I Think I Finally Understand The Other Side [Archive]

View Full Version : I Think I Finally Understand The Other Side

RavenEye

Mar 30, 2013, 2:11 AM

What with all the news of gay marriage there are a bunch of articles out. I was reading one about FaceBook telling the users to support it by uploading a photo of them kissing their partners. As I was going through the pictures they were of course adorable. But some I was looking at where there was a skinny person and a fat person kissing I was disgusted. I got befuddled by this because I'm the most loving person I know. Then it got me thinking about that Superbowl commercial, with the attractive model and the nerdy and chunky guy. I remember watching it and yelling "Ewwww that's nasty!" along with the rest of my family. Then I got thinking some more and I said to myself "It's not that I'm against it, I just don't want to see it." I felt disgusted by that comment I made because were have we all heard that before? I'm not sure if it's because I used to be an obese child and hated myself and (I was different back then) hated other people because it made me feel better about myself and me being obese then. Or perhaps it's because of what society deems as the norm. Either way this mentality of mine needs to be changed. What do you all think of this?

goldenfinger

Mar 30, 2013, 2:35 AM

Unfortunately, I think it's something many people struggle with, myself incl. But I'm slooowly coming around.

VZR1800

Mar 30, 2013, 3:38 AM

darkeyes

Mar 30, 2013, 7:24 AM

Birds of a feather flock together. I am tall and skinny myself, and do not tolerate obesity at all. I would have no problem kissing another guy built as I am. Fat guy, fugetaboutit, not happening. I go to great lengths to maintain my build as I am, and will not tolerate those who just do not care.
Very pleased for ya! Being obese is no sign that peeps don't care and many are so for reasons wich have nowt to do with overeating.. u've just expressed the view that u don't care in ways that a str8 bigot wud 'bout a gay or bi person.. so I wudn't brag bout it if I wer u... wtf r u 2 tolerate or not tolerate a person cos of his or her weight and appearance? We fight against intolerance every day of our lives cos of who we r... "fat" peeps who r bi or gay have it bad enuff for being bi or gay without ther own kind looking down ther noses at them for being overweight... u just sound like long, lanky drip of misery and intolerance 2 me... 0 out of 10 for compassion... 10 out of 10 for stupidity and ignorance.

zigzig

Mar 30, 2013, 7:52 AM

I think everybody get's racist, intolerance feelings, because of animal instinct or society pressure.

Gearbox

Mar 30, 2013, 8:19 AM

Seeing two people kissing somehow invites us to mentally take part in the act. That's great if we find them attractive! Not so great if we don't!
That's why some hetero males cringe seeing two men kiss, but get hard when it's two women. But if those women were 'unattractive' to them, they'd prob cringe at that too.:rolleyes:

So being confronted with a pic of two people kissing can be an inspiration or a violation depending on your sexual/aesthetic preferences. That's why FB fails on a massive scale once again there.lol

void()

Mar 30, 2013, 9:17 AM

Honestly? I believe sometimes there are a lot of people talking just to talk, who say nothing of any value. Let me temper this because I understand it seems harsh. When I love a person, it is a love for the whole person on an as is basis. Find myself thinking it would be nice if more felt that way.

As such I really have difficulty in comprehending what point you're attempting to discuss. What is the subject, again? People on Facebook posting pictures of them kissing their partners? Obese folks hating the world? You cow towing to socialistic pressure and making a wise crack? Since I'm not really able to get beyond a wall of static 'buzz clips' and sound bytes, trouble comes in figuring out what is being asked.

Slow down, focus on your main idea or thought. Create an outline if you need to.And yes, I'm being serious and hopefully helpful. I am not trying to be mean.

12voltman59

Mar 30, 2013, 9:44 AM

I have to take issue with something someone said here regarding if someone is overweight and if so---that the person who is overweight "Doesn't Care"

I guess that many people hold this view---but that is an out of date and erroneous way of looking at the problem of obesity---because medical researchers are now finding that with all the sorts of things being put in our food--like too much sodium and surely way too much sugar not just in food but what we drink as well----and those food and drink items marketed by huge ad campaigns and PR campaigns that what is put in our food is just fine for us.

But with all those things being put in the food-----it is now coming clear----all of that stuff is killing us and when we consume it---it actually changes our body chemistry that makes us want more of it and a process is started that sets us up to remain overweight, packing on more pounds over time.

I am of short and stocky build naturally---I have always worked out---but I did like to eat things not always the best for me---but I did not question that things I ate was bad for me--since I was sold and bought the line that it was just fine to consume it as most of us do so over the years--I put on extra weight--probably my worst offending things I did was to drink too much pop and other sugary drinks, something I no longer do.

