Transition from Bi to Gay

[Rob1863]

I was engaged in sexual activity today with a female, very pretty, early twenties with a great body and she was riding my cock with her back towards me and facing away which I asked her to do. I found myself totally disengaged from her, looking at my watch wishing and fantasising that she wasn't a girl at all but an older guy and I was buried deep, bareback in his arse. I am coming to terms slowly with my bisexuality having separated recently from my wife after confessing several years ago to having sex with older guys and still fantasising about them. I am seeing a councillor for regular therapy regarding my sexuality who is helping considerably but now my shackles have been broken from my wife I feel that my sexual feelings towards women has all but ceased. I have also spoken to a couple of my close female friends about my sexuality who have been great and it has been liberating to 'come out' as a bi male. The only way I could get off today was to fuck her doggystyle while imagining that she was the older guy that I craved her to be. Has anybody else mentally made that transition from being staunch 'I love women and guys' to thinking hang on I think I'm actually gay?

[Yoyome100]

You're not alone.

[Gearbox]

I've had that kinda sex with both really great looking m&f's and I fantasied about them being the opposite gender etc. They just wasn't what my sexual g-spot wanted at the time.
You may just want to have those older males coz that's what excites you the most at the mo? Or you may just be gay?
Doesn't matter one bit! Go where your urges take you and enjoy it!:)

[Rob1863]

I've always fantasised over older guys my first sexual experience was with a guy in his 50's when I was 23 and it was everything I expected it to be and more. Like many others I can't see myself emotionally involved with another guy but I find the sex to be exciting and totally fulfilling and very comfortable also I take on a passive role which actually surprised me.

[Gearbox]

I think much of what we learn about ourselves sexually can be a surprise. We can't plan what we'll like, but just find out what we like. We are given our sexual buttons from somewhere or something, and that is THAT! No refunds! No appeals! So may as well get on with it, and like it!

Do you really need a councilor to tell you things that your cock, arse, mouth, bod, & mind knows already?:tongue:

[whispering]

Perhaps that is a passing feeling...I've had various spells like that. But I've also met and chatted with quite a few men who have become exclusively homosexual after long periods of being bi. In some cases, this seems to do with meeting partners that really fulfill them, but in many it really is a change of preference--they're turned on by men a lot, and are hardly aroused by women.

[bradf52]

Gearbox is my kinda guy!! Too bad we live a continent apart!! Like older men??;)

Anyway, In my case no I don't think you go from bi to gay, you are one or the other. I've been bi since puberty. I did have thoughts of being gay. Actually I really thought I was gay on a couple of occasions. Yes I did, at both times in my life about 20 years apart test that theory. Luckily I was living in the San Francisco Bay Area at the time and had no problems finding mates. They didn't pan out! I'm Bi, maybe more towards the gay side but really bi. I have never needed the emotional connect with my boyfriends.

I have known men that said they were bi but actually were gay and came out as such eventually. So if you have tried and gone that route and ended up back to square one then you are probably bi. If you think you are gay then you need more emotional connect with your guy. You should at least attempt to find out one way or the other, for your own sake.

Most NOT ALL bi men are more likely to be sexually bi but emotionally attached to the woman in there life. I have known only 2 men in my life that can have emotional connections with both sexes. They were both I think very lucky!! I have always wanted that but never did.

Bottom line I think you are only going through a phase, enjoy it!!

[tenni]

"I have known only 2 men in my life that can have emotional connections with both sexes."

I didn't realize that guys like me are that rare....both physically and emotionally attracted to men and women.

[Mr. Suck]

Most NOT ALL bi men are more likely to be sexually bi but emotionally attached to the woman in there life. I have known only 2 men in my life that can have emotional connections with both sexes. They were both I think very lucky!! I have always wanted that but never did. Someone needs to get out more. Most bisexual men can and do have emotional or romantic connections with both genders, and we are not just emotionally or romantically attracted to women only. Bisexual men who claim that they are not emotionally or romantically attracted to men at all have issues with internalized biphobia and accepting their own bisexuality. I also have noticed how on this site people will claim that they are a Kinsey 3 but claim that they only fall in love with one gender when in reality if you are a Kinsey 3 you fall in love and have romantic attractions to both genders.

[Rob1863]

I think much of what we learn about ourselves sexually can be a surprise. We can't plan what we'll like, but just find out what we like. We are given our sexual buttons from somewhere or something, and that is THAT! No refunds! No appeals! So may as well get on with it, and like it!

Do you really need a councilor to tell you things that your cock, arse, mouth, bod, & mind knows already?:tongue:

I don't need a councillor to tell me that your'e right, I sought help from a councillor to help me come to terms with what I believe I am, also to speak to a totally impartial, unbiased none judging professional to piece together my life to help me come to conclusions. I always use the comparison if there was 2 beds side by side, in one there is a naked gay guy in the other is a naked woman, if you had to choose then which one would you get in with…I would get in with the guy based on the fact that I prefer sex with men…does that make me homosexual, yes I think it does.

[Gearbox]

I don't need a councillor to tell me that your'e right, I sought help from a councillor to help me come to terms with what I believe I am, also to speak to a totally impartial, unbiased none judging professional to piece together my life to help me come to conclusions. I always use the comparison if there was 2 beds side by side, in one there is a naked gay guy in the other is a naked woman, if you had to choose then which one would you get in with…I would get in with the guy based on the fact that I prefer sex with men…does that make me homosexual, yes I think it does.
I won't guess at that until you've had your man fun for a while.:tongue: