New member/looking for friends & advise

[whichway06]

I am new to this forum stuff but it looks like I might find some answers and friends here. I consider myself bisexual even though I have not had sex with a guy. Not that I do not want to, believe me I think about it a lot at times. I think I first started thinking about sex with a guy when I was in my early teens. But being raised cathlic I was very fearful of these thoughts becuase my parents talked about it being the work of the devil. So I grew up thinking I was the work of the devil until I left home got married and had a marraige I sware was the work of the devil. My first wife was not a nice person, the only reason I stayed married with her for eighteen years was my two girls. My first wife is bisexual but she never had the respect to talk to me about it, rather she did that sneak around thing for years and had sex with several woman. I would try and talk to her about it but she never wanted to, always denied have sex with others.
At about the same time we had a friend that was gay, he asked me several times if I would have sex with him. I did'nt because I was married and could not even though she was having sex outside our marraige. Trust me, I wanted to have sex with this guy very much, he was a great person inside and out. I finally had enough of her and had to ask her to leave, so it was just me and my two daughters, they were in their teens so it was not to hard, I had always taught them to be independent. Even though I became single I did not look to have any sex with guys, I do not know why.
But then I met my wife of today, great gal, I have never talked to her about having an interst in bisex until this past week. We got into talking about my exwife, my wife always thought I divorsed her because she was bisexual. I told her that the reason I sent her on her way was because she did not have any respect for our marraige and that it was the sneaking around not that she is bisexual. Her reply was, oh, well some couples continue being married even if one is bisexual or gay.
That is when I asked her if she has ever had any bisexual thoughts, she said that she never has and just does not have a sexual interst in woman. She said she is among the few woman that have not had these thoughts and referred to a study that showed a large amount of woman that say they think about bisex. Then she asked me if I ever thought about having sex with a guy. I had no problem telling her yes that I do wonder what it's like and that when I was younger I was very tempted twice with my gay friend. Two weeks ago I had a very nice looking and very polite gay man ask me out, I replied to him by saying, you need to ask my wife. I told this to my wife and she asked me why did'nt you go for drinks with him? I told her because I am married to you and I would not do anything behind your back. Then she brought up this guy again and asked me if any other guys hit on me lately, why I do not know but I did tell her that if I was single I would have had sex with this guy, I could not believe I said that to her, I have always been afraid to even indicate to her that I want bisex. All she did when I told her that was smile at me.
Sorry this is so long but I thought some back ground on myself would be good. So now what do I do? She told me that a lot of people wonder what gay sex is like and said there is nothing wrong with these thoughts because she believes they are normal. She is ok with my thoughts of wondering what it's like to have sex with a guy. The problem is I am scrared to death to ask her what she thinks about me actually having sex with a guy? The thing is I really want to, I would love to meet a couple where the guy is bisexual.
I would like her to be able to talk with some woman that are straight but their husbands are bisexual, I think that would help her gain understanding. I do not want her to think that because I am bi that I want her to be, either you are or you are'nt and she is'nt, I would never ask her to do any thing she does not want to do. But if any one has some thoughts on this please talk with me. Thanks and I hope I find some friends here and I hope my wife will be open to reading this forum also.

[Mrs.F]

Hi WhichWay,

Glad you have joined this community here. It really has been a Godsend for some of us who had nowhere else to turn and like you were looking for answers.
I am a straight wife of a bi husband. I did not take the news as well as your wife has...so your a step ahead already. I joined here along with him (he was already a member here) to help understand his feelings, learn exactly what bisexual meant and what it was going to mean to our marriage. What I found was NOT at all what I expected. Everything I feared, I learned I didn't need to fear. And my husband has told me that I am the love of his life and I'm most important in his life. Whatever happens from here on out are decisions made by both of us. We are in this together as husband and wife. Talking is such a huge part of the whole thing. You have to let her know ALL of your feelings. It's something you can both learn together and deal with it together.
I must add that I learned alot about myself joining here also. I have NO interest in women at all. But I did learn alot about sexuality and that I needed to open my mind to all possibilities. Our relationship has become so strong because of this. I'm happy now that he's bisexual. I am very proud of him and I love him dearly.
I think that telling her that you DO want to have sex with a man is not going to be a surprise to her at all. You've already told most of it....now then next step. She may already have thought about it and realized it and is just waiting for you to tell her. Sometimes people's reactions are not what we think they will be.

Hugs to you! :)

[arana]

Welcome to the group WhichWay!!! :bounce: I hope you have some luck here as well as fun. Your wife sounds like a great lady and I commend you for your commitment to your marriage and talking to her first, instead of just sneaking around.

[onewhocares]

Welcome WhichWay,

I am the straight wife of a bi man. As Mrs. F. has said,you are a step ahead of many of the couples on here. My instinct, based on what information you have given is that your wife may be very open to your develping a relationship with a man. To me open and honest communication is the best thing you can do for each other and your marriage. Our marriage (20 years) has never been better since we have joined this site and opened our minds.

