asexual behaviour and never has been.
(friend of a real asexual person)

[void()]

If I tell people I'm blonde, and then find out my hair is actually brown (which it is, btw), I can't get upset when people assume I'm blonde, right?

Damn it! My fantasy image of you is now forever shot to hell. I did fantasize you as a hot blonde haired
chick, just simply because of adage that gentleman prefer blondes. *coughs* Me a gentleman? Eh, ...
maybe. Check with elian, if he says yes then figure no. *smirking*

[Long Duck Dong]

hmmm Would I told you so work here?…lol Talking about sex all the time is not asexual behaviour and never has been.
(friend of a real asexual person)

one of my friends told me about this remark, because they found it so fucking hilarious....

you are blowing your own trumpet about how *wise * you are when it was actually you proclaiming that I was asexual and therefore I should not be talking about sex or sex related issues..... and isn't it you that posted how your friend never said he was asexual, you assume he is ?

thats not a case of I told you so.... but you proclaiming how wrong you are about people and how you bully people in the site .....

[Annika L]

Damn it! My fantasy image of you is now forever shot to hell. I did fantasize you as a hot blonde haired
chick, just simply because of adage that gentleman prefer blondes. *coughs* Me a gentleman? Eh, ...
maybe. Check with elian, if he says yes then figure no. *smirking*

Isn't this a fantasy we've dispelled before, darling? *smile*

[tenni]

LDD
With regard to your post 22.
You can read a blocked person's posting just as I can. Your "friend" was kind enough to message you with a highlighted "reply with quote". How lovely. (rebuttal to follow I suspect).

You have the first syllable correct. The last syllable ends with a "t". That is what you shovel sometimes.

All your protesting that you were a bisexual asexual while similtaneously obsessing over sex and now you realize that you are not. It is good that you have realized/accepted the incorrectness of your (self?) diagnosis. Congratulations! I wish you continued improvement, health and happiness.