Talk About Labels!!!

[fredtyg]

I thought the discussion over gay vs. bi vs. bicurious got a little crazy sometimes. Check out all these versions of bisexuality I found on another bi forum. Sorry if they've been posted here before:

Alternating bisexuals: may have a relationship with a man, and then after that relationship ends, may choose a female partner for a subsequent relationship, and many go back to a male partner next.
Circumstantial bisexuals: primarily heterosexual, but will choose same sex partners only in situations where they have no access to other-sex partners, such as when in jail, in the military, or in a gender-segregated school.
Concurrent relationship bisexuals: have primary relationship with one gender only but have other casual or secondary relationships with people of another gender at the same time.
Conditional bisexuals: either straight or gay/lesbian, but will switch to a relationship with another gender for financial or career gain or for a specific purpose, such as young straight males who become gay prostitutes or lesbians who get married to men in order to gain acceptance from family members or to have children.
Emotional bisexuals: have intimate emotional relationships with both men and women, but only have sexual relationships with one gender.
Integrated bisexuals: have more than one primary relationship at the same time, one with a man and one with a woman.
Exploratory bisexuals: either straight or gay/lesbian, but have sex with another gender just to satisfy curiosity or "see what it's like."
Hedonistic bisexuals: primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will sometimes have sex with another gender primarily for fun or purely sexual satisfaction.
Recreational bisexuals: primarily heterosexual but engage in gay or lesbian sex only when under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
Isolated bisexuals: 100% straight or gay/lesbian now but has had at one or more sexual experience with another gender in the past.
Latent bisexuals: completely straight or gay lesbian in behavior but have strong desire for sex with another gender, but have never acted on it.
Motivational bisexuals:
straight women who have sex with other women only because a male partner insists on it to titillate him.
Transitional bisexuals: temporarily identify as bisexual while in the process of moving from being straight to being gay or lesbian, or going from being gay or lesbian to being heterosexual.

Which are you? Seems to me I've been one or more of them most of my life. Not sure what I am now. Maybe hedonistic, or maybe more than one?

[Gearbox]

They missed out the very important Brokeback Mountain Bisexuals that are married to opposite gender but are in love with just one of the same gender who they have a closed loop same gender monog relationship with and meet on sporadic 'fishing trips'. Casual same gender sex with Mexicans is not allowed!:tongue:

I must add that if you are a Brokeback Mountain Bisexual, for God's sake take your fishing rod out and check for cute notes from the Mrs when you get to Camp Cumalloverme! FFS!:rolleyes:

[tenni]

They missed out the very important Brokeback Mountain Bisexuals that are married to opposite gender but are in love with just one of the same gender who they have a closed loop same gender monog relationship with and meet on sporadic 'fishing trips'. Casual same gender sex with Mexicans is not allowed!:tongue:

I must add that if you are a Brokeback Mountain Bisexual, for God's sake take your fishing rod out and check for cute notes from the Mrs when you get to Camp Cumalloverme! FFS!:rolleyes:

Somebody has been watching movies on the internet again ;)

I definitely think that there is more than one type of bisexual.

In some cases the above labels may help self identify. I think that one major shift /difference is between bisexuals who have a low level need for same sex play and those who have a great need for same sex play as well as opposite gender play. Funny, but some of the low level need peeps think that every bisexual is like them?

[Annika L]

I dislike the term "Alternating bisexuals" for what is essentially "Monogamous bisexuals". The description does not at all imply alternation...just that one *may* change and/or go back. Effectively the word "alternating" reinforces both the "slutty" stereotype and the "indecisive" stereotype, neither of which apply to the group actually being described.

[tenni]

I dislike the term "Alternating bisexuals" for what is essentially "Monogamous bisexuals". The description does not at all imply alternation...just that one *may* change and/or go back. Effectively the word "alternating" reinforces both the "slutty" stereotype and the "indecisive" stereotype, neither of which apply to the group actually being described.

Hey Annika
That is an interesting interpretation of the word "alternating". I thought it a good word to describe people like Anne Heiche(sp?)...minus the nervous break down. The bisexual who may enter a monogamous relationship with one gender and should that relation end for whatever reasons...including death of the partner, that bisexual may enter a new monogamous relationship but there is no guarantee that it will be the gender of their last partner. The bisexual is open to both genders for a relationship. Anne Heiche was in a same gender relationship with Ellen after being in a cross gender relationship with a man. When the relationship with Ellen ended she married a man. I don't think that it is indecisive at all? I'm not certain but I recall Heiche doing some dancing away rationalizing her bisexuality as a point of confusion. That was probably to do more with her movie career?