Of course we all have looks of others that attract us or repel us---but to dismiss someone because they might be too short or have some extra weight on them on a summary basis----I find that to be kind of a sad thing since we are much more than our exterior appearance.

I guess since I am short and chubby----I would not meet the standards set by some---that's Ok though--at least you know what they are about and for me--I don't need to waste anytime dealing with someone who runs that way.

tenni

Mar 30, 2013, 10:08 AM

From my perspective, there are two things going on. The first is exposure creating "normalcy". We are exposed to more traditional values of a man and an attractive woman kissing. That is what is put out there by the media (Hollywood). That is the stereotype. I saw something the other day on Facebook where an image of Captain Kurk was kissing a black woman (probaby Ohura). When the original series was being run, this was considered shocking and ground breaking. Although forty? years later it is not the stereotype to show interracial kissing over two attractive white male/female kissing it is accepted now as within the parameters of normal to show inter racial kissing.

The second may be frequency of exposure altering perception and tolerance (Ok maybe very similar to my first paragraph) Two men kissing is far less tolerated than two women kissing based in probably heterosexual male homophobia. We see women kissing all the time. I just saw it on the Toronto subway when a group of young girls were saying goodbye as they left a friend on the subway and the main group got off the subway. They each kissed each other on the lips briefly in parting. Not a distraction to all of the rest of the people. Two young boys kissing as a means of saying good bye might have raised a few eyebrows regardless whether they were handsome studly guys or not. Frequency of obese people in the media is rare and even then usually shown as buffoons. There is one TV show with the leads as two obese people (Mike & Molly?). It is a comedy but the two leads are not treated like buffoons. I don't think that I have seen much passionate French kissing from them though with Mike on top of Molly.

The Young Pretender

Mar 30, 2013, 11:02 AM

elian

Mar 30, 2013, 12:04 PM

Unless you've walked in someone else's shoes you truly cannot understand what it is like to be that person. It takes an open mind, time and patience to look past the physical differences and see the people underneath. The difference with me is that whether or not I wanted it, I was FORCED to have an open mind.

It is painful to let go of things you don't want to change, when I was forced to do that not only did my world not fall apart, but my sphere of understanding and compassion for others grew larger. I learned that there was more to life than just my own point of view, and that constructive debate can be healthy as long as all people are respected as a part of creation.

It took me 35 years to learn that lesson, I guess I shouldn't be so impatient with other people that they can't learn it overnight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-awVQkTeVE

VZR1800

Mar 30, 2013, 2:42 PM

I do not mean to imply that I totally hate obese people, I have several friends who are in that category. And they'll remain friends forever I hope. It's just that here in Oklahoma, there is so much obesity, after awhile you get sick of seeing it. People so totally overweight they will not even walk anymore, got to use those stupid powered contraptions at the store. And they and their mate are pushing around two shopping carts loaded to the gills with stuff that makes you obese. It's disgusting, I just want to yell out f--king stop eating you pig! I know some people are overweight for medical reasons, but Oklahoma has the reputation of being the fattest state in the U.S. And I see it every day, and it's sickening. My doctor says it is always a pleasure for him to see me because I am one of the few patients he has that actually puts some effort into taking care of myself. First time I visited him for a full physical, he was amazed that I am the age I am and require absolutely no medications for anything. He sent me away with no prescription and he said it is not normal here.

I work with a guy who drinks two 2 liter bottles of Dr. Pepper every day. He buys the snack machine out of junk food. He was walking through the building yesterday with two iced honey buns, two packs of donuts, and three candy bars. It was all gone in an hour, and he was hitting the machine again not long after that. Yes, he is a fat mfer. And he does not have to be, he just does not care. His wife is the same, seen em at the grocery store one day stocking up, basket full of stuff that I avoid like the plague. It's typical in Oklahoma and I just wonder what people like that are thinking. I lived in California for 26 years, and this level of obesity was not present there.

I weigh 161 pounds most days. Early last year I hit a maximum for me of 185. Felt like a walking refrigerator, hated it. Started putting some extra effort into my workouts, and stopped drinking soda entirely, lots of water. Stopped eating sweets and cut back to one meal a day, never felt better. I just cannot imagine what it must be like to weigh 300 pounds or more and have to get out of bed in the morning. Feel sorry for the bed.