If you wife would like to speak to someone, please do not hesitate to call upon me, I would be more than happy to help another as those who have helped me when I first came on this fine site.

Belle

[whichway06]

I think I found the place to be to make some friends and have like minded people to talk with. Plus a place where there are woman that have bi husbands I believe can be a great help to my wife. Thank you for responding, I am looking forward to the next two days. My wife and I will be working on the house together, just the two of us so I think it will be a good time to talk about my desires and how I feel about her.
She is a great gal and I love her very much and one of my most important desires is to get even closer to her. I believe the more she understands me being bi will allow us to be closer. I feel like a little kid in a candy store, that's how excited I am to be able to talk openly with her about being bi. It has been a real huge relief now that she knows that I have a desire to have bisex. I guess the next big thing is will she be ok with me having a male friend? I will find out over the next two days. Thanks again lady's for your respones.

whichway

[wyldguy]

While I'm far from an expert here, he's something you may relate to and maybe some others.

I am a new member. However, with that said, I am one of the rare ones who had my wife introduce me to all of this. If you had told me several years ago I would wind up being intimate with another guy, or asked me out, I probable would have gotten sick to my stomach, let alone pissed off.

My wife worked in an office building where a lot of gay men also just happened to work. A couple of them were also friends with some of her co-workers. After a weekend, it became a comical routine of sorts, that they would saunter over from their office into their workspace during the Monday hours, and would brag about their exploits and weekend trists, describing positions, sizes, thicknesses etc. (I found out about this later)

One day she brought it home and asked me if I had ever been with another guy before? I looked at her dead square in the face and replied "you're not really serious, are you?" "Where in the hell did that come from?" When she saw my look, it pretty much answered her question right then and there. Then she asked, "well, have you ever thought about it? With anybody?"

I told her I had never so much had given anything like that, any consideration, whatsoever, at anytime in my life. I am very opened sexually. She knows and knew this about me, so she continued with "I think it would be pretty hot, especially with some of the guys you hang around, that is, if they'd ever do something like that.

I just shook my head, was speechless and walked off, thinking that would be the end to the subject matter. Later on, while we were in bed, she started getting aroused, verbalizing scenarios she had obviously been running through her mind. I continued to let her ramble on about all these fantasies starting to produce themselves. I could not believe how worked up she was getting. At this point, I really wasn't into the scenarios or on an equal mindset with her, I was just enjoying the moment. She had several mind blowing and side splitting orgasms before we took a break.

And then it hit me. I could tell that these images within her and their ability to arouse and stimulate her the way that they did was nothing short of a new level for her.

After a few more weeks of this, I began to get aroused as well, because of how hot and worked up she would get, and I began to make suggestions as to with whom and what we would do.

After a couple of months of this, it eventually wound up being fulfilled with a a married friend across the street. Evidently, while I was working a couple of hours overtime one day, she was having problems while moving a coupe of items in the front yard. He came over and offered to help. After he finished, they had a few beers and some conversation which was still ongoing when I pulled up. I had a few beers as well, but was not aware of their original dialogue they started out with. He left after a while and we went inside. Later she told me that they had been discussing his wife being gone all the time (she was a flight attendant) and eventually, the conversation turned to one of him disclosing a couple of things regarding what he did while she was gone for fun, along with his sexuality.

She told me "he's had a couple of encounters with some married guys from the gym." I couldn't believe it. I had known him for a while and never would have guessed. Later on, another very volcanic session ended in pure ecstasy and exhaustion, with us falling asleep in each others arms, totally spent.

A couple of days later, while the kids were off and away for the weekend, we had a get together, some pretty stiff drinks, loose conversation and I did the grill work. After dinner, one thing led to another and she put her hand on the back of neck and pushed me down in front of him while slipping one side of his shorts with the other. After they came off, he slid on a condom, then she got down there with me and we took turns. It was definitely hot watching her, knowing how aroused I knew she was getting. I'll just leave it there.

I'm not doing this as some kind of letter writing contest to "Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me" but just reminiscing of how I got to where I am today.

It's risky stuff if you don't play it safe. It's a given that the majority of fantasies for most heterosexuals male or female, in this day and age, (except in some porno somewhere) always factor in another woman being involved, whether it's his idea, hers or mutual. The "menage a trois," the infamous "threesome" that every hot blooded guy and a lot of gals think about. This is almost universally accepted. Or another couple, where the only same sex play would be the girls.

It has been my experience personally, and probably for a lot of others out there, that if a woman would ever (most women anyway) would ever fantasize about bringing another guy into the mix, most men are threatened by this and generally won't even want to hear about it or consider it. Needless to say, a lot of women who would consider the guy on guy thing, and either watch or participate, it's very rare to have them dislose it, let alone find one who may even be willing to participate.

The very fact that you have a partner who is understanding and the few who have posted before me are the not so widely recognized and a rare breed.

The fact that I have since broken off from her has nothing whatsoever to do with our relationship, sexually. Those are other unresolved issues.

All I can say is good luck to you both and I hope your level of experience will be as erotic as mine and my wifes.