Time for a little self disclosure...

[csrakate]

My name is Kate and I am a Chat-a-holic!!! Now before anyone comes down on me for making light of a 12-step program, please know that I am a big believer in such programs and I only wish there was one in place for chat room addictions. I could certainly use one about now!!

It has become quite apparent to me that I spend an inordinate amount of time in the chat room. That would be ok except that I have also discovered that I am ignoring some very "real" things going on in my life outside of chat that need my full attention. By not facing those things, I find myself in the midst of a personal crisis right now, one that only I can make right by facing it head on instead of putting all my time and energy into other things.

As many of you know, I am facing the “empty nest”…and while I find that I have been able to fill a void by chatting here and playing “mum” to many, I never realized that I was avoiding “redefining myself” as to who and what I am at this point in my life. Not only that, my son will only be at home for a few more weeks before he starts college and I need to give him my full attention at this time.

So, with that being said, I wanted to let you all know that I will be spending a little less time chatting for the time being. I love each and every one of you and find my chats with you all to be some of the best times I have had lately…but my real life beckons and I must ensure that I am being the best “ME” that I can be.

Thank you all for you love and support…and I WILL see you all in chat…but a little less. And if I may impart any wisdom from my experience, please don’t use chat to fill a void or to avoid reality. Chat can be very wonderful…but only if it ENHANCES your life and does not BECOME your life.

Hugs,
Kate

[littlerayofsunshine]

I am sure all of us understand and many of us can totally relate your situation to some aspect of our lives. I too, had started to feel the addiction of chat, when I had first become a member. I stopped visiting chat for a while and then came back, I got the same warm welcome as I always had, My friends didn't forget about me, and quite a few missed me. That is a wonderful thing and shows how wonderful the people (our friends) are here. You being the caring and friendly human being that you are, will definatley leave a void, but your spot and your friends will be here for you like they always have. We never got to chat much, but you have always been a genuine person. Take care hun and come back whenever you can. I wish you the best.

[Spicy]

I wish you all the best honey. Although I have not had the chance to chat with you even though I myself seldom visit the chatroom remember we all have wonderful friends here and you are welcome any time.

Hugs,
Spicy

[Mrs.F]

Well Kate,
As most say "You gotta do what you gotta do"! :rolleyes: It is very easy to get sucked into this world on the 'net and forget about the real one that sits around you. I am just as guilty of it. When things get tough and difficult for you (or anyone) it's easier to sit here and talk to others and have a good time. But then when you leave, the real world is still waiting!
Although I'm not in chat much anymore, it's just a normal thing to enter the room and see you there. I'm sure you will be missed but as you said, your not leaving, just not visiting as much. And that's ok. You need to take care of yourself and your family first and foremost.
Take care Kate and I hope that all things go well for you. :bigrin:

[onewhocares]

Dearest Kate,

I do believe we all have been in your shoes, perhaps not the empty nest as you are now going through, but the same in nature. I do believe that we all come here as we have found a place, a place of comfort, understanding, tolernace, acceptence. Were honestly, we can take a break from the "real outside world" and join our friends, be they old or new and be who we are.

I too have found that I was spending a tad too much time here and I believe that is because the people here have become and important part of our lives. It is tthose amoung you who gave me the advice and comfort when I was in need and that led me to the wonderful place I am in my life. I think that although you will miss your time here, the time you will have with your son will be so much more important in your relationship with him. Never let it be said that a young man does not need his mom. They may not wish to admit it, but they do.

One thing that I discovered as I am writing this is, that I value the time I have spent in the room with you in the past, and now, each and every moment that you spend with us will be of greater value. I guess the job of great purveyor of wisdom and common sense has a vacancy, or at least a part time position is becoming available. I doubt that there is anyone who is qualitied to fill your shoes. An emperor perhaps.

All the best to you in enjoying this new stage in your life.

Belle

[arana]

I think a lot of us know how easily it is to get sucked into chat and not want to leave it. It's friendly, comforting and much easier to handle than the real world. It's cheap entertainment with good friends and no dress code. Bring your own food and beverage and you have a party.

As has been said, you will be missed dearly Kate. It's very strange to go to chat and not have crsakate somewhere on the site. But I am happy that you are enjoying your son and the time you have left before he leaves. I'd much rather be the one missing you than you regretting the loss of time you could have had. Your children grow up too fast as it is and then they have the nerve to get their own lives and you begin seeing less and less of them. (For some parents I know that's not true and just a dream they have) I know you put your career on hold to devote your full attention to your families needs. I hope now you are able to start creating and living some of your own dreams and fantasies. Your son isn't the only one on his way to a new beginning.