I would be a lot more tolerant if it were not for the fact that it is just so IN YOUR FACE here.

void()

Mar 31, 2013, 12:39 AM

Well, some do the best they are able. Meaning that some literally can not afford to buy 'healthy' food. And yes, I understand if capable and they do not, that is their choice.

Some are unable to exercise much due to pain from nerve damage from working. I know this fits and is why there is an issue with weight here. There is also an issue locally, in WV.

Not all of us can afford gyms, personal trainers, physical therapy. I was listening to a report on NPR (http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/490/trends-with-benefits) last night. There's an aspect of that story I find telling. In the past thirty years, the way we all do work has been turned upside down. And no one bothers to really genuinely teach folks different skills, or if so at outlandish cost.

It makes the expression, "the cake is a lie" quite realistic and applicable beyond video games. Guess that's expected though as art mirrors life.And no I'm not excusing, condoning, justifying. I'm merely pointing out there are more factors to consider than some humble obese fool. Why not ask how they got that way? Look around, see if they have help to be any other way.

Honestly, if you believe the media I ought to have six pack abs and be able to run twenty miles a day, lest I be deemed unworthy of a Colgate smile from some Italian super model while in the French Rivera on vacation. Or maybe I should be a doctor what with all the adverts for medicines that keep airing on the television, be able to buy at least six new cars a week, too. So if I'm not the 'ideal', then I'm excluded wholesale? Isn't that a great way to inspire me to have better health, to care? The media is the message after all.

Sorry, I'm not lobbing off a volley directed at you. You seem to be grounded enough to understand that. Hopefully, you'll understand me asking to consider a larger perspective, not as a jib at obesity but an earnest plea to see globally. Again, not exactly excusing, condoning or justifying.

VZR1800

Mar 31, 2013, 1:05 AM

tenni

Mar 31, 2013, 8:42 AM

VZR1800

Your perspective is interesting and you have expanded your comments to clarify why you hold such a perspective on obese people. I was having difficulty relating how this tied in with same sex marriage until I re read the OP. The OP discusses our reaction to others and includes reaction to obese people kissing. What do we react to their obesity or the same sex kissing?

The reality brings it to our reacting towards someone else when we can do nothing about the other person. You can only control your own behaviour. I'll take it a stretch further and tie it to other people's reactions to someone else whether it is their behaviour or physicality. No one can stop you from being repulsed by obesity any more than you commenting on say monogamy. The only person that is capable of being monogamous is ourselves..not our partner. The only person that is capable of controlling your wife's weight is her..not you. It is clear that this bothers you. You get to chose if you are going to be monogamous to her or not. She doesn't get to control whether you are going to be monogamous. She can not demand it of you..well she can demand it but you control whether you are monogamous or not. She controls whether she is monogamous or fat to the point of being obese. You can not control whether two same sex people kiss in public. You can only control yourself. Stop whining about obesity. You are controlling your own body. You are controlling whether you are going to be monogamous to your wife. That is all that you can do. It is not your business whether or not a person kisses an obese person or not. If you don't like it, that's ok. You will live while the obese people die before you...probably. If you don't like having a fat wife, fuck off on her. Leave her and find love and happiness elsewhere.

darkeyes

Mar 31, 2013, 8:42 AM

Just keep digging, babes... maybe that shovel isny enough.. will sendya JCB 2 help!

tenni

Mar 31, 2013, 9:35 AM

ok..off topic ish. I just saw this on a friend's Facebook page. It could be Canada increasingly so but not quite as severe...yet.

14552

void()

Mar 31, 2013, 10:15 AM

Take my wife as a fine example. When I first met her she was going to a gym three days a week, watched what she ate, looked hot. For the three years before we got married she stayed that way. There was a picture of her on her refrigerator door as a whale, and her saying "I never want to look that way again." On the day I put the ring on her finger, we hoped an eight day seven night cruise. All she did that whole time was stuff her face. Never went to a gym again. At her request I paid $500 for a one year membership at a gym out in CA., she never went, not once. Looked like that picture two years later. Can't tell me that was not intentional. Got herself all hot looking, moved to California from Oklahoma, hooked a husband, then reverted to normal. What did she think the result of that would be?

Maybe you'll understand my attitude toward obesity better now.

I do not go to a gym, have everything I need right here at home. Pull-up bar, sit-up bar, push-up bars, dumb bells from 10 to 50 pounds, two bicycles one of which is on a fluid trainer stand for in home use, and hand grip strength exercisers from 60 to 360 pounds. Also I live in an apartment complex that has a 24/7 gym included right next to the pool. Makes it nice and easy to stay in shape.

Sure I understand people cannot do what I do, body pain etc. It's the ones who waddle while they walk in to McDonald's and buy the place out that I cannot tolerate. Sorry for this one: I just cannot imagine what it must be like to be that big and do a number 2! EEK! Headed for the hills.

Well, I do understand your view here on that. I'm inclined to concur with you up to a point. Then, I stop and think, consider all the factors.

And yes, even those whom make the choice to binge out, may be influenced by other factors. Presently, I'm 265 lbs and the governmental body mass index says I ought to be about 225 lbs. That's 40 lbs. I'm not exactly sure where it has come from. I'm more sedentary in life now, that's part of it. Another part lies in eating good old fashioned 'meat and potatoes' country home cooking. We eat lots of pork, chicken, veggies, pastas. Yes, I like some occasional junk food.

So, right away I've found two factors that I should have explicit control over. We've a pasture below us, we call it the 'bottom'. It is roughly 3 acres. This translates that walking around one lap netting a quarter mile. I walk around it four times, I've walked a mile. And all I need to do is walk a mile a day for a week and I can lose ten to fifteen pounds. I would do that too, and do do it, save for severe weather or pain days. Some days my back goes into spasms just thinking of walking a quarter mile, I force it anyway.

I could eat more veggies for sure, find organic and whole ones if I look and can afford to pay more. Don't need to cram junk food down. My wife likes bringing me in Taco Bell or Wendy's once in a while, it's simple to have a 'dinner'. I could even request salad from Wendy's though. There are plenty of ways I could be more active in making a choice, not doing so is making a choice too, understand that.

That noted, I have always been brought up that we eat meat. I was taught to hunt rabbit, squirrel, deer, coon, snake and lots of other various critters. Was even taught you can make it on grubs, ants, worms and the like if need be. It's not that I'm not aware of a healthy diet path existing. I choose though to follow a norm of the society which reared me. We eat 'high on the hog' when we do eat, because it might be a few days or longer until we have another good meal.

I think such habits are developed by oppression. I genuinely do. Then you've got GMO foods and foods that are deliberately screwed with in order to push bulk. Corn is fed to most edible livestock. It's been so modified that nature doesn't recognize it, corn that is. But here we are forking it into ourselves because it's cheap, because it's a filler food. This gets promoted by government, media as well.

Again, I understand your point and more power to you for staying healthy. I'm glad some are able. I had a weird dream last night which somewhat relates. In the dream I was in a mental health facility to see a therapist. I sat in the waiting room for ages. I had been dropped off by family. Eventually, I asked about my appointment. I was told to look at the board to find my therapist's phone number. Then call, and request they do their job. So i looked at the board I was directed to. It was blank. I said something of it.

"Well, call your ride", I was told. I never memorize any phone numbers as part of some mental issues I have. I don't know my own address at times, or contact info. It just doesn't stay affixed in my mind, sort like Sherlock Holmes forgetting useless facts. So there I am in pitched argument with a receptionist about not knowing who to call, a blank board on the wall.

I woke thinking myself and feeling obsolete. After all, here I am in a place where folks are supposed to help. They don't. What does that say? Am I beyond being helped? Is it easier to just let be what will be? Then I recall eugenics being in flavor here in the U.S. up until the nineteen fifties at least from the mid twenties. Who says who is undesirable?

I've served in the military, written and compiled a book of poems which was published. I've married and been so for thirteen years coming up on April 22nd. I've helped save lives while volunteering on a rescue squad. I've made a nephew say that I'm epic and he gives me free and innocent hugs just because, despite his parents being fools. I kept my family warm when I was six years old, I would bring in firewood I had split with my grandfather. I worked garden, raised food for my family from about the same age.

All of this but it's likely I'm deemed an undesirable. I'm not worthy in someone's eyes. Well they can enjoy the tobacco plug I'll spit out in their face, while I keep on keeping on, too. We don't need a different world, harsh enough living in our own. And yes, I see the world in which the advertisers suggest the ideal, as another world. It is a world where people who are supposed to help, don't. It's one that has a pie in the sky. Truth is we all going to die sometime. May as well enjoy the living.

I realize this is rambling. Sorry. I do that and don't realize it.

elian

Mar 31, 2013, 11:39 AM

The only thing I will and can say is if you want a routine of good health, do it for yourself, don't do it for me, don't do it for societal pressure, nor advertisers.. Exercise will make you feel better, to an extent it relieves stress...even if it is only a little bit.

I know that people come in all shapes and sizes, that is why I didn't key on on the "obese" word because I knew that the OP was probably referring to the thought that goes through a heterosexual person's head when they two men kissing.

