Bisexuality and first relationship with girl!

[azelaquestions]

Hey there. I am a 20 year old female and I identify to the world as a straight woman, but I am very much attracted to women as well. This is a recent development of accepting this fact of an attraction to women. I have made out with girls before when I was younger, and always just felt really okay about it. Like I feel as if I am probably just a true bisexual. I could not care less about the sex/physical aspect of a person, just the personality of who I'm seeing is what counts.

So my problem:
I attended college for 2 years at one school then transferred to another school 8 hours away. I met a girl, we will call her Lara, at the first school and she was dating my friend Sarah the entire time I knew her.

Lara identifies as a lesbian, Sarah as a bisexual.

We had hung out, but we were just friendly with each other even though I always felt this little...attraction to her, and I could tell she liked me (as a person/friend/maybe more?). I went back to visit 6 months after moving away and Sarah and Lara were breaking up over the weekend I was there. I have to say I was not disappointed about it. I got coffee with Lara right before heading back, and things were fine (there was another friend with us), but I noticed Lara looking at me kind of...curiously I guess. Like she thought I wasn't paying attention but I could tell she was watching me, and I got all *warm* inside or whatever. And kind of nervous.

I do not broadcast my feelings for women, so it isn't like she has ever heard me say I am bisexual or interested in women.

So now that I've gone home and she is there, we talk a lot. Well I should say text some and snapchat (a lot), and also relay back and forth on facebook/tumblr (where I express and have expressed attraction to women before through blogging). I have these feelings for her, serious feelings about this girl. About wanting to explore my sexuality with her, I mean we were friends and I know how amazing she is. I just don't know if it's right for me to have these feelings 1) because she dated my friend for almost a year and 2) because what if I am in some kind of phase and I mess things up with our friendship?

SO anyway, we kind of have this flirtationship going on. She knows I think about her and I know she thinks about me. We have made it kind of obvious, but I just don't know where to go from here.

I don't know how this relationship would ever work considering we are long-distance, but I am going to visit again this December. I am a little worried about how to act or if I should just go for it. I have never had sex with a woman, or touched a woman privately. I don't know if she is the one I should put that "first-time" pressure on because I love her so much as a friend too. But that makes me think she would understand, and that you shouldn't keep what you feel inside because we are obviously attracted to each other!

Any thoughts/help - very much appreciated.

[darkeyes]

Does it matter if the relationship works in the great scheme of things? It's early days isn't it? I've had one nite stands and casual flings of a few days and longer relationships with men and women over the last 2 decades and all were trial and error, and few, arguably 3 at best, worked... one I am quite sure still does..with a woman.. my wife and luffly partner... where is peeps sense of discovery and adventure? The exploration of life and sex? We don't have to find the one first time of asking... far too many think have sex 1ce and it must be love... I never thought like that... have fun.. enjoy it.. try things out. U may or may not find the one no matter how often u have relationships... and sometimes relationships just work without that person being the man or girl of our dreams... why it works? God knows.. but it does and people do become happy and relatively contented.. and it just works.. experiment and have fun.. dont expect things to work.. just have fun and if they work fine.. if not well sad but thats life.. arguably in the sexually liberal world at least... and prob the rest...whether gay, bisexual or heterosexual more romantic relationships don't work as romantic relationships than do...even many who stay together forever and a day... staying togteer doesnt mean that things have worked out... play it by ear and see how it goes is all I can suggest.. don't b afraid of it.. just don't jump into anything and think this is it just cos u may get laid and it is very nice and u have been taken to heaven a few times.... love and romantic relationships are a bit more than about being taken to to heaven a few times.. or even often.. however wonderful that may be and trust me in this.. it is fucking frantabulous:impleased!!!

Distance btw makes things difficult but not impossible... all I can suggest is see how it goes and enjoy it while u can.. fair chance something else will turn up in due course that is a little more conveniently on ur doorstep.. but even that isn't guaranteed to work:)...

[mtnmen2]

Trust me as you get older the things in life you regret are the things you didn't do are say not the things you done. Or as we also use to say no balls no babies don't know how that exactly fits in a lesbian relationship but you can get the jest of it. Wish you best of luck no matter what your decision is.

[steve10557]

You're young and full of uncertainty as we all are or have been. But this woman is first and foremost your friend, and you have this attraction that you just HAVE to explore, otherwise you will forever regret that you didn't. Who better to have your first experience with, other than a friend.

Things my Dad said: "Grab that with both hands"