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Ziggy74
Oct 8, 2013, 6:39 PM
Hey Everyone

i'm sure some of you can relate, so here it is -
as long as I recall, I have loved having a strong "feminine" side. Its amazing how much gender can blur. I can look more feminine than some women, and vice versa.
I guess I am one of those, though, who has a very sharp divide in emotional/sexual attraction, and I have a very hard time being ok with that. My romantic interest is all women, but sexually it can be either. This seems fairly normal by what I read.

When I was around 20, I was fairly aware of all this. I trimmed/shaved myself, wore an earring in each ear. Purple pants, one white and one black converse shoe, floral shirt...lol...might have been obvious? but I didn't equate any of that with sexual curiosity. Less funny, my older brother disowned me at that point, and I haven't wore an earring since.

Now, I am approaching "middle age", and am finally feeling ready for a guy. For me, the angle is fairly narrow - its basically the subset of bi-guys who are highly attracted to sissy/cd types. I have talked to many, and find this subset far less common than the versatile types. Guys that want me to top them, or even suck me, are an immediate, strong turn-off. But, when I get chatting with one on my wavelength, its awesome.

How does one deal with having a sexual desire that is completely different from emotional? There may not be a right answer. For me, its even more marked, in that I am not even much attracted to males, even the supposed hottest of the hot. Guys do not turn my head. It is only within the realm of my femininity, and men's attraction to it, that it works for me. When I get off, I usually feel a sort of self-alienation.

I'm not sure if this is a question, or a vent, or what.

FunE1
Oct 8, 2013, 9:08 PM
I think, to answer your question (in re: sexual desire differing from emotional), you decide if you want to act on that desire and then, if you do, to be clear on what you want, what you will do, and with whom.

It seems as if you have a pretty good idea most of this (or are getting very close to having those answers), so I'd suggest you just go for it... just be honest with your partners as you do. There are PLENTY of bisexual guys who like sissy/flower/fem-bois & men and/or CDs... AND who just want sex, not romance.

Coming back into the bi world just a few years back, after 20+ years of just fantasizing about it, I've found that the more comfortable I get with my sexuality, the more fun I have, and the less shameful I feel about the fun I do have.

I'd like to believe that would be true for others as well.