As much as I don't want to admit it, people do judge others using physical stereotypes. I had a lot of success posting this lately..

Unless you’ve walked in someone else’s shoes you truly cannot understand what it is like to be that person. It takes an open mind, time and patience to look past the physical differences and see the people underneath. The difference with me is that whether or not I wanted it, I was FORCED to have an open mind.

It is painful to let go of things you don’t want to change, when I was forced to do that not only did my world not fall apart, but my sphere of understanding and compassion for others grew larger. I learned that there was more to life than just my own point of view, and that constructive debate can be healthy as long as all people are respected as a part of creation.

It took me 35 years to learn that lesson, I guess I shouldn’t be so impatient with other people that they can’t learn it overnight."

For some reason that seems to resonate with a lot of people, so thanks to the OP for giving me the inspiration to write about it on my blog.

elian

Mar 31, 2013, 11:46 AM

..and yes, it's off topic but we have industrialized pretty much everything we can in the US including food production..economies of scale man, economies of scale! When I went to the farmer's market the other day I made note that many of the vegetables were not that much more expensive if not less expensive then the ones I saw at the grocery. The problem is if I actually had healthy, fresh food to eat that would mean I'd have to cook it, and often times being single I am too lazy.

If you want to know the secret to healthy living it is to get at least some exercise every day and also to shop in the periphery of the supermarket, the outside walls usually have the fruit and veg, the meat, the dairy - the inside aisles usually have the processed food...fair warning though, as of yet I still haven't managed to heed my own advice.

VZR1800

Mar 31, 2013, 1:20 PM

I won't go off topic on this thread again. In fact this will be my last reply to this thread just t make sure.

On topic, suffice it to say that I do not know if I could kiss a guy even if he was in as good a shape as I am in. Would have to go with the flow on that one. It would be a spur of the moment thing. Kissing definitely helps get me turned on and hard faster. We'll see. Right now there is no one in my life, male or female. It could swing either way.

As for the comment on being faithful to my wife, we have been separated for eight months now at her doing. She came home one day, out of the blue, screaming she wanted a divorce. Up until that moment, I never ever cheated on her, unless you think hands on is cheating. Prior to marrying we had sex three times a week or so. After marrying it became two or three times a year. So hands on has been more frequent than sex with my wife.

What bothered me about my wife's weight is the fact that she went to great lengths to hide it so she could catch a sucker, then put it all back on within two years. I would have never even glanced at her if she had looked prior to our marriage how she looks now. She put on a false persona, got herself a husband, then went back to being her normal self and expected everything would be alright. And it pretty much was until the above happened. I never bugged or nagged at her about it, just let it be. I am mostly a pretty tolerant SOB and just keep my lip zipped on things that I dislike. The internet has a tendency to bring out the worst in us since we can hide behind a keyboard.

I'm outta this topic.

VZR1800

Apr 4, 2013, 2:26 AM

I'm not fat or obese but I would refuse to have sex with a muscle queen like yourself since I do not have a mirror large enough in my bedroom for a total narcissist like you. Also you are probably the type that won't even go with a man he is sleeping with in public for a meal or drink. I had sex with 12Voltman or Mike when we lived in Ohio and yeah I fucked his fat ass which was loose, sloppy, and he was begging for my dick and wanted my cum up there. Just because he was a bad fuck that does not mean that someone who is slightly overweight will have a loose sloppy hole like he did.

Ya see, there you are wrong. I would go out and eat or drink with any guy that would have me, fat or otherwise. Sleep with him or kiss him, probably not. Hang out in public, sure. I have friends who are way larger than I am and I'll hang with them anywhere any time. I just know my limitations, and being sexy with them is not happening. I appreciate those who look after themselves. try to hang onto their youth and vitality, rather than let it go.

Narcissist? LOL I often wonder when I send someone my face picture, if they are going to need a barf bag. Wonder why I do not leave a trail of broken mirrors behind me. But funny thing is, a 19 year old hottie on another site tonight, told me I am a handsome devil. That surprises me when I hear it. I always warn folks when sending my face pics, to be prepared for the worst. This 19 y.o. wants to come play with me. Imagine that. 51 years old and a 19 year old with a large cock wants to hang with me. That is where all of the effort I go to to remain healthy pays off. I wonder how many times in a day he can cum? I recall I could do five or six easily. I talked him out of it for tonight anyhow, it is raining and cold. Told him to get back with me soonest, like this weekend.

Whens the last time you had a 19 y.o.?

