opinions please confused about my boyfriend and his needs being bi

[lolo_1227]

so my boyfriend today admitted to me that he is bi and likes to be dominated. he also loves to be abused and bossed around as well as humiliated and loves to put things in his butt and he wants my friends to join in on it he doesn't only want me being mean to him and bossing him around he wants him to. . this does not bother me what ever makes him happy is fine with me but Im very shy when it comes to sexual things and I don't know if im going to be able to satisfy him with what he wants. we did things before he admitted this and it always seemed that I satisfied him but he could have been faking it I don't know.

[easilyused]

lolo, he just feels ready to take his wantings to the next level. In no way does that imply you're not satisfying him, nor does that say he wants it 24/7. I have the same problem. I'm in your bf's shoes. My wife wants to try being dominant in every way, including tying me up and doing things that could be painful things to me. Her big problem is that she's afraid of hurting me. What she doesn't understand is that I want to find out what my limits are and then go beyond. She's ok with my finding someone else to play with(a guy only though), which I have done a few times.
Try watching some female domination videos together and talk about what you see. Find out if you could be the one doing things to him with comfort of mind. If not, you could suggest that the two of you work on finding someone else willing to help him. Friends would really be a plus with the bossing and humiliation. No matter how it turns out, I think you're awesome to have such a open mind and have the want to keep satisfying him(many women would leave their guy).

[ghost_of_bluebiyou]

Lolo,
your boyfriend is clearly discovering himself.
If you want to stay with him, stay with him.
You cannot change him back to the way you think he was, or hope him to be.
Some lovers have held on to the ride... and been blessed; but it will take a lot from you to accept... personal growth and acceptance usually come at a high cost of pain.
Other lovers have let loose... and been blessed to move on. Sometimes personal growth is not worth it.
Some have done either and been cursed.

There is little road map in the realm of human advise.
If you love him hold to him, the ride will be wild in your situation.
When you know it's over... it's over.

Only you will know.
Best Wishes,
Blue

[Prince of Thieves]

Time for you to be the dominator. Take a deep breath and go for it. It's pretty cool that he would tell you these things.

[Gearbox]

If you do decide to try the humiliation and abuse out, then IMO it's best that you try to make it fun for YOU, not just him.
Otherwise you will have those feelings of not being what he wants you to be, and could get worse. You seem to already think that you're inadequate, and THAT has to be sorted out before you go exploring.

Have a good chat and air out any misunderstandings you might have and get rid of as much pressure on you as possible.
Discuss "What if I don't like it?", etc.:)

[curious44]

I say go for it and don't worry about hurting him. Use a couple safe words. One that says, "You're getting close to my limits but don't stop" The other means, "That's the limit, back off". I bet you'll found that the limits will be far more than what you imagine. Verbalize, use abusive and humiliating language. Loud, angry and in his face like an old fashioned drill sergeant. I'm not a professional dom or total fem sissy sub but know the more a scene progresses the more I get in to it whether I'm on top or bottom. Go at it with an open mind. Once you both become familiar and realize you're both enjoying it the more you'll progress. If you're lucky as time goes on you'll look back and think, "WOW! This is cool! Why didn't we try this a long time ago?" You don't need to spend a lot of $ on toys either. A simple thing like a wooden spoon makes a very effective paddle. Add a little water. sponge his ass and soak the spoon. It increases the sting and makes a louder crack. A spool of nylon venetian blind cord from the hardware store is perfect for binding his cock and balls. An inexpensive adjustable shower curtain rod makes an effective spreader bar and/or humbler. Try it, you'll like it. And then "file a report" so we can all read about it.:tongue:

[mrthick40]

I love the fact he told you these things and didn't go outside the relationship. I told my wife about three days after we were married; and she seem's to be dealing w it. I have never cheated on her; so I think there is a great positive side to this; PLUS? you could kick his A$$ now anytime you like!

[cuttin2dachase]

You didn't say whether he also wants to be forced to watch you have sex with other men and women while you are using him and humiliating him. For many bi submissive men, that is a huge part of the turn on. I would explore it with him and also do anything/everything you'd like to do with the men who join you. As others have said, you are fortunate to have a lover who is not afraid to tell you of his most secret, taboo sexual desires. I'm sure you have a few of your own !

[lolo_1227]

thank you for the advice it really helped!!

[lolo_1227]

thank you for the advice everyone! ill talk to him and update you all with what happens.

[ghost_of_bluebiyou]

No, you won't.

and best wishes to you.

Blue

[ghost_of_bluebiyou]

Damn, I nailed that one....