[Annika L]

Hey Annika
That is an interesting interpretation of the word "alternating". I thought it a good word to describe people like Anne Heiche(sp?)...minus the nervous break down. The bisexual who may enter a monogamous relationship with one gender and should that relation end for whatever reasons...including death of the partner, that bisexual may enter a new monogamous relationship but there is no guarantee that it will be the gender of their last partner. The bisexual is open to both genders for a relationship. Anne Heiche was in a same gender relationship with Ellen after being in a cross gender relationship with a man. When the relationship with Ellen ended she married a man. I don't think that it is indecisive at all? I'm not certain but I recall Heiche doing some dancing away rationalizing her bisexuality as a point of confusion. That was probably to do more with her movie career?

This is my point, tenni. The behavior being described is in fact serial monogamy. "Alternating" implies back and forth, and generally "as in alternating current" a pretty rapid back-and-forth. The Serial Monogamist bisexual needn't *ever* have a relationship with the one of the sexes...nothing more than a theoretical possibility to which they're open. So I don't deplore the *concept* in this category...I deplore the word "alternating" to describe it.

[tenni]

This is my point, tenni. The behavior being described is in fact serial monogamy. "Alternating" implies back and forth, and generally "as in alternating current" a pretty rapid back-and-forth. The Serial Monogamist bisexual needn't *ever* have a relationship with the one of the sexes...nothing more than a theoretical possibility to which they're open. So I don't deplore the *concept* in this category...I deplore the word "alternating" to describe it.

Ok..yes they are serial monogamist. Let me try to explain again. How they differ from monosexual serial monogamists is that they do go back and forth from one gender to the other as well. Now, I don't think that it is that "clean" as going from a male partner to a female partner. Such a bisexual might have two serial monogamy relationships with say the opposite gender. Most people accept that without a raised eyebrows. Then they have a same sex partner and many people think that they are gay all of a sudden. In fact, they were bisexual all along.

[Long Duck Dong]

annika, this is a link to a personal opinion blog by a person talking about their thoughts on being an alternating bisexual http://www.bitheway.co.uk/2008/06/27/the-alternating-bisexual/ while I find the blog interesting, I do not fully agree with the opinions in the blog

..... personally myself, I perfer the broader interpretation of alternating bisexual which refers to a person that has a alternating primary relationship with one gender and can be monogamous or non monogamous.....

the way the alternating bisexual defined, in freds post, refers to a person that has had a relationship with a male, then a woman then a male... it excludes most lesbian bisexuals and bisexuals that have relationships with women then a guy them another woman....

[tenni]

" it excludes most lesbian bisexuals and bisexuals that have relationships with women then a guy them another woman...."

I would think that it doesn't "exclude" anyone as far as being bisexual. It simply points out that they are alternating bisexuals just as "councurrent relationship bisexuals are defined differently.

"Lesbian" bisexual? wtf? Are there also "gay" bisexuals? No, there are lesbians and gays but neither are bisexual by definition. There may be bisexuals who tend to be involved in more same gender relationships than cross gender relationships but they are bisexual and not gay nor lesbian. Being in a same gender relationship does not negate a person's bisexuality. If they are sexually and/or emotionally attracted to both genders the person is bisexual regardless who they have a relationship with.

"The alternating bisexual is a rare breed, or so it seems, as I’ve come across very few, certainly amongst men. For the uninitiated, the alternating bisexual is the person who has the capacity to fall in love with either men or women, but chooses only one partner at a time and is usually monogamous."
This makes sense to me.

[Gearbox]

"The alternating bisexual is a rare breed, or so it seems, as I’ve come across very few, certainly amongst men. For the uninitiated, the alternating bisexual is the person who has the capacity to fall in love with either men or women, but chooses only one partner at a time and is usually monogamous."
I'm not sure I understand that. What has the number of partners we chose to have at the same time got to do with sexuality?
I can see that if a bi has a same gender partner then opposite, then same.....you could say that he/she alternated between genders in their choice of partners. But that doesn't make their sexuality 'alternating'.

I like tea & coffee but only drink one at a time, so I alternate between the two. I still like both though. My tastes don't alternate between the two, just my choices.:tongue:

[Crowbarsal]

I'm between a Hedonistic bisexual and Exploratory bisexual, more of hedonistic. Unfortunately I started by being a Recreational bisexual.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

loL I dont like labels. But I do like the term Bi-Select when refering to my own sexuality. It just means that I am Damn picky about the ladies that I have sex with. lol Outside of that, I'm just Me..;)
Cat