HAHA! He just pmed me he wants to come spend the night. Hot damn! Wants to know if I am into kissing and cuddling. A 19 y.o. with a big cock, hell yeah, anything he wants.

Realist

Apr 4, 2013, 11:54 AM

darkeyes

Apr 4, 2013, 12:56 PM

I think everyone has their particular interests and attractions......I have my own opinions, too. But, why do some feel obligated to share their vehement and un-asked for comments about others' physiques?

Surely, an unsolicited opinion of a subject like this is not helpful, but hurtful to some. If someone wanted an opinion, why can't we each respond in a respectful and discreet way? Some of the replies above would be painful for someone struggling with their own issues.

I feel that manners and respect has waned a lot during my life-time. It certainly wouldn't hurt for each of us to think about what we say, before we've destroyed some person's feelngs!

I have no issue with the OP; he is certainly working toward a solution for something that he's discovered, about his own conduct.Sum peeps Realist, just enjoy sticking knife in and trying 2 make otha peeps feel inadequate and guilty for being the way they r.. sum peeps in short r unpleasant nasty sods who aren't worth the skin an bone wich holds them togetha and r invariably nowt 2 rite home 'bout themselves and further, wiv ther own senses of insecurity, inferiority and inadequacy 2 boot wich makes them hit out at othas!!!!!

Meliss

Apr 4, 2013, 1:00 PM

I am in a little better shape than most in my exercise class and I get lots of attention for it by people who are in less good shape. I do think with moderate exercise and a diet where you are not hungry all the time any of these people could shape up. I find myself wanting to get to know the people especially if I find their face and personality pleasing. So it seems even if we accept at one level we make distinctions on another. People with money sort of want someone in a similar situation and values as well. Face it, if we didn't make distinctions we might be equally attracted to all people of both sexes.. lol

VZR1800

Apr 4, 2013, 2:08 PM

Well folks, I will be away from this site for awhile. Last night I got terrorized by a hot 19 year old, and OH what a night it was. Have a feeling him and I will be spending a lot of time together. No he is most definitely not fat. LOL

Who'd have thought a very young 19 year old would be interested in a 51 year old? He says he was immediately attracted to me by how hot my body looks. ;-)

Off to exercise now, got to maintain my fitness in order to keep him cumming back for more.

See ya.

elian

Apr 4, 2013, 8:37 PM

Like I said, all different shapes and sizes.. glad you found someone to spend time with VZR..

darkeyes

Apr 5, 2013, 6:42 AM

onewhocares

Apr 5, 2013, 1:05 PM

Very pleased for ya! Being obese is no sign that peeps don't care and many are so for reasons wich have nowt to do with overeating.. u've just expressed the view that u don't care in ways that a str8 bigot wud 'bout a gay or bi person.. so I wudn't brag bout it if I wer u... wtf r u 2 tolerate or not tolerate a person cos of his or her weight and appearance? We fight against intolerance every day of our lives cos of who we r... "fat" peeps who r bi or gay have it bad enuff for being bi or gay without ther own kind looking down ther noses at them for being overweight... u just sound like long, lanky drip of misery and intolerance 2 me... 0 out of 10 for compassion... 10 out of 10 for stupidity and ignorance.

THANK YOU Frances for saying what I wanted to say in only a way you could say. BRAVO!

Belle in Boston

onewhocares

Apr 5, 2013, 1:36 PM

I think everyone has their particular interests and attractions......I have my own opinions, too. But, why do some feel obligated to share their vehement and un-asked for comments about others' physiques?

Surely, an unsolicited opinion of a subject like this is not helpful, but hurtful to some. If someone wanted an opinion, why can't we each respond in a respectful and discreet way? Some of the replies above would be painful for someone struggling with their own issues.

I feel that manners and respect has waned a lot during my life-time. It certainly wouldn't hurt for each of us to think about what we say, before we've destroyed some person's feelngs!

I have no issue with the OP; he is certainly working toward a solution for something that he's discovered, about his own conduct.

Yes Realist, I agree. The lack of personal integrity that the person quoted above in a reply is, pathetic. His comments reak of self loathing to comment on another person like that. Kudos to Drew for deletion.

Belle in Boston

VZR1800

Apr 5, 2013, 1:43 PM

..an wot 19yo wud that b now, hmmmm?;):cutelaugh

You know lady, you can choose to believe it or not. Don't matter to me one wit. Three of the four men that have visited me since my wife told me she wants a divorce, have been young. One 19, one 20, and the other 23, And the guy that just left is my age exactly. We just enjoyed a wild hour together, I came twice, so did he. The young guys will not be back unless they understand there is no money in it for them. I am not their daddy, and told them up front, you will not be addicted to me or what I do. Understand that, you can come back. The guy who just left, physically fit, teaches scuba diving and has to be.