Cheers Kate!

[chook]

Kate, I know exactly what you are saying and its so easy to lose track of reality, I have been in your shoes and let real life slide by, I too was a chat-aholic but I forced myself to spend less and less time in chat...(some might even say I havent tried hard enough) but, hey, I like you have made some wonderfull friends in here and I came to the realisation that I just couldnt spend day after day waiting for them to come online.

But knowing you the way I do I'm sure you'll come to the right decision for yourself and I wish you all the love and luck in the world.........but please dont become a total stranger :)

Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[texasman6172003]

Hi Kate, We will miss you being in chat as much as usual. But as the other's have said you need to do what have to do. Your son's welfare should be first in line. Before long there will come a time when he won't be coming home so often. He will git a place of his own to live. So spend whatever time you need to with him. W e will be here when ever you can come in.. As a person who lost a son at chilbirth, i would love to be having to choose between spending time with freinds or with my son. Kate we all love you,but we will be here when you return. And we know you will :) . So spend time with your family. Your family here in chat will be awaiting your return. Take care Kate...

[codybear3]

Hi Kate...It is good to know that you listen to your heart and will be there for your son before he departs. Although I do not usually go into the chat room (cuz I type too slow) I have been there before in lurk mode and can easily see why some people can get "lost" in the world of chat. As with all things in life, take your doses (of chatting in this case) in moderation. Good luck Kate...We'll all chat soon... :paw: :paw:

[jazzer]

Hi Kate I know what you are saying and at times I have been tempted to spend too much time in the chatroom. However, I still enjoy a very full life away from the chatroom and being retired and with all the kids grown up and gone, I do have the luxury of being able to spend time there.
When the nest becomes empty, all you have left is you and your spouse and without the other distractions that children at home bring, this can be a defining moment for many couples. You will find that the depth of your relationship will be tested like never before.
My wife and I survived the test and we are closer now than ever before in our lives and enjoying it to the full. I do hope that you and your hubby can do the same Kate and I wish you both well for a long and happy (and spicy) life together as "empty nesters".

Love ya Kate :) :2cents:

[bigregory]

Dearest Kate,

I do believe we all have been in your shoes, perhaps not the empty nest as you are now going through, but the same in nature. I do believe that we all come here as we have found a place, a place of comfort, understanding, tolernace, acceptence. Were honestly, we can take a break from the "real outside world" and join our friends, be they old or new and be who we are.

I too have found that I was spending a tad too much time here and I believe that is because the people here have become and important part of our lives. It is tthose amoung you who gave me the advice and comfort when I was in need and that led me to the wonderful place I am in my life. I think that although you will miss your time here, the time you will have with your son will be so much more important in your relationship with him. Never let it be said that a young man does not need his mom. They may not wish to admit it, but they do.

One thing that I discovered as I am writing this is, that I value the time I have spent in the room with you in the past, and now, each and every moment that you spend with us will be of greater value. I guess the job of great purveyor of wisdom and common sense has a vacancy, or at least a part time position is becoming available. I doubt that there is anyone who is qualitied to fill your shoes. An emperor perhaps.

All the best to you in enjoying this new stage in your life.

Belle
What she said.
Remember that in the blink of an eye he will be showing you your grandchild.
And as a boy i can say that yes MOM is the one thing you can count on.
For anything..... :)

[BI BOYTOY]

hey kate,i want to wish you well,i do agree with you, i to find myself stuck to the computer sceen a little to much sometimes. i is impotant to spend time with your son before he goes to start his life. you take it easy and ill se you in chat sometime :bigrin: :bigrin: :bigrin:

[Nara_lovely]

Glad you made contact, and of course...look forward to chatting again one day. All in your timing of course.

Yes, kids are so valuable. Yes..so are you!!!!

On ya for your journey, decisions and caring!

[maslowstudent]

Mum,

We'll be fine. You'll be a little missed, but you won't be gone ALWAYS, will 'ya?

So, how long before your son's room's avail--- I mean, how long before he leaves for school?

Maslow

[Herbwoman39]

Kate;

I'm a recovering chat addict myself having spent more time than I care to think about on Prodigy Classic in The Vampire Pub and Peaceful Warrior Inn :(

Go spend time with your son. We'll all be right here when you get back.