Question for these of you in a m2m relationship

[Ladycat]

I'm new to all this as a result of my husband telling me he's bisexual. I'm trying to work out what this means to our marriage.

ive read that there are bisexuals who find both sexes attractive but choose to be faithful to whichever sex they are with, then there are others who need both sexes.

so if a husband says he has to experience m2m sex and there's a chance the marriage could be over because of this, is there a possibility it could go the other way around ie they could be in a m2m relationship but crave sex with woman too?

just wondering as most of the stories I read seem to be men with women struggling with the m2m urges opposed to the other way round.

[centillini]

yes i personally know of two. two friends of mine are in a relationship one guy with guy and one woman with a woman. but, the they both are bisexual, and human nature being what it is keep it from there mate. though both have brought the idea up to the mate. the mate, justisnt interested. so they exxeriance th same as other "hetero" people

[tenni]

Hi Lady
Yes, bisexual men in a relationship with another man may have urges or needs to be with a woman. Based upon what I have read on sites like this one and guys that I know, the issue is not usually as difficult when the relationship is f/m. Men are often accepting of non monogamy from their bi male partners than the reverse m/f. Similarly, m2m relationships are less strained if one strays and has sex with another man outside of the relationship. That is not to say that m2m relationships are not also monogamous. I recall a gay man asking about his bimale partner being with a woman and acknowledging the biman's desires. The gay man wanted to know how to discuss it with his partner to let him know that he could accept the bi man having physical sex with a woman but not emotional relationship with a woman too. Physical sex is just less of a conflict for many men(not all).

[Chris_t_boston]

I am currently monogamous with my wife. I have had m2m experiences (including while being married) but have chosen to be monogamous while I'm married.

[tenni]

I am currently monogamous with my wife. I have had m2m experiences (including while being married) but have chosen to be monogamous while I'm married.


Uh..I don't think that was her question?:confused:

[elian]

Hi Ladycat,

To answer your question I have seem the (male) partner of a gay man also post here with similar spousal concerns. "My long time boyfriend has recently told me he thinks he might be attracted to females, what do I do?" Is that the question you are asking?

Bisexual people are attracted to either gender, the attraction can be physical, emotional or both. As you said, some folks are happy in monogamous relationship, some want one of each gender and some truly want an open relationship. Personally if I came out to my wife as bi and she accepted me and tried to help me figure out just what I wanted I would be very grateful. Sometimes it is not easy as a man to admit you "like" other men and it's not easy for a woman to confront the idea of her husband being bisexual either.

It's not as if you don't have any say in the relationship, typically bisexual couples love each other very much. What, how, how much and with who.are things you can both work out. Ultimately though if one of you ends up being very unhappy it might mean you would be better off as friends in the long run. I am glad you are trying to understand rather then just walk out though. Your husband probably still loves you very much.

If there are children to consider then you may decide to stay together and forgo certain feelings for their benefit. Some husbands are happy when wife plays toys, but some wives just aren't interested in doing that.

[void()]

For some bisexuals they have days of wanting same sex relations. Other
days they like opposite sex relations. On third days they might like
having both together, or maybe just going it on their own a bit.

There is no purpose in assuming what someone else may, or may not
desire in a public Internet forum. Open and honest communication is
often the sacred and golden key. It sounds as though that may be the
case in this situation.

Apologies if this seems to A) avoid an answer B) be rude and impolite. No
intention of either exists in writing this reply. In fact, writing
this reply was something of an exercise in being realistic, objective.

[DrBimind]

If it helps....I'm a bisexual man married for 35+years to the love of my life, my woman, my best friend, mother of our children (grown now) and partner in life. She had similar concerns but with trust, open and very honest communications, and being involved in and out of the bedroom with some of my male partners, she knows that I'm not going anywhere. I'm respectful of her feelings and now she truly enjoys watching, being part of MMF sometimes and enjoys the comrade of like minded people we know in the lifestyle. I didn't know the word Bisexual early on but had urges, experiences and guilt until I finally understood who/what I truly am with wifey's help and understanding. I'm just a normal Human Being as we all are. We're are as different from each other as we are similar.

[jem_is_bi]

I am a bisexual male in a long term relationship (8+ yrs) with a bisexual male. My partner has had periods when he needed sex with a female. I always encouraged him to enjoy the experience, but to call me when he has an itch they could not scratch. I knew those females would only accept exclusive rights to him. So, it was just a matter of time before his need for m2m, would mean he was back with me. First, he would cheat on them with me, then leave them for me.
I still have cravings for female sex, but not enough to overcome my desire for sex with him. We are both very independent and tolerate each others needs. We have no exclusive arrangement even though we are very close to that.
Maybe someday, I will not be able resist my desires for a female. Women are so beautiful.

[bi4asplay]

Good morning Ladycat. I am a Bi man that is mostly attracted to women. Before my wife passed I had men that I played with, but always with her there and most of the time involved in the play.. If I were in a relationship with a man he would have to be BI as well. If I were to have sex with a woman I would want him to also be involved. However I could not see that happening as I am not turned on by a man alone and do not play with a man without a lady there. Sure a nice body or cock on a guy is nice to look at and will give me the urge, but I do not go there alone.

[Ladycat]

Thanks all. I'm ok with my husband being bisexual and I'm happy to explore this with him and find ways of scratching his itch so to speak but I'm not sure if he's happy with that. He's only recently admitted these feelings to himself and doesn't have many answers himself and so getting him to talk about it is difficult.
at the moment he is thinking in black and white ie he leaves to explore m2m sex/relationships or stays but potentially never gets to experience whats pulling him. The other issue is he isnt sure if he's actually gay not bi. I believe as he still enjoys female sex he is bisexual. But then who am I to try and guess.