I am not going to divulge names of anyone, discretion is the better part of valor. The one who just left was met through this site, the three young guys came from another site.

Believe it or not, I do not care.

Adios

elian

Apr 5, 2013, 5:50 PM

I have had issues in the past wanting the unconditional love of a father figure so I do seek out older men and it is hard for me not to develop an emotional attachment to them if we have common goals and desires. The very last one I met it still scares me how much we just sort of fell into each other - I've never fallen for someone that quickly before and I hope the man doesn't think I am a lunatic for it. Whether I want it to be tempered or not it is, because right now he is so busy with other schedule that there's just no time to visit.

I'm not entirely stupid, I know that there is no such thing as a knight in shining armor and I do not want to be in a co-dependent relationship but I can't help expressing a desire to love and be loved.

large dick

Apr 6, 2013, 2:54 PM

I am in excellent shape for my age but compared to L.A. standards I am out of shape and nothing special but I don't want to be an anorexic roided out guy, and I do not want that in a male partner or someone who is obsessed with their own appearance and body so much that they would constantly criticize me or find flaws with me when they have low self esteem about themselves.

VZR1800

Apr 6, 2013, 3:22 PM

I do not and would not bug someone about their appearance. I am anal about my appearance that is a fact. Because appearance has a lot to do with health. If one looks healthy, one probably is healthy. I take nor need any type of medication, no one else in my family can say that. And all of them cannot see their shoes when standing upright. That is why I am obsessed with my appearance, fighting family genetics to the Nth degree.There are those who choose not to do so, and that is all well and good. But anyone who is going to be a large part of my life has to have the same outlook on things as I do or it's not going to work. You can be out of shape and we can be friends until the end of time. And I'll never say a word about it to you, or behind your back. But that is all we will ever be, friends. I have several friends who are rather large, and they are good friends. One is even going to great lengths to lose weight because "he wants to look like me". And I do what I can to encourage that. But I did not say anything to him to make him do it, he's doing it on his own.

Off my soapbox. Got an encounter with a great in shape guy tomorrow, and it is going to be an overnight thing. Got things to do today that I would normally do tomorrow.

Gearbox

Apr 6, 2013, 4:21 PM

Got an encounter with a great in shape guy tomorrow, and it is going to be an overnight thing.
Do you really need a gym with all these fit blokes your shagging all night?:tongue:
It's much more fun AND a lot cheaper.lol

VZR1800

Apr 6, 2013, 5:48 PM

Do you really need a gym with all these fit blokes your shagging all night?:tongue:
It's much more fun AND a lot cheaper.lol

That is a different type of exercise. ;-) Does not work out the muscles that keep you fit. Works one muscle only. It's fun, but got to keep everything else in shape, not just my peter.

VZR1800

Apr 6, 2013, 9:05 PM

Muscle Marys like you are best avoided since as others said you are very high maintenance and not worth the effort, and you hate yourself so you put down others who are not in shape like you are. Just because someone looks healthy that does not mean that they are you're foolish if you think that. I have a little bit of weight, I'm not obese but I go to a doctor and other medical professionals and I am healthy and the correct HWP/BMI.

See, there you go again. I do not have a problem with "a little bit of weight", most folks are like that. Italian guy that visited last night had "a little bit of weight", did not stop me for one sec. It is OBESITY I do not like. Especially when those same obese people are in line at fast food places ordering the menu, or in grocery stores pushing around two shopping carts of food that I would not eat. Did you not read what you quoted? Damn some people are just clueless, or their retention of what they read is gone. Reading comprehension, it's the most.

Take a hike. Stop responding like your feelings are hurt. You are probably a really great guy. I have a lot of friends, none of them have ever told me I am an asshole, even the big ones. One even called me the other day thanking me for being there when he needed me. He is a quite large black guy name of Steve G. I consider him possibly one of the best friends I have to date, and also one of the longest. another long time friend whom I ride motorcycles with frequently is 69 years old and large, Sam W. We talk on the phone for hours, he wears out my ears. And I never complain about it, just listen to what he has to say, usually a lot of ranting. ;-)

Our internet personae can make us appear way different then we are in real life. Sometimes maybe I may type things I would never, ever express aloud. So shoot me for it. I am quite sure I am not the only one who does so. A lot just will not admit it.

