Any straight people with bi partners here?

[gayle]

I'm just curious. How many of you at this site are straight and have a bi partner? I'm straight and my bf is bi. I know there are others like me at this site.
How do you feel about your partner being bi? When did you find out? How? Did or does your partner ever try to "make" you bi? And have you encountered anyone at this site who seemed to feel you shouldn't be here since you were straight, even though you had a bi partner?
I found out my bf was bi after we'd been dating a few months. We had had an experience which had made me wonder if he was gay because I had never heard of bisexuality. We had gone to a "juice bar" and we shared a cock (doing a blow job). It was a couple months after this that he finally told me he was bi. I came to this website to ask all my questions about bisexuality. When I first found out he was bi, I felt so insecure. I was just sure he couldn't be committed to me and be faithful to me since he was bi. A lot of nice people here offered me reassurance and over time I was able to realize that his being bi was no more a sign that he'd cheat on me than being straight was proof that he'd be faithful to me.
For awhile, my bf did try to persuade me I was bicurious or bi. I was pretty sure I was straight, but I did go along with him and had a bi experience. After that I'm pretty darned certain I'm straight. There is one woman I have found to be attractive, but I'm not just dying to have a chance to be with her. I know she's interested in me and she is bi. If we do meet again, maybe we'll do something, but maybe we won't. But what really frustrates me is that my bf was so determined that I be "curious" or outright bi. He wasn't willing to readily accept that I am straight, although I accepted his being bi. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Over time, he has come to accept that I am not bi.
I'd like to hear the thoughts of other straight people who are involved with bi partners. It'd be nice if we could all support each other and any newcomers who might find themselves in situations similar to our own.

[Gypsy200]

Hi Gayle,

I'm also in a straight / bi relationship (i'm the straight one). The people on this forum have been very understanding and supportive to me and the questions i've asked. It helps to draw on their experience, especially as my girlfriend and I don't know any other bisexual people. We have plenty of gay friends but none that are bi.

It sounds like my situation is slightly different to yours, my girlfriend isn't currently 'actively' persuing her attraction to the same sex, but it has caused some complications in the relationship (see my Carrot Dangling post). Nothing that talking 'REALLY' openly and honestly can't fix though.

It's a unique situation to be in where both you and your partner could in theory find the same people attractive. So long as you can manage the jealousy that may fester. If I were you, I'd try to get to the bottom of why your partner was so pushy about hoping you were bisexual or bi-curious. Maybe to make himself feel better about his sexuality?

Hope you enjoy the site.!!

John

[trickster232]

Yes, we are here. I am straight (very straight) and my husband is bi. Trix

[kimba_n_hotrod]

I, too, am also in this group. My husband of 5 year is bi. He has never once suggested that I might be curious or anything. I try to be very supportive of him and in return, I get more love and affection that I could have ever known possible. We are actively seeking a bimale to join us. Its been hard, frustrating and even nerve-racking, but the right one is out there for us..somewhere.

My husband told me he was bi about a 3 months after we were married. It was difficult at first. I felt inadequate but he quickly reassured me that was not the case. Since then, we've had our ups and downs. But our love for each other hasn't diminished. I love him more today than I did 5 years ago..even 10 years ago (that's how long we've been together).

Peace & Love :tongue:

[gayle]

I am very glad to see your postings on this subject. When I first learned my bf was bi, I felt like I was all alone in the world. I knew nothing about bisexuality and had so many questions. The biggest issue for me was the feeling of insecurity and of being somehow insufficient as I was female and my bf desired both females and males. I could be female but I definitely couldn't be male. I feared he would be less than content in our relationship and that he would feel the need to pursue sex with other men. Also, knowing nothing about bisexuality, I mistakenly equated bisexuality with promiscuity. I mistakenly believed my bf could not possibly be faithful to me when he desired sex with both men and women. Thanks to many kind people at this site, most of my insecurities were put to rest. Now I know that our sexual orientation does not determine whether or not we are able to have a monogamous relationship. For us, it is a choice to abstain from sexual relations unless we are both present. This doesn't mean we haven't had mmf encounters, etc. We definitely have had those. The thing is, that these are encounters we pursue together.
This past weekend we met a bi male that we are hoping to meet with again in the future. I am pleased to have met him as he seems very compatible to our particular desires. Exploring our desires and fantasies together has been a very pleasurable pursuit.
I am very pleased to note that at this point, my bf's sexuality is no longer the focal point of the relationship for me. His being bi is merely a detail, just like the color of his eyes and hair are details.
I continue to welcome other straight people and their bi partners to contact me and tell me their stories, share their questions, etc. For me, it's very comforting to know I'm not the only one in a str8/bi relationship. Others have faced issues similar to the ones I have. Others have had questions. I'm also pleased to see others coming out and stating that they are in a str8/bi relationship because I know there are those who browse this site and they need our support. They need to know there is a safe place to ask their questions, a place where they won't be criticized or ostracized but rather welcomed into the community. Perhaps my goal is a little different from what Drew had in mind in creating this site, but I very much want this site to be a safe haven for the straight partners of bisexual partners. We very much need a place to ask our questions and express our thoughts.
Drew --- a big "hats off" to you for creating this wonderful site! Some of us are only here for a season of our lives, and others for the longterm. Irregardless of how long we may visit this site, I have no doubt a great many people are grateful to you for the efforts you have put forth in creating this site. :compuser:

