No Monogamy :)

[tenni]

What would the world be like if there was no such thing as monogamy?


Yep...we all woke up one morning and kissed the person beside us. We got up and went to work. On the way home we bump into a former lover. We have a good time and a good shag.

When we get home, we tell our live in ..partner whatever...”Oh ya, You’ll never guess who I bumped into today.? Ya, it was Mary and we went for a drink and a lovely love making session.”

The partner replies with “Oh that’s nice, dear. I have always liked Mary. We should invite her over for a weekend sometime.”

Yep, the social norm was poly in a wide variety of forms.


No, jealousy.
No fear of catching something as we all use protection no matter who we make love to.
No fears of rejection.
No fears that your partner was going to leave you for a same sex partner.
No possessiveness.
No such thing as cheating.
No time spent "snooping" (invasion of privacy) into another person's mobile
No posters being negatively judgemental of other people's sex lives.


What a wonderful world? ;)

[biblkman]

That would be great in a perfect world, too bad for STDs, jeoulosy and fear of abandanment.

But it sounds like a wonderful place to live.

[darkeyes]

Problem wiv perfection biblkman.. it all sounds so luffly... but scratch the surface and in its way it sounds so dull... all that literature as yet unwritten which we will never see... love songs, theatre, opera, ballet, telly, film, art and the arts the world over... so much culture wud disappear or at least shrivel and somehow become less... much of the most beautiful and wonderful culture which human beings have loved since time immemorial... sure life would be better in so many ways.. yet without jealousy, infidelity, the norm as we know it, love as so many dream it, break up, divorce... would we not also lose so much that is wonderful of the inventiveness and genius of our kind? And if our world became truly perfect in all ways... would we not lose even more? So many of the greatest of cultural achievements have been born of pain... while we may be perfect, in our perfection would not our world also be just a little more drab and grey?

I am with u, tenni in this.. yet it would come at great cost.. and I would mourn its passing because of the so many great works of the human mind would we will never see because of our perfection...:) We may create other beautiful things and our culture will compensate.. yet somehow I doubt it... what is to inspire us to the greatest of heights without the failings which make us what we are now??? Deeply flawed...

[jem_is_bi]

That would not work for me.
I think I must have a monogamy gene that very much inhibits my other instincts.
Maybe there is no monogamy gene, but, I am most comfortable when living that way.

[hasty1]

Honestly, if there were no monogamy most of those things would still exist in one form or another.

No fears of rejection.
No fears that your partner was going to leave you for a same sex partner. - If you have picked a partner in a non monogamous society, then a different partner can be picked too, same or opposite sex.

No such thing as cheating.
No time spent "snooping" (invasion of privacy) into another person's mobile - Perhaps not for sexual reasons, but as a poster on a different thread posed, is spending your joint life savings on drugs, or gambling, or indeed another person not cheating in a different sense?

Also, I love having unprotected sex with my partner, the intimacy is wonderful, I'm sure he feels the same way, I would hate to give that up.

I also suspect that in a society where anyone could have sex with anyone else forums like this wouldn't exist, so perhaps there wouldn't be any posting of anything?

I'm not coming at this from any point of view, just trying to stand back and look at at the suggestion.

[Gearbox]

Yes all the negative emotions would not simply wash themselves away overnight. They never do! Those things get dealt with when responsibility for self is recognized, and without monogamy around to camouflage that responsibility, people might start dealing with themselves.

It amazes me how we as a society teach infants and children to take responsibility for their jealousy, possessiveness, spite, envy, abandonment issues, insecurities, bullying etc and deal with them coz they are negative and make for antisocial behavior as well as self harming traits. Yet all those things in adulthood are excused! They are fair game in the world of love & relationships.
Suddenly society teaches adults that all those negative emotions are to do with love, and relationships are designed to honour those negative things as well as the nice love bit.:confused:
Monogamy is NOT just for those who harbour all the negative stuff, but it is def something those who do will flock to. That's because they can get love, and protection against dealing with their issues by using some pseudo-moral codes to blame.


When we get home, we tell our live in ..partner whatever...”Oh ya, You’ll never guess who I bumped into today.? Ya, it was Mary and we went for a drink and a lovely love making session.”
That would strike HORROR into the hearts of many if their partner told them that!:eek2: It would bring to the surface a cocktail of negative emotions that they don't want to experience, don't want to deal with and don't want to take responsibility for. He would be called a slut, slag, whore etc for bringing those issues up, and called a cheat for breaking the rule that protects from that (if there's one in place). It has nothing to do with sex or love, but that's what many would convince themselves it was about.

IMO it WOULD be a wonderful world where nobody kids themselves and took an interest in being happy just to love.

[olmizzou42]

C'mon people! This is like John Lennon's song. "Imagine ALL the people..." IMAGINE! Get it?

[tenni]

Thanks biblkman for being open minded to the possibilities :)

darkeyes
Literature reflects the culture. Presently, the culture involves the romantic concept of coupledom. That is true. If the norm was different would not a new form literature arise?

Jem
Yes, I wonder if monogamy is genetic too and possibility some people have that gene and others do not? I suspect that is through social training/norms that monogamy comes into existence. The culture’s social conditioning seems a bit more logical to me as the cause of monogamy. I’m not going to say that our high divorce rates are due to monogamy not being genetic but that question remains. Serial monogamy may make people feel more comfortable in adhering to the social norms of coupling?

Hasty
I agree with you about unprotected sex being so much better. If science found cures for all STD’s that might be a big step forward to the argument that monogamy prevents you from getting STD.

As far as the fears existing whether monogamy was non existence, that is worth contemplating. Certainly, it would reduce anxiety though as far as relating to others. I wonder which of the fears really have their base in other behaviours (childhood experiences?) more so than sexual? How many arise primarily out of sexual practices? (as Gear infers) On another thread darkeyes raised the role of shame and being shamed. I wonder how significant shame plays in pressuring people to be monogamous? Certainly, it is there for some bisexuals but it may be shame of exposure and ridicule. (opps off topic?..not sure)

Olmizzou42
You’re not exactly the creative artsie type are you?...lol Imagine people going to the moon in 1910? Imagine same sex marriages in 1950? Opps someone dared to imagine and look what happened ;)

[darkeyes]

darkeyes
Literature reflects the culture. Presently, the culture involves the romantic concept of coupledom. That is true. If the norm was different would not a new form literature arise?


Yes it would.. art and the arts would reflect the world as it is, and to some degree as it had been which would be coloured by the standards and prevailing view of the day.. as art and the arts are now vvery substantially.. but would it be as inspirational, so brilliant and so varied because of the lack of pain and angst created by ur scenario? I would argue that it is at least questionable.. possibly it would be better and even more inspirational but I am quite sure that it would be much more dull and very diifferent... however...maybe a bit more dull is what we need humanity to be, hey? Of course possibly humanity will soon come up with new angsts and new pains to bring inspiration.. who can tell... but it would all be very different our culture and the art it spawns would it not?