To know me is to love me. The exception being my wife who says I am an asshole. But still calls me when she needs something. Go figure.

VZR1800

Apr 6, 2013, 10:32 PM

Bro you hate fat people and hate yourself, and yeah it's obvious to everyone but you. Eventually you'll slip up and your so called "friends" will find out how you really feel about them and don't like them.

Adios loser. I've about had it with your s--t! Let someone else sort it out. Stop pming me. Stop it. Can a mod lock him from pming me?
I added you to my exclusive club, the only one on my ignore list. Congratulations. TATA A--hat.

http://i849.photobucket.com/albums/ab51/cbxer55/Asshat/asshat4.jpg

Mr. Suck

Apr 25, 2013, 11:11 PM

VZR1800

Apr 26, 2013, 2:08 AM

Why would someone over 30 even want to be with a 19 year old? LOL it's like that old Steely Dan song "Hey Nineteen" about some older man attempting to "date" a young 19 year old college chick and he realizes that yeah she may be hot, but she's not as experienced in the real world as him and they have nothing in common at all.

# !, both times I have been with someone that young, they hit on me, not me on them. I took advantage of the situation, probably carelessly. Won't happen again as like you say, absolutely nothing in common, no real world experience in just about anything. One did not even have a car. LOL I've since put a bottom limit on age for my acceptance at 40. Not saying is someone in their 30's wants to play, I'll turn them down. Have to think about it.

Another older guy who was into young guys told me of something that happened to him, and it put the scare on me. So I now for the most part do not even answer them when they get in contact with me. Just toss their inquiries in the trash bin.

In any event, they were not dates. They were meet ups to get it on, nothing more, nothing less. I would not be interested at all in any kind of relationship with someone that young, LTR or otherwise.

Mr. Suck

Apr 26, 2013, 2:51 AM

# !, both times I have been with someone that young, they hit on me, not me on them. I took advantage of the situation, probably carelessly. Won't happen again as like you say, absolutely nothing in common, no real world experience in just about anything. One did not even have a car. LOL I've since put a bottom limit on age for my acceptance at 40. Not saying is someone in their 30's wants to play, I'll turn them down. Have to think about it. Another older guy who was into young guys told me of something that happened to him, and it put the scare on me. So I now for the most part do not even answer them when they get in contact with me. Just toss their inquiries in the trash bin. In any event, they were not dates. They were meet ups to get it on, nothing more, nothing less. I would not be interested at all in any kind of relationship with someone that young, LTR or otherwise. What did the older guy tell you that happened to him that scared you?

VZR1800

Apr 26, 2013, 3:01 AM

What did the older guy tell you that happened to him that scared you?

He had been chatting with someone who claimed to be 19. They exchanged phone numbers and were trading text messages, as that is all he will do. He was contacted by the police for being involved with a minor, as apparently the "19" year old was actually under age. They said they could not arrest him since he had not actually been in physical contact with same, but warned him to watch who he chats with.

Whatever. I suppose something like this could happen even if the person said they were 40, and posted fake pictures. And do I know about fake pictures. Asshats. Fortunately I have a buffer zone, called a gated apartment complex. No one gets in unless I walk out and zap the gate for them. They have to pass the smell test first. And that is LOOK LIKE YOUR GD PICTURES! Otherwise I turn around and walk away. Happened four times now, turned around and walked away. WTF? Were those pictures taken 20 years ago? You think I am desperate or something? Damn!

Mr. Suck

Apr 26, 2013, 3:04 AM

He had been chatting with someone who claimed to be 19. They exchanged phone numbers and were trading text messages, as that is all he will do. He was contacted by the police for being involved with a minor, as apparently the "19" year old was actually under age. They said they could not arrest him since he had not actually been in physical contact with same, but warned him to watch who he chats with. Whatever. I suppose something like this could happen even if the person said they were 40, and posted fake pictures. And do I know about fake pictures. Asshats. Fortunately I have a buffer zone, called a gated apartment complex. No one gets in unless I walk out and zap the gate for them. They have to pass the smell test first. And that is LOOK LIKE YOUR GD PICTURES! Otherwise I turn around and walk away. Happened four times now, turned around and walked away. WTF? Were those pictures taken 20 years ago? You think I am desperate or something? Damn! How do you meet these people?

VZR1800

Apr 26, 2013, 3:06 AM

How do you meet these people?

Two were from Craig's List and sent their pictures via email. Two were from Man Hunt. I never met them. LOL
Probably better I did not meet them.

btw: I refuse to do CL anymore.