[BiShadoman]

This is mainly a compilation of my opinions in regards to you and your bf's situation after reading everything that you have posted over the past couple of months. My intent is not to offend you or piss anyone else off, but to give you another point of view.
You say that because your bf didn't tell you from the beginning that he was bi that you felt betrayed in some ways (and other things along that line) yet you also say that you don't feel the need to let everyone know that you are straight. Can you honestly say that if he had told you before you started dating that he was a bisexual that the two of you would even be in a relationship right now? I have read in a few of your posts that you haven't told him this or that he doesn't know all about this, that , or the other for whatever reason, Is that really be honest and/or fair to him? You write that if he knew that I was telling about this then he would probably be pissed, Why would you do something that you know is going to upset or cause your partner pain if you truly loved that person? You write that he pushed the issue of you being bi-curious yet you have said more than once that you wondered how this would work ar how that could happen between 2 women, well that to me is being bi-curious and you have even admitted to having an attraction to another woman and wondering what it would be like with her, so whats up with that if its not being bi-curious?
Alot of times I get the feeling that you just enjoy bashing your bf here instead of talking to him and I also get the feeling that you are getting ready to leave him and he doesn't even have a clue. Does he know that you have pretty much given out a blanket invitation to everyone in the area to your b-day when he himself may have something planned especially for you?
Alot of the advice that you give to others seems to be very sound ,but are you listening to any of your own words?
Just my 2cents worth.

[gayle]

Funny, Bishadoman that you would ask if I were considering leaving my bf. You say that's the impression you have. Reading your postings, I strongly think you plan to dump your gf and she probably hasn't realized it was coming. No, I haven't been considering dumping my bf. I've actually been hoping to improve things with my bf and I hope he feels the same way. But as I posted earlier today, I am going to take a break from this site. I have a lot of things on my mind, things that I had hoped to achieve by this time in my life and I really want to think things through and decide what it is I really want and what I need in order to be fully happy. I hope to be able to talk to my bf, but I'm not even sure where to start at the moment. I love him very much and I hope that he can realize that, even now when I am feeling a bit confused. I just want to sort things out and decide which of my goals/dreams are reasonably possible to achieve and which things it's time to give up on. I hope to be able to figure things out quickly, but things seem so darned confusing. I hope maybe he'll be able to help me sort things out and to truly listen to me and hear not just my words but what is coming from my heart.
I have tried to be supportive of him, but I know that there are those times when he feels I have fallen flat on my face. I'm only human. I know there are times when he's let me down and when he's hurt me. But love is said to cover a multitude of sins, and maybe, just maybe, love is enough to allow two people who say they love each other to work things out and to support one another's dreams. Maybe love is enough to motivate two people to forgive one another for those times when they have hurt one another. I guess that's something I hope to find out soon.

[taz67156]

I'm also straight and gf is bi I'm sure you all know who she is but when I found out that she was bi I really didn't like it and tried to get her to change and it seemed like it made things worse for us and now even if I'm still not fond of her being bi I just deal with it in my own ways because there isn't anyway to change it without causing problems, and with the problem that your facing Gayle it could be time for alittle break from everything but all I can really suggest is do what your heart tells you not your mind or it could hurt you in the long run. It took me coming to this site to really understand people that are bi some people might not like straight people in here but they also have to understand that we might not see why somebody would be bi or whatever they choose to be we can all learn from each other.

FROM,
taz67156

[gina42]

hi gayle,
i am straight and my hubby is bisexual,he had told me two weeks into our dating and we have been married 12 years this comming december.
i never once felt insecure,the nite he told me i knew he was scared of my reaction but it did not matter to me,i told him i loved him no matter what and being bisexual was part of him and i would always love him....he has never once tryed pushing me into trying a bi relationship..he is my best friend and lover all in one.

[gfofbiguy]

I'm str8 (as an arrow as my b/f says) and my b/f is bi. He also wanted me to be bi/wanted a bi-girlfriend, but has now come to accept me for who I am, as I have accepted him for who he is all along (he told me he was bi from the get go and knew I was str8 from the get-go. I know he won't cheat on me because he's bi.....cheating is a choice, being bi or str8 or gay is not a choice and being bi doesn't mean someone is "going to cheat" or not going to cheat on a person. My ex-husband was str8 and cheated on me (among other things)......my b/f is bi and has not and will not cheat on me. Go figure.

[Fresia]

Bump it up!