Just found out my boyfriend is bi

[ash22]

So I just found out my boyfriend is bisexual, not from him telling me but from me finding things on our computer. Weve been together over 3years and him having an interest in men was the last thing I.thought I would ever have to worry about ,so it came as bit of a shock. But even so I am open minded and willing to make sure he feels comfortable about his sexuality and can.be open and honest about it with me,rather than him hiding it. I found out he had been recently posting pictures and chatting with other men and planning to meet up with them to.have sex. I understand hes curious but it worries me .im just not too sure about how to talk to him about it ,i find it a bit awkward because I dont knw how hes feeling. My first reaction was crying because somehow I felt betrayed even though he hasnt done anything. I want him to be able to stay in a closed relationship with me ,but still.be able to.be himself and express how hes feeling .he says he wouldnt ever do anything with a man but I cant be sure. Im glad he has been able to answer some of my trillion questions ,but I dnt know where to go from here ?:/ we have both decided that we want to stay together cos we both love eachothr so much, but im js not sure how hes going to respond to.how hes feeling. I want to.be able to help him knw its okay ,but im.nt sure waht I can do ? Im nt keen on him sleeping with any one else while we are together. Please js any advice on how to talk with him and waht to do would be great !?

[hasty1]

Hi Ash, I'm the partner of a bi guy and it sounds to me like you're doing pretty well already. There's plenty you can do within your relationship, but first you have to start communicating effectively. You love each other and want to stay together so there's no hurry, unless he tells you otherwise. My partner doesn't always like talking about it, but it's getting easier. Ultimately we'd like to have threesomes with another bi guy, but until we can get to the point where we can discuss things consistently without upset or confusion we both think that we should wait. There's other things that you can do in your relationship that might help, sharing gay/bisexual porn, using toys, strapon's etc, or (something I've recently discovered) you taking on a more assertive role in the bedroom, but it will all depend on his particular brand of bisexuality, something he may still be discovering for himself. He may not have the answers to your questions yet but he's lucky he has someone who cares enough to have found this site and is looking for understanding and help. So, talking and communication is the key, but just to warn you I found that it can take some time and sometimes it can feel like 2 steps forward and 1 back. One of the things that really helped me to this point is trying to put myself in his shoes, that is trying to understand how my own sexuality is affected by being in this relationship, and I am a very sexual person. Also, understanding how my fantasies affect my love for and my relationship with him, short answer is they don't, they're fantasies. I'm not saying that his same sex attraction is a fantasy, but it will be something that he fantasises about even if it never goes further than that. From what I've read on on forums etc, bisexuals form almost every kind of relationship that you can think of from monogamous to poly, but so do straight people, in the end it comes down to the two of you and how you want/need your relationship to be.

[ash22]

Thankyou that helped alot(: it good to know theres people willing to offer advice .i have no idea what to expect so il just see how things go . i think its just the shock of it all that has got to me the most i just never saw it coming and didnt know how to react because i know its such a difficult topic for both of us.thankyou(: oh and sorry for all the fullstops i had much more important things on my mind than punctuation ,and yes im a teenaged girl on a cellphone